


To Insist

by LadyLuck22



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bathtubs, Control Issues, Daddy Kink, Dysfunctional Family, Epilogue, Exhibitionism, F/M, Father Figures, Flashbacks, Freedom Fighters, Grief/Mourning, Madness, Manipulation, Orphans, Past Abuse, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Size Difference, Slow Burn, Spanking, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Unrequited Love, tuberculosis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:01:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 66
Words: 154,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24335527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLuck22/pseuds/LadyLuck22
Summary: Cathryn spends three years searching for her surrogate family after being separated during a heist gone wrong. But when she finds them she discovers that almost everything has changed, and life isn't what she imagined it would be.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Dutch van der Linde/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 93
Kudos: 255





	1. Her Saviour

She remembered it clearly, like a recurring dream that you can’t escape. There were certain triggers that would give her a flashback. Like a half moon on a clear night or the cries of a horse that had been shot. So clear but easier to believe it was just a story than her past. As she rode towards Blackwater she looked into the sky, it was a night like this one. 

_“Quickly Darling! Get into the forest and don’t come out until we call you!”, Cathryn nodded, a girl of only ten but she knew the look of fear that plagued her mothers face. They were in danger, and she had to do her part to keep her family safe. So she did what her mother told her to do and ran into the nearby forest. She found a small fold in the ground, hidden by a large boulder and squeezed into it. She was smaller than her age suggested. She tried to listen hard, hoping to hear what was happening, but she was terrified to hear something go wrong. They had been travelling for a few days, only just arriving in America from England as her father wanted to start a new life in the West. They had no idea what this country was like but the moment they heard gunshots aimed towards their vehicle they knew it wasn’t a good sign. Her father had worked the horses almost to death to get them close to the forest, he wanted her safe. So she would do as she was told._

_After what seemed like only a few moments several gunshots went off, Cathryn waited with baited breath, hoping that her father had managed to defend himself from a small group of stupid bandits. But as the minutes rolled on and her parents voice was nowhere to be heard she slowly got up, curiosity getting the better of her. They should have called by now. She wandered closer to the edge of the forest and saw the wagon, the horses had disappeared, looking around and seeing no one she edged closer to see two bodies in the ground. Cathryn felt the tears in her eyes before she knew what she was looking at. Both of her parents, shot down, dead. Her father had two bullet wounds in his chest while her mother had one in the middle of her face. The gaping hole would never be erased from her memory. The hyperventilation happened before the crying. She was in the middle of nowhere, she had no one to look after her, she was going to die._

_Her thoughts were shattered as she heard a growl in the distance, her mother said there may be wolves out here but she never thought she would actually see one. But there they were, a pack of three staring at the carcasses on the ground by her. She couldn’t let them eat her parents, she couldn’t witness it so she grabbed her father's gun from his cold body and aimed it at the pack. She had no idea what she was doing, she had never held a gun before this moment but she couldn’t do nothing. They crawled forward and she took a shot, the wolves flinched but they sensed her fear. She was nothing compared to them, she was easy pickings and they would feast for weeks. She looked at her parents one last time, a final goodbye, before shooting again and again and running back into the woods. She had to hope they would be distracted enough that they would let her go but the howls that followed her indicated that wouldn’t be the case. Her heart beat quickened as she started to cry._

_“Someone please”, she cried out, to no one but herself. This was it; she saw their eyes gleaming in the darkness. She hoped it would be quick, she wanted to see her father and mother again. She closed her eyes, bracing for the teeth when she heard a gunshot go right past her, she whipped her head around to see darkness but when she looked towards the wolves, she saw that one had been struck down, shot perfectly in the head. The others took offense and went to pounce but another two shots rung through the air and they fell to the ground. Cathryn started to cry out, praying the stranger wasn’t the one who killed her family, when she saw him._

_He held out a lantern, his face glowed brightly like he was an angel, her savior. He was a tall man, clean shaven with black hair, younger than her father but still a grown man. He raced towards her._

_“Are you okay Darlin’?, he reached his hand out to stroke her cheek, she shook her head as tears streamed onto his hand. “Was that your family? The couple by the wagon?”, Cathryn nodded, suddenly terrified that this was the man who attacked them, but he seemed so gentle and kind, he couldn’t have done it. He looked towards their general direction and frowned. “I’m sorry Darlin’, but they aren’t coming back.”, there was a pause as she saw him thinking for a moment, he then turned to her with a smile. “How about you come back with me? I’ll look after you.”, Cathryn looked around for a moment and nodded, her parents told her to be weary of strangers but what choice did she have and he did seem nice. “Okay little one.”, with that he put his arms under her legs and her back, lifting her up to take her to his horse. “I forgot to even tell you my name and for that little lady, I apologize. The name is Dutch van der Linde, but you can call me Dutch. You want to tell me your name?”, she gazed up at him, trying to muster a smile._

_“Cathryn.”, he looked down in shock, surprised you managed to speak, before grinning like a Cheshire cat._

Cathryn wandered into the entrance of Blackwater, she had never been to this town before but she had a lead there would be work somewhere. She would look into the doctor's office to start with, the saloon being her last resort. As she made her way down one of the side roads she heard a familiar voice. 

“Look Arthur, I don’t care what you do just don’t be reckless!” 

“When am I ever reckless Hosea? I always get a job done!”, Cathryn stopped in her tracks and followed the voices into the alley, staring at the two men who were failing to be discrete. 

“Arthur...? Hosea...?”, they turned to her quickly, weapons drawn. They stared at her for a moment, recognizing her face but trying to piece together the foggy memory. It was Arthur that spoke first. 

“Cathy...is that you?”


	2. Journey through the past

_By the time Dutch had taken Cathryn to the camp the sun had started to rise. She was tired but there was no way she was going to fall asleep in this man's arms, she was too frightened for that and her adrenaline was too high to relax. Dutch has kept quite quiet, checking on her a few times but mostly leaving her to her thoughts. She preferred it that way, she didn’t really want to talk to anyone at the moment. Riding up a hill Cathryn was pulled into reality when she heard a man shout._

_“Whose there?”, Dutch sighed._

_“It’s me Hosea, for God sake...” He then turned to Cathryn, “It’s not like he doesn’t have two perfectly functioning eyes!”, Cathryn smiled out of habit though she had no idea who this Hosea was. As Dutch hitched his horse up and pulled her off the saddle, she noticed a group of people rushing towards them. Cathryn tried to hide behind Dutch but he just chuckled at her embarrassment._

_“Who's this little one Dutch?”, said the oldest of the group. He had sandy blonde hair and a serious look on his face. He didn’t look scary, he just looked quite concerned. She reckoned that this was Hosea, the man who called out to them on their way into camp._

_“This is Cathryn, I was on my way into town when I noticed some O’Driscolls making some noise. They shot down a wagon and left this little one on her own. I saw her take on three savage wolves Hosea, very brave, very promising...”, Cathryn looked up to Dutch, unsure what he meant but Hosea must have understood. Dutch then jumped slightly. “Oh forgive me, my dear, let me introduce you to everyone. This is Hosea and his wife Bessie...”, Cathryn smiled at the blonde man and his wife, she seemed lovely. “And then this is Ms Susan Grimshaw, she takes care of us all around here.”, he gestured to a woman near the back, she looked even more stern than Hosea. “And then these are my two boys! Well, they aren’t MY boys but they are family. This is Arthur and John.”, Cathryn waved at the two boys. Arthur was the oldest of the two, a boy on the cusp of becoming a man with short brown hair and the makings of a stubble while John looked about 15 with longer black hair. “Well that’s everyone! How about we get you set up? Bessie, could you find a suitable place for Cathryn and make her feel at home?”_

_“Of course, Dutch, come on sweetie.”, Bessie replied with a smile, Cathryn liked her so she nodded and followed her into the camp, looking back on her new family._

“Cathy...?” 

There was a pause for a moment before Cathryn nodded vigorously, she had done it, she had found them. Arthur grinned, running over to her, picking her up and swinging her in the air. She laughed in delight. She found them; she wasn’t alone anymore. Hosea ran over to give her a long hug, she missed them both so much. 

“I never thought I would see you again!”, Hosea confessed, a sad smile graced his face. Tears filled Cathryn’s eyes as she shook her head. 

“I never stopped looking.”, She hoped Hosea would be happy to hear that but instead he just looked solemn. “Hosea, it’s alright. I’m here now. I’m home.”, Hosea smiled and hugged her once more. When they separated Arthur grabbed her shoulder to spin her around. 

“Now that this is all out of the way...where have you been?”, Cathryn sighed, this was going to be a long story. 

“How about we talk it over a few drinks?”, the pair looked at each other and nodded with full certainty. 

*** 

“So... the day before I disappeared, I heard that there was a potential wagon coming through that had some serious cash. Me, being the reckless teenager I was, decided that I wanted to surprise everyone. I only told John about it and even he thought it was a crazy idea but he kept the secret anyway...” 

“Yeah, John finally confided that information with us a few days after you disappeared, it really fucked with him y’know?”, Arthur said, Cathryn sighed, nodding her head sadly. She worried endlessly since her disappearance that John blamed himself for what happened. But it wasn’t his fault, she would make sure he knew that. 

“So anyway, I went to do the job, I did everything right. Except that what I didn’t know was that the Sheriff in town had been using this rumour to capture any potential outlaws. I was completely ambushed and there was no way I would have made it out without dying. So, I surrendered and was arrested.”, Hosea looked confused. 

“But we searched every jail for miles, no one had seen you?” 

“A few hours into my jail time a nun came into the sheriff's office, hoping for some donations that the Sheriff would never have given her. She saw me in the cell, a young girl trapped in a life of crime who was barely grown and wanted to save me. She paid my bail and took me with her across the country to a home. She took care of me though, I was well fed and learnt how to read and write well. They even wanted me to become a nun but when I turned eighteen, I decided to try and find you all. It took three years but here we are.”, Arthur and Hosea stared at her for a moment and began to laugh. 

“You? A nun?”, Arthur choked. 

“I’ll have you know, Mr. Morgan, I became a very respectable lady of the lord.” 

“I’m sure you did...”, the sarcasm dripping from his voice like the tears of laugher from his eyes. 

“Well, I’m happy that you’re back where you belong Cathryn. But a lot has changed since you were gone, our gang has more than doubled in size!”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows, to her it was a small family but now she was going to have to meet everyone. 

“You think I’ll fit in?”, Hosea stood up and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

“Of course, you will.”, Cathryn smiled then suddenly realised the question she had been dying to ask all this time. 

“What about Dutch? Is he still alive?”, Hosea nodded and relief flooded through Cathryn. Dutch had been the closest one to her, she couldn’t bear to think of him on his death bed. 

“Alive and kicking, and my God is he going to be happy to see you.”


	3. Home

Cathryn found herself getting more and more nervous the closer they got to the camp. She had no idea why, she had been building up this moment in her head for years and now she was wrought with fear. What if Dutch didn’t want her around anymore and what if the other gang members shunned her out? She had no where else to go, finding a new home seemed almost impossible. Arthur seemed to notice her concern. 

“Are you alright?”, Cathryn tried to muster a smile. 

“Just nervous is all...”, Arthur nodded, thinking of what to say to cheer her up. 

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I remember how Dutch was when you disappeared. For over a year he went looking for you, searching jail to jail and asking around. It was a hard time, he took it real bad. He won’t let you go again, no matter what the gang says, and hell, I see no reason why they wouldn’t like ya.”, Cathryn smiled at the thought, Arthur always knew what to say to help her feel better and it wasn’t long until they got into camp. It was hidden off into the tall trees on a slight levelled ledge, Cathryn was shocked by the number of tents there were. It was nothing like how she remembered. Hosea hitched up his horse with Arthur and called everyone forward. There were so many new faces, all of them looking perplexed at this new member of the gang. 

“What the fuck are we all standin’ around for?”, cried a familiar voice and it wasn’t long until Cathryn was face to face with the man who started it all. Dutch van der Linde. He hadn’t changed much except he now sported a moustache and goatee, still tall and sturdy, still dressing fancier than his station. It was still her Dutch. He stopped and stared for a moment, a glimpse of shock then suspicion. Then there was silence, no one wanted to say anything. 

“Hi Dutch, it’s me Cathy...Did’ya miss me?”, everyone looked around at each other, no clue as to what was going on. Dutch was still for a moment, realisation dawning slowly while his smile was growing. 

“My girl...”, he came forward, hands clasping her face, drawing her in closer as he inspected every detail of her being. Trying to convince himself this was no longer a dream, after all those years she had finally come home. “You’ve come home to us...” 

“Nothing could keep me away once I found ya...”, Cathy smiled and Dutch returned the favour. 

“Everyone!”, he shouted, though the whole gang was only a few feet away. “This here is Cathryn! She was with us when she was only a young girl and she’s now returned after years of separation. She is with us! She is family! You will all treat her well! Do you understand me?”, there was a chorus of agreement from the gang and Cathryn couldn’t help but smile, she couldn’t wait to be introduced to everyone. Ms. Grimshaw was the first to rush forward, having known Cathryn when she arrived to the camp. It was strange to see her so emotional, maybe she did have a heart after all! She then met the other girls: Karen, Tilly, Jenny and Mary-Beth along with the men: Bill, Javier, Charles, Sean, Micah, Uncle, Mr. Pearson, Lenny, the Callander brothers and Herr Strauss. Finally, she turned back to Dutch to meet Molly O’Shea, hanging on his arm, it was strange seeing Dutch with a partner. She hoped that he was happy with her. Molly didn’t seem too pleased to see Cathryn but she was a stranger and Cathryn thought a bit of skepticism was natural so never questioned it. Everyone was so sweet to her, Mary-Beth offered to share a tent with her. 

“Why thank you Mary-Beth, I would love to stay with you.”, Mary Beth smiled and began the necessary preparations. 

“Don’t worry my dear, I’ll get you set up in no time!” Ms. Grimshaw stated, hurrying to bark orders at the men who seemed too preoccupied with the new guest. Cathryn laughed softly at the thought of these burly men bowing in submission to Ms. Grimshaw, she was always a feisty one. 

“My my, I never thought I would hear that laugh again...”, Dutch reminisced, Molly still clinging to his arm. Cathryn smiled, thinking to herself for a moment. 

“Dutch, could I speak with you? In private?”, Molly whipped around to Dutch, hoping to get his attention so that he would refuse but she should have known it was futile. 

“Of course, my dear, anything for you.”, He took Molly’s fingers, detangling them from his arm and guided Cathryn to the edge of the camp, his large hand resting on the small of her back. When they were in the clear he turned to her and spoke softly. “Anything you need, just let me know.”, Cathryn nodded and looked around at the camp. 

“Quite a place you got here...”, Dutch smiled and gazed over his camp with pride. “I’m guessing the mission is still the same?” 

“Of course, we fight for freedom, but our system is a lot more meticulous than before. We have more mouths to feed, more people to protect. We even have a kid.” 

“A kid? Yours and Molly's?”, Dutch laughed. 

“God no! John and his wife Abigail. They’re out for a couple of days, Abigail's idea really, thinks John needs to get closer to the boy. Not the best father in many respects.”, Cathryn frowned. John had never been too good with relationships. 

“Well at least he’s alive...”, Dutch nodded, solemnly. 

“Aren’t you gonna tell me about your wild adventure?”, Cathryn sighed but nodded. 

“I wanted to impress you with a catch that I heard, turned out it was an ambush. Got thrown in jail and within moments a nun with a mission to save the souls of the many turned up to make me a civilised woman of God...”, Dutch raised his eyebrows. He hadn’t expected that outcome but it was better than the alternatives that swam through his head some nights. 

“Well at least you’re safe...”, Cathryn smiled and there was a long pause, she could tell Dutch was thinking of what to say. “Y’know, I looked for you for over a year. Couldn’t stop looking. Hosea said I went a bit mad, eventually talked me into calming down. But I never forgot you...”, Cathryn rested a hand on his shoulder. 

“I know...”, another pause. “Dutch, I’m not the girl I was. The last time I picked a pocket was when I was thirteen. There was no place for it where I went and I saw no need of it when I got myself out. I wanted to find you but I was so scared you wouldn’t want me anymore. I can’t pull my weight like I used to; I’ve lost all my tricks...I’ll help you guys anyway that I can though...I promise.”, Dutch looked at you for a while, analysing the situation like she had seen him do many times before. She would respect his decision no matter what it took. 

“I know you Cathy, I know you’ll pull your weight. If you want to be trained again then I have no qualms, though I may be a bit overprotective to start...but if you want to stay back and help with the camp then I also respect your decision.”, Cathryn smiled and jumped into Dutch’s embrace. 

“Thanks Dutch, I really missed you.”, she felt Dutch pull her even closer, his face in her neck. 

“I missed you too Darlin’.”, Cathryn then pulled away and looked back at the camp. 

“Well then, I best get to work...”, Dutch laughed and grabbed her by the arm. 

“Oh woah Darlin’, it’s almost sundown, rest for the evening. We are going to celebrate tonight so you can meet everyone and get acquainted...”, Cathryn smiled widely. She was home.


	4. First taste

It had only been a few hours and Cathryn already felt like she was getting along well with the gang. The girls had been nothing but nice to her, she had missed the female company. One of the best things about her time away at the nunnery house was that she had a lot of strong females around to talk and relate to. Now it was a different sort of strong, but still welcome in her eyes. 

“So usually the men go around and collect the money whilst we do some of the chores around camp but we also get to have some fun once in a while, I love a performance!”, Karen said, then thinking for a moment she asked. “So, what was it like beforehand? Was it as extravagant as this?”, Cathryn thought for a moment. 

“I mean, Dutch and Hosea have always loved a show. But no, not as extravagant as it seems now. I did a bit of acting in my time though. Lost little girl is always a classic...”, Karen nodded knowingly. 

“Alot easier to do it when you are a little girl!”, Cathryn laughed and nodded. 

“So...a lot of the girls have been wonderin’...you must have been around when Arthur and John were only teens. Spill the beans...”, at that point, all the girls stopped what they were doing and stared at you smiling. Cathryn started to laugh, a hint of red at the cheeks. 

“Uh yeah, so Arthur was about eighteen and John was fifteen when I first arrived. Arthur was always quite sweet, though he was hung up over this girl called Mary pretty much the entire time I knew him. And John, well John was also sweet but he put up a tough exterior, didn’t really like getting close to people.” 

“And you never?”, Karen hinted. 

“Oh no! I was far too young for those boys! I had a little crush on Arthur when I was like twelve but I saw how he liked Mary and I don’t know...I want to be with someone who only wants me? You know.”, Karen smirked, nodding slowly. 

“Well...Mary is out of the picture...”, Tilly then slapped Karen at the back of the head. 

“You know she isn’t Karen! I bet if she sent him a letter he would rush to her beck and call. I’ve never seen him with another woman.”, Cathryn smiled sadly. It wasn’t that she loved Arthur but it must be hard to be in love with someone and not be with them. Mary had always been sweet to her but she knew she would never give up her life to be with Arthur. 

“Well, who knows? Maybe one day she will realise what she’s been missing.”, all the girls smiled at the thought of seeing Arthur happy, though none of them believed Mary would ever join the camp. 

“Hey look! John and Abigail are back! We’re gonna have another family reunion!”, Karen shouted, and Cathryn span around to see him. He noticed her instantly, it was a strange few moments, but he eventually came over to her. 

“Cathryn, is that you?” 

“The one and the same John Marston.”, John didn’t crack a smile, he almost seemed worried that she was here. Cathryn noticed his discomfort. “I’m sorry John, for what I put you through. It wasn’t your fault that I was taken, I was young and stupid. I felt terrible for years, putting that pressure on you. I missed you a lot.”, John looked around, clearly uncomfortable but then looked straight in her eyes. 

“There’s nothing to forgive, now come here.”, he then pulled her to him in a close embrace, the girls simultaneously screaming ‘AWWW’ in the background. The two of them just laughed it off. 

“John Marston, I’m away for less than a minute and your already in the company of a new woman!”, a shrill voice cries and Cathryn steps back to see Abigail. 

“Abigail, this is Cathryn, I told you about her a couple of times...”, Abigail thought for a moment, realisation dawning and smiled. 

“It’s lovely to meet you Cathryn, I’m Abigail, Johns wife.” 

“It’s nice to meet you Abigail, in all honesty I was shocked to hear John got married, he never seemed the romantic sort!”, Abigail laughed. 

“No he ain’t, but I can’t seem to keep him away from me!”, the two women laughed. “Oh, this is our son Jack. Jack say hello...”, it was then Cathryn saw the small boy hiding behind his mothers skirt. Cathryn crouched down to meet him. 

“Hi Jack, pleased to meet you.”, you reach out your hand and see him slowly come into the open. He stares at you for a moment and then shakes your hand. 

“Hi.”, Cathryn giggles and looks up at John. 

“Well isn’t he a fine gentleman. I wonder where he gets it from?”, John blushes and walks away, leaving a small group of women laughing behind him. 

*** 

Dutch made sure that everything was perfect for tonight, there was good music and lots of alcohol. Charles even hunted a feast for everyone, so that even if people didn’t care much about Cathryn's return they knew it was important to Dutch. Cathryn sat with Sean, Charles, Karen and Javier around the campfire as drinks were passed around. 

“So a nunnery! I hear freaky stuff goes on in there sometimes...”, Sean said, already drunk despite the fact the sun hadn’t even set yet. Cathryn decided to play along. 

“Oh definitely, the freakiest stuff, you couldn’t even imagine.”, everyone began to chuckle, knowing full well you were pulling Sean’s leg but he was oblivious. 

“I hear that girls stick with girls...if you get my drift...” 

“Well its either that or the priest...and he has other tendencies...”, Sean spit his drink into the fire causing it to bloom larger. Cathryn just laughed. 

“Haven’t seen you take a drink yet Cathryn!”, Karen exclaimed loudly, passing a beer to Cathryn, or trying to without falling over. 

“I have to confess, this will be my first drink...”, Karens mouth fell open in shock. 

“No way!”, Cathryn shrugged. “EVERYBODY GET OVER HERE, CATHRYN IS HAVING HER FIRST DRINK!”, Cathryn sat there blushing wildly, new rule, she thought to herself, stay away from Karen when she is drunk. All at once the campfire was surround by the whole gang, other than Abigail and Jack who were in their tent. 

“How the fuck have you never had a drink before?”, Bill asked. 

“I told you guys, I was living in a nunnery!”, she saw Micah whispering something to Javier, the two of them smirked and stared at you. Cathryn had never felt so uncomfortable. 

“Well then, we toast with you! To your first drink, to coming home!”, Dutch toasted loudly, everyone raised their drinks together. Cathryn smiled, nervous at their reaction and took her first taste of beer. It was bitter and not the nicest thing she had ever tasted but it would do. Everyone cheered as she swallowed it down and all she could do was laugh. 

*** 

Many hours of dancing and singing had passed, Cathryn had about three more beers after her first and the outline of her vision was beginning to get blurry. She recalled Javier telling her about his life in Mexico but by the time he got to America she had completely forgotten what he was talking about. She looked over to see Hosea and Ms Grimshaw talking to one another in high spirits and to her left she noticed Dutch dancing with Molly, he would keep glancing at Cathryn occasionally. 

“If you’ll excuse me, I think I should head off, this drink is getting the better of me.”, Cathryn went to excuse herself but was stopped by Dutch. 

“Now, now. Can’t go without a dance, I insist.”, Cathryn laughed, her feet feeling light. 

_“Y’know how to dance m’lady?”, Cathryn giggled, Dutch was in a good mood. Maybe he just made a score. She shook her head and laughed as he picked her up from the side and placed her small feet onto his larger ones. He then moved side to side, her following his guide as he counted out loud. “You getting it?”, she nodded and jumped off his toes before continuing to learn on her own feet._

_“Now for a spin!”, Hosea shouted with Bessie in his arms. Dutch lifted their arms up and span her around. Once, Twice, three times. Cathryn could only laugh as she got more and more dizzy. Then when she felt like she was going to fall to the floor, Dutch picked her up to spin her around. “And switch!”, Cathryn then ran over to Hosea, twirling around the room, music filling the air. Everyone was laughing, everyone was happy. Arthur was dancing with Bessie and Ms. Grimshaw with Dutch. Even John was looking at everyone with a large smile, though he refused to dance himself. She felt like she was flying._

“If you insist, good sir!”, Cathryn responded in a posh British accent. Everyone laughed and began to get up to dance. Arthur was with Mary-Beth, Sean with Karen and others in their own corner of the camp. Some danced fast, arms hooked and running circles whilst others were more slow, in deep conversation. Dutch and Cathryn happened to be dancing much slower than everyone else, slower than they had ever danced before. One hand was at her waist whilst hers reached up to his shoulder, the other hands were clasped together tightly, like they were afraid to let go. 

“What did they feed you in that nunnery? You may only be an inch or so taller than I remember, and you were tiny then!”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Being small has its advantages Mr. Van der Linde! Had I known I would arrive here only to be bullied by yourself I would have stayed far away!”, Dutch smirked and pulled her in closer, it was almost like an embrace. Cathryn looked into the camp, noticing how Molly O’Shea had disappeared whilst Ms. Grimshaw stood staring at them, it was an unnerving stare so Cathryn looked away. 

“Now don’t be like that. You have grown into a beautiful young woman...”, Dutch spoke softly as if he was afraid that others might here. Cathryn laughed softly. 

“Don’t say things you don’t mean Mr. Van der Linde. It’s very cruel!”, it was at that point that Dutch stopped dancing, his hand left her waist as he cupped her face. His grip was soft but firm, she didn’t dare escape it. 

“You’re mistaken my dear, cruelty would be not telling you the truth. And that truth is that to me now, as the moonlight shines on your face, surrounded by laughter and happiness, you are one of Gods most beautiful creations.”, Cathryn’s world fell silent, only hearing the hammering of her heart, this seemed wrong somehow but she didn’t know what to say and the alcohol wasn’t helping. All she could muster was a drunken giggle as she tried to look away from his intense stare. 

“Don’t Dutch, you’re making me blush!”, his hold then went completely firm, bringing her back to look him dead in the eye. 

“And when I thought you could give me no more...”, his right thumb then went to brush her warm, newly rosy cheek. Cathryn forced a smile, as uncomfortable as she was and went to pull away. Dutch finally letting her go. 

“Thank you for the fun night Dutch, but I’m really tired and should be getting to bed. Have a nice night with Molly.”, she smiled once more, waving her hand in his direction and quickly walked to her tent, scared to look back at whatever scene was evolving behind her. As she got on her cot, desperate to sleep and trying to block out the drunken noise, the only thing that lingered in her mind were those eyes and whether it was the excitement or the fear that kept them there.


	5. Annabelle

Cathryn woke up to the sun streaming into the tent, it was too bright and her head was pounding, she wondered why people found this kind of pain fun. She couldn’t remember clearly what had happened the night before but she knew that Dutch had been acting rather strange and so made it her mission to give him a bit of space. She was about to get up when she overheard two voices in the back of her tent. 

“Look, don’t you think it’s rather odd? There’s something not right about it.”, that was Ms. Grimshaw. Cathryn decided to lean closer to hear better. 

“I don’t even know what you’re worried about Susan...”, that was Hosea. Something seemed really off. 

“She looks just like her, just like Annabelle. You saw the way Dutch was with her last night.”, Who was Annabelle? Cathryn thought to herself. Were they talking about her? 

“Yes, there are some similarities but what does that have to do with anything? Cathryn was here before Annabelle and Dutch wouldn’t do anything like that. She was like his daughter for Christ sake...” 

“Oh really? A father doesn’t hold his daughter like that, or stare at her like that.”, There was a pause, but Cathryn didn’t hear Hosea walk away. “Just promise me Hosea, look out for her. And if Dutch says anything or even hints then you let me know.”, Ms. Grimshaw sounded desperate. Cathryn had never heard her so emotional before and they had been through a lot together. 

_Blood. Cathryn had never seen so much blood before and so she screamed the house down. Ms. Grimshaw ran into the bedroom and looked down on the small cot that was stained bright red. She then looked up at Cathryn’s wet red face, puffy from distress, and sighed. She walked over to Cathryn, placed a hand on her hair and stroking gently._

_“It’s alright dear, its nothing to be concerned about. You’ve become a woman...”, Cathryn looked up at Ms. Grimshaw, with no idea what she meant. Ms. Grimshaw smiled. “When a girl reaches a certain age, she is able to have children. Every month you will bleed like this until you become pregnant. It’s not the nicest thing my dear but it is something we all have to deal with.”, Cathryn looked down on the bed, feeling anger and frustration grow inside her._

_“What about the boys? What happens to them?”, Ms. Grimshaw laughed._

_“Nothing dear and yet they say we are the weak ones! You will be fine; I’ll show you how to predict when you will next bleed and we can go to the store and buy some new items for you that will help. I’ll have to let Dutch and Hosea know.”_

_“No, you can’t!”, Cathryn cried, scared that they will be disgusted by her. Ms. Grimshaw saw this and frowned. She then grabbed her arm tight._

_“Now you listen to me. You are a woman, and unfortunately life is not kind to us. We have bodies that we do not understand and we are often preyed upon by the cruelest of men. You are allowed to be angry at this, you are allowed to be wary of them. But not for one moment, should you ever feel disgusted by what you cannot control. It’s wasted energy and will only bring you down. Do you understand me?”, Cathryn nodded silently. She understood now._

“I promise Susan. I’m sure I can find a way for Molly to keep him busy.”, there was more silence and then she heard them go their separate ways. 

*** 

Cathryn walked over to the coffee that was brewing in the corner of the camp, she was alone for a while, reflecting on what she had overheard a few moments ago. Ms. Grimshaw was always an observant woman and Dutch had made her feel uneasy but surely there was nothing to it. Things couldn’t have changed that much. 

“You doing okay Cathy?”, Cathryn jumped as Arthur came up behind her. “Sorry to scare ya, you looked lost in thought.” 

“I’m okay, it’s just been a lot you know?”, Cathryn poured Arthur some coffee. “Can I ask you something?”, Arthur nodded. “I’ve heard Annabelle mentioned a few times, was she someone important?”, it was a white lie, she had only heard the name once but it obviously held some weight. Arthur thought for a moment and nodded. 

“Yeah, about a year after you had gone Dutch found her in a town, she was being robbed and he saved her. They fell in love and she was with us for about five years. She was lovely and sweet, a dreamer too like Dutch. But when Colm O’Driscoll found out about them and Dutch killed his brother, well, she got caught up in it all...”, Cathryn frowned, Dutch must have felt terrible about it all. But that still didn’t explain what Ms. Grimshaw was going on about. 

“That’s so sad, what did she look like?”, Arthur chewed his lip and then looked at Cathryn. 

“Kind of like you. Small, though still probably taller than you, blonde hair and bright eyes.”, Cathryn smiled. 

“You’ve been looking at my eyes Mr Morgan?”, Arthur scoffed and looked around, refusing to answer the question. 

“Just don’t talk about Annabelle out loud, Molly can’t stand to hear that name.” 

“What is with her?”, Arthur smirked. 

“Dutch’s new fling. A high society lady from Ireland, or so she says. She thinks she’s better than everyone else and only really hangs around Dutch. She loves him I guess but for him I don’t think it’s anything more than a distraction.”, Cathryn frowned. 

“Well that’s not fair on her...” 

“Yeah but it’s not like she’s a nice girl Cathy...She’s not like you.”, Cathryn scowled. 

“Arthur Morgan, you listen to me. That girl gave up her home, her society and her family to be with Dutch because she loves him and yet everyone’s whispering behind her back because they know Dutch is going to ditch her by the side of the road one day. That ain’t fair on any person, no matter how much of a snob they are.”, Arthur sighed and looked towards Dutch’s tent. 

“I guess you’re right. She chose to be with him, she chose this life. Not every woman in love would do such a thing.”, Cathryn frowned, sensing his sadness, and placed a hand on his shoulder. For they both knew who he was talking about. 

*** 

Cathryn was helping Pearson chop up the vegetables when she noticed Molly storming out of Dutch’s tent to sit by the edge of the forest clearing. Cathryn looked at Pearson, who had just been gifted a couple of rabbits by Charles and decided to ask if she could have a break for a few moments. 

“Hey Pearson, could I have a few moments to myself? I’ll be back quickly.”, Pearson looked at her for a second, about to skin the first rabbit and nodded. Cathryn smiled at him and walked over to the same direction as Molly. She found her pacing back and forth, mumbling to herself, Cathryn frowned. She must be so lonely. 

“Hey Molly. Nice day huh?”, Molly looked her up and down and grunted. 

“What do you want?”, Cathryn flinched, she never heard an Irish accent so cold. 

“I just wanted to talk; we haven’t really gotten to know each other since I arrived...”, Molly just ignored her, Cathryn didn’t realise how difficult this would be but Sister Margaret always told her the toughest individuals are often the loneliest. “I liked your dress last night. Is it from Ireland?”, Molly sighed. 

“I don’t really want to remember last night. It was fun for you but terrible for me, in case you haven’t noticed, Dutch is mine. I don’t take kindly to how close you were getting with him.”, Cathryn laughed which caused Molly to raise her eyebrows in confusion. 

“Dutch isn’t...”, Cathryn slowly calmed down. “Dutch took me in when I was about ten. There’s no way he is interested in me, especially when he has someone like you!””, Molly frowned and looked at the ground. 

“Dutch doesn’t love me.”, it was almost like a weight had been lifted from Molly’s shoulders. The words she had always wanted to say but was too afraid of them. “I gave it all up for him. My family, my friends...and he doesn’t love me. That’s why I have to cling on, or I’ll have nothing left.”, Cathryn sat down on the log next to Molly, a hand on her shoulder. 

“You don’t know that...”, Molly laughed at the idea. 

“Oh please, he never once mentioned you, you know? We’ve been together almost a year and when I saw his reaction to you coming into camp it was like Annabelle came back from the grave. It was like you were his long-lost love, hasn’t been able to stop talking about you. I saw it! The way he looked at you last night! We argue all the time...I hate it...”, tears started to fill Molly’s eyes and Cathryn put an arm around her shoulder. 

“I’m sorry Molly, no one should have to go through that. Look if it makes you feel any better then the idea of Dutch and me together is just strange, he’s like a father to me. It will die down soon, I promise.”, Molly looked at you, you saw the vulnerability in her eyes. She wanted to trust you, she really did. “How about we get out of here for a day? Waltz around Black-water and pick something up for the camp? Keep peoples spirits up!”, Molly smiled at the idea but then quickly frowned. 

“They all hate me.” 

“No, they just don’t understand. I’ll help you Molly, I’ll do anything that I can.”, Molly thought for a moment and then nodded. 

“Okay, maybe tomorrow? Dutch is planning a Ferry heist and it will be nice to celebrate when it’s done.”


	6. The Blackwater Massacre

Molly and Cathryn got up relatively early to start their day in Blackwater, it wasn’t too busy in camp and they hoped that the nature of the ferry heist would keep the camp quiet until they got back. Cathryn found that once she got through to Molly she was actually quite a nice girl. She learnt that she hated her life in Ireland and had dreamed of coming to the New World since she was a child. She also discovered that she met Dutch whilst he was on one of his heists, she was wooed by his stories and charisma, so much so that she helped them get away and begged to go with them. She was too young and innocent to understand what she was getting herself into, she sometimes wishes she never set eyes on Dutch. 

“I love him but...I wonder what I would tell my past self. I’m not sure I would have told her to follow him...but then I never liked to listen to authority much.”, Cathryn smiled, she knew what she meant. It was easy to say these things with hindsight. 

“You were young, it isn’t your fault.”, Molly nodded to herself, then smiled. It was nice to finally have someone listen and understand. 

“Sometimes I get scared, you know?”, Cathryn stopped and raised an eyebrow, unsure of what Molly meant. “I don’t think I could ever leave, even if it were over between me and Dutch...” 

“Of course he would let you go...”, Molly shook her head. 

“He would put the camp first, and none of them trust me. Letting me go would be risky.”, Cathryn sighed, she understood. Some people in the camp may be concerned that the moment Molly left she would be found by the Pinkertons or the law and coerced into telling them the location of the hideout. 

“Well then, let’s try and change that, should you ever want to go! How about we get something for the camp?”, Molly nodded, looking through the shop window. 

“Maybe Dutch would like a new mask...”, Cathryn frowned and placed a hand on Molly's shoulder. 

“I think we focus on the camp in general...”, Molly nodded. She would look for any excuse to make Dutch happy, if it meant she could keep him close. After looking through a few more shop windows they had decided on buying some new blankets and bedding for the camp, that way they would be able to keep warm as it got cooler. Molly packed them in the back of the wagon and smiled at Cathryn. 

“Thank you for your help Cathryn, I’ve had a lot of fun today.”, Cathryn smiled and was about to reply when she heard her name. It was Arthur and Hosea, running towards them. 

“Cathy! What the hell are you two doing here?”, he looked panicked, Cathryn had never seen him so unnerved. 

“We went to get some bedding to surprise the camp...”, Hosea paced around, shaking his head. 

“You need to get out of here. Its not safe.” 

“What are you on about?”, Cathryn pressed, she knew there would be a heist happening but no idea it would be that dangerous. 

“Dutch and some of the others are trying to rob a ferry, the score is apparently big but I think it’s a set up. Me and Hosea had our own lead and ended up finding a whole load of Pinkertons. We only just managed to get away without them knowing, I think it’s all a setup, there’s too many of them!”, Cathryn’s heart stopped. 

“We need to get to them. We need to stop this.”, Cathryn said and Hosea turned to her. 

“Exactly. You two, head back to camp, warn the others and start packing. I reckon we’ll have to move soon; I can’t see this ending well.”, Hosea ordered but Cathryn shook her head. 

“I can’t go, I want to help, I’ll blend in more.”, Hosea looked at you, knowing full well you wouldn’t leave no matter what he said and nodded. He then helped Molly onto the wagon and told her to ride swiftly back to camp. Arthur grabbed Cathryn’s hand and they ran over to the docks; they weren’t even out of the side roads when they started to hear gunshots. 

“Shit!” Arthur shouted, knowing they had gotten there too late. Cathryn looked to the ferry and saw it crash into the docks as the captain tried to get everyone off board. The screams were deafening and it wasn’t too long before the Pinkertons began to swarm the area. This had to have been a set-up, it was just like when Cathryn had been ambushed all those years ago. 

“I see Micah and Bill...”, Cathryn whispered, looking through one of the windows. Arthur nodded and moved them to an area surrounded by shipping containers. 

“They should come through this way, more cover. We’ll join them when they get here but until then we just lie low.”, Cathryn nodded, she forgot how it felt to be in the middle of a heist. She wasn’t sure if the feeling in her stomach was fear or excitement. 

“Arthur, I don’t have any weapons on me.”, Arthur looked at her in shock and then gave her one of his shotguns. 

“You remember how to use it?”, Cathryn nodded, she hadn’t used it much recently but it was an instinct within her. The gunfire was getting louder and she unconsciously went to grab Arthurs hand. “Shh, it’s okay. I think they’re off the ferry now, I give the word and we run with them. You got it?”, Cathryn nodded. Within seconds, Arthur yanked Cathryn’s hand and they joined with the other group. 

“Where the fuck have you been?”, Micah shouted at Arthur. 

“Finding out that the area is swamped with Pinkertons then trying to warn you about it!”, Arthur shouted back. The three of them ducked behind a large crate as bullet flew through the air. 

“And you thought to bring your little girlfriend along?”, Arthur grunted before popping his head up behind the crate and shooting down two of the Pinkertons. 

“Micah, what’s the plan? Where are we going?”, Cathryn shouted, trying to figure out how they would escape and tired of the two arguing at a time like this. 

“The train station isn’t too far, Dutch knows it going to cross through the country, we’ll jump off when we get closer to camp.”, Cathryn nodded, she knew her way to the train-station. “Dutch sent his signal, we move now!”, Micah shouted and ran to one of the less crowded side roads. Arthur and Cathryn followed close behind him, managing to dodge the bullets that went their way. Thankfully the Pinkertons seemed to be more preoccupied on the opposite side of the docks where it seemed many of the others were hiding out. As they moved quickly through the streets they noticed that it was rather empty, people had either flooded to the docks to see the commotion or into their homes to hide until everything had finished. The train-station was even more quiet, Micah jumped on board and helped up Arthur and Cathryn. In the train Cathryn looked around to see John, Bill, Davey and Lenny. Lenny was crying in his hands. 

“Lenny are you okay?”, Lenny shook his head. 

“It’s Jenny, she’s gone.”, Cathryn pulled Lenny in for a hug, John placed an arm on her shoulder. She saw he was bleeding from the arm, he had been shot, though it had only just grazed him. 

“They got Mac and Sean too...both of them captured.”, Cathryn shook her head in shock, what had gone wrong? It wasn’t long until Javier, Hosea and Dutch got onto the train, Dutch looked around and when he saw Cathryn with Lenny she saw fire burning in his eyes. He stormed over to her, grabbing her by the shoulders. 

“What the fuck are you doing here? You were to stay at camp!” 

“I didn’t know the heist would fuck up this badly Dutch! And I couldn’t leave you all!”, Dutch pushed her away, his head in his hands. 

“Bill, get to the driver. I want him going as fast as he can. Everyone else get to the back of the train.”, everyone nodded in agreement and ran towards the final cabin. There were a few passengers onboard but most of them were scared away due to the gunshots and had hidden inside buildings. Dutch looked around at the passengers, and upon hearing more gunfire outside he grabbed the passenger closest to him, a young woman, and took her to the back of the train, holding a gun to her head for the Pinkertons to see. 

“Dutch! What the fuck are you doing?”, John shouted. 

“Getting us home safe, they aren’t gonna shoot if we have a hostage!”, Cathryn stared at Dutch in shock, feeling sick in the stomach as she heard the women's whimpers. 

“Please don’t hurt me...”, the train started to move, and Cathryn watched as the Pinkertons began to get further and further away. 

“Let her go now Dutch...”, Arthur said softly, he could tell that Dutch was crazed. There had never been a worse failure of a mission since he had joined Dutch all those years ago. He could see that Dutch wasn’t coping well and he didn’t want him to do anything stupid. 

“I don’t know. I reckon we should shoot her anyway, send them a message that we aren’t to be messed with.” Micah said off-handedly. Cathryn noticed Dutch glancing at Micah, considering his suggestion. 

“No Dutch. Let her go.”, Hosea ordered, and Micah only growled. 

“The moment we let her go we show weakness!” 

“No, we show them we are monsters!”, Micah laughed. 

“Oh right, like they don’t think that now!”, Cathryn looked around to see some of the others starting to get worried. 

“Dutch...you don’t need to do this...please...”, Cathryn started to beg, the longer she saw Dutch holding the gun to the womans head the more likely she believed he would listen to Micah. But Micah wasn’t impressed and sauntered over to her. 

“Oh please Dutch!”, He whined in a high pitch voice trying to impersonate her, “Shut the fuck up! You shouldn’t even be here, you should have stayed at camp and kept safe! Dutch, listen to me. They’ve seen us now, **all of us** , we can either send a message to tell them to stay away or we submit like dogs. We aren’t dogs, we are men!”, Micah declared. 

“Dutch!”, John shouted. 

“Whatever you do Dutch, I’ll stand with you. I’ll always stand by you.”, Micah swore in Dutch’s ear. There was a second of silence, the Pinkertons small figures in the distance, until a loud gunshot rang through the final cabin and Dutch threw the cold corpse onto the tracks behind them.


	7. Frozen

Travelling through the mountains was difficult and bitter, had Cathryn realised this would be where she ended up after finding her family she may have thought twice. Everyone was suffering, and at this point the only high spirit was Dutch, though he had to remain hopeful for appearances. Cathryn was riding one of the wagons with Arthur by her side. He had his own horse but he temporarily decided to give her a break from having his weight on her back, Cathryn reminisced about how Arthur always loved being with horses. Cathryn looked up to see Dutch watching the two of them, his stare was becoming increasingly unnerving. 

“Have you spoken to him yet?”, Arthur could see it too but Cathryn just shook her head. No, she hadn’t spoken to Dutch since the train escape, in all fairness he hadn’t tried to speak to her either. 

“He’s not the Dutch I remember...”, Arthur grunted at her response. 

“Don’t let him hear you say that...”, Arthur could also see that Dutch was becoming more undone, but then he had always been an outlaw, what he did wasn’t completely out of the ordinary, but for Dutch, well it was just strange. 

“He shot her Arthur. She was innocent and he shot her...”, Cathryn looked back up at Dutch who was leading the way. “she didn’t need to die...”, Arthur put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I know but...we have to try and move past it. We have to, look at us. This is no place to freeze someone out...literally!”, Cathryn laughed as Arthur gestured to all the snow but stopped when she saw Dutch look back at them. 

“He’s mad at me...he’s never been mad at me.”, Arthur grunted. It was true, Cathryn had always listened to Dutch and always made him proud. The only time she would have made him mad was if he stopped her from getting captured all those years ago, she never got to experience it. 

“Well it’s about time! And... he isn’t mad because you did something wrong. He’s just mad because he worries about you...”, Cathryn rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah but you were worried about me and you didn’t grab me whilst shouting in my face!”, Arthur waved his hand to dismiss her comment. 

“Yeah but I knew there was no way I could stop you, plus we had all just been shot at. I don’t think anyone would be that calm in that situation”, Cathryn sighed. There was no way getting around this, she could only hold this silence for so long until she would have to speak to Dutch again. Suddenly there was some commotion from up ahead. 

“We found shelter!”, it was Javier and Cathryn sighed in relief. They would be warm, not super warm, but warmer than they were in this snow storm. Cathryn looked around to see everyone light up, they had hope, they had a path. As they drew closer to the small abandoned mining town Cathryn saw Abigail come forward with little Jack in her arms. 

“He still isn’t back Arthur! Micah is but not John. He wouldn’t have run off again, I know it!”, Cathryn looked at Arthur with one eye raised. Again? Had John left Abigail before? 

“Don’t worry Abigail, I’m sure he will be back soon and if he isn’t I promise I will go find him.” 

“Thank you Arthur!”, Abigail said, riding forward to stay with the other wagon. 

“Has John disappeared before?” Cathryn asked and Arthur nodded. 

“For about a year, Jack was only a toddler. It took a real toll on Abigail, but he came back again.”, Cathryn nodded, she was sure there was more to the story but Arthur didn’t seem too keen on saying anymore. They were almost at the shelter. 

“God, I’m so cold. I’ll be glad when we’re out of this storm. This is worse than that first Christmas I spent with you!”, Arthur laughed, remembering how Cathryn had never seen such snow and demanded they kept playing in it despite how cold it was. The next day Cathryn had a fever and Dutch wouldn’t leave her bed-side for about a week. The pair both looked at each other, simultaneously imagining the giant snow man they built and Arthur pulled her to him roughly, ruffling her hair whilst she laughed, begging him to stop. 

“Arthur stop!” 

“Why? Can’t take it!”, Cathryn began to scream in delight when suddenly he stopped. Cathryn looked up to see Dutch standing right beside the wagon, glaring at the pair. Cathryn lowered her head. “Sorry Dutch.”, Arthur grumbled. 

“Well when you’re quite finished, we can begin moving everything we need from the wagons into the cabins. Arthur, you will stay with Hosea and me. Cathryn, I trust you will stay with the ladies in their cabin?”, Cathryn looked up at Dutch was a scowl on her face, which infuriated Dutch even more. 

“What’s that supposed to mean Dutch?” 

“It means I want to ensure you are following my orders and not playing around in a time of crisis!”, by this point Dutch was almost shouting and several of the gang had decided to watch them. Cathryn noticed everyone’s reactions and not wanting to cause an even bigger scene decided to submit. 

“Anything you say Dutch.”, she looked him dead in the eye, frustration clear in the lines on her forehead before jumping off the wagon and helping the rest of the group unload. 

*** 

By the time everyone had moved into the Cabin, Abigail had pronounced that Davey was dead. The gang were full of sorrow, but most of them had grieved earlier, there was no way he would have made the trip alive. Ms. Grimshaw had already started ordering people around to organise the bedding and to check if there was any food available. Everyone else just gathered around Dutch as he prepared to address the crowd. 

“Now listen...Listen to me all of you, for a moment.”, everyone stopped what they were doing and gathered around. “Now we’ve had...a bad couple of days. I loved Davey, Jenny, Sean and Mac...they may be okay but we just don’t know. Now if I could throw myself in the ground, in their stead, I would do it. Gladly. But, we’re gonna ride out, me and Arthur, and we are gonna find us some food!”, Cathryn looked at Arthur, who nodded in full certainty. “Everybody, we are safe now! There ain’t nobody following us through a storm like this one! And by the time they get here, we’re gonna be...we’re gonna be long gone.”, everyone nodded and relief filled the room through his words, even Cathryn felt safe with him around. Still angry but safe. “We’ve been through worse than this before. Mr Pearson and Ms Grimshaw, please turn this place into a camp. We may be here for a few days.” They both nodded in obedience. “Now all of you! Get yourselves warm! Stay strong! Stay with me! We ain’t done yet!”, and with that Dutch and Arthur went out into the cold night to scout the area further. Cathryn frowned, she had seen Dutch perform a rousing speech before, but nothing like what she just saw. Maybe she was over-reacting, maybe it was inevitable with all the stress he was under. She vowed she would try and make it up to him, even if it was just a small conversation. 

*** 

After an hour or so, Cathryn whipped her head around when she heard Dutch return with Arthur, Micah and a strange woman who was crying. 

“Micah found us a homestead, but he weren’t the first. Colm O’Driscoll and his scum beat us to it.”, Cathryn grimaced, she hated the O’Driscolls, they were responsible for their death of her parents and Dutch never let her forget it. “We found some of them there but there are more around apparently who are scouting a train.”, Cathryn saw Hosea shaking his head, Dutch now was definitely interested in the train. “But we found some supplies, and some blankets, a bit of food and this poor soul, Mrs Adler. Miss Tilly and Miss Karen, could you warm her up please, give her something to drink?”, the two girls nodded, taking Mrs Adler by the arm and showing her their corner of the cabin. Cathryn looked at Mrs Adler, now she wouldn’t be the newest member. They would have to speak soon. “They turned her into a widow...”, Dutch hissed at the closest members, before looking at Cathryn. The O’Driscolls destroyed everything in their path. “I need some rest. I haven’t slept in three days.”, Cathryn nodded, though she gathered he wasn’t just talking to her and watched as he left the cabin to his own one. The small conversation would have to wait. Arthur nodded in greeting to Cathryn before following Dutch whilst the rest of the gang went to their own rooms. 

“Why don’t you rest Cathryn? I know you haven’t slept much either...”, Ms. Grimshaw observed and Cathryn nodded. She wandered over to a corner of the cabin that had some blankets strewn across the floor. It wouldn’t be comfortable but it was better than trying to sleep in a blizzard. 

*** 

Cathryn woke up to the sound of Abigail pacing around the cabin. 

“Still no John?”, Cathryn mumbled, wiping her eyes and standing up. Abigail shook her head and placed her face in her hands, trying to hold in the tears. 

“I know he’s alive, and I know he’s in trouble. They need to find him.”, Cathryn nodded. 

“I’ll go talk to Arthur.”, Abigail smiled sadly, running to Cathryn to give her a hug. “Hey, it’s okay! We’ll find him! I promise!”, Abigail released Cathryn, continuing to thank her, and went to tend to Jack. Cathryn looked around to see that most other people were asleep and so quietly put her giant coat on that Arthur gave her to head out to his cabin. The snow had managed to settle slightly and the wind wasn’t as bitter but Cathryn still wrapped the coat tighter around her body. When she got to the cabin, she knocked on the door softly. It was Arthur that opened it. 

“Hey, everything okay?”, he was in hushed tones, everyone else must still be asleep. 

“Abigail’s worried about John, I thought we should try and get him before everyone else wakes up. It’ll be a nice surprise.”, Arthur nodded and slowly shut the door behind him. They went to get their horses when they were faced with Javier. “Hey Javier, want to help us get John back?”, Javier smiled. 

“As long as I can get away from Bill! Snores like a pig, didn’t sleep all night!”, Arthur laughed and the three of them got on their horses. “I’ll lead, my tracking skills are a bit better than yours...”, He looked back at Arthur, “No offence...”, Arthur chuckled. 

“None taken...” 

*** 

After an hour of searching through the mountains, the three riders spotted a body lying on the snowy floor. It had to be John. Fear ran through Cathryn’s veins as she assumed the worst, he looked almost dead. They ran closer to the body. 

“John? John!” Arthur shouted and the slightest movement sent relief through the team. 

“Hey guys...”, John coughed. His face was covered in blood. 

“What the fuck happened to you?”, Javier asked and John could only smirk. 

“Bear got me...” 

“Must have not liked how you tasted or the only remains we would have found is your bones...”, Cathryn joked, offering her arm to him. He grabbed it, along with Arthurs and pulled himself up. 

“In all honesty, I thought I was gonna die...”, Javier helped to lift John onto his horse. 

“Obviously there are other plans for you...” 

“I guess so!”, with everyone back on their horses they rode down the mountain and back into the mining village, John was pretty quiet, his bloody wound causing more pain every time he spoke. They needed to get him back to the cabin before it got infected, Cathryn was surprised the bear didn’t rip his eye out his socket. As they got closer they saw that everyone was pretty much awake and starting their chores, though Dutch, Hosea, Bill, Micah and Lenny were nowhere to be seen. Abigail saw the three in the distant and ran towards them. 

“John! John!”, Javier helped John get off his horse and led him into the cabin. “Thank you Cathryn! Thank you Arthur! Thank you Javier!”, Cathryn smiled and placed a hand on her arm. 

“He’s badly wounded, it will scar pretty bad but hopefully we can get the infection down. Where is everybody else?”, Abigail sighed. 

“They’re out to find that O’Driscoll camp, Dutch thinks the plans for the train might be there. He was looking for you three to join him but when I told him you went to find John he went at it alone with the others. He didn’t seem very happy.”, Cathryn frowned. 

“Seems I haven’t made him very happy of late...”, Abigail crossed her arms. 

“Well if he has something to say you can bring him to me! You were out there finding my husband, he would have died without you! Thank you Cathryn. I appreciate it.”, Cathryn smiled. Well, at least she had made one new friend in the camp.


	8. The Gift

Cathryn watched as John Marston slept, his wound had been cleaned and he just needed to survive the next few days to ensure the wound hadn’t gotten infected. Abigail was finally able to rest as well, but Jack was too frightened to see his father. Cathryn sighed, she wasn’t surprised that Johns family dynamic wasn’t perfect, he had always been stand-offish to anyone who tried to get close but if they were still together after all this time then fate was definitely at play. He deserved to be happy, he deserved to be loved. Then as quickly as the silence came, it was gone, when Dutch and the boys returned from the O’Driscoll camp. Cathryn rushed outside to meet them and see what had happened, following behind the men was someone Cathryn had never seen before, must be one of the O’Driscoll boys. 

“We found him trying to run from the camp, thought he could give us some important information when the time comes.”, Bill declared, and everyone nodded in agreement. Dutch looked around at everyone present. 

“Did we miss anything while we were gone?”, Cathryn stepped forwards, his eyes immediately on her. 

“Javier, Arthur and I found John in the mountains, he’s resting at the moment but he was attacked by a bear. I’m not sure when he will be back to normal.”, Dutch nodded but stayed silent, before moving to his cabin. Everyone else disbanded but Cathryn needed to talk to Dutch so ran after him, calling his name. He turned around. 

“What is it Cathryn?”, Cathryn looked around, hoping to find a way out but she knew it was futile. They had to squash this tension once and for all. 

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. What happened at Black water, it frightened me, I’ve never seen you like that before. But staying silent and this, this...tension...it’s not helping us. So I want to get past it. Please can we get past it?”, Dutch stared for a moment before nodding slowly, Cathryn smiled softly. It was a start. 

“We’re going to catch this train in a few hours, you’re welcome to join us if you wish. There shouldn’t be many guards and it could be educational for you...”, she could see that he was asking her to come, testing the waters, but she just didn’t feel comfortable enough to return to how it used to be. 

“I would Dutch but I’m just scared I would get in the way; I haven’t robbed or anything in a long time and I don’t want to be a burden. Maybe some other time?”, Dutch nodded, she could see that he wasn’t pleased with her answer. He went to turn away when he stopped and looked back at Cathryn, particularly the coat she was wearing. 

“This looks awfully familiar...”, he tugged the right side of the lapel, stroking the fur gently. “Is it yours?”, Cathryn shook her head. 

“I didn’t have any winter clothes so Arthur let me borrow one of his coats.”, Dutch frowned, pinching the lapel tighter before releasing it completely. Air flooded Cathryn's lungs, she didn’t realise how long she had been holding her breath. “I was thinking of going hunting with Hosea, he isn’t going on the train?”, Dutch shook his head. 

“No, we don’t need too many people. Go ahead, it will help with target practice.”, Cathryn smiled and nodded, leaving Dutch to finally enter his cabin and plan their next move. 

*** 

“Okay, look up ahead, see the two does?”, Hosea whispered and Cathryn nodded silently. She took one of the arrows out from her pack and took aim with her bow. Shifting her feet she pulled back the string until it rested on her cheek. Breath in, Breath out. Loose. The arrow fired through the air and pierced the one doe in the neck whilst the other bounded off into the fresh snow. Hosea nodded, a smile on his face. “Very good. Let’s try and get another...”, Cathryn smiled and followed Hosea to the other does tracks. Hosea was the person who showed her how to hunt, a few weeks into her stay with the gang he taught her how to catch a rabbit. She cried the first time, sad to see the small furry creature in pain, but when she had her first proper meal in over a week she understood. Food was life, and sometimes food was once life. Cathryn tried to use every part of the animal in her kills, that was justification enough for her. It wasn’t long before she regularly went out with Hosea to hunt, she had a good eye and a steady hand that was perfect with a bow. They would hunt rabbits, birds, deer and even boar. It was how they bonded, it was how they coped. 

_Cathryn walked past Hosea’s room; it was the afternoon but he was still asleep after drinking all night. The cycle was continuous, he would stay up for days at a time, drinking in hopes to forget and then pass out on the floor. Arthur or Dutch would be the one to pick him up and take him to bed, he would be unconscious for about a day. But it was getting cold and food was becoming scarcer, Hosea hadn’t been out hunting since Bessie died. It was a quick death, one brought by a horrific disease that none of them understood. One moment she was teaching Cathryn how to mend clothes and then the next she was choking in bed, begging Hosea to save her, wailing that she couldn’t breathe. They all stayed awake, praying she would last the night but when she turned silent and cold, they knew it was too late. It had been a month and nothing felt like it was going back to normal anytime soon, Dutch, John and Arthur were often away to make money whilst Ms Grimshaw tried to keep everyone together. Cathryn often times felt like a burden, she could only do so much at her age. But on that particular day she decided that if she couldn’t provide for the camp through thievery, she would do it through hunting._

_She put together her equipment, looked at Hosea’s sleeping body one last time and wandered into the woods by the camp. She knew that there weren’t any predators around these parts, or at least none that she had come across with Hosea but there were plenty of deer. A flash of white in the distance caused Cathryn to get low to the ground, there was no mistaking the white-tailed deer. She had found her prey. After an hour of stalking the creature, aiming to shoot and then blowing her cover she followed the stag to a small river. He seemed to have calmed down this time, drinking slowly from the water, unaware of the green eyes that had been following him. Cathryn took the arrow from her pack and slowly drew it to her cheek. Breath in, Breath out. Just like Hosea said. Cathryn took the shot, the arrow landing in the deer's leg, it was too wounded to move and scramble out of the river so Cathryn took her shot. She ran towards the stag with the hunting knife Dutch had given her in her small hand and stared at the beast. It wailed in terror, knowing its fate, but begging to survive. Cathryn shut her eyes tight, it was akin to the cries of Bessie the night she died. But this wasn’t Bessie, this was a deer and it could save all of them. She took her knife and plunged it into the stag’s neck, watching as the blood poured out onto her hands._

_After composing herself for a few moments, Cathryn picked up two of the stag’s hooves and dragged it to the campsite, it took over an hour as the beast was twice her size but by the time she got it back to the camp she was filled with relief._

_“Cathryn! Cathryn! Where are you?”, Cathryn turned around to see Hosea awake and shouting for her. It was the most active she had seen him in weeks. He turned around and saw her clamber into camp, dragging a large stag with her and tears filled his eyes._

_“I thought we might want something more substantial to eat...”, He stared at her for a moment before running over and pulling her into his arms. It was at that moment that Cathryn knew he would be okay. It may take a while, and things may never go back to normal, but Hosea would be okay._

“Got them!” Cathryn rejoiced as she managed to shoot the other doe in the head. The two of them carried the pair of does onto their horses. 

“Well done Cat...you still got it after all these years!”, Cathryn smiled and got onto the horse. 

“Well I had the best teacher...”, Hosea grinned and they rode back together, telling old hunting stories of years ago. 

*** 

“These are some fine looking does Cathryn...if you bring me anymore like this I could craft some items. For yourself or the camp!”, Cathryn smiled. 

“Why thank you Mr. Pearson. It should keep us going for a while!”, he nodded and went to skin the first of the does. 

“Oh, before I forget, the train heist went well! We should have enough to leave tomorrow and find a new camp! Dutch was also looking for you...”, Cathryn nodded and went to his cabin to find him. She knocked on the door and heard his voice telling her to enter. When she opened the door, she saw it was just him on his own, sat on an armchair and reading a book. He looked up and smiled the moment she closed the door behind her. 

“Ah, Cathy...you returned!”, he stood up and moved to the dining room table. 

“With two does, should last us the rest of our journey.”, Dutch nodded, a wide grin on his face. He then turned to her and beckoned her closer with his finger. Cathryn raised her eyebrow and came closer to the table. 

“Close your eyes...”, Cathryn held back a laugh but did what Dutch said, he seemed to be in a happy mood. She heard his footsteps circling her, and her amusement faded into anticipation. Once he was behind her she felt his large hands encompass her waist. He slowly untied the binding that kept the coat together and let it fall loose at her sides. 

“Dutch what are you doing?”, she felt his warm breath by her ear as he hushed for her to remain silent. He then placed his hands on her shoulders and removed the coat slowly from her body. Cathryn was frozen to the spot; all she could hear was the sound of their breathing and maybe even the hammering of her heart. She was sure her face was bright red, she must look like an idiot. He then walked away from her and quickly returned. 

“Arms behind you.”, he ordered softly and Cathryn quickly complied. All of a sudden, her arms were enveloped by the softest furs she had ever felt. He must have bought her a new winter coat, she laughed as she felt her nerves dissipate. The coat engulfed her, she had never felt so warm and secure. His hands were then back at her waist, tying together the bindings tightly to ensure it would not come undone. He stepped back and came to her front, surveying his handiwork. “Now you can open them...”. Cathryn opened her eyes to see Dutch staring at her intensely, she looked down onto the coat and gasped. It was black fur with a grey trim inside that could only be seen on the inside of the sleeves and the lapel. She had never seen such a fine coat. 

“Dutch it’s...it’s beautiful!”, Dutch chuckled and moved in closer. 

“I knew you would love it...”, his right hand lifted her chin softly so that her gaze would meet his. “It looks good on you.”, Cathryn blushed, had Dutch always been this intense? She looked back at the coat; this would have cost a fortune so it must have been stolen. She can only imagine Dutch spotting the coat on a woman on the train and demanding she take it off. She didn’t know whether to laugh or feel embarrassed at the idea. She wondered if anyone else knew he got this for her. 

“You didn’t have to...I was doing just fine with Arthurs coat.”, Dutch smirked, leaning on the table behind him. 

“I know...but I saw it and thought of you. It will also probably smell a lot nicer than Arthurs old coat...”, Cathryn laughed, she didn’t want to say anything to Arthur but she could tell he had been wearing it for a while without washing it. “I also wanted to see you happy.”, he reached out his hand for hers, she stared at it a moment but took it as he pulled her along to face him. He was still taller than her, even whilst he leant on the table. “Promise me Cathryn. If you need anything, if you want anything, you will come straight to me. Only me.”, He took hold of both of her hands, she felt so tiny compared to him, how could she say no? 

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all your wonderful comments, they keep me going! :) I hope you enjoy this chapter.


	9. Rosemary

The next morning rolled around and everyone started packing up to move from Colter. Everyone was in high spirits, they were ready to leave the freezing hell hole and return to a more moderate temperature. It represented a new chapter for them, a way to move on. Dutch told everyone that they had found a small clearing near the town of Valentine that would be perfect for them to settle into. Cathryn had never been to Valentine before, but she trusted Dutch’s judgement on the matter. She watched as the men lifted John into one of the wagons, he was still resting from his bear fight but the worst of it had passed, it hadn’t gotten infected. 

“Nice coat...”, Arthur mentioned as he walked passed Cathryn, carrying several pieces of luggage, Cathryn smiled. 

“Thank you, Dutch gave it to me. I’ll wash yours and give it back when we get to Valentine.”, Arthur shook his hand once he dropped the bags off in the wagon. 

“Don’t worry about it. Just give it back whenever, I hadn’t worn it in a while anyway.”, Cathryn smiled. “Where did Dutch find it?” 

“On the train.”, Lenny popped up, obviously hearing their conversation. “Young woman was wearing it, Dutch wouldn’t take no for an answer.”, Cathryn grimaced, it was lovely but if Lenny had seen Dutch do it then they all had. Cathryn didn’t mind when Dutch spoiled her, he used to do it all the time when they all lived together, but now the spoiling came with watching eyes and gossip. If she wanted to build bridges with Molly then perhaps Dutch’s gift-giving would get in the way. “We were surprised he gave it to you though, thought it was for Molly.”, Ah, she thought, so they had been talking about it. 

“I think it’s just because I didn’t have any winter clothes...”, Cathryn tried to feign innocence but Lenny just nodded, he knew there was more going on. The rest of the packing was quiet after that, Cathryn helped some of the women get into the cabin and was called on by Hosea to join him at the front to steer one of the wagons. 

“Lovely day for a ride on the snowy mountain...”, Cathryn smiled and nodded, it was very beautiful up here. Maybe she would have enjoyed it if she hadn’t been running for her life in a blizzard. 

“It’s beautiful...”, they started their journey, Dutch up front with a wagon rode by Uncle. Cathryn could really take a look around and admire the scenery, it seemed that despite all her travels she never took in the majesty of the world around her. But now, surrounded by friends and family, she could really take in every detail. How the sun shone bright on the fresh fallen snow and how clear the blue sky was. Everything was peaceful. 

“So...a new coat from Dutch?”, Cathryn blinked a couple times. There goes the peace. 

“Yeah...it’s lovely...”, there was a moment of silence, she knew Hosea wanted to say something. Maybe it was to do with what she overheard him and Ms. Grimshaw talking about. 

“Has Dutch...been acting strange around you?”, Cathryn bit her bottom lip and looked at Dutch, she didn’t want to make a big deal out of it all. 

“I mean he has but that’s probably just because I’ve been gone for such a long time...”, she hoped that her answer would silence the conversation but after a little while she discovered she was wrong. 

“He hasn’t been forward towards you?” 

“What do you mean?”, Hosea sighed, shaking his head. You could tell this was as uncomfortable for him as it was for you. 

“Look, if Dutch says or does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable then please come and find me.”, Cathryn looked back at Dutch and nodded. Hosea smiled, placing a hand on hers. “There! Now back to pleasant conversation.”, Cathryn smiled and nodded as they began to talk about all the wildlife that they passed on their way to Valentine. 

*** 

After riding through some forest near the edge of Valentine, they made it to a small clearing that was near a lake. It was beautiful, it was the perfect spot to lie low. After parking the wagon, the gang quickly made it their priority to set up camp, it was not too dissimilar to how it was near Blackwater but the wide-open space and soft grass made it seem more idyllic. Cathryn once again set up her station near Mary-Beth. 

“Now this feels like home!”, Mary-Beth sighed as she rolled onto the grass. Cathryn laughed, Mary-Beth was just a bit younger than herself. She was sweet and innocent, the life of an outlaw hadn’t changed her. Cathryn decided to lie down with her to look at the clouds. 

“That one looks like a bird...”, she said softly, Mary-Beth looked at her confused and then realised she was cloud watching and started to join in. 

“And that one is a rabbit!”, she point up to the sky. 

“Which one?” 

“That one! Can’t you see? He’s eating some grass!”, Cathryn turned her head closer to Mary-Beth and accidentally collided into her. The two jumped and started laughing. Cathryn kept her eyes shut, enjoying the feeling of the warm sun on her face until a dark shadow cast itself over her. She squinted her eyes and looked up, seeing Dutch towering over her. He sported a wide grin. 

“And what are you two lovely ladies doing?” 

“Cloud watching Dutch!”, Mary-Beth giggled, sitting up. Dutch nodded towards Mary-Beth then stared back at Cathryn who refused to sit up. 

“Well, I’m glad you two are enjoying yourselves. Cathryn, I was wondering if you wanted to accompany me to Valentine. I have a surprise for you.”, Cathryn raised an eyebrow and got up. Another surprise? 

“You don’t need to surprise me with anything Dutch...”, He shook his head, his hands faced towards her. 

“No, no. I insist.”, Cathryn looked to Mary-Beth who was trying to hide the smirk on her face before getting up and following Dutch to his horse. “Now, this is The Count...you two haven’t been properly introduced. He doesn’t like most people so don’t get offended if he gets funny...”, Cathryn slowly made her way to the count, hand out so that he could sniff her. 

“It’s okay...It’s okay...”, Cathryn whispered as she shuffled closer. The Count sniffed her for a moment and then nuzzled her palm. 

“Well look at that...you are very privileged my dear...”, Cathryn blushed and yelped in surprise as Dutch lifted her by the waist onto the Count. He then saddled himself, steering The Count into the forest and on the road to Valentine. It was a bumpy ride so Cathryn gripped onto Dutch tight. 

“So, what’s the surprise?”, Dutch laughed. 

“I realised that you didn’t have a horse...”, she was shocked, there were plenty of horses around camp. She didn’t need a new one. 

“I can just borrow one from camp...” 

“Nonsense! I’m buying you a horse and that’s final!” 

_“What do you think of him sweetheart?”, Cathryn looked at the smaller horse with curiosity. He was a dark brown colour with a black nose and a shy temperament. Dutch had picked out this horse especially for her, bringing him into camp on the anniversary of her arrival. She had always wanted a horse but had been content riding with Dutch or Hosea, it wasn’t like she went out anywhere on her own._

_“He’s perfect.”, she reached out and he pressed his nose into her hand, breathing heavily. She stroked up and down, which he definitely enjoyed by the way he kept pressing into her._

_“Then he’s all yours...”, Cathryn looked at Dutch, a huge smile on her face as he lifted her up onto the saddle._

_“Really?”, he nodded. Cathryn thought for a moment as she rode the horse around the perimeters of the camp. “I think I’ll call him Jasper...”, Dutch thought for a moment and nodded. Jasper was a good name._

As they made their way into Valentine, Dutch hitched The Count by the stables. He then jumped off and grabbed Cathryn’s hand to ensure she didn’t fall from the tall height. Both down on the ground, they made their way into the stables. There were about five horses for sale and Dutch looked at each one, analysing their temperament and strength. 

“Hello there, how can I help you Sir?”, the stable hand asked as made his way to Dutch. 

“I’m looking for a horse for this little one...”, he took Cathryn by the waist and brought her to his side. “Something with a sweet temperament, sturdy and not too big. She needs to be able to quickly get on and off without me lifting her all the time.”, Cathryn blushed. She always hated how small she was, she was sure many mistook her for a child from behind, she only just reached up to Dutch’s chest making her the smallest in the camp, not including Jack. 

“Of course, I think I have the perfect mare...”, the man showed them to the horse at the furthest end of the stable. It was a beautiful black mare, small but strong. “She’s a beauty, quite fast and still not fully grown. The perfect age for training...”, Cathryn could see Dutch nodding. He then looked at her to gauge her reaction. 

“She’s beautiful...”, Cathryn whispered, slowly walking to the horse and stroking her mane. Dutch smiled. 

“How much?” 

“I’m sure we can work something out.”, The two men then left Cathryn alone with the mare. She was entranced by her, grabbing the brush nearby to work out the knots in her mane. By the time she had finished she felt Dutch’s hands on her shoulder. 

“She’s all yours...”, Cathryn smiled. “What are you going to call her?” 

“Rosemary...”, Dutch nodded, staring at the horse. 

“Rosemary...”, he repeated. 

*** 

“Thank you Dutch, for everything...”, Cathryn said as they rode back into camp. Rosemary had been good the entire ride home, as if she had been riding with Cathryn a thousand times. 

“I only wish I could do more to make up for all the time we had lost...”, Cathryn looked at him and frowned. 

“Dutch, you know it wasn’t your fault, right? There was nothing you could have done.”, Dutch remained silent. “There were several times that I could have left the nunnery, I could have snuck out, it would have been easy. I was just too afraid...”, Dutch looked at her, his left eyebrow raised. 

“Why?”, Cathryn sighed, looking out over the sunset. 

“I was terrified that you no longer wanted me around, I felt like a failure. I spoke about you, to Sister Margaret, she...well...she solidated those beliefs and I...I just couldn’t risk it.”, Dutch looked at her intently. “Then the longer I waited the more terrified I was...”. Dutch stopped his horse, staring at Cathryn, she stopped hers too. 

“Then why did you come back?”, Cathryn looked down at her hands, holding them tightly. 

“I wasn’t going to, truthfully, but then...I realised I was safer...and happier when I was with you. That...I would be safer and happier...if I was alone. Anything was better than where I was...”, Dutch said nothing, he knew that Cathryn wasn’t telling him everything but he wouldn’t push it. She was strong enough to make her own mind on what she would tell him and when. He only hoped she would feel comfortable enough soon to tell him the whole story. They stared at each other a moment before Cathryn smiled. “We should be heading back, it’s almost nightfall...”, Dutch nodded and followed behind her, eyes wide open to keep her in his sight.


	10. First day of freedom

“Hey Cathryn, wanna come with us into town today?”, Tilly asked as she finished getting ready. Cathryn smiled, it was nice that there were more girls in this gang, she no longer felt so alone. Sure, she had company with the men and even Ms. Grimshaw but it wasn’t the same. 

“Yeah sure, I probably need to get back into the swing of things...”, It had been too long since Cathryn had tried to swindle anyone. She needed to show the gang that she was worthy to stay with them, she needed to show she could earn her keep. 

“It’ll be nice to see what Valentine has to offer.”, Karen remarked, winking at the other girls, they all laughed. Arthur overheard the commotion and decided to come over. 

“What are you fine ladies discussing at this hour?”, Karen smirked and walked over to him. 

“Uncles about to take us into Valentine, he needs supplies and we need to scope the area. Wanna join us?”, Arthur glanced at Cathryn who smiled in response. Well if she was going then he had to look out for her. 

“Sure!”, the girls cheered as they made their way to the wagon Uncle was setting up. 

“Does Dutch know you’re going out?”, Arthur asked casually, but Cathryn was shocked and mildly insulted by the question. What did Dutch have to do with any of it? None of the other girls had to ask. 

“He’s not my keeper Arthur.”, Arthur held his hands up in surrender. 

“Alright, alright. No need to get funny, I was just asking.”, Cathryn decided to defuse the tension 

“Yeah, well...there’s nothing to it...”, She climbed into the wagon as Arthur took up seat next to Uncle. “Thanks again Uncle for the ride.” 

“Don’t mention it girls, Valentine is the very embodiment of society, you ladies are gonna love it.”, Cathryn laughed, she hadn’t seen Uncle so awake since she got here. She’s surprised the gang hadn’t grown sick of his laziness; they must keep him around for a reason. As they rode through the trees Uncle shouted. “Well come on ladies! Sing us a song!”, Tilly laughed, her face red as she refused to sing but Karen took the lead. 

“I got a girl in Berryville, can’t be screwed ‘cause she’s too damn ill...”, Mary-beth joined in as she knew the song. 

“So I don’t go down there no more. There’s a blue horse lays outside her door.”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Come on Cathy...give us a verse...”, Arthur shouted, and she just laughed. She used to sing all the time for the gang when she was younger. But the thought of doing it in front of all these people was mildly terrifying. Still she went along with it. 

“Well, I got a girl in Valentine, likes to drink that fancy wine! The plumes in her hat were two feet tall...”, She sang the last word for a long time, to build the suspense for the punch-line “the crack in her pants paid for it all!”, the girls started to laugh and Cathryn could even hear Arthur and Uncle chortle. Mary-Beth started the next verse. 

“I got a girl in Berryville, can’t get it in her cause she won’t sit still! She kicks and squeals and farts and hollers but won’t take less than 7 dollars...”, once again the wagon erupted into laughter. Cathryn hadn’t laughed this much in a long time. Tilly finally mustered the courage to start her verse and everyone fell silent. 

“I got a girl across the lane...Shit! How did that one go again?”, Uncle shouted telling her to hurry as they were almost there. “Ah here we go. I got a girl across the lane with hair down there like a horses mane. I got a girl and she’s got a thing that fits my peter like a diamond ring!”, She barely finished as she began to laugh which just made everyone else the more jolly. This was going to be a good day. 

*** 

“So, we split up and meet back in half an hour. No more or we’ll assume there’s trouble. Got it?”, Karen said, everyone nodding in agreement and began to wander. 

“And where are you going Cathy?”, Cathryn sighed as she watched Arthur start to follow her. 

“I was going to take a look at the clothing store...you’ll be surprised how little they get looted...”, she started to make her way down the street. 

“Okay well maybe if I just...”, She groaned and looked back at him. 

“Look Arthur, I need to do this on my own. Why don’t you look out for the other girls huh?”, Arthur scowled, began to walk away then paced back. 

“I will be outside the store in ten minutes.”, Cathryn smiled, she was finally alone and almost skipped to the shop ready to see what she could find. As she walked through, she was greeted by a fine gentleman wearing a suit. Cathryn smiled sweetly; she knew this was a good place. 

“Well hello Miss?” 

“Blanchard...” 

“Hello Miss Blanchard, what can I do for you today?”, Cathryn walked in slowly, surveying the room. Trying to look like a curious customer. 

“I’m new in town and I was just wondering what fashion best suits the people of Valentine, it changes everywhere I go you see. Sometimes the most inappropriate things in one place are highly common in another.”, the store clerk nodded in agreement and brought out the women’s catalogue. 

“It’s not too eccentric Miss Blanchard but one can never be too under-dressed.” 

“Do you have fabric swatches?”, she decided she was going down the wealthy lady route, he would be less suspicious of her then. 

“Why of course...They’re in the back, I’ll show you.”, Cathryn nodded in thanks and was led into the store room. From here she could see furs, jewelry and fabrics that could be sold for a good price. It shouldn’t be hard to swipe a few in her pockets if she purchased something, she wanted some trousers anyway for hunting. She looked at a particular stack of fabrics when she began to feel unnerved. The store clerk was not only watching her like a hawk but coming closer. 

“These fabrics are good, do you have any trousers in stock?”, Cathryn tried to hide the tremble in her voice but as the man walked closer with a dangerous glint in his eyes she knew she needed to get out of there. 

“I can see what I can do Miss Blanchard...in fact, I’m willing to offer you them free of charge as you’re a first-time customer.”, She knew there was a catch, and the catch was between his legs. She needed to get out there now, she had no weapon. “How about you strip from your clothing and I can take your measurements...”, Cathryn waited till he got closer and with full force she lifted her knee to come in contact with his groin. As he knelt in pain she grabbed his jacket and slammed his head into the shelves she was near. She had to get out of here, but she wouldn’t go empty handed. She grabbed some of the jewelry off the stand and stuffed them into her pockets as she watched him get up. She went to run out the door but a hand grabbed her by the hair to pull her back. 

“Get the fuck off me!”, He threw her onto one of the desks and placed his weight on her back to keep her down. 

“You little bitch...when I’m done no one will want you!”, Cathryn looked around and spotted a lamp on the side, she grabbed it by the base quickly and slammed it into his head, the glass shattering on impact. The man went limp and fell to the floor, releasing her. Cathryn panted as she looked at the store clerk, she saw his chest moving, he was still alive. All of a sudden she heard the door swing open, she tried to hide in one of the changing stalls but was relieved to see the intruder was Arthur. He looked at the mess on the floor and the unconscious store clerk. 

“What the fuck happened? Did he see you?”, he ran over to her, holding her tight and checking to see if she was injured. 

“No, no. He was just some pig who wouldn’t take no for an answer.”, Arthur groaned, pacing back and forth. “Look, let’s just grab some shit and get out of here...”, Arthur nodded and looted the store room while Cathryn handled the cash register. She was about to leave when she remembered to grab some pants. Arthur rolled his eyes as he opened the door for her. Everyone else was back at the wagon. 

“What took you so long?” 

“Things got a bit heated but it’s okay...”, she heard Arthur huff in frustration and she stayed silent for the rest of the journey home. 

*** 

Everyone else got out the wagon when they got back to camp but Cathryn decided to follow Arthur. God help her if he decided to tell Dutch what happened. 

“Arthur, Arthur stop!” 

“What is it Cathryn?”, Cathryn sighed, she knew she had done wrong when Arthur called her by her first name. 

“It wasn’t my fault what happened, it was just some bad luck. If you tell Dutch he won’t let me out again...”, Arthur grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to a quiet corner of the camp. 

“How is that my problem?” 

It’s not! I just...look...I’ve had such a great day today. Other than the store clerk trying to attack me it was fun, I felt free. You know what Dutch is like...”, Arthur started shaking his head. 

“He’s not like that though Cathy! He is to you but everyone else? If the same happened to Karen or Tilly it wouldn’t matter, he would brush them back up and get them back out there again. With you it’s different...” 

“I don’t want to be different! I want the same treatment...”, he had to understand, she was just as confused by Dutch as he was. 

“The world don’t work like that Cathy! Dutch won’t ever treat you the same, not even if you begged him to. Look I don’t know what’s going on but I know when to back off when it comes to Dutch, I know when to step back, everyone does. From the moment you arrived, no one has given you any trouble, not even Micah! That says something Cathy...”, Cathryn put her head between her hands and started to pace, she can’t cry, if Dutch saw her it would end badly. Arthur sighed. “Look, this one time I won’t tell Dutch okay? You scored well, you handled him like a professional, the other stuff doesn’t matter.”, Cathryn lifted her head from her hands to stare at Arthur, tears brimming her eyes. 

“Thank you, Arthur...”, he nodded and walked over to her, bringing her into his arms. 

“I’m too soft on you, you know that right?”, Cathryn mustered a laugh and held onto him tightly. 

“I know Arthur...I know.”


	11. Target Practice

Cathryn woke up the next morning and went about her chores as usual, it was nice to be back with Ms. Grimshaw in a way. She was more strict and cruel than Cathryn remembered, but she knew there was love deep down. 

“Honestly, it’s worse than before, the men in this camp are like pigs. If you suspect there is mushroom growing behind their ears just tell me and I’ll drag them to the bath tub and wash them like the dogs they are!”, Cathryn laughed. It was quiet moments like this that she enjoyed with Ms. Grimshaw, when the other girls were around she put up more of a front. She had even seen her slap Tilly and Mary-Beth once or twice. It wasn’t like her but then maybe a lot had happened since she went away. “Well would you look at that...”, Cathryn looked up to see Arthur limping into camp with blood around his face and his clothes covered in mud. Cathryn ran over to see if he was okay. 

“Arthur! Look at you! What happened?”, Arthur tried to laugh but you could tell that it was hurting him. 

“Just got into a bit of a fight at the Saloon...”, he went to sit down on his bed and Cathryn followed. 

“Why the hell did you do that?”, Arthur shrugged. 

“He was trying to act all tough and...hell you know how it is when men have too much to drink...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Stay right there...”, Cathryn then got up to fetch some medical supplies when she bumped into Molly. “Oh Molly! Hi! I haven’t seen you around in a while...”, Molly looked her up and down, she refused to smile, it must be to do with Dutch. 

“Want me gone huh?”, Cathryn laughed at the response in disbelief and looked at Molly with her hands on her hips. 

“Molly what are you on about? I was just saying I haven’t seen you in a few days...” 

“I can tell! The way you got your claws into Dutch! He’s mine, you hear!”, Cathryn stepped back as if Molly was spitting venom with her Irish accent, her hands up in surrender. 

“I know Molly, you can have him! Look, I can’t be dealing with this right now. I’m looking after Arthur...”, Molly laughed, though Cathryn knew it was out of spite more than any other emotion. 

“God, look at you! Acting all innocent like I don’t know what you’re doing! Well I’m not falling for it anymore...”, and with that she stormed off into Dutch’s tent. Cathryn sighed and rested her head in her hands. She tried with Molly, she thought she made great progress but Molly was becoming unhinged and Dutch wasn’t helping anything. Cathryn nodded to herself, she would stay away from Dutch. As much as she could. She then picked up the medical supplies and went back to Arthur. 

“That sounded fun...”, he commented. Cathryn glared at him and examined his face. “What are you gonna do?” 

“What do you mean?”, He laughed but then winced as Cathryn touched the marks on his face. 

“Well, she ain’t gonna back down. She’ll keep digging at Dutch to get rid of you...”, Cathryn frowned. 

“And you think that’s gonna happen?”, Arthur shook his head. 

“Honestly, he’ll be rid of her before you.”, Cathryn sighed as she finished cleaning his face. “Don’t be like that. You tried with Molly, but whether she likes it or not...”, He took Cathryn’s face by the chin to look at him. “Whether you like it or not...Dutch has his own mind. He wants what he wants...” 

“It’s not like that...” 

“You know it is...you’re not stupid!”, Cathryn looked back at the camp, to Dutch’s tent in particular. 

“It’s just easier this way, I hope that if I just ignore it, it will go away.” 

“But it won’t...”, Cathryn frowned and looked back at Arthur. 

“It’s just...these past eight years I’ve been dreaming of what I would come back to. In some ways it’s better but in other ways it’s just...well it’s unexpected. And I see Molly and I worry...I don’t want to end up like Molly...”, Arthur grunted to himself. 

“Like hell we would let you end up like Molly.”, Cathryn smiled, she always loved how protective Arthur was of her, even how John was nearer the end. “Look Dutch isn’t himself, I have never seen him with another woman like I have with you...and you aren’t even together...not even close. Apparently, he talks all the time about you...”, Cathryn blushed. She wondered what it would be like if her and Dutch were to start something but then shook her head. No, she refused to let it happen. 

“Well it will just have to stay that way...”, Arthur smirked. 

“Dutch hates being told no...”, Cathryn slapped Arthurs head causing him to groan in pain. 

“Dutch can go fuck himself...”, Arthurs eyes widened at the statement and then laughed hard. 

“God I’ve missed you Cathy...” 

*** 

Cathryn walked past the O’Driscoll hostage, Kieran, who had been tied to a post. He was being interrogated by Arthur and it wasn’t long until Dutch and Bill Williamson joined in. 

“So are you ready to talk boy?” Bill questioned while Cathryn leaned against a post ready to watch. 

“Please I already told you...I told you mister...I don’t know nothing! They were no friends of mine!”, Cathryn stared at the boy and could tell instantly that he was telling the truth, he was just a scared young man. He had no reason to lie, especially in such a dangerous situation. 

“Bullshit! You see...we’ve already heard that part! So, go tell us the truth!”, Cathryn rolled her eyes, at Bills attempt to dominate the poor boy. “Dutch what do you want to do?” 

“Hurt him. So the next time he opens his mouth he can tell us what’s going on...”, Cathryn raised her eyes at Dutch’s decision but there was no stopping the man. She watched him get closer to the boy so much that Kieran flinched. “Ahh, who am I kidding? One of the O’Driscoll boys couldn’t open his mouth but he’d tell a lie...Screw it...Let’s have some fun.”, he then turned to Bill Williamson with a smirk on his face. “Geld him.”, Bill ran off with a spring in his step and Dutch noticed Cathryn staring at the scene in front of her. Immediately she saw a shift in his character, he was ready to put on a show but whether it would impress Cathryn was another story. 

“What are you gonna do?”, Kieran asked, the tremble in his voice apparent. 

“Oh don’t worry! They’re only balls boy! You know, in Imperial Rome, Eunuchs were among the happiest and most loyal of courtiers...”, Cathryn watched as Kieran started to sweat, he was stumbling on his words, begging Dutch to stop. It felt so barbaric. “Now the thing is you are going to talk...but whether it’s before or after we chop these little fellers off is up to you!”, Kieran started to cry as Bill pretended to snap off his balls with the shears. Cathryn had had enough. 

“Talk!”, She shouted as she walked up to them. Arthur and Bill jumped back as they had no idea she’d been watching them. She looked Kieran straight in the eye. “Talk or they’ll do it. I’ve seen it before, it wasn’t pretty. I don’t want them doing it to you too...”, Dutch smirked at the act. Cathryn had never seen them geld a man but Kieran didn’t have to know that. If it would stop his torture then that’s all that mattered. Kieran looked at her and nodded. 

“Okay okay...he’s at six point cabin...I can take you there...”, Dutch nodded to Arthur 

“Well let’s head up there right now...Cathryn you coming?”, Cathryn nodded, she needed more shooting practice anyway, didn’t matter that it was the O’Driscolls. Arthur untied Kieran and took him to his horse while Bill put away the shears. Cathryn went to get on Rosemary when Dutch pulled her tightly to his side, his arm enveloping her waist and spoke softly in her ear. 

“Well done sweetheart...You had him singing like a canary...”, Cathryn blushed at how close they were, especially in public. She didn’t want anyone to see. 

“Yeah? Well I just didn’t wanna clean the mess up.”, Dutch’s eye twitched. “We best be going.”, Cathryn grabbed his hand and pulled it off her waist. She walked over to Rosemary without another word, unaware of scowl directed at her back. 

*** 

“Okay, they’re just over this hill...”, Kieran said to Arthur in hushed tones. Arthur nodded and jumped off his horse, Cathryn followed as did the rest of the gang. She had allowed the other men to continue to taunt Kieran about gelding his balls off, glad that Dutch decided to let her go alone. John has also joined in, wanting to get out for the first time since his bear attack. 

“Stay close O’Driscoll, I’m watching you...” John threatened as Kieran led them up the side of the hill. 

“Please...if I left now it would be suicide...”, Kieran remarked. Cathryn smirked; she liked the dry humour of this guy. “Okay get down...”, everyone crouched as they reached the peak of the hill. “There’ll be a bunch of them hiding throughout these trees before we get to the camp. They’ll be armed, drunk and ready to shoot anything.” 

“Is Colm O’Driscoll there?” Cathryn asked. 

“If he is, he’ll be holed up in his cabin. Probably passed out from being boozed blind...”, Cathryn nodded. If they could take out Colm everything would be easier. Just then the gang heard three O’Driscolls make their way towards camp. Arthur placed his finger to his lips and John grabbed Kieran by the mouth and put a gun to his head to keep him silent. 

“Wanna take out this first feller?”, Arthur asked Cathryn, she smiled and took out her bow. Aiming it at the neck of the man who was taking a piss on a nearby tree. The other two were further into camp, not looking. She drew in, then on her breath out she released the arrow and it pierced the back of his neck, through his Adams apple. Cathryn grinned as Bill patted her on the back. “Good one Cathy...Bill, how about we take out the other two?”, Bill nodded as they crept up on the pair, before stabbing them in the neck simultaneously. The rest of the gang moved forward into the trees. 

“I left our guide back up the hill, don’t worry he’s meek as a little lamb...”, John said as they made their way to the camp. Cathryn nodded, she knew Kieran wouldn’t be a problem. “I’ll take the guy on the log...”, John said as he crept to silently take out the final O’Driscoll guard. Arthur came towards Cathryn and gave her a revolver. 

“It’ll be quicker than a shotgun or arrow...”, Cathryn smiled and thanked him as they heard John give the signal. It was show time. They ran to find cover, Cathryn took to one of the boulders on the outskirts of the camp and looked to Arthur for his orders. When she saw it she immediately took fire onto the closest O’Driscoll to her. She missed the first couple of shots, firing at the shoulder and arms but then immediately got used to the gun and managed to take more headshots. The O’Driscolls had no idea what was happening and within moments they had been all wiped out. 

“I’ll check the cabin!”, Bill said as he stormed into the camp. Bill opened the cabin door and was ambushed by a man with a shotgun, he fell to the floor but as the O’Driscoll was about to shoot, a bullet went through his head. Bill looked to his left and saw Kieran standing there, aiming his gun. Cathryn smiled. “Thanks, I guess...”, Bill said as he got himself up. He looked into the cabin and when he realised Colm O’Driscoll wasn’t inside he stormed over to Keiran. “You set us up! He ain’t here! You rat!”, Kieran started to mumble and beg, Cathryn knew he has no idea Colm would be gone and grabbed Bill by the shoulder. 

“Hey, if he was going to betray us he wouldn’t have saved your life. He must have left a day or so ago...”, Bill stared at Cathryn then turned his head to Kieran, growling and storming off. 

“Go on then, get lost.”, Arthur said to Kieran, waving him off with his hand. 

“No way! I’m as good as dead out there! Colm ain’t gonna be happy when he sees what you’ve done! Please, let me stay with you. I saved him, I’m one of you now.”, Arthur thought for a moment, looking to Cathryn who nodded. 

“Fine! But I’m keeping an eye on you! Let’s go...” 

“Wait!”, Kieran shouted. “You at least got the cash right? It’s in the chimney!”, Cathryn made her way into the cabin, rooting around under the chimney until she managed to grab what she assumed to be money. She pulled it out and did a quick count. $600. The boys would be happy to see this.


	12. The Green-Eyed Monster

Around a week or so after Cathryn had travelled to six-point cabin she was starting to feel good about herself. She had managed to evade Dutch as much as possible and Molly was no longer glaring at her in the camp. The boys had also come to accept her as one of their own, especially with how well she was hunting at the moment. The only problems that had arisen were Micah’s arrest in Strawberry, Dutch was devising a plan to get him out but no one seemed in a rush to save him. There were also plans to rescue Sean brewing as his whereabouts became known. At the moment, Cathryn was trying to sew a patch onto one of Javier’s shirts, peacefully unaware of the gossip surrounding her. 

“Oh look, there it is again...”, Cathryn whipped her head around to see the other girls smiling at her. They had all become quite close now but she still wasn’t used to the teasing. 

“There’s what?”, the girls all laughed as if it was obvious to see. 

“Dutch? He’s staring at you again...”, Tilly teased but as Cathryn whipped her head around to Dutch, who was reading outside his tent, she found his eyes were on his book. 

“No he’s not...”, The girls all looked at each other and then back at Cathryn, who suddenly felt incredibly small. 

“Girl, you’re blind. He’s constantly staring at you, when you aren’t looking...”, Cathryn sighed and went back to her needlework. “when was the last time you spoke to him?” 

“About a week ago...”, Karen raised her eyebrows in shock. 

“How have you managed that? Did you have an argument?”, Cathryn shook her head, why was it any of these girl's business? She had spent so much time trying to keep away from Dutch she would have hoped people would leave her alone. “Well, what are you going to do?” 

“What do you mean?”, by this point Cathryn had given up with Javier’s shirt and threw it to the floor, so much for distractions. Karen sighed like she was talking to a toddler. 

“Are you gonna get with Dutch or not? Everyone’s wondering!” 

“There’s nothing going on between me and Dutch!” 

“You may not think so...but he does and so does everyone else...”, Cathryn threw her head in her hands. She was having enough of this gossip. Sure, there was a part of her that knew what they were saying was true, and an even smaller part that wondered what it would be like but there were so many alarm bells going off. She had always seen Dutch as a father figure, it would be strange but it could also ruin everything. She didn’t want to end up like Molly and she didn’t want to be a replacement for Annabelle. All she wanted was someone who wanted her for her, someone who wouldn’t leave, someone who wouldn’t let her go. The girls could see her frustration and watched her intently. “How about a wager? This had obviously been playing on your mind.”, Cathryn looked up at Karen. 

“What kind of wager?” 

“It will be a very innocent one but it will ease your mind once and for all about this whole situation. It will also be very entertaining!”, Cathryn raised one of her eyebrows and Karen continued, moving closer, the rest of the girls followed. “You’re going to go up to Charles and ask him to take you out, maybe to learn how to track, if Dutch stops you or refuses to let you go then he wants you. If he doesn’t then maybe we’re all wrong!”, the girls looked at each other in amusement. 

“Why Charles?”, Cathryn asked, she hadn’t spoken to him properly on his own before. 

“Because, Charles is probably the most honorable person here and he’s completely loyal to Dutch. There is no reason why Dutch should care if you go off with him...”, Cathryn sighed. 

“Then why would he care?” 

“Just do it!”, Karen said, throwing some cloth at Cathryn’s face. She put her hands up to surrender and stood up. The girls watched with bated breath as they saw Cathryn walk past Dutch’s tent to the firepit where Charles was sat. Cathryn had no idea that the moment she walked past Dutch his eyes were on her. 

“Hey Charles!”, she said as she sat down next to him. “Good day to go hunting right?”, Charles looked at her, uncertain why she was talking to him but nodded all the same. 

“Yes, not much wind but quite light out...why do you ask?”, Cathryn smiled, trying to seem genuine in her asking but also trying not to turn around to see Dutch’s reaction. 

“I was wondering if you could help me with tracking? I’m not so bad when I find prey and hunt them but it’s finding them in the first place that I’m struggling with.”, Charles thought for a moment and nodded. 

“Yeah sure! When did you wanna go?”, Cathryn smiled and shrugged her arms. 

“How about now?”, Charles nodded and stood up, Cathryn following behind him. They were walking past Dutch’s tent, Cathryn believing that they would make it to the horses until they heard his voice. 

“Ahh, Mr Smith...”, Charles and Cathryn stopped to face him. She could practically hear the girls laughing. “Where are you running off to?” 

“Cathryn wanted me to teach her how to track.”, Dutch looked at Cathryn who just smiled innocently. He looked back at Charles. 

“That’ll have to wait...I hear there are some stagecoaches passing near Valentine that may be worth looking into and all my other guys are quite busy...”, Charles seemed confused. 

“What about John and Hosea?” 

“John is still recovering; I don’t want to overwork him too much. And Hosea, well, he keeps talking about catching some bear...”, Dutch sauntered closer to Charles, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I think you better get a move on son...”, Charles looked at Dutch’s hand and then to Cathryn. He nodded. 

“Maybe some other time Cathryn...”, she thought for a moment and smiled, she couldn’t lose this wager. 

“I could go with you...” 

“No.”, Dutch said before Charles could even respond. His words were final but before Cathryn could retaliate Charles stepped between them. 

“It’s alright Cathryn. I’ve got this.”, He looked at her as if to warn her. She didn’t want to go up against Dutch in public, he only had so much patience. Cathryn sighed and nodded, waiting for Charles to leave and then glared at Dutch. 

“What was that?” 

“I don’t know what you mean.”, Dutch lied as he moved closer. 

“I’m not stupid Dutch. Stop playing games...”, before he could even utter another word she stormed off towards the tent she shared with the girls. As soon as she reached them she said “There! You happy?” before taking the rest of the day off. 

*** 

As dusk started to fall Cathryn had decided she needed to go hunting, needed to get her mind off Dutch. Everyone was right, Dutch did want her, and she couldn’t keep holding him back or it would drive them both mad. She was also beginning to feel terribly about Molly, she knew all along, and now Cathryn looked like the villain in the story. She sighed and tied her hair back, opening the tent to hear loads of people cheering. She walked towards the entrance to see Arthur and Hosea with the biggest bear she had ever seen. 

“Would you look at that!”, Mr Pearson exclaimed as he examined the animal. Hosea looked tired but when Cathryn saw Arthurs cuts she ran over to him. 

“Arthur! What am I going to do with you? Do you enjoy this?”, Arthur laughed. 

“A little...”, then he winced. “but maybe not as much as I used to...” 

“Come on, I’ll get you cleaned up.”, She walked over to the medical resources, picking up some supplies and taking them to Arthurs bed. She gestured for him to sit down which he obliged without question. “I’m surprised you aren’t dead given the size of that thing...”, Cathryn had never managed to kill a bear before, thankfully she never ran into them. 

“It was a beast, got a few swipes at me before I put him down.”, Cathryn smiled. 

“Mr Pearson is going to name you a legend if you keep bringing him stuff like this!”, Arthur rolled his eyes. “And before long everyone in the whole of America will know your name! Oh my! It’s Mr. Arthur Morgan!”, Her voice went high as she impersonated all the young females fawning over him. Arthur started to chuckle. “And before you know it, the whole world will know your name! And there will be little old me, still in this camp, telling all the young children how I knew you when you couldn’t properly shoot a deer without destroying its pelt...”, Arthur laughed. 

“That was one time!” 

“That was every time.”, She corrected and the two smiled at each other. For some reason it felt oddly intimate, they were always close but at this moment in time it was like there was no one else around them. She looked down quickly, hoping to hide the blush that was blooming. Arthur also coughed and looked away. 

“Maybe I’ll take you along with me on a hunting trip. Hosea told me of some other animal locations, apparently they’re quite rare and can catch a fair price.”, Cathryn nodded. She would like that. 

“There...all done.”, Cathryn looked at him, he was all clean and the cuts were starting to heal with the ointment she placed on them, they stared at each other again, Arthur clearly wanting to say something when he looked up, Cathryn followed his gaze, it was Dutch. 

“Thank you for caring for Mr. Morgan my dear. You ought to be careful Arthur, no girl will want you if you end up with a torn face like Johns!”, Arthur smiled as did Cathryn, there was a moment of silence between the three. “Would you excuse me Cathy? I need to speak with Arthur alone.”, Cathryn nodded and stood up, leaving Arthurs space but not rushing off to quickly. There was something off with those two and she didn’t want to remain in the dark. So she went behind Arthurs space to the lake, lying on the slope, close enough to hear their conversation. 

“What do you need Dutch?” 

“I just wanted to say congratulations on the kill, it was impressive, Hosea told me how proud he was of you. Apparently, you saved his life!”, the conversation seemed fairly jovial, maybe there was nothing to worry about. 

“Thanks, Hosea is too modest...”, there was silence. 

“So, you and Cathryn seem to have caught up quite well. I’m glad she’s feeling at home, going from no one to a huge group of people is probably hard.”, there was more silence. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong Arthur...just feels like she’s trying to get away from me. And you two, well, you’re thick as thieves. You’re not going sweet on her are you Arthur?”, Cathryn was surprised by the question. Did Dutch really ask that? The tone seemed light-hearted but she could tell there was something not quite right with the question. 

“Of course not Dutch. I think she’s just overwhelmed by it all, and careful of what other people may think of her. She just wants to fit in.”, there was more silence, it was becoming unnerving. 

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. I had been wondering for a while, wondering if she’d stolen your heart from Miss Mary Linton. Such a shame. She even sent this letter to you; I didn’t know you were still in contact.”, Mary Linton? Cathryn remembered her well. She was always so sweet but she broke Arthur completely. 

“We weren't...” Arthur replied, his voice slow and confused. 

“Well then, I can see that maybe she changed her mind. Go to her Arthur, I insist...there’s no reason for you not to. There’s no one holding you back.” 

“Yeah, Dutch. Of course.”


	13. Eruption

Cathryn hardly slept that night, the conversation between Dutch and Arthur going through her head. So when she got up the next morning she was in the worst mood and not interested in anymore of the games people were playing with her. She saw Arthur was about to saddle his horse and she walked up to him. 

“Hey Arthur, where are you going?”, Arthur looked uncomfortable but he stayed curt and polite. 

“Rescuing Micah from his prison cell.”, Cathryn nodded as the two stared at each other in silence. Cathryn decided to go in for the kill. 

“What did Dutch wanna talk to you about?”, Arthur looked confused. 

“Dutch?”, Cathryn groaned, he wasn’t going to make this easy. 

“Don’t act dumb Arthur, I was there when he asked to talk to you.”, she saw Arthurs jaw clench. 

“Nothing really, just wanted to congratulate me on the bear...”, Cathryn rolled her eyes and walked closer to Arthur, he towered over her but to anyone else it would look like he was more intimidated by her. 

“Arthur Morgan! Don’t lie, I heard most of it last night! Did Dutch threaten you or was he just curious...”, Arthur stayed silent, staring at her. Well, that was her answer. She groaned in frustration and stormed her way over to Dutch’s tent. 

“Cathryn no!”, but she no longer cared and aggressively opened the tent flap, caring little for the prying eyes in the camp. 

“Dutch. We need to talk.”, Dutch was sat on the bed reading with Molly on a chair, seemingly doing nothing. 

“What happened to privacy? Get out!”, Molly shouted but Dutch raised his hand to silence her. She scoffed in frustration. 

“Molly, I need to speak to Dutch alone.”, Molly opened her mouth in shock, staring at Dutch who just nodded at her. 

“Fuck you Cathryn. And fuck you Dutch!”, she screamed before shoving Cathryn to the side and leaving the tent, Cathryn didn’t really care though. She was past caring at this point. 

“What did you want to talk about?”, Dutch asked as if Molly hadn’t just screamed insults at them whilst leaving the tent. 

“Your behavior.”, Dutch chuckled, shaking his head. But that only added fuel to her anger. “Don’t fucking laugh at me Dutch. I’ve had enough.”, Dutch’s laugh began to fade as he stared at her with curiosity, she couldn’t tell whether he was angry or impressed by her outburst. 

“Please...tell me what I’ve done wrong...”, He leaned back on the bed, his head tilted to the right. 

“I am not your pet, Dutch. I am not your puppet. I am sick of being told who I can and can’t speak to. I tolerated it when I came here but now it’s gone too far!”, He didn’t seem phased by her rant at all. “I don’t know where this side of you has come from but it is done. I don’t care what you want, if you want to pursue me then be my guest but if you think for one moment that I will lay down and submit just because you own this camp then you have another thing coming!”, she watched as a glint passed his eye, more curious, he leaned forward clutching his hands. “I thought you stood for freedom and independence, but what difference is it being with you and being out there if you demand to be my master? Let me tell you, there is none! If I do submit, it will be willingly. Got that?”, He thought for a moment then nodded. She stood, staring at him for a moment, her anger slowly leaving her body. “Good. Now, I’m going to fetch Micah with Arthur, I’ll see you when I get back.”, without another word she left the tent and strode past Arthur, getting on her horse, waiting for him to get past his shock and follow her. 

*** 

As they rode into Strawberry, not a word said between them, Cathryn hoped to break the ice. 

“So, reckon my bags are packed when I get back?”, Arthur shook his head. 

“Nah, I’m surprised he didn’t shout at you though. Don’t think I’ve ever gotten away with calling him out like that...”, Cathryn frowned. Dutch needed someone to keep him in check, Hosea could only do so much. 

“Well someone had to...”, Arthur nodded. “Hopefully it means he’ll leave me alone...” 

“Ahh, I doubt it. Dutch has never been one to let anything go...”, Cathryn frowned but then shook her head. There was no point in worrying about this kind of stuff now, they had a mission. 

“So...how are we getting Micah out?” 

“He’s been arrested in the local prison, we’re gonna try the diplomatic way out first and then if not...well we’ll see...”, Cathryn nodded, they were almost there now. 

“Seems like nobody really cares to have him back...”, almost everyone Cathryn had met in the gang spoke down on Micah, she remembered the look he gave her on her first night here. It was unsettling but she never had much of an issue with him. 

“He’s just not a very nice guy, I mean most of us aren’t but well...he’s just worse. Surprised you’ve not had a run in with him yet. Dutch must be keeping him on a tight leash.” 

“I guess that’s one pro for being with Dutch...”, Arthur looked at her surprised and some kind of disappointment. 

“You actually going to go through with it?”, Cathryn looked at him and frowned. 

“Maybe, I don’t know. I mean he’s an attractive man and he’s always been kind to me, I just have a lot of reservations, but most women do I guess...”, first of all Dutch would have to allow her more freedom and then maybe she would need some reassurance that she wasn’t just going to end up like Molly. Annabelle kept floating around her head as well. 

“I guess...it’s just strange...” 

“You have any objections Mr Morgan?”, She stopped the horse, looking at him, hoping he would say what he really wanted to say. He thought about it. 

“No, none. You should be free to make your own choices.”, Cathryn smiled at him, he understood. They kept going till they reached Strawberry prison. It was a sweet town, Cathryn remembered passing through a year ago. “Okay, you go in there and try to get him out, send a signal if there’s any trouble.”, Cathryn nodded as she jumped off Rosemary, making her way in the Prison. There were two officers inside. 

“Hi Gentleman. My name is Katie Blanchard, I heard that you have a Mr. Micah Bell locked up in this prison?”, the officers looked at each other, Cathryn already doubted this would work. 

“Yes we do ma’am, it will be a safer world once he’s hanged.”, Cathryn smiled, as if to agree with the officers. 

“I’m in league with the Pinkerton agency...they wanted me to take Mr. Bell due to his involvement with Blackwater.”, the Sheriff smirked and leaned back in his chair. 

“Didn’t know Pinkertons usually hire women?”, keep smiling, Cathryn thought. She had no idea if the Pinkertons hired women. 

“They don’t usually, but Mr. Bell is a sensitive case. They’re worried that if he stays around too long in Strawberry, his old gang will come and find him. We don’t want a blood bath gentleman. I’m here to escort him to the Pinkertons, it’s discrete, no gang ever suspects a woman.”, the two officers looked at each other. 

“You have any paperwork Miss?”, Cathryn gritted her teeth. 

“No I don’t, I just do what they tell me alright?”, the Sheriff stood up and walked over to Cathryn slowly. 

“No need to be rude Miss Blanchard, the thing is, I understand what the Pinkertons are doing but we are the law in Strawberry. We decide what we will do with him, if the Pinkertons wanted him then they should have caught him first. Good day Miss.”, Cathryn sighed and went to walk out, she looked out the window seeing Arthur and mouthed ‘no’ to him. Arthur nodded and went round the back of the prison, he was going to get Micah out one way or another but he needed a distraction. She whipped back round to the Sheriff. 

“Do you really want to make an enemy of the Pinkertons Sir?”, The officer smirked. 

“We both want the same thing Miss, I hardly see how they would view me as an enemy.” 

“Micah Bell is to be hanged correct? He is the biggest lead they possibly have to the Van Der Linde gang. The one that caused the Blackwater massacre. If he is executed they have no lead and they run free, if he gets away then that’s one more criminal on the street.”, the officer looked more worried as she went on. “If that happened Sheriff...”, she stalked closer to him. “you would be solely responsible for refusing his transfer...”, before another word could be spoken there was a loud crash, Cathryn's feet shaking. Arthur must have broken him out in the literal sense. To rub it in the Sheriffs face she looked at him with anger. “Now look what you’ve done.” 

Screams and the sound of gunshots outside alerted to Cathryn that she needed to get away. She rushed out of the Prison with the officers and just missed a bullet. It was fucking Micah. She ran to Rosemary who was slightly startled by the gunfire and jumped on, tilting her head to Arthur to get the hell out of Strawberry. He nodded, shouting at Micah and the two ran out of town, Cathryn went through the other exit, knowing exactly where they were to meet up. 

*** 

“That was fun!” Micah shouted as they managed to get out of sight. 

“You nearly fucking shot me!”, Cathryn shouted as she stormed up to the two men. Micah smirked. 

“I didn’t though!”, Cathryn grunted, know she knew why everyone hated Micah. 

“Fuck, that was a lot of people...”, Arthur groaned, rubbing his eyes with his hand. 

“Getting old now cowpoke?”, Micah teased. “That wasn’t that bad...”, Cathryn got back onto Rosemary. 

“The dead bodies on the ground would say otherwise...”, Micah rolled his eyes, glaring at her. 

“Well it’s not like your little seduction mission worked now did it?” 

“I wasn’t trying to seduce them! And by the time Arthur had blown you out they were pretty much begging to let me take you.” 

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say Cathy...”, Cathryn froze, she hated people calling her that unless she was good friends with them. Arthur could see the frustration as well, he just needed to get both of them back to camp before they killed each other.


	14. Celebrations

As Cathryn expected, Micah didn’t receive the welcome home that he wished for. People would just nod at him and be about their way, Cathryn wondered why Dutch was happy to have Micah here if this was the reaction after he escaped from prison. It would be a red flag to her straight away. As she sat in the grass, eating her stew, she overheard the voices of John and Abigail, arguing once again about Johns involvement with the gang. Cathryn didn’t truly understand, John had been with them since he was a boy, and Abigail is able to care for Jack because of the gang, she knew it was dangerous but surely she would be a bit more grateful. Cathryn thought for a moment, she should probably be quieter lest the gang catch wind of her outward distain for the life she lived. 

“You listen to me John Marston! I don’t want you going out there!” 

“We have to eat Abigail! You want Jack to go hungry?”, Abigail huffed. 

“Of course not! But why do you have to do it?” 

“Abigail! I have to do this; I’ve been off work for too long. I’m going crazy!”, She heard silence and then saw Abigail storm off in the other direction. John sighed and came out from the trees, his eyes immediately at Cathryn who had to have heard everything. He looked tired. 

“Evening...”, Cathryn said, raising her bowl of stew but it just made things more awkward. 

“You heard that huh?”, John asked as he slumped down next to Cathryn, serving his own portion of stew. 

“Not really...” Cathryn lied; John glared at her. “Okay...maybe most of it.” 

“You’re a shit liar you know? Always have been!”, Cathryn threw her hands up in surrender. 

“Woah! What the fuck have I done to deserve this?”, John shook his head. She knew he didn’t mean anything by it, it took her over a year to realise his temper was often not reflective of his actual mood. John was a straight talker, there was no bullshit with him. It made him cold, but you could trust every word he said. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just I love Abigail, and I’m trying to be a good father, but this is my life. I shouldn’t have to choose...”, Cathryn frowned. 

“I don’t think she’s trying to make you choose. I think she’s just scared that you’ll leave again...” 

“Arthur told you?”, Cathryn nodded and John sighed, cradling his head in his hands. “It was the worst mistake of my life, I won’t leave them again, not ever. I would do anything for them.”, Cathryn smiled. She was proud of John, proud of what he has achieved, she believed with every fiber of her being that he would never leave Abigail and Jack. 

“What about this mission?” 

“One of the girls learned of a train passing through here, lots of wealthy passengers. We’ve been preparing this heist for a while, it’s all set up and the train comes tonight. Arthur managed to get an oil carrier hidden away so me, Charles and Lenny are going to cover the tracks in oil, stopping the train, and find ourselves a lot of money.”, Cathryn smiled as she nodded her head, it was a good plan. “Do you wanna come with us?” 

“Sure! Sounds like fun!”, John nodded his head in agreement. The plan was in motion. 

_“You’re gonna get caught if you can’t get this right. It may not be so bad for you as you’re a little girl but they’ll still lock you away...”, Arthur said, after over an hour of trying to teach Cathryn how to pickpocket._

_“I’m trying...”, Cathryn sighed. She had no idea this training would be so exhausting, she had been with the gang only a month and now she needed to help earn her keep._

_“She’s not ready.” John said, a boy of fifteen who was full of rage. “The moment they catch her she will lead them straight to camp!”, Cathryn gasped._

_“No I wouldn’t!”_

_“Yes you fucking would you liar!”, it was the first time he had ever shouted at her, the first time anyone had. She was only ten, small and unprepared for the harsh world planned out for her, she started to cry._

_“John, fuck off! You’re not helping!”, Arthur shouted, pushing John off the wagon, urging him to leave her alone._

_“Go on and cry! Go off to Dutch and tell him what happened! I don’t care...”, John spit and walked off into the woods. Arthur groaned, watching John leave and looked back at Cathryn._

_“He doesn’t mean it Cathryn. He’s just scared...”, Cathryn wiped her eyes and looked at Arthur confused._

_“Scared? He didn’t look scared...”, Arthur sat down, gesturing for Cathryn to do the same, his wrapped his arm around her._

_“When most people are angry, I’ve found its usually because their scared. Scared of losing something, scared of being weak, scared of people leaving them or judging them...John is just scared. He doesn’t mean to be hurtful.”_

_“Why? Why is he scared?”_

_“Because John has always been alone...he tries to wear it like armour, tries to pretend that it doesn’t affect him. But it does. And more than anything he’s scared of being alone again.”_

Charles and Lenny pulled the oil wagon onto the tracks and Cathryn stood on top of it, waiting for the train to come. 

“Remember the plan. Cathryn you stay here, make sure no one does anything funny, shoot them if you have to. The rest of us will go through the train and take what we can. We wanna try and not kill anyone unless absolutely necessary!”, John shouted to the group, everyone nodded in agreement and the men disappeared into the nearby bushes. Cathryn put on her mask, feeling the wagon vibrating as the train came closer. She saw the lights shining brightly in the darkness as it went round the corner, the brakes screeching as she came into view. Cathryn took her shotgun from behind her back, positioning it towards the front of the train. A threat, not an aim. The train stopped, the horn blowing twice and twice again. 

“What’s going on here? What’s going on?”, the train driver yelled as he came out of the train, Cathryn stared at him while John snuck behind, stabbing him in the back. 

“Cathryn, wanna stay up there or come with us? The trains not going anytime soon!”, John cried and Cathryn jumped off the oil wagon, making her way to the first cabin. As she opened the door the passengers screamed. 

“Everybody stay calm and nobody gets shot!” Cathryn shouted, she handed out her bag to a man on her left. His face full of anger, he got up to try and knock her out but Cathryn dodged out of the way, grabbing the man by his hair and slamming his head into the back of the seat. “Don’t underestimate me gentlemen...I’m highly capable of gutting every single one of you.”, the men suddenly opened their bags, handing out huge wads of cash. “That’s better...”, one of the women gave her pearl necklace and another her rings. This was going smoothly. As she finished with the first cabin she overheard Lenny shouting. 

“The baggage cabin”, Cathryn nodded and made her way through the train to the baggage compartment. Lenny was right behind her, as she opened the door a man raised his gun to her, life flashing before her eyes she prepared for the gunshot when she saw his body fall to the floor. She looked behind her, Lenny had got him right between the eyes. 

“Thanks Lenny. I owe you my life.”, Lenny smiled. 

“Don’t mention it.”, they went through the cabin, searching bags and cabinets until they amassed a few hundred dollars. “We should get out of here Cathryn...There are two fellas on horses...”, Cathryn nodded and they ran to the open part of the train, meeting up with John and Charles. 

“Get off the train! We’re taking you in!”, the two men shouted. 

“We can take them”, John said “Cathryn, you get the one on the left, I’ll go for the right.”, Cathryn nodded, lifting up her shotgun, aiming for the head and pulling the trigger. He fell of his horse as did the other man. Suddenly there were a whole heap of men on horses riding towards the train “Shit! Everyone shoot!”. Thankfully the men had lanterns so Cathryn had little trouble finding her targets she knocked about two more men off their horses as did the others. When they had all gone John jumped off the train. “Quick! It won’t be long before the law gets here...”, The group ran to the horses that were hidden in the trees. “Follow me!”, Cathryn stayed close to John as they weaved through the countryside and forests, staying off the main road unless necessary until they got all the way home. Once out of sight the group stopped, trying to catch their breath. Cathryn started laughed. 

“That was a rush!”, John smiled. 

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, we got a nice amount. Well done everyone.” 

“Thanks again Lenny, for back there I mean...”, Lenny smiled. 

“Hey, it’s no problem. You’d do the same for me!”, they rode back to camp excited to share the news of their success. 

*** 

As they headed through the woods to the clearing they heard the music and laughing before they saw the celebrations. It looked like there was a party going on. 

“What the fuck is going on?”, John asked. Suddenly an old face popped into sight, laughing and running towards them, it was Sean! Everyone jumped off their horses. 

“Hey everyone! Miss me?”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Of course we did, this all for you?”, she gestured at the dancing and the singing. 

“I heard Micah didn’t get as good a reception as I did so I wanted to rub it in his face!”, Cathryn laughed, Sean offering her his arm and she took it, skipping into the camp. Arthur was chugging a beer, from the looks of it, it must have been his fourth. He turned to her. 

“Cathy! You’re back! You see I got Sean?”, Cathryn laughed, gesturing at Sean. 

“No, I hadn’t noticed...”, Arthur laughed and offered her a beer which she took. 

“Well then you need a drink...I bet you can’t down an entire bottle in one go?”, she raised an eyebrow, putting the bottle to her lips and downing the entire thing. Arthur stared at her in shock, his mouth wide open. “Well, looks like you can...but now your drink is empty...have another!” Cathryn laughed as she took one more. After a few more drinks, Cathryn lost count, they stumbled towards the fire pit. Dutch was there along with Karen, Uncle, Javier, Hosea and Bill. Cathryn went to sit down on a log but fell and hit the ground. 

“Fuck sake!”, she cried and everyone laughed. 

“Girl can’t handle her liquor...”, Uncle shouted and everyone laughed. “Cathryn, I was just talking to Dutch about you. About when we went into Valentine and the lovely song you were singing...how did it go again?”, Karen snorted and began to sing the line. 

“I got a girl in Valentine, likes to drink that fancy wine! The plumes in her hair was two feet tall, the crack in her pants paid for it all!”, everyone started to laugh, even Cathryn who was still lying on the floor. 

“How crude my dear...”, Dutch smirked as he took another drink, he was staring at her again and Cathryn could do nothing but smile at him. The ground was so comfortable... 

“You’ll have to do a show soon Cathy...”, Arthur said. “She used to sing for us all the time in the old days...”, Cathryn tried to sit up. 

“The old days Mr. Morgan!! Are you insinuating I’m old!”, Arthur shook his head trying to help her get up. 

“No, no, no. I’m just saying that we’re all fucking old.”, Cathryn laughed, pointing at him and fell back to the floor. There was no room for her on the log anyway, why would she get up to try and sit on one. 

“I’ve been saving this for a special occasion...”, Bill shouted as he took a large bottle from behind his back. “Moonshine...”, everyone cheered, Cathryn had heard of moonshine before but never drank any. Everyone had a chug and when Dutch had his drink he looked to pass it to Cathryn. 

“Dutch give me some...”, he smirked and held it back. 

“You gotta ask nicely...”, everyone chuckled. 

“Please!” She cried. “Pretty please...”, he waited a moment then smiled and gave her the bottle. She had a sip, or maybe it was more than a sip, the taste was bitter. She scrunched her face up in disgust as it burned the entire way down her throat. She smiled as she passed it to Arthur, laying back on the floor, her head by Dutch’s feet as he watched her. She couldn’t stop smiling. 

*** 

At some point in the night everyone decided to separate and Cathryn found herself on Dutch’s arm as they stumbled by the shore of the lake. They were laughing to each other, trying to keep quiet in case anyone was asleep. Cathryn tripped and fell onto the sand laughing. Dutch tried to keep her quiet, placing a finger on her lips. They stared at each other for a moment, Dutch then moved her so they were leaning again a slope, their backs to the camp. It was so quiet but Cathryn’s ears were ringing. 

“Everything’s spinning...”, Dutch chuckled, he was staring at her again. She sat up, spinning around to face him, kneeling in front of him. “Why are you always staring at me?”, Dutch tilted his head to the side. He brought his left hand up to her cheek, holding it there, stroking her with his thumb. 

“Because you’re beautiful...”, Cathryn laughed, turning away, Dutch came closer. He kissed her cheek softly and then her ear. Cathryn giggled and tried to pull away, it was ticklish. His kiss went lower, to her jaw and then her neck. More and more, he was trying to devour her. Cathryn fell onto her back as Dutch crawled on top of her, she felt so hot, it was too hot here. He stared at her, his arms either side, normally she would feel trapped but right now she just felt safe. Nothing else mattered, no one else was around. His hand went back to her cheek, caressing her slowly, her arms covering in goosebumps. 

“Earlier today you stormed into my tent, vowing how you would never submit...and look where you are now...”, Cathryn blushed, she forgot about that, probably the wrong choice of words. His hand wandered lower, grazing the top of her blouse, his hand was burning. He spread his palm on her chest, so huge compared to her. “Look what I can do...”, his hand went up until it was clutching at her throat, he wasn’t being aggressive but his grip was firm. His thumb rubbing up and down her larynx. He stared at her, studying her reactions. He came closer, his mouth by her ear as he whispered slowly. “That’s it darling, that’s a good girl...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the cliffhanger, don't kill me!!


	15. The Pinkertons

Cathryn woke up on the lake shore, Arthur shaking her, she groaned loudly as her head pulsated. What the fuck happened last night she wondered. 

“Cathy...you okay?” 

“I was...before you woke me up...”, Cathryn groaned, rubbing her head in her hands. God it was bright this time in the morning. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” 

“No idea...I think we had some moonshine? That’s all I really remember...”, Arthur nodded, he was pretty certain he couldn’t remember much either. At the very least he couldn’t remember where Cathryn went off to. 

“You feeling okay though? Other than the hangover?”, Cathryn nodded. She felt fine, she was a bit cold being outside all night but nothing a hot cup of coffee couldn’t handle. She took Arthurs hand as he helped her up, the two of them walking into camp together. “I got some work with Strauss today, gotta get some repayments, you can handle yourself?”, Cathryn nodded, ushering Arthur away. He stared at her for a moment but left, he could tell his talking was just contributing to the headache. Cathryn took a sip of hot coffee, the bitterness piercing through the hangover, Ms. Grimshaw came to join her. 

“Fun night?”, Cathryn shrugged. 

“Must have been, because I don’t remember.”, Ms. Grimshaw tutted and shook her head. Cathryn really didn’t want a lecture right now. 

“You should be more careful. Who knows what could have happened...”, Cathryn sighed. 

“Like you’ve never had a drink Ms. Grimshaw?”, they stared at each other for a while. 

“I’m just trying to look out for you...but if that’s how you want it...”, Ms. Grimshaw then stormed to the other side of the camp, Cathryn groaned, great, that was another person she had to apologise to. She looked around the camp to see Dutch outside his tent, his eyes on her. He looked curious, like she was a puzzle to solve. His right hand running over his mouth, it lingered there as he started stroking his chin. Cathryn just stared for a moment, she probably looked so disorientated but her headache didn’t care. She needed more sleep. She stood up, about to go to her tent when Abigail stopped her. 

“Hey Cathryn, can I talk to you for a moment?”, Cathryn nodded and walked over to her. “Can I ask you a favour? Would you do something with Jack? He just seems kind of down...All of this hasn’t been easy on him.” 

“Sure...but why me?”, Abigail shrugged and then smiled. 

“Jack likes you and John trusts you...that’s enough for me...”, Cathryn nodded. Hanging out with Jack sounded like fun, he was a sweet boy and she loved children. Maybe she could take him fishing, the breeze might do her some good, it was also a nice quiet sport. The two of them wandered over to Jack who was sat in the grass playing with what seemed like nothing. 

“Hey Jack, wanna come fishing with me?”, Cathryn asked softly, Jack looked up. He looked confused. “You can start earning your keep and it’ll be fun to get away from all the grown-ups...” 

“But you’re a grown up...” 

“Not really, I’m a bit of a child at heart. Come on, it will be fun!”, Jack looked at his mother who nodded and then stood up. Cathryn helped him onto the back of Rosemary before getting on herself. She had one final look at the camp, Dutch was still watching her despite Molly’s proximity to him. She sighed; she would have to ask him what was wrong when she returned. 

*** 

As they got to a small riverbank, Cathryn jumped down, helping Jack off the horse and onto the ground. Jack took out the small fishing pole that Hosea made for him and Cathryn smiled, Hosea was always good with kids. 

“Where do we stand then?”, Jack asked softly, Cathryn smiled. 

“By the shore, come on, follow me.”, the two made their way to the waters edge “First we need some bait...”, Cathryn took out some cheese and put it on the end of her fishing hook. “Now, swing the rod back and over your shoulder...”, Jack followed her every movement in amazement. “and bring it forward in a smooth motion.”, She threw the line into the water and Jack followed. “There...now you’ve got it...now you just wait.” 

“How do I know if I’ve got a bite?”, Jack asked. 

“You’ll feel the pole kind of twitch, that’s the fish having a little nibble...”, Jack giggled. “When it yanks, it’s taken a bite and you’re ready to reel it up!”, the two of them waited for fish, she was patient with Jack, answering all of his questions softly which he appreciated. She felt her headache clearing. She watched the waves of the water. Gently building and breaking, rising and falling... 

_The waves, she remembered the waves, she remembered how it felt last night. How it felt when she was building up and up and up...how it finally felt when it came crashing down...it was like lightning. But then it was like she was floating on air, everything was so calm, so peaceful. She remembers the waves lapping at the shore. How happy she was in that moment._

Cathryn shook her head; she was losing her mind. Jack had managed to catch a fish a few moments later and Cathryn was so proud, she ran over, picking him up and swinging him around. 

“Your momma is going to be so proud!”, Jack giggled. 

“Can we play now?”, Cathryn looked back to the water, wondering whether they should keep going but decided to play for now. Jack had his whole life to learn how to fish, but he probably only had a few more years of playing before he had to grow up. The two of them ran over to the flowers as part of a race, Jack about to win until Cathryn picked him up and began to tickle his stomach. “Stop!”, He laughed loudly. Cathryn stopped and put him down. 

“Sorry Jack, that was a dirty trick, I knew you were going to beat me and I just couldn’t let you!”, Jack giggled, smiling widely at Cathryn. He started picking some flowers, she recognised what he was doing, he was making a flower necklace. 

“That’s very pretty Jack...is it for your momma?”, Jack shook his head. 

“No, it’s for you! I made momma one yesterday.”, Cathryn smiled. 

“Aww Jack, you don’t have to make me anything! Spending time with you is enough for me!” 

“I know, but you should have it, it’s pretty. I like making them.”, he finished, showing the daisy chain necklace to Cathryn. She let him put it around her neck. “There! All done!” 

“It’s beautiful Jack, I’ll wear it as long as it lasts...”, Jack smiled. 

“Why isn’t this a pretty sight?”, Cathryn looked up at the stranger's voice. She didn’t recognise the two men but there was something familiar about them. 

“Who are you?” Cathryn said as she stood up, hiding Jack behind her legs, though they had already seen him. The two men got off their horses. 

“I’m Agent Milton, and this is Agent Ross...We are the Pinkerton Detective Agency, seconded to the United States Government. It’s nice to finally meet you.”, Cathryn stayed silent as the men came closer. “It’s quite surprising really, we don’t know too much about you, which probably means you’re new to the gang? Is this your boy?”, Milton gestured to Jack. 

“It’s none of your concern...” 

“Oh but it is...we want Dutch van der Linde.”, Cathryn tensed up. Dutch had really gotten himself in some deep shit. And now she too was involved. 

“I don’t know who you’re talking about...”, Agent Milton raised his eyebrows. 

“Don’t play coy Miss, you were noted at being at Blackwater and then spotted in Valentine, same place as Dutch at the same time. Now, I don’t really believe in coincidences...”, he came even closer, his face towering over hers. “Do you?”, Cathryn remained silent. Whatever she said he would just twist her words. “Listen...this is my offer...bring in Dutch van der Linde and I promise that, whatever you’ve done, you won’t swing.” 

“I had no idea there was any possibility of me swinging, Mr. Milton, I’ve done nothing wrong, I’m not interested in playing games.”, Milton sighed. 

“Please spare me the philosophy lesson, I’ve heard it enough times before, from Mac Callander.”, Cathryn remembered the name, he was with the gang at the start, she’d only known him less than a week but she knew the gang loved him. “He was pretty shot up by the time I got to him, so really it was more of a mercy killing...”, Cathryn glared at Milton. She knew what he was trying to do, he was trying to scare her, but it wouldn’t work. She could tell by his eyes that he wasn’t a good man, no matter what disguise he painted himself to be. 

“I have nothing for you Mr. Milton.” 

“You’ve heard my offer Miss...if you grow tired of them...or if Dutch grows tired of you. Then you’ll know where to find us.”, with that he bowed his head and got back on his horse, Agent Ross following behind him. 

“Enjoy the fishing kid, while you still can.”, the threat wasn’t lost on Cathryn. She waited until they were gone and helped Jack pick up his things. She then got him on the back of her horse, she would have to keep her eye out to ensure she wasn’t being followed. 

“Who were they?”, Jack asked, she knew he was scared but he didn’t understand. She squeezed his hand. 

“No one Jack, no one to be concerned about. Let’s get home.” 

*** 

As they rode into camp, Cathryn quickly picked up Jack and took him to Abigail. Who was sat, basking in the afternoon sunshine, she looked so peaceful. 

“There you two are! How was it?”, Jack ran over to his mother and gave her a big hug. 

“It was good Momma! I caught a fish!”, Abigail giggled and nodded towards you in thanks. 

“Did you thank Cathryn?”, Jack stopped and stared at her, running over and giving you a hug, you returned it warmly. 

“Thank you Cathryn!” 

“You can call me Cathy.”, she whispered and ruffled his hair. Abigail smiled and the two of them walked away. She quickly went looking for Dutch, he needed to know what happened, despite how awkward it seemed between the two of them. She looked in his tent and found him sitting on his cot reading a book. The moment he saw her he was in shock, getting up quickly and dusting himself off, she had no idea why but now was not the time. 

“Cathy...”, He spoke softly. He looked at the daisy necklace gracing her neck, gently stroking one of the flowers. “Beautiful necklace, Jack is definitely growing up to be a romantic...”, Cathryn blushed faintly, not unnoticed by Dutch. 

“We have a problem. I ran into some men on the river as I took Jack fishing. Their names were Milton and Ross, they were from the Pinkerton agency.”, Dutch got up, the anger evident in his face, but it wasn’t directed at her. 

“Were you followed?”, He asked through gritted teeth, pacing in the tent. 

“No but they have to know that we’re near here...it was too close Dutch...”, Dutch walked outside, surveying the horizon. She followed closely behind him, and took hold of arm. He looked back to her, his anger diminished in that small moment. “They wanted you Dutch, they offered me freedom for my help...”, Dutch looked down, breathing in and out, trying to remain calm. 

“Why didn’t you take it?”, they looked at each other. 

“I would never betray you Dutch...”, the answer wasn’t what he wanted but it was enough for him. He nodded and started walking, she followed. She didn’t want him to be alone. “What do we do?” 

“I say we do nothing, at least not yet. They’re trying to scare us into doing something stupid.”, Cathryn nodded, it made a lot of sense, why not just come storming into camp if they knew where they were. Better to take them out on the road where they would be more vulnerable. “We’ve turned a corner; we survived those mountains. We just need to stay calm.”, Cathryn agreed. If everyone knew the Pinkertons were on their trail then there would be madness, Dutch needed to keep everyone together. 

“Of course Dutch, if you need anything then you know where I am.”, Dutch looked at her, his expression almost blank. She knew that they hadn’t had the easiest relationship since she came back but she would always be there for him. If she would stand by anyone in this camp, it would be the man who saved her from death.


	16. Never letting go

Cathryn slowly made her way into the Valentine post office, whilst Dutch was still concerned of the Pinkertons knowing her association with him, mail still needed to be checked and the rest of the gang were busy with other work. This would likely be her last time in this town and she wasn’t looking to stick around. After finding there was no mail left for anyone in the group, she went to leave when she saw Arthur standing on the train-line, a woman to his right with a large suitcase. Cathryn looked closer, and upon realising it was Mary Linton she gasped, turning away quickly. So, Arthur did go and meet her. She knew they had a complex history but she had hoped that he had moved on from the woman who thought she was too good for him. Arthur deserved better. 

_“I do believe our boy is in love...”, Dutch smirked as Arthur told the group where he had been. Cathryn was sat by Dutch’s feet, watching as Arthur tried to hide a smile._

_“Oh, shut up...”, Arthur said, a blush fanning his cheeks._

_“and blushing!”, Dutch shouted which made everyone laugh. Arthur shook his head, trying to move away from the subject. “What’s her name? Are we to meet the lovely lady? Is she to join us?”_

_“Her name’s Mary...she’s...she’s everything and more. Her family won’t approve but we can make it work, I know we can.”, Dutch stood up, ruffled the top of Cathryn's head and made his way over to Arthur, his arms reaching out as if to embrace him but he grabbed him firmly by the arms instead._

_“Love is a powerful thing Arthur, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, it separates us from mere animals. If you want her then you have to go get her, fight for her! Then when you have her you never let her go...That is my lesson to you son...”, Arthur smiled and nodded. Cathryn watched the scene, Arthur looked so happy. She dreamt that night of a young woman she had never met before, dreamt that they would become best-friends, and the seven of them would ride into the sunset. Free and happy._

Cathryn tried to believe in Mary, the entire time she was with the gang, she had even met her a few times but learning what had happened between the two just shattered her faith in her. Now she was back, stringing him along. It didn’t matter if Mary was still in love with him, her leash was choking him, but he would follow her always. She waited until they said goodbye, her hopping on the train with a younger man and Arthur waited until the train rode on. Arthur made his way round the station and into town, Cathryn watched and waited until the coast was clear, hoping he wouldn’t catch her spying on him. She sat down on the bench, allowing herself a moment of peace, feeling the wind softly blow the blonde curls of her hair. 

_His hands were on her, gripping at her waist, encompassing it entirely. His mouth hot on hers, as if to devour her very being. She ran her fingers through his dark hair, throwing his hat to the floor. He grunted, slowly tracing her figure, up past her ribcage, her breasts and neck until they were tangled in her hair. She had lost herself completely, there was no going back. Damn be the consequences, all she desired was to get closer._

Cathryn opened her eyes, her heart hammering in her chest. That had to be real, she couldn’t have imagined something that vivid. Dutch knew what had happened, that’s why he had been staring at her in camp the day after. She cursed out loud. He had to know, he had to remember. She ran her hands through her hair, starting to panic about what this now meant for them. She was certain they didn’t have sex; she would have felt it the morning after. But it still wasn’t a good place to be, what if someone had seen them, what about Molly? Cathryn stood up, she needed to get away, needed to have a think...or maybe a drink. She left the train station, making her way to the saloon when she bumped into John Marston. 

“Cathy? Are you okay? Looks like you’ve seen a ghost!”, Cathryn shook her head, her heart beating even faster. What if John knew? Her breath started to quicken. “Hey, hey...it’s okay. Come on, let’s sit down.”, Cathryn nodded as they sat by the side of the road. “What happened?” 

“It’s nothing I just...”, she kept tripping over her words, terrified of what everyone would think of her when they found out. 

“Cathy.”, he grabbed her arms, shaking her slightly. “You can tell me anything. I promise it will be okay...”, Cathryn nodded and focused on her breathing, trying to calm down. She could tell John, he would be understanding, he had to be. 

“Can we go grab a drink first?”, John nodded and helped her stand up. The two of them slowly walked towards the saloon. “What are you doing here?” 

“Helped herd some sheep to the auction house...got a good cut from it.”, Cathryn smiled weakly. 

“Never took you for a rancher John...”, He chuckled. 

“It wasn’t too bad...if I ever decide to hang in the towel it’s an option!”, Cathryn laughed lightly, trying to imagine John herding cattle and cleaning out muck from a stall. John opened the door to the Saloon, leading Cathryn inside, finally calming down until she saw the familiar faces in the bar. Dutch, Arthur, Hosea and Herr Strauss. She couldn’t even look at Dutch, she felt so embarrassed. She wanted to leave with John but now the men had seen her she knew it would just create a scene, she had to try and remain calm until she could be alone. 

“John, Cathy...”, Dutch said softly. “Where have you been?” 

“Just working Dutch.”, John said smoothly, Cathryn nodded along with him. Dutch seemed satisfied as he nodded his head. 

“John and Strauss, can you stay outside and ensure there’s no funny business while we conduct a plan?”, Cathryn stepped forward, she needed the air more than John. 

“I’ll go Dutch, it’s too stuffy in here for me...”, Dutch watched her for a moment, he knew something was off. 

“Alright...if that’s what you want?”, Cathryn nodded quickly and left the saloon with Strauss. Strauss often kept quiet, he wouldn’t really talk to her and now was no exception, in all honesty she found the man rather creepy. But being with him outside was better than being stuck with Dutch inside, knowing what she knows now. She didn’t even know what she would say to him, should she just try and ignore it and hope he forgets? Or face it head on? She looked up, watching as men started to fill the streets. She turned to Strauss, he knew something was off to, they went to investigate but were grabbed by two random men and dragged into the road, guns to their heads. Leading the men was an old, distinguished gentleman. She had no idea who he was but he certainly knew who they were. 

“Dutch van der Linde! Get out here!”, the man shouted towards the saloon. “You don’t know me but you keep robbing me! My name is Leviticus Cornwall!”, Oh shit, Cathryn thought, she remembered that name being mentioned after the train robbery in the mountains. “I am not a man to be messed with by the likes of you! Get out here before I have these two killed!”, Cathryn saw a flicker in the window and she thanked God that it wasn’t just Dutch in that building. They would save her, she had faith in them. There was silence, but Cathryn stood firm that they would help her. “Let’s start with the little blonde one first!”, she was shoved to the floor, the gun even tighter against her head. Come on Dutch, she whispered. With that the door to the saloon opened, there he came out, completely alone. His eyes fixed on only her. He looked unhinged, he looked worried, Cathryn started to shake as she heard the gun click. His hands raised in surrender. 

“Please sir, there has been a terrible mistake...This is the case of a mistaken identity...”, He looked at Cornwall but his eyes kept flickering to Cathryn. “What is worse than admonishing a man for the sins...of another?”, He gestured to the crowd. “Who wants to be the messiah? Not me...Nor do I want to be this ‘Dutch van der Linde’, whomever he may be...”, as he finished his sentence, multiple shots were fired in the air as Arthur, Hosea and John fired quickly at the men in the street. The man who held her to the floor slumped over her as a bullet went through his brain and Cathryn quickly grabbed his gun and ran to hide behind some boxes to take cover. When the area was cleared Dutch and Arthur ran over to her, Dutch knelt on the ground, his hands cupping her face, checking to see if she had been hurt. 

“You okay Cathy?”, Arthur asked, she nodded. Glad that Dutch had managed to help them get away but still feeling embarrassed. 

“I’m okay...” 

“Good. We need to get out of here now. Where is Strauss?”, Hosea asked to the group. More gunshots started to fire. 

“No time! We need to go now!”, Dutch shouted, grabbing Cathryn by the waist and leading her to another hiding spot. The rest of the group spread out as they made their way to the outskirts of town. “There’s more coming sweetheart, keep an eye out.” She nodded, looking up over the cart and shooting one of the men in the stomach. Dutch took down another. They kept moving forward, from post to post until they were at the high-street. Cathryn saw Strauss in the distance, crawling on the floor as he had been shot down. 

“Strauss is there! He’s been shot.”, everyone nodded as they saw him. They needed to get him out of there. “Arthur, John, can you give us cover?”, they nodded and made their way through the street, clearing out the majority of men as Cathryn, Dutch and Hosea got to Strauss. “Put him in that wagon!” Cathryn ordered and the men picked up Strauss, groaning in pain, before dumping him in the truck. “We’re gonna push him out of here Arthur. Keep shooting!” 

“No problem!”, the three of them started to push the wagon slowly, John on the other side. 

“We need to get out of here!” Hosea shouted, thankfully they had made it to the end of the street. “Our horses are over there, John, you grab Strauss and take him on your horse. Everyone else, ride alone, keep away from main roads and get back to camp. Make sure you aren’t followed!”, everyone nodded in agreement and ran towards their horses. 

“Cathryn! Stay with me!” Dutch shouted as he jumped on The Count. Cathryn got on Rosemary and began to ride out. 

“Hosea said we needed to separate!”, she replied as they ducked out the way of gunshots. 

“Hosea doesn’t run this fucking group! Stay with me! I won’t risk losing you again.”, Cathryn sighed but followed his orders. She knew there was no point in disobeying him, it would only make things worse. “We need to get back and get everyone packing...we have to leave...” 

“Is moving around a lot normal for you guys?”, Dutch shook his head. 

“No, it isn’t. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“I’m fine Dutch!”, she shouted, a bit too harshly. She saw Dutch clench his jaw, she needed to quit whilst she was ahead. 

“When we get settled in this new camp we need to have a chat about your behaviour.”, in any other circumstance Cathryn would have stopped her horse and screamed at him, but they had to keep going. 

“My behaviour? What the fuck are you on about?”, She shouted but it only riled him up more. 

“You are acting like a child! I’ve had enough!” 

“If I’m such a child then stop fucking drooling like some dog. I’m sick of it!”, the rode in through the back of the forests by the camp. Dutch jumped off his horse before they got too close and Cathryn followed him. They needed to finish this. He stalked closer to her, pushing her against a tree, his nose touching hers. 

“Is that what you want?”, he spat, his eyes full of bitterness. 

“Yes.”, she said plainly. She watched his face change, once tense and full of anger his eyes began to sag. She watched his pain start to leak out but she didn’t care. She was angry about what happened that night, he didn’t need to know that she remembered. 

“I don’t believe you...”, he mumbled to the ground, keeping her pressed against the tree. 

“Whatever you say Dutch...”, he stared at her again, the walls now straight back up. He slowly released her from his grasp and watched as she walked towards the camp, holding and trying to comfort herself from the confrontation. 

“This isn’t over Cathy...”, she grimaced at the horrid tone used to say her pet name. “I told you we would discuss your behaviour at the new camp, I meant every word.”, Cathryn stopped, she knew this would happen, no matter what she said he wouldn’t let her slip away. He walked closer behind her till his lips were at her ear. “It’s alright sweetheart, I know it’s hard...”, his hands came up onto her shoulders, rubbing her neck with his rough fingers. “but we both know how this is going to end, how it will always end.”. Cathryn closed her eyes, why did it seem so easy to just give in. “No more fighting it now...”


	17. Family

“So, we keep heading East? And then what? Keep going till we reach Paris?”, Cathryn heard Hosea shouting from within Dutch’s tent. Arthur was also there, they were deciding where to go. 

“We stop when it feels sensible. Shake them that’s following us and lie low...”, Dutch responded, trying to keep calm. Arthur looked to Cathryn and gestured her to come forward. She didn’t really want to be near Dutch right now but she also wanted to know what would be happening to the camp, she hated not knowing things. 

“We tried lying low Dutch, it turned us into a bunch of killers.”, Hosea said grimly, Cathryn reached the tent, Dutch looking her way and frowning. “We ain’t even got the delusion of being anything but a bunch of killers...”, she could see Dutch becoming more frustrated. 

“We are just trying to survive Hosea.”, Dutch barked. Hosea got up, he didn’t want to hear this anymore, “We need to do this, we have no choice. This will end soon.”, Hosea walked out and Cathryn frowned. She had never seen Dutch and Hosea like this before, they had always been so friendly, now it seemed like she could cut the tension with a knife. When Dutch was left alone with Arthur and Cathryn he sighed. “Must be constipated...”, Arthur chuckled. “Micah told me of a place we can lie low...Dewberry Creek...”, Arthur looked at the map Dutch held in his hands and nodded. 

“Did you two want to take a look? Maybe bring Charles?”, Cathryn was in shock. Arthur and Charles, alone with her, the two men who Dutch seemingly threatened to stay away from her. She was unsure whether he was trying to make a point or whether he just really needed this sorted but it seemed too strange to be a coincidence, regardless she nodded. “Just clear off everyone there before we move in.. I don’t want to deal with any unnecessary conflict.” 

“Feeling like your damn errand boy...”, Arthur grumbled. 

“No, you’re my son. You worry because I worry.”, Dutch said, Cathryn looked between the two, she never realised how strange this relationship was between the two. Or maybe it had always been like that and she was just too young to even notice. To many they seemed just like partners, but Dutch was like a father to Arthur as he was to her. But now what? Rivalry? No...not yet. There were hints when she overheard them talking about her but they wouldn’t throw away all their history for this would they? “We are the same.”, Arthur swatted his hand away and grabbed Cathryn by the shoulder to take her to the horses. 

“What was that all about?”, Cathryn asked as she jumped onto Rosemary. 

“Just on edge. Something doesn’t feel right.”, he climbed onto his own horse and shouted for Charles to follow them. “I knew that train was a bad idea, now we have some crazy rich man and the law after us. We’ve never been in such shit before, and I don’t think it’s gonna get any easier...”, Cathryn nodded but stayed quiet, waiting until Charles came over and the three of them started to ride. 

“Hey Cathryn, Dutch finally let you out with me?”, Charles laughed lightheartedly, Cathryn smiled, she knew Charles meant nothing disrespectful by it. He seemed like a genuine man. 

“I’m as surprised as you are...” 

“So where are we going?” 

“Some place called Dewberry creek...we’re moving...again.”, Arthur grumbled and Cathryn watched as Charles frowned. 

“The shoot-out was that bad huh? Everyone’s talking about it but no one knows how much of it was truth.”, Arthur grumbled, Charles sighing as he realised it was as bad as everyone had rumoured. “Funny, I’ve not known him that long but I swear Dutch always said he never wanted to go south?” 

“Exactly!”, Arthur shouted, throwing his hands up in the air. “And there’s no way we can lie low...there ain’t no way Dutch is gonna just hide away in a cave somewhere.”, Cathryn frowned, she wished that Dutch could be that person, but she agreed with Arthur, he never was one to sit still. It made him very popular but in times of need it was a disagreeable trait. 

“It goes against everything he stands for.”, Cathryn stated, the two men looking at her and nodding. “Sitting still means acknowledging we are doing something wrong, that we’re criminals, that we can’t be free...”, there was silence, she knew they agreed with her, they were criminals and they knew it. But Dutch could never know they felt that way, it would be like ripping away his soul. “So where does it end? The running? The moving?” 

“I don’t know Cathy, beforehand we could just put enough distance between us and the problem and it would go away. Now...now it’s like we’re being hunted.”, they kept riding for a while. “Hold up, there’s the creek.”, Arthur shouted. Cathryn looked, it was a terrible place for a camp, too out in the open. If it rained the place would just flood, what was Micah thinking? 

“There’s a body!”, Charles shouted, riding towards a couple of birds that were feasting on the rotten flesh. “He was shot...”, Charles deduced by looking at the body. He then looked towards the horizon, waiting and looking for signs of trouble. “There’s a camp just up ahead...probably the ones who did this. The camp could be what we’re looking for. I say we go over.”, Arthur and Cathryn nodded and began to make their journey to this new camp. Charles rode ahead, leaving Arthur and Cathryn to themselves. Cathryn twiddled her thumbs, deciding whether to open up to Arthur about Dutch. He needed to know; she could trust him. She had to tell someone. 

“I remember what happened the night Sean came back...”, he looked at her in shock and then gestured for her to continue the story. “Dutch and I... well we...”, Arthur stopped his horse. 

“He didn’t fuck you, did he?”, his face turning red with anger. 

“No! No...”, she stuttered in surprise, he sighed and started to ride again. “I mean we did stuff, god this sounds embarrassing, but I’m certain we didn’t have sex.”, Arthur nodded but kept quiet. “No one else knows...I only remembered yesterday...” 

“and...”, Cathryn sighed, he wanted to know how she felt about it all but she didn’t really know. 

“I don’t know Arthur. I don’t think I have a choice in any of this anymore...”, she remembered Dutchs words, how she shouldn’t fight it anymore. 

“You always have a choice Cathy. If you don’t want him then tell me, tell Hosea, tell John. Hell, even tell Ms. Grimshaw! We aren’t gonna let him near ya if you don’t want to be with him.”, Cathryn nodded but remained silent. “So...do you want him to leave you alone?” 

“It’s not that. If I didn’t want him then I wouldn’t have been with him that night. I remember wanting him, I wasn’t just drunk...”, Arthur stayed silent, staring at Charles up ahead. “I think I’m just scared...” 

“Dutch is a scary man...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Not just of Dutch but everyone else, what they will think of me...and I’m scared it will ruin everything...” 

“Things are already starting to crumble Cathy, and it’s nothing to do with you.”, she sighed and nodded. He looked at her, frowning, she had never seen him so sad. “I won’t ever stop looking after you though, if you choose Dutch then the group will respect it, they will respect you. But if he ever hurts you then you need to promise me you will say something.”, He was staring at her now, she needed to vow this to him. 

“I promise Arthur.”, she swore, staring at him, smiling. He nodded and the two kept going. 

*** 

They snuck into the camp but found it to be completely deserted. When Charles found some tracks and unveiled a woman with her two children under a wagon, Cathryn jumped back. The woman looked terrified and was babbling in a language she couldn’t understand. Arthur and Charles dropped their weapons. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. We won’t hurt you.”, the woman observed them slowly, still aiming her shotgun but slowly crawled out from the wagon. She started to speak again, Cathryn recognised it slightly. 

“They’re German I think...”, she said to Arthur and Charles. She then looked at the woman. “No, we don’t speak German.”, the woman looked dismayed, tears stained her face. Something must have happened to these people. 

“You need to go. We need this land. Get out of here!”, Arthur gestured but the woman became more agitated. The eldest of the children, a young girl came forward. 

“Please. They took our father...”, Cathryn sighed, at least now they could understand each other. 

“Who did? And where?”, Charles asked softly. Arthur turned to him, grunting about how they couldn’t afford to go on this goose chase, how it was pointless if they didn’t know their language but Charles didn’t care. 

“Don’t be cruel Arthur, we’re going to help them.”, Cathryn stated, Arthur looked at her and sighed, rubbing his eyes. He couldn’t refuse her. “Come on Arthur, we can track them.”, the three of them went back to their horses, Cathryn looked back at the young girl, the same age she was when she was originally with Dutch and the gang. Seeing her was like going back in time. Charles began to search for a trail, looking in the direction that the little girl pointed to, once he found some hoof-marks in the sand the three were off. Searching for the little girl's father. 

“Were you really just going to leave them there Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, and Arthur sighed. “It just doesn’t seem like you...” 

“What in the few weeks that you’ve been here?”, Cathryn flinched at his tone. “You keep saying you want things to stay the same but they aren’t anymore Cathryn! I’m different, Dutch is different. Stop pretending that we can go back because we can’t.”, Cathryn stared at him, anger filling her slowly. 

“Fine Arthur. If that’s how you want to be then fine, I won’t stop you. If you really want to fuck off back to Dutch to show him the wasteland that’s Dewberry Creek than go ahead.”, and with that Cathryn picked up the pace to stay closer to Charles, leaving Arthur behind them, he wouldn’t dare leave though. 

“You alright Cathryn?”, Charles asked as she rode up beside him, she nodded but he could tell she didn’t want to talk. “It’s nice finally being able to ride with you, I promise when we move to our new camp, I’ll take you out tracking.”, Cathryn smiled at Charles, everyone was right, he was sweet. She thought to herself that even if her and Arthur had argued, at least she made a new friend in Charles. Charles looked around the shore of the lake they had stopped near. “The tracks continue along the shoreline. Shouldn’t be too far now I reckon.”, Cathryn nodded and they rode slowly, keeping an eye out for any potential trouble. They made their way through a forest, following a small trail and rain started to pour down on them. “Gotta move quickly before the tracks are gone...”, and as if by magic they came across a clearing with a camp. “There look! Quickly, get off your horses.”, Cathryn hid Rosemary in some of the trees surrounding the camp and waited until Charles and Arthur were ready. She looked out at the camp. 

“This is actually a really nice location for a camp...better than Dewberry Creek anyway.”, Cathryn noted and Arthur nodded. 

“It would do nicely. If we could clear it out then it would be ideal.”, Cathryn looked around, there didn’t seem to be anyway in the camp but they should be cautious. The trio crept into the camp; Cathryn felt safe around Charles, as if he could sense danger a mile away. He stood up as they got to the camp and looked around. 

“There’s no one here, except that guy over there...”, he pointed and Cathryn focused her eyes to see a man wriggling on the ground in the distance. She ran over to him, he had been tied together and gagged but he looked terrified. “He must be our guy...”, Cathryn quickly untied him and took the gag from his mouth. 

“It’s a trap!”, the man shouted and all of a sudden there was a shower of bullets on them. They quickly found their way to cover and looked to the horizon, thankfully no one had been shot. Three men started to run towards the camp, Cathryn looked up quickly and fired her shotgun, watching it go through the man's chest. Arthur managed to take out the other two quickly. More started to ride in, fastly approaching on horses. Cathryn took a shot but missed, another and missed, he was too fast. She looked at the horse and apologised in her head, shooting it and watching it groan in pain tumbling to the floor and squashing its rider to death on impact. She took out her pistol and made her way to another cover, shooting two more men in the head. It was done. There was no one left. Charles ran over to the man they had found whilst Arthur began to loot the bodies. 

“It’s alright we’re getting you out of here.” Charles said to the man. Cathryn ran over to him. 

“Don’t worry. We’ll get you back to your family in no time.”, she said softly and the man smiled. “Arthur, can you go and find Dutch, tell him we have a new home for him.”, Arthur looked at her and nodded, she could tell that he felt bad about what he said but Cathryn wasn’t going to apologise. She wouldn’t be treated cruelly just because she cared. She watched him walk over to his horse and ride towards Valentine. 

“Thank you, friends. Thank you very much.”, the man said gratefully. 

“It’s no problem, come on, I’ll take you back.”, Cathryn gestured to her horse and the man quickly got onto it. “Charles, I’ll take him back, did you want to defend the camp and start setting it up? I’ll come back when I’m done.”, Charles nodded and sat down on one of the wagons, while Cathryn made her way back to the mans family. The man began to speak some German but Cathryn couldn’t understand him. “Any idea why those men took you?”, she hoped he could understand her. 

“Geld...Money...”, the man answered, then he began speaking German again. Cathryn thought for a moment, he didn’t look like a rich man, but there must be more to this family...after a while he began to recognise where he was going and became excited, once again speaking in German, but at least he seemed jolly. 

“I’m sorry friend, I can barely speak English...”, the man apologised. 

“It’s alright, you’ll be home soon...”, the man nodded, he seemed to understand. They made their way through the fields until they reached a wagon with some familiar faces, it was his family. The man started speaking in German again, jumping off the horse before she fully stopped and running towards his family, pulling them into an embrace. Cathryn smiled sadly, she was glad she could reunite the family, but it just brought back painful memories of her own. What she would give to see them again...The family then began speaking to Cathryn, she could tell they were grateful but all Cathryn could do was smile, she wished she could understand them. The man then raised a hand, quickly going to his wagon, reaching under the wagon by the wheel and bringing out a bar of solid gold. 

“Thank you.”, he said. Cathryn looked at the gold bar, in amazement. She had never seen one before, it was beautiful. The family then climbed on top of their wagon and rode off towards the horizon, the small children turning back and waving at her. Cathryn smiled, as she watched them, in that moment she wanted nothing more than their happiness.


	18. The Build-up

“Screw you Dutch! Screw you!”, Molly was heard screaming at the top of her lungs on the first night in their new camp. Cathryn opened the tent she was sharing with Mary-Beth, Tilly and Karen to see her storming out of Dutch’s tent. He followed her out but she was stumbling around. 

“She’s been drinking again...”, Karen mumbled to the girls. They looked on, noticing how everyone was doing the same. 

“Molly! Calm down...”, Dutch tried to say, reaching out for her to stop walking away but she just lunged at him, slapping him the face. 

“We are done Dutch van der Linde! Done I say! I loved you! I loved you!”, she was becoming hysterical now, sobbing and screaming, her voice becoming more nasally. “I am worth more than you! More than her! More than everyone here! I got more worth in my little finger than all of you do combined!”, her arms were waving in the air now, Cathryn could see Arthur moving closer, possibly trying to calm down the situation. 

“Molly please...go walk around, calm down...we will talk about this tomorrow.”, Cathryn was quite confused how he managed to keep his cool around Molly, anyone else and he would have probably punched them in the face. 

“Fuck you Dutch...Fuck you...”, and with that she ran to the shore-line, crying all the way. Karen put some more clothes on, ready to head out. 

“I’m gonna go find out what happened...”, the girls nodded. 

“I’ll come with you...”, Cathryn said but Karen stopped her from moving. 

“That’s a bad idea. She’s drunk and angry, most likely at you as well as Dutch...”, Cathryn sighed, looking back at Dutch who was pacing around, talking to Arthur and Hosea, before nodding. “I promise I’ll tell you what I know.”, Karen said, patting Cathryn's arm gently. 

“Thank you...”, Karen nodded, standing up and leaving her tent, following the same direction as Molly. 

“I’ve never seen her like that before...”, Mary-Beth said after a period of uncomfortable silence, no one was ready to sleep, Cathryn just kept watching Dutch. 

“Really? She’s been getting more and more unhinged, it was only a matter of time...”, Tilly responded, staring at Cathryn. “Are you okay Cathryn?”, Cathryn fell out of her trance, glancing at both Tilly and Mary-Beth, she looked down the ground. 

“I never imagined this happening when I came back, I wanted to be friends with Molly, I wanted things back to the way they were. But now I know that’s never going to happen, it’s taken me long enough to realise.”, Mary-Beth laid on her stomach, her head in her hands. 

“So are you and Dutch together then? Did he break up with her?”, Cathryn shrugged. 

“I don’t know, I guess so. I’ve never done this before...I never thought it would be this messy.” 

“Sometimes the best romances are!”, Mary-Beth got back up, reaching into her bag and pulling out some books. “Almost all the books I read have some mess in them! If they didn’t they would be boring! Maybe they can help you out.”, Cathryn took the books graciously. 

“Thank you, Mary-Beth, I really appreciate it.”, Mary-Beth smiled as Karen came back into the tent. She looked at the girls, sighed, took a swig from her flask and sat on her cot. 

“Well...it’s hot gossip let me tell you...”, Karen said, the girls gathered around her, demanding to know what happened. “So apparently, Molly has known for a while that Dutch’s eye has trailed to the lovely Cathryn.”, she gestured dramatically. “She’s mentioned it a few times to him but he denied it of course, made her feel stupid. She’s seen him staring at you, always talking about you...and it’s gotten worse.”, Cathryn sighed, she thought about the night she was with Dutch, she still hadn’t told anyone but Arthur. “So, she began to turn to more crude methods...trying to be some lady of the night or whore for him...”, Cathryn grimaced, the thought of what she might have done to please him made her stomach churn. “He finally reciprocated tonight and in the throes of passion he called out a name...not Molly's though...”, Karen went to stare at Cathryn, whose mouth dropped to the floor. Everyone was staring at her. “Apparently he was grunting yours...when she heard it everything kicked off as you saw...” 

“Oh my god!” Tilly shouted, “how embarrassing!”, Karen nodded in agreement. 

“I’d stay away from her Cathryn, at least until she’s become sober...”, Cathryn nodded, whilst she doubted Molly would physically hurt her, any attack would be taken personally by Dutch. 

“How are any of us going to sleep now?”, Mary-Beth asked, lying on her cot and staring upward. 

“I have no clue...”, Cathryn sighed, peaking out the tent once more to look at Dutch, seeing him staring right back at her. 

*** 

The next day started bright and early, everyone was talking about what happened last night and Cathryn could feel everyone's eyes staring at her. She just wanted a break from everyone but knew the camp needed settling so there would be no solitude today. Perhaps she would go to Rhodes for a bath tomorrow, that would take away the nerves. Drinking her coffee, she saw Arthur coming up towards her. 

“Manage to get any sleep?”, he asked softly, taking his own cup. 

“Not really...”, she said, staring up at him. “Have I done something wrong? Could I have done anything differently?”, Arthur shook his head. 

“You couldn’t have stopped this, no one could have. It’s not your fault...”, Cathryn sighed, nodding and sipping her coffee. “Stay away from the docks, Molly’s not left them since last night. I’m off with Dutch and Hosea to do some fishing, don’t want this camp ripped to shreds by the time we get back.” 

“Okay...I may help Ms. Grimshaw.” 

“Sounds like a good idea...”, they sat there in silence as Arthur finished his coffee. “Well I’m off, take care Cathy...”, she smiled at Arthur, waving as he left. When she finished her own coffee she got up and made her way to Ms. Grimshaw. 

“Hey, any work I can help with?”, Ms. Grimshaw looked at her in shock but then nodded and gestured to a pile of clothes. They needed washing and drying, Cathryn took a pile into the tub, beginning to scrub them. The air was tense between the two, she knew Ms. Grimshaw wanted to say something, but she wouldn’t push it. 

“So...you and Dutch? Can’t say I’m surprised...”, she mumbled to herself more than to Cathryn. 

“I am...”, Cathryn responded and Ms. Grimshaw looked at her. 

“Are you okay? You don’t have to be with him. I’ve seen what he does to girls, puts them up and breaks them down, Molly isn’t the first.”, she looked almost vulnerable, sat there scrubbing clothes. 

_Cathryn woke up, hearing strange noises coming from the other side of the abandoned house they were staying in. She snuck out of bed in her oversized night dress and out into the corridor, trying not to make a sound. The floorboards creaked but the noise didn’t stop. As she found the source of the noise, coming from Ms. Grimshaw's room, she saw a moving mass on the bed. The door hadn’t been completely shut but it was pitch black inside._

_“Oh fuck...”, she heard a groan, it was Dutch, she knew it._

_“Dutch...”, was another voice, it was full of breath, it was Ms. Grimshaw though it sounded nothing like her. She watched the two for a moment, caught like a dear in fright, her feet unable to move, her eyes unable to look away. She heard Dutch groan again, the most guttural sound, imprinted in her mind forever and she jumped backwards, hitting a loose floorboard that creaked loudly on impact. The noises stopped and Cathryn ran back into her room, hiding under the blanket Dutch had given her. She heard footsteps come to her door, opening it slowly, the figure stood there._

_“Cathy?”, it was Dutch, but she refused to speak, her stomach felt heavy. He came further into the room, kneeling down and pulling back the blanket. She still refused to acknowledge she was awake. She heard Dutch sigh as he brushed tight curls from her face. He then kissed her softly on the temple, got up and walked out. It was the last night she saw the two of them together._

“I know...” Cathryn replied, unsure of how to respond to Ms. Grimshaw’s statement. The two looked at each other but then continued their work. 

“Dutch is...” 

“Can we please stop talking about Dutch.”, Cathryn said firmly. “I’m sick of it, sick of people seeing Dutch when they see me. Whether they stay away or they gossip...” 

“If you are with Dutch that’s what it will be, there’s no changing that!”, Ms. Grimshaw warned. “Whether you like it or not Dutch is the leader of this group, his word is law and no one in this camp would do anything to betray or anger him.”, Cathryn sighed, tired of this conversation and thankful when she hears Arthur, Dutch and Hosea return with lots of fish. She dropped the clothes she was washing and walked over to them. 

“This camp will feast tonight, bring our spirits up!”, Hosea said proudly as he passed the fish to Mr. Pearson. “Ah Cathy, you missed out!” 

“I was never very good at fishing Hosea, not like you anyway...”, Cathryn smiled. Dutch walked over to her. 

“What about when you went with Jack?”, he asked, pulling out a cigar. Cathryn shivered at his closeness but tried her best to look him in the eye. 

“It’s fun to do if you want to relax, but if you recall I never caught anything...”, Dutch smirked as he lit his cigar, breathing in the fumes. “You were gone for a long time...” she said, to Arthur more than Dutch. 

“Miss me?”, Dutch asked, Cathryn rolled her eyes and turned to Arthur. 

“We encountered some lawmen on the roads, had no idea who we were and helped them catch a few guys. Now we’re basically heroes to the town of Rhodes!”, Cathryn laughed at the thought. “We also bumped into a friend of ours, Trelawny, you may see him around camp sometimes.”, she nodded, she would have to remember that name. She felt a large hand rest itself on the small of her back, she turned to find Dutch even closer, the smoke of his cigar flying over their heads. 

“He’s a fancy showman fellar...one of the best con-men I know...but he prefers to work alone a lot of the time.”, he stared at her, thumb rubbing up and down slowly, trying to gage a reaction but Cathryn refused to give him the satisfaction. 

“Well I look forward to meeting him...”, a flicker of a frown fell upon Dutch’s face. 

“Seems there are two feuding families here, the Greys and the Braithwaite's. Rumours of lots of gold, it’s our closest lead...”, Arthur mentioned, unaware of the events happening between Dutch and Cathryn. 

“Well it’s something...”, Cathryn said, her back feeling more and more numb as Dutch continued to rub slowly. Arthur nodded then moved away to his tent, leaving the pair alone. 

“I think it’s time we had that chat...”, Dutch whispered in her ear. Cathryn forced a smile and span around to face Dutch. 

“Maybe some other time, I’m off to Rhodes.”, and quickly, to avoid any further confrontation she made her way to her horse on the other side of camp, grateful that he decided not to chase after her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is going to be....funnnn


	19. Eruption

“Cathryn!”, she heard a shout before she managed to get on Rosemary, she looked behind to see Sadie Adler. They hadn’t had the chance to speak yet, Sadie had been quiet for the entire time Cathryn knew her. Seemingly she was now coming out of her shell. “Cathryn, can I come with you to Rhodes?” 

“Yeah sure...”, she said. 

“Oh no you don’t!”, Another voice shouted, it was Mr. Pearson. 

“Come near me sailor and I will slice you up!”, Sadie hissed, grabbing the knife from her belt and showing it to him. Mr Pearson jumped back. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Cathryn shouted, trying to get through the noise. She had never seen Sadie so worked up before. 

“I’m not chopping vegetables for a living!” Sadie shouted at Mr. Pearson, then looked towards Cathryn. She almost looked incredibly fustrated, as though she were about to burst. “Look my husband and I, we shared the work, all of it. I worked in the fields; I could hunt. I carried a knife and a gun; I know how to use them. If I stay here, doing nothing but chopping vegetables then I’m gonna skin the fat old coot and serve him for dinner.”, Cathryn raised her eyes in surprise and looked over to Mr. Pearson. 

“Anything you need from Rhodes Mr. Pearson? I’m gonna take Sadie along with me...”, Mr Pearson sighed but then brought over a list and a letter. 

“Fine, get these for me and send this letter off at the post-office.”, Cathryn took the letter and gestured for Sadie to follow her. 

“Thank you, Cathryn...”, Sadie said. 

“No problem, I did my fair share of work with Mr Pearson, definitely not worth it.”, Sadie smiled as they climbed onto the wagon. Cathryn quickly looked back to camp, unable to find Dutch and started to move. As they made their way through the trees Sadie started looking around. 

“Where’s that letter?”, Cathryn looked at her confused. 

“You gonna read Mr. Pearsons mail?”, Sadie scoffed. 

“Ahh, robbing and killing is okay but reading mail is where we draw the line?”, Cathryn chuckled and passed Sadie the letter. She lowered her voice and began to read the letter. 

“Dear Aunt Cathy... Hey it’s your name!”, Cathryn laughed at the accent. “I haven’t heard from you in some time, so I prayed to the Lord above that your health has no deteriorated further...blah blah blah...this is pretty boring...oh here we go...Since we last corresponded, I have travelled widely, making no small name for myself. Before you ask, I am still yet to take a wife, but I can assure you it’s not from lack of suitors!”, Cathryn fell into a fit of laughter, Sadie joining in in as they entered the small town of Rhodes. 

“What a sad man...”, Cathryn said as she parked up the wagon and jumped off. “How about you take this list and money and get us the food we need, I’m gonna go and send this letter. No funny business, we can’t attract any attention.” Sadie nodded, smiling at Cathryn and making her way to the shop. Cathryn looked around, looked like there was a hotel up ahead that had a bathhouse. It sounded like the perfect way to unwind, she would have a look later. She walked into the train station and towards the Clerk. 

“How can I help you madam?”, the man asked politely. 

“I’d like to post this letter.”, she handed the letter to the Clerk who nodded. 

“No trouble at all...” 

“Thank you.” Cathryn smiled and left the train-station, slowly wandering back to the wagon when she saw a familiar face. “Arthur? What are you doing here?”, Arthur turned around and smiled. 

“Hey Cathy, needed some gun oil and bullets...you?” 

“Just some chores...I’m waiting on Ms. Adler to come back with Pearson’s groceries...”, Arthur nodded, looking around Rhodes. 

“So, she hasn’t killed him yet?”, Cathryn smiled, shaking her head. 

“Managed to avoid that one before I left...”, Arthur chuckled and looked to his left, watching Sadie Adler come out of the store in a new bright yellow shirt. 

“Come on! My sister has more strength than you, my sister’s baby too who came out bright blue!”, she yelled at the store assistant who was carrying her groceries into the wagon. When he finished putting it all in he wiped his sweaty red forehead. 

“Think that’s everything...”, Sadie nodded and tossed him a coin. “Uh, thanks?”, he responded and Sadie groaned. 

“Give it back if you don’t like it!”, but the man scurried back into the shop like a mouse. Arthur chuckled at the exchange. “Alright...I’m done here...let’s go!” 

“Actually, I was gonna take a look around Rhodes. You two can head back though, I’m sure you’ll get along nicely!” She smirked as she pictured the two riding off in the wagon together. Sadie looked at Arthur, shrugging and then got on the wagon, Arthur followed. 

“Thanks for taking me out Cathryn. I appreciate it.”, Sadie said. 

“Anytime Sadie, look after Arthur will you!”, Cathryn shouted as they drove away, winking at Arthur who scowled at her. She laughed and turned around, ready to explore Rhodes. It was a nice quiet town, a bit too hot and dry for her liking but beggars can’t be choosers. Thankfully everyone she met so far had been sweet to her, some towns she had travelled through in the past had been wary of strangers. She made her way to the Rhodes Parlour House. It was a grand building for such a small place, and not as drunken or loud as many of the other saloons she had been in. She tried to stay away from Saloons as much as possible, drunken men weren’t the safest people to be around. She walked inside and was greeted by a well-dressed gentleman. 

“Hello Madam, what can I do for you this evening?”, Cathryn smiled and looked around. 

“Do you have any baths available?”, the man nodded. 

“Of course! We’ll have one drawn for you straight away!”, Cathryn thanked the man and waited until he signaled for her to go through to the bath house. She made her way inside, thankful that there seemed to be no one else there and made her way into one of the small rooms. Inside was a large tub, steam rising from the hot water. It smelled sweeter in here, the receptionist must have asked the workers to add some oils to the bath. More customary for female than male guests and Cathryn loved it. She slowly began to strip down, smelling her clothes and grimacing at the sweat that covered them, she definitely wasn’t built for the warmer weather. Once she was naked, she pulled her hair down from the ponytail she wore it in and combed through the knots, she always loved her curly hair but it became knotted easily, she should invest in a better brush. Once done she stepped into the hot bath, sighing on impact and slowly submerging herself, the water reached to the top of her breasts, thankfully covering her should one of the bath workers come in. That service was more for men though than women, apparently, they needed someone to help them wash. After a few moments she felt her muscles unwind, closing her eyes and enjoying the water lapping at her chest. Suddenly she heard the door open slowly. 

“I didn’t ask for any extras...”, she said, her eyes still closed, hoping the intruder would leave. 

“Well that’s a relief...”, Cathryn’s eyes opened widely as she saw Dutch wander into the room, looking around and leaning on the table her clothes were dumped on. She was in complete shock, though more angry than embarrassed that he decided to invade her privacy. 

“Dutch what the fuck are you doing? Get out!”, he smiled, looking at her. 

“I told you we were going to have that chat...”, Cathryn sighed, suddenly aware that his gaze was on her. Thankfully he was staring at her face rather than her chest, she refused to show signs of fear and so made no effort to cover herself up. She had a feeling he would enjoy that sight. 

“Then go ahead...let’s get this over with.”, he stared at her for a moment, as if he was trying to read her expression but upon finding nothing he sighed, slowly shrugging off his black jacket. 

“What’s gotten you so worked up Cathy?”, he folded his jacket neatly on the chair next to him. “I don’t believe I deserve such hostility...”, Cathryn sighed, she had to tell him she knew. 

“I know what happened the night Sean came back, I remember everything now.”, Dutch smirked as he began to neatly fold his right sleeve up to his elbow. 

“Oh, you do? Finally. I was wondering when you would remember. I could tell that you blacked out the moment I saw you the morning after, I was hoping for a blush and I received a blank look on your face...”, he finished folding up his first sleeve and started on the second. 

“You enjoy that huh? Taking advantage of girls whilst their drunk?”, Dutch chuckled to himself. 

“You make it sound so evil, as if you didn’t want it. I know you did, and you know you did. Finally, you were in a state of freedom where you no longer cared of the consequences, when you no longer cared what other people thought of you.”, he finished rolling up his left sleeve and looked at her. “In that moment you were your truest self...” 

“Fine. I did want you but that doesn’t mean I want things to change. I won’t be another Molly for you to toss aside, I won’t be a substitute for Annabelle either.”, Dutch looked taken aback by the final statement. He tilted his head to the side, thought for a moment and chuckled. 

“Believe me you aren’t like Molly and it’s funny you should mention Annabelle though you seem to have it confused...”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows, hoping he would continue. He looked down at his hands and slowly began to take his rings off, placing them carefully on the table, perfectly aligned with each other. “When you left, I looked for you for over a year, I was almost mad. Hosea finally stopped me, helped me see sense that you were likely never coming back. That same night I saw her, Annabelle, looked just like you but a lot closer to my age.”, Cathryn stared at Dutch as he took his watch off. “Annabelle was your substitute. Not the other way around.”, Cathryn felt her heart hammering in her chest. 

“But you loved her, and I was only a child...that’s sick...”, she saw him clench his jaw, glaring at her. 

“Don’t paint me as some fucking villain. I never thought of you in that way, not at the time, something clicked when I saw Annabelle. I did love her, but only because I loved you first.” 

“So, if I had never left? Things wouldn’t be like this?”, Dutch sighed and shook his head. 

“Now I never said that. I loved you Cathy...you were the most precious thing in the world to me.”, He came closer to the bath-tub. “Would I have fallen for you as you grew older? In all honesty, I can’t imagine any other scenario...”, he kneeled down, reaching forward to brush a curl out of Cathryn's face. 

“So, it’s inevitable then?”, Dutch nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving Cathryn’s. 

“That night when Sean came back...I’ve never felt anything so strong. In fact, I’m hoping I can correct your memory fully...”, his right hand came into the tub, his fingers dancing on the surface of the water, never submerging them. Cathryn was too afraid to watch his hand, all she could do was stare at Dutch. “I wanted to know you, I wanted to know you fully.”, his hand went further into the water, holding onto her ankle, she flinched slightly at the contact. “Most people think the best way to do that is understand fears but I know that pleasure is also another indicator. So, I made it my mission to learn.”, His hand slowly began to rise up the back of her leg. “I wanted to know how to elicit every blush, every moan, every gasp...”, he began to pull her right leg further apart from her left, still refusing to stop staring at her face. He leaned in closer, his voice hushed, as his hand continued to travel further up. “I want you to be reduced to a quivering mess on the floor.”, he cupped her sex then, Cathryn jolting slightly at the contact but he quickly placed his left hand on her head to keep her still, cooing as if to calm her down. 

“Dutch...”, she whispered, afraid to look at his hand, to acknowledge what it was doing to her. He just smiled, as if nothing was happening. She felt him stroking her softly, her eyes closed, moving her head towards him and he kissed her on the temple. 

“That’s it...just relax...”, his middle finger finding her clit and rubbing it slowly in circles. He kissed her hair again. “Is it all coming back to you now?”, Cathryn nodded quickly and Dutch chuckled under his breath. He kept going, the motion was driving her crazy. His left-hand started to thread itself through her hair. “Now, we need to talk about what’s going to happen when we return to camp...” Cathryn groaned, shaking her head. 

“What? now?”, his grip in her hair went tight as he held her still, a second finger began torturing her. She looked up at him as he nodded, there was no say in this matter, not anymore. 

“Don’t worry, we’re going to do this slowly. I want you to come to me, to live with me, when you’re ready. When you decide. But I must insist on one little thing...”, his hand switched so that his thumb was now rubbing her clit slowly whilst one of his fingers attempted to penetrate her. She moaned, biting her lip to stay quiet, terrified someone would walk in on them. His lips were now touching her red cheek as he whispered to her. “When you find yourself like this, that hot heavy feeling in your stomach, that slick from between your thighs or just that itch that needs to be scratched...you are going to come to me. Whenever that is. And... if you’ve been a good girl I promise you will see stars...”, he angled his hand as his finger moved within her, his thumb now directly stimulating her clit. She began to pant, everything was so hot, she could hardly breath. “But if you’ve been disobedient...”, his hand then removed himself from her. She sat up in shock, her face betraying her disappointment. “I’ll make you beg for it...”, he then finally lowered his gaze to her breasts, watching as the erect nipples brushed against the rippling water. 

“Please...”, she whimpered, ashamed at being reduced to this mess. 

“Please what?”, he asked, his face deadly serious. She panted, breathing in and out. The pain between her legs was unbearable, is this what he had done to her that night? She never felt anything like it. 

“Please don’t stop Dutch...”, he sighed, playing with the water again. 

“Thing is Cathy...you’ve not been a very good girl...you’ve been incredibly rude and disrespectful...” 

“I’ll be good, please.”, he looked up at her, raising his eyebrows in question. “I promise...whatever you want...”, a small smile started to form on his smug face. 

“That’s a dangerous promise...but I’m up for the deal...”, he came closer, his hand threatening to return to the wet mess between her legs. “I want you to kiss me, like you mean it...”, Cathryn stared at him, his eyes were almost black with desire. Fuck it, she thought, she had enough of this painful limbo. She quickly moved forwards, kissing him passionately on the lips, her arms wrapping around his neck. He groaned in pleasure as he moved his hand back to where it belonged. She lit on fire the moment he touched her, as if the pause had weakened her even further. Within moments she came apart, her orgasm exploding from her, like nothing else she had ever felt before. Dutch kept his lips on hers, silencing her moans as he kept softly stroking her through her orgasm, it was too much for her but she had no choice but to endure it. When he finally had his fill, he removed his hand from between her legs and patted his arm dry with a towel. She leaned against the tub, her head all the way back, hair touching the floor, trying to catch her breath. 

“That was...”, she tried to say but couldn’t find the words. Dutch chuckled under his breath. 

“I know sweet-heart. I know...”, he walked back over to his belongings, rolling down his sleeves and putting his watch and rings back on. When she finally got her breath back, Cathryn sat up to stare at Dutch. 

“What now?”, He turned around, a huge smirk on his face as he put on his jacket. 

“Now you rest.”, he put his hand in his pocket and produced some dollar notes. “This should cover a hot meal and nice room for tonight.” 

“You don’t want me to come back to camp?”, she asked, incredibly confused. He tutted, shaking his head. 

“Oh, I do, but tomorrow. You need to think on things, without anyone else's opinions...I’ve heard you’ve had a lot of them.”, Cathryn looked down into the tub, he was right, a lot of people seemed to have something to say with regards to her and Dutch. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Have sweet dreams my little kitty cat.”, he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. Without another word he left the bath-house, leaving Cathryn alone in the tepid bath water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmygod...


	20. Exhilarating

Cathryn woke up on a soft bed, sunlight trickling in through the curtains, she had never felt so content. Everything about last night seemed like a dream but she knew it was real, she could still feel it. After Dutch had left her she finished cleaning up and then used the money he gave her to have a hot meal and a nights rest. It felt nice to be looked after, and she couldn’t remember the last time she had a large meal that wasn’t Mr. Pearson’s stew, she even had a piece of pie afterwards which was delicious, she always had a sweet tooth. As she finished getting changed she looked at her clothes in the mirror and the leftover money on the side, she probably had enough for some new clothes now. These trousers were handy with riding and hunting but less comfortable during her days of rest. She loved wearing skirts and dresses but they weren’t terribly convenient with the life she lived. On the way out of the Parlour house she thanked the man at the front desk and made her way to the General Store, sadly there wasn’t an actual Tailor in Rhodes but she would make do. 

“Hello Miss, how may I help you?”, an old man asked her as she entered the store. 

“I’m looking for some new clothes.”, she said softly, smiling at the gentleman. 

“Well of course, here is a catalogue of what we offer...”, he then took the catalogue from behind the desk and showed it to her, opening it to the womenswear. She nodded in thanks and had a look through. There was a dusty red skirt that was available here with a white blouse that looked like it would be nice to wear, especially given the hot weather. The man noticed her looking at it and said, “We also have a waspie that comes with that style, very fashionable these days, not too restrictive like other corsets...”, Cathryn nodded and allowed the man to measure her up, showing her to the changing rooms and offering her the clothes to try on. She slowly stripped and put on the blouse and skirt, they were so soft and smelled so fresh, now it was just for the corset. The shopkeeper was right, she had tried other corsets on before and this one was much more comfortable and easy to adjust. It fit her perfectly, showing off her shape but not holding her in too much. She wondered if Dutch would like it. 

Cathryn shook her head at the thought, why should she care what Dutch thinks? She liked this outfit so she was going to buy it. She went out to show the shopkeeper who smiled at her. 

“It looks beautiful on you Miss, I’ll cash it up for you.”, Cathryn smiled and paid the man, with a bit extra for the good service and left the General store, she just needed a way back into camp now. She looked behind her to the sound of laughter, maybe she did have a way back. There was Dutch and Arthur, laughing to each other, seemingly neither of them had recognised her. 

“Hey boys...”, she said with a smile, for some reason she no longer felt uncomfortable around Dutch, she welcomed the feeling, she felt free. The pair looked to her, staring for a moment at her new outfit. Dutch smiled. 

“My my...what a vision.”, he came closer, asking for her hand, she gave it to him and he twirled her around a few times. “You look radiant today my dear...”, she giggled as she felt increasingly dizzy. 

“I had some spare money from last night so I thought I would spoil myself...”, she looked up at Dutch smiling, he seemed to take the hint that he had apparently invested in the outfit and smirked. 

“Well it suits you...”, Dutch confided and gestured for Arthur to come closer. “My dear let us tell you of our adventures today...we are officially Deputies of Rhodes!”, Cathryn began to laugh at the notion of Dutch and Arthur working for the law. 

“It’s true...”, Arthur said. “was a couple of drunk fools who made the decision but it’s official...we are the law...”, Cathryn smiled as she walked with them, turning around to face them as she walked backwards. 

“Does that mean you’re going to lock me up?”, Dutch smirked. 

“You’re in luck, seems I have a soft spot for you...”, he said. The three of them made their way to their horses. “You didn’t bring Rosemary?”, Dutch asked. 

“I came into Rhodes with Sadie on a wagon.”, Dutch raised his eyebrows. 

“How were you gonna get back?” 

“I don’t know, never thought that far ahead...”, Dutch came closer and tapped her nose with his finger, it was playful but there was seriousness in it. 

“Next time, please do.”, he then picked her up by the waist and placed her on The Count, coming up after her. “You coming back with us Arthur?”, Arthur got on his horse. 

“Yeah sure...”, he watched how Cathryn and Dutch were together, noting how something must have changed. 

“How about a race? Like old times?”, Cathryn asked, glancing between Dutch and Arthur. 

“Sounds like fun, you up for the challenge Arthur?”, Dutch asked, smirking at him. Arthur laughed as he nodded his head. 

“You’re on...”, and without another word the two horses were off, Cathryn laughing in excitement. She held Dutch’s waist tight as they went even faster, The Count was definitely one of the fastest horses she had ever ridden. The ride to the camp wasn’t that long and Dutch was in the lead up until the final stretch, however Arthurs horse quickly accelerated until he passed them at the final few moments. He had won. 

“Well done Arthur.”, Cathryn congratulated, her arms still around Dutch despite the fact they stopped moving. 

“Yes, well done Arthur.”, Dutch said as his left hand came down to stroke one of Cathryn’s arms. She smiled and rested her head on his back. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. As they came closer into camp Cathryn became more unnerved, she lifted her head from Dutch’s body and her arms left his waist, he knew she was pulling away but he didn’t resist. As they hitched up he jumped off The Count and then picked her up by the waist to put her down. “That was fun...”, he said, smiling at her. He then looked around at the camp. “I need to set some things up sweet-heart. Go keep yourself busy.”, His thumb rubbed her cheek and then he was off towards his tent. Cathryn sighed, joy filling her body and almost skipped over to the lake. There was no one around and the weather was so perfect to just relax on the pier. She was about to sit down on the edge when she heard a shrill voice. 

“There you are!”, Cathryn whipped around, it was Molly, as quick as the joy came it left in that moment. Now she was filled with dread. 

“Molly...we should talk...”, Cathryn said calmly, standing up. 

“No...I’m sick of your talking. It’s my turn!”, Molly spit, she was still clearly drunk. 

“Of course, go ahead...”, Cathryn said, her hands raised up. She didn’t want to make her feel threatened. 

“I knew it. I knew it! After all this time, you saying that nothing was happening but it was! I thought you were my friend Cathryn! I thought you understood me! You’re just like the rest of them!”, she pointed towards the camp. 

“Molly, I was your friend. I still want to be your friend...I didn’t mean for this to happen.”, this just made Molly angrier though. 

“Oh fuck off! You think I don’t know what you’re doing? You’re a manipulative little bitch...”, by this time Cathryn could see a crowd starting to form from the corner of her eye. “Well don’t worry. Dutch won’t want you for long! Once he gets what he wants, he’ll dump ya, just like he dumped me! You’re no better than me!”, she screamed. 

“Molly please, I know I’m not better than you...I’m sorry for what happened to you. I really am...”, Molly screamed in frustration. 

“No, you’re not! Stop lying! You don’t care about me! No one does!”, Cathryn could see a figure walking towards them but didn’t want to look away from Molly. “I want them to see you for the monster you are!”, she cried as she grabbed Cathryn by the hair and threw her into the lake. Cathryn screamed, her arms flailing about, the pier was a lot deeper than she thought and she never learnt how to swim. She slowly began to sink as panic filled her, she could hear shouts and screaming above the surface but as she went deeper they became quieter. Her lungs began to burn, almost unbearable when she felt herself being engulfed by a pair of arms. She was dragged towards the surface, gasping for breath as she came to air. She was then lifted up and carried to the shore, she looked up, it was Arthur. She tried to say his name but could only cough. 

“Hey, it’s okay, don’t try to speak, think you swallowed some water...”, Cathryn coughed some more and looked around. Everyone had turned their attention to Molly who was sat on the pier, surrounded by Dutch and Ms. Grimshaw, she could hear Molly’s crying, it sounded horrific. “I told Dutch years ago to teach you how to swim...but did he listen? No...”, Arthur mumbled under his breath as he placed her onto a patch of grass. He grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. 

“You okay?”, he asked, Cathryn nodded, her throat still burning. 

“Yeah...just didn’t expect that...I probably should have.”, Arthur sighed as he looked over to the Pier. Everyone started to disperse, Ms. Grimshaw was dragging Molly into camp and Dutch was making his way over to Cathryn. When he finally arrived, he knelt down and took her face in his hands, just like Arthur had done. 

“Are you alright? I didn’t see much, just that she threw you into the Pier...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“I’m okay, probably would have drowned if Arthur hadn’t saved me.”, she looked at Arthur, taking his hand and smiling, he smiled back. 

“No, I wouldn’t have let that happen. You aren’t getting away from me again.”, Dutch vowed as he kissed the top of her head. “And your new clothes...she will pay I promise...”, Cathryn looked at Dutch as she shook her head. 

“It’s fine, they will dry out. What are you gonna do to her?” 

“Well, had she known that you didn’t know how to swim then the punishment would have been a lot worse but I don’t think she truly understood what she was doing. We’re just gonna keep an eye on her, she’ll start doing work and we’ll try and keep the drink from her. It’s all we can do really...try to stay away from her?”, Dutch asked and Cathryn nodded. She didn’t want another repeat of that. 

“Why not let her go? I don’t think she wants to be here anymore...”, Dutch sighed and looked over to Molly. 

“I can’t Cathy...it’s too much of a risk. She knows all about us, all about you. If she told someone: a Pinkerton or an O’Driscoll it would end badly. I can’t lose you.” 

“What if she promised?”, Cathryn asked, she knew how badly Molly wanted to leave. Dutch shook his head. 

“I don’t trust her sweet-heart. She hates me and she hates you, that’s a motive, I won’t take the risk. Now I don’t want to hear any more of this? Do you understand?”, Cathryn nodded and Dutch sighed. “Good girl.”, He kissed her on the forehead. “Now, I’ve got to go, think you can survive with me not around?” 

“Of course, Dutch...”


	21. True Love

Cathryn slept in her own tent last night, much to the surprise of everyone else in the camp who just assumed she would move in with Dutch. But Dutch had given her a choice and Cathryn was going to take it, she needed time to adjust and so far, despite the collision with Molly, it wasn’t going too bad. So, when she went to go speak to Dutch the next morning, she was in high spirits. He too looked happy that she had come to see him. 

“Hey Darlin’...”, he motioned for her to come closer and she did. He then took hold of her skirts, examining them for any damage. “I’m sorry about your clothes, I can get you some more if you would like?” 

“No, it’s okay, weren’t gonna stay pristine for long!”, she smiled and he returned it. She could see he hadn’t slept well last night, the bags under his eyes were more pronounced. “Are you okay?”, Dutch sighed and stood up, his hands resting on her waist. 

“I’m alright, thank you for asking. Just a lot on my mind right now...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Want some coffee?”, He chuckled under his breath. 

“You are a saint.”, he kissed her cheek and she left his tent, a huge smile on her face, she felt like a love struck teenager. Why had she tried to fight this feeling for so long? She got two cups of hot coffee and by the time she arrived back at his tent Arthur and Hosea were also there. 

“Good Morning Cathy.”, Hosea said curtly, Cathryn nodded and gave Dutch his coffee. He whispered his thanks and took a sip. “We are just discussing our plan for Rhodes...”, Cathryn sat down on one of the chairs, ready to listen. 

“Rhodes is a battleground for two old wealthy families, The Gray’s and the Braithwaite’s. Apparently, one cheated the other and no one can decide who! If we play our cards right, we could play between the two of them, grab ourselves a lot of gold and get out of here...”, Dutch explained. 

“That’s if there is any gold...”, Hosea grumbled and Dutch grunted. 

“There’s gotta be something...and we’re going to find it.”, Dutch said. “Now, me and Arthur have been cozying up to the Gray’s, we are now Deputies in Rhodes. Hosea, I want you to work on the Braithwaite's. Now we just gotta ensure that we stick with the same family, they don’t need to know we are working as part of a larger group. Do we have any other leads?”, Dutch asked, looking at Arthur. 

“Apparently there’s some Gray kid called Beau. Keeps disobeying his family, might be a good place to start...”, everyone nodded. 

“Well I can go...”, Cathryn spoke up, they looked at her. “Who knows? A pretty girl may loosen his tongue.”, Dutch seemed unsure but conceded. 

“Just...stay safe.”, Cathryn nodded. She was excited for her first solo mission, she wanted to see who this Beau Gray was. 

*** 

As she entered the grounds for the Gray family she was taken aback by the grandeur, it did seem like this family had a lot of money. Dutch may be onto something, but Hosea was also right, sometimes old money was just that, old and dying. Still, there had to be something. She was stopped by two guards at the gate. 

“What do you want miss?”, one of them asked. 

“I’m looking for some work, heard Mr. Gray was hiring?”, the two men looked at each other and nodded, allowing her through “Thank you gentlemen...”, thankfully she knew that most men didn’t question the motives of a young woman, especially if their masters had a wandering eye, they wouldn’t want to unknowingly disrespect them. She made her way onto the grounds and hitched up Rosemary. She saw a gardener up ahead and asked for Beau, he pointed her in the direction of the store houses. When she found him, she saw him leaning against the wall of the store house with a letter in his hand. He was shocked by her presence. 

“Oh, hello miss...sorry, we don’t get a lot of girls come through here...”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows. 

“I’m just looking for work.”, she said, smiling softly, Beau nodded. 

“Looking for something? Lots of Yankees around the place recently, are you with them?” 

“Are you always so curious?”, he laughed then and seemed to leave the subject alone. 

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. In fact, I have a secret of my own...”, Cathryn raised an eyebrow, this boy was strange. But if he could help her out then so be it. “The thing is...I don’t care if they kill the whole lot of us...and the Braithwaite’s!”, Cathryn stepped back as if she had been burnt. 

“Now, I don’t want to kill anyone...” 

“I love her you know...”, Oh, Cathryn thought. There was a girl involved. “Penelope, Penelope Braithwaite. But it’s impossible and no one can even explain why...” 

“Love is complicated...”, Cathryn said, she still felt unsure about how Beau trusted her completely to just dump all this intel on her. He was definitely stupid with love. 

“Blind loyalty and stupidity...that’s what this all is! How am I supposed to be loyal to such nonsense when she exists? She’s amazing, a woman from the future! She’s like tomorrow...if tomorrow turns out fine...”, he started to laugh. 

“Need any help?”, Cathryn asked. He seemed like a sweet enough guy and if it could help Dutch out then she would do it gladly. 

“Would you? I’ll pay! Happily!”, she smiled, if they could help each other that was enough. “She loves to sit out on the Gazebo, at Braithwaite Manor...could you give her this?”, Cathryn nodded as she took the letter he handed to her with a small box. “Be careful though, they’re a lot less friendly towards strangers. I would sneak in if I was you...” 

“Okay, thank you Beau, I promise your letter will be delivered safely.”, he nodded, a wide grin on his face. It must have been contagious for she was also smiling, who knew she was a sucker for love? 

*** 

Sneaking through Braithwaite manor hadn’t been as difficult as Beau described. The long grass gave good enough cover for Cathryn as she was only small and the area around the manor was incredibly foggy. Cathryn noticed the gazebo by the edge of the lake on the left side of the manor and so snuck behind the bank, careful to not get wet, she had enough of floundering in water. When looking up she could see a young woman sat in the gazebo, there seemed to be no one else around so Cathryn just stood up and made her way over to who she assumed to be Penelope. 

“Are you Penelope Braithwaite?”, Cathryn asked softly. Penelope didn’t seem phased by this new visitor, she just kept cooling herself with a fan. 

“Why yes, and you are?” 

“I’ve come to deliver this letter and gift to you...”, Cathryn reached into her satchel and brought out the letter and small box, handing them over to Penelope. She looked at them curiously and upon seeing the handwriting became excited. 

“Oh Beau. Thank you. The rest of our families are stuck in the dark ages or something, I don’t know. Cave people I guess!”, she poured a drink and passed it to Cathryn. She nodded in thanks and allowed the cool liquid past her lips, it definitely helped in this humid heat. “Beau is different...but if they ever found out...they’ll kill him and send me somewhere awful like...Ohio. Have you ever been to Ohio?”, Cathryn shook her head. 

“Can’t say that I have...”, Cathryn sat down on the seat opposite Penelope. Beau was right, she was definitely something and Cathryn liked the spunk she had. 

“Neither have I... but my uncle owns a factory there. He was a black sheep, having left here, but now we tolerate him as he’s become a vicious snob! Families are something else I guess...”, Cathryn nodded, looking down on the floor. “Do you have family?”, Cathryn looked up at the rather personal question. 

“Sort of, I lost my real family a long time ago, I have a new one now...”, Penelope nodded and smiled. 

“I just don’t understand, they can tolerate his viciousness with his money but not my ideas as they are above my station!” 

“Ideas are dangerous.”, Cathryn said, Penelope looked up confused. “Ideas give people hope, they give people motivation. Which is dangerous, if your someone who doesn’t want to see the system of life change. Especially if you know you will lose power because of it.”, Penelope nodded, slowly understanding what Cathryn was saying. She then took out another letter. 

“If you see Beau again, will you give this to him?”, Catheryn took the letter, nodding. Silently, she went back around the bank the way she came, thankfully of the fog that clouded her and hitched up on her horse when she saw that no one was watching. She went the long way back, trying not to be seen by any of the guards. It took a while but she finally made it back to Beau, she quite enjoyed helping these two out, they seemed like nice people, they deserved happiness. Beau looked at her with a big smile on his face and came towards her. 

“Did she send anything?”, Cathryn smiled and pulled out a letter, Beau went to grab it but Cathryn held her hand back. 

“I believe you owe me my payment...”, Beau nodded and quickly gave Cathryn a handful of money, she didn’t need to look to see the amount, she knew it would be enough. She handed over the letter and Beau grabbed it, reading it quickly. 

“My god...what a woman...”, Beau whispered as he read the letter, Cathryn watched him, leaning against the stable fence. Who said a woman couldn’t bring a man to his knees? “They’ll kill her for sure...”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows in confusion. “Womens suffrage. I mean round here they don’t even like men voting...”, Cathryn laughed, she never understood the backwardness of the South. 

“I’m sure they’d bring back the monarchy, given a chance...”, Beau nodded in agreement. 

“Progress is a dirty word in these parts...unlike incest...”, Cathryn coughed in surprised. “I don’t want to marry my cousin Mathilda!”, he cried and stormed out the stables, Cathryn followed behind him. “They’ll kill her if she attends one of those rallies! Please, can you help me?”, Cathryn looked around, unsure about how much she wanted to get sucked into this but he looked desperate and she had become fond of the two lovebirds, she wanted them to make it work. “Please, I’ll pay...”, Cathryn looked at Beau, well that was enough incentive. 

“Alright, when is the rally?”, he smiled. 

“Tomorrow at midday in Rhodes, I’ll meet you then, oh thank you!”, he went up to hug her but then realised it was probably improper so stepped back. “Thank you again...”, Cathryn smiled as she left the Gray manor, she had never been to a suffrage movement before.


	22. Suffrage

The next day Cathryn had accidentally slept in due to all the riding she had been doing recently, thankfully no one went to disturb her. When she finally awoke, she quickly got ready, hoping she wouldn’t be too late to the rally. As she ran out her tent and towards Rosemary, she didn’t realise Dutch was running to catch up to her, quickly grabbing her waist and pulling her around so she faced him, consequently she ended up head-butting his chest. 

“Ow!”, she cried, rubbing her red nose. Dutch laughed and released her. 

“Sorry sweetheart, but I did try calling you...”, Cathryn looked up at him, having to cover her eyes from the sun. 

“Sorry, I’m in a rush...”, Dutch placed his hands on his hips. 

“Oh really? Where are you off to? In fact, what were you up to yesterday? You never let me know how it went with Beau Gray...”, Cathryn sighed, looking around, she didn’t want to be rude but she was certain she was going to late. 

“It went well, which is why I need to go now, I promise I will fill you in when I get back...”, Just as she was about to escape Arthur appeared. 

“Well you gotta tell us now...”, Cathryn sighed, why did Arthur always have to put his nose in other people's business, it was like he was constantly stalking her. 

“Fine, I’m helping keep Beau Grays sweetheart safe at the Suffrage rally today in Rhodes, which should be any minute so I should get going or I won’t get paid...”, Dutch stepped forwards, almost laughing. 

“The Suffrage rally? I’m not sure I really want you there...” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Cathryn asked, her voice raised. She prayed in her mind that Dutch wasn’t one of those misogynists that believed women shouldn’t be equal to men. 

“It’s not like that! You know me Cathryn...I don’t even believe in voting...I don’t believe in any system. I just want freedom.”, Cathryn stared at him, still unsure what he was saying. “I just don’t want you getting hurt, Rhodes is a place lost in time where people get angry at the silliest things. When people get angry, they get violent, I don’t want you caught in the cross-fires.” 

“I’m going. I made a promise.”, Cathryn said, standing firm, causing Dutch to frown. 

“Hey Dutch, how about I go with Cathy? I’ll look out for her.”, Cathryn looked at Arthur and then back at Dutch. He finally conceded, nodding his head and walking away. Cathryn smiled at Arthur. 

“Thanks!” 

“Don’t mention it, let’s head off.”, they made their way to the horses, saddled up and began their journey to Rhodes. 

“You believe in women’s suffrage Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, she looked over to see him shrugging. 

“People can do what they want. It’s not my place to tell a person what they can and can’t do, especially with something as harmless as scribbling a line on a piece of paper.”, Cathryn smiled, nodding. 

“If only all men thought like that...”, Arthur chuckled. 

“It’s true. It’s their life, their fault if they screw it up. I want nothing to do with it. What about you?”, Cathryn thought for a moment. 

“I think we should treat all people the same, breaks my heart seeing someone like Tilly or Lenny or Charles treated with disrespect just because of where they come from or what they look like.”, Arthur agreed. 

“It’s a fucked up world we live in...” 

“Well, all we can hope for is that someday it well get better...”, Cathryn said to the sky, as if it were a wish on a star. She looked back to see Arthur staring at her. “What?”, Arthur shook his head, a faint blush on his cheeks. 

“It’s nothing...Look we’re here...” 

*** 

As Cathryn and Arthur met up with Beau they found a wagon with a dozen women surrounding it, Penelope was one of them. She ran up to him, fear in her eyes. 

“Beau, what are you doing here?” 

“I can’t let you go through with this...”, Penelope looked away, shaking her head. “You’ll be killed!” 

“I’m prepared to die for this cause Beau.”, she said with certainty in her eyes, Cathryn had to hand it to her, she was a brave woman. She looked up at Arthur who seemed incredibly confused by this exchange. She would have to fill him in later. Beau looked at us, gesturing as if to stop her but Cathryn just shrugged, did he think she was going to stop her? 

“I ain’t stopping this mob son...they’d eat me alive...”, Arthur said, a small smirk on his face, Cathryn laughed under her breath. 

“No... they need protecting from certain elements, mostly my family.”, he grabbed Penelope’s hand again. “Penelope please listen to me...”, Penelope groaned and looked around. 

“I’ll tell you what, how about your friend drives the wagon for us?”, she said pointing to Arthur. “Then we can shout all the louder! You can join if you want?”, she offered to Cathryn. 

“Sounds like fun. You’ll protect me, won’t you Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, turning to face him. Arthur stared a moment and nodded, though she could tell he didn’t want to be here at all. Penelope grinned and grabbed Cathryn’s arm, dragging her to the leader of the rally. 

“Ms. Calhoon...I’ve brought another woman to help us with our cause, and her friend is going to help drive the wagon!”, The older woman, Ms. Calhoon walked towards us, full of grace and dignity. 

“Well...Olive Calhoon...”, she introduced, offering her hand to Arthur to shake. “Normally I like to drive myself but today I feel like a man joining us sends the right message!”, the women went to climb on the wagon, Penelope offering Cathryn a white sash with a gold trim, Cathryn put it on quickly, twirling for Arthur to see. 

“Well...I’ve never been to a protest march before madam.”, Arthur said as he sat up front on the wagon 

“Just treat us like the sheep and those attacking us like wolves...”, Ms. Calhoon said as she sat next to him. Cathryn got on the back of the wagon with the rest of the ladies. “I’m sure you’ll feel right at home!”, Arthur began to move the wagon. “Alright ladies, we know our song is a good one and we know our cause is a pure one.”, Beau rode behind them on horseback as the woman began to sing, Cathryn didn’t know the words but fell in love with the emotion and drive that these women felt. She could hear it as they sang. As they drove slowly through the town more women began to join, running by the wagon with their white sashes, they also sang along. They drove past the parlour house and she saw men jeering from the balcony, shouting insults, yet they just rebounded from the strength the women created. They stopped in front of the bank, drawing a large crowd of onlookers, the women getting off the wagon and making their way to the steps. 

“Looks like the circus is in town!”, one man cried but the women took no notice of him. “Shut up!” and “What the hell are you doing here?!”, the mob shouted, as if they were a pack of rabid dogs. The women threw up their signs and began to chant for women’s rights, Cathryn looked at Arthur smiling. She was living off the energy this group had. It made her feel alive. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen...”, Ms. Calhoon addressed the crowd. “This is a great day for all of us. For today is the day we begin to live as equals!”, Everyone shouted, Cathryn cheering with the women. 

“This is unnatural!”, one man shouted. “This is nonsense!”, the men behind him started jeering. 

“Fair! Equal! Free! Just as the founding fathers intended!”, Ms. Calhoon cried, the women chanting the three objectives. Fair. Equal. Free. Fair. Equal. Free. 

“Founding fathers! Not founding mothers! You silly old goat!”, the men began to joke. Cathryn, out of the corner of her eye noticed two men walking towards Beau, they didn’t seem friendly either. “What the hell are you doing here boy?”, she heard one of the men interrogate. She looked over to Arthur and gestured to Beau, he seemed to understand and made his way over to them “You’ll learn yourself some manners cousin!” The fat man shouted at Beau, everyone else shushing to be quiet. Cathryn watched as Arthur interrupted them, pointing to the side of the building and walking over with Beau and the two men. She had no idea where they were going but she still had Rosemary tied up at the outskirts of Rhodes. So, she just relaxed and enjoyed the protest. 

“For too long we have been seen as subservient, as lesser beings to men. But it is us who bring men into the world! It is us who teach them how to live, how to survive! It is us they pursue for love! It is us they fight wars for! We are not weak! We are not objects! We are living, breathing, powerful beings and they cannot stop us, they cannot suppress half of the population.”, Cathryn cheered, jumping in the air with her fist raised. “I will not go down without a fight, and neither should you. Not for yourselves or your sisters or your children! I will fight for this cause with my dying breath!”, More women began to join in, more men began to stay silent. “We will not be bystanders to this tragedy. We will not be complacent. We are fighters. We fight for freedom!” 

*** 

“Thank you for joining me Cathryn.”, Penelope said as they walked out of Rhodes together. “I feel as if I found myself a true friend.”, Cathryn smiled, placing a hand on Penelope’s arm. 

“A friend for life.”, Penelope pulled her into an embrace and finally let go, allowing Cathryn to jump onto Rosemary. She waved goodbye as she started to ride away and was joined by Arthur who was waiting on the outskirts of Rhodes. 

“Have fun?”, he asked, taking a sip of drink. He passed her the money Beau had promised, she thanked him. 

“The most...I’ve never felt so alive...”, Cathryn said, her smile unable to leave her face. “Where did you run off to?” 

“I was babysitting Beau, trying to keep him away from his cousins...”, there was silence for a moment. “I’m starting to think there isn’t any gold...”, Cathryn frowned. 

“We need to tell Dutch...I think the same as well...” 

“He isn’t going to be too happy...”, Arthur grunted. 

“Still better to tell him the truth.”, Arthur nodded, “Thank you again, for helping me.”, Arthur smiled, looking off into the distance. 

“You know I can’t refuse you anything...”, Cathryn looked down, a faint blush on her cheeks. Why was she feeling a flicker of warmth in her stomach? They stayed silent for the rest of the journey, making their way into camp as the sun started to set. As they got off their horses, they looked at each other. “Well, it was definitely interesting today...”, Arthur said, Cathryn laughed, looking to the floor. 

“Definitely.”, she looked back at him. “Arthur, about the other day, when we found this camp...”, Arthur shook his head. 

“No, don’t apologise. I was just angry; I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”, Cathryn frowned. 

“You know you can tell me anything Arthur.”, Arthur nodded, they were still just stood there, staring at each other. 

“You too.”, Cathryn smiled. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, she jumped back and span around, it was Dutch. 

“There you two are, I was beginning to worry.”, he looked up from Cathryn to Arthur, a smile on his face that didn’t full reach his eyes. “Come on darlin’, I want you to tell me all about this Rally...”, his arm went around her shoulders, leading her to his tent, away from Arthur. 

“It was fun, I had a good time.”, Cathryn said, smiling at Dutch. 

“Good, I’m glad.”, they stopped off at his tent, he turned around to face her, holding onto her hands. She stared at him, curious to what he wanted to say. “I just wanted to see how you were, and to remind you that you are always welcome here. Whenever you’re ready...”, his hand then went to her cheek, caressing it softly, Cathryn closed her eyes, breathing in and out. She opened her eyes. 

“Thank you Dutch but not tonight, I’m sorry, I’m just not ready...”, Dutch’s face was emotionless, which surprised Cathryn, she was worried he would be upset or angry but his walls were up. He stepped forward and kissed her on the forehead, it was a long kiss, as if he was savouring the moment. What she didn’t see was Dutch staring straight at Arthur as he did it. He then stepped back a smile on his face. 

“You have nothing to worry about my dear, I told you. I want this to be your choice.”, his hands went on her shoulders. “It’s getting late, we should talk about this all tomorrow. Have sweet dreams little one.”, he then placed a soft kiss under her ear, sending shockwaves through her body, he looked back, noting the reaction and smirked, before entering his tent. Cathryn stood there for a moment, staring at the tent, suddenly unsure whether she should enter it or not but after a while she took a step back and retreated to her own space.


	23. Vulnerability

The next morning Cathryn went straight for Arthur as she saw him tending to his horse, he was talking to Bill, Karen and Lenny. As she came up everyone stared at her. 

“Hey Cathy...”, Arthur said. 

“Mornin’ everyone. Whatcha up to?”, Bill looked unsure, as if he were scared to tell Cathryn what was going on but Karen was more than happy for an extra girl to join the group. 

“We wanna rob the bank in Valentine!”, Karen said excitedly, Bill groaned, rubbing his red forehead with his hands. 

“Valentine? Didn’t we decide not to go back there?”, Cathryn asked, surely they would kill them on sight for the shoot-out they caused there, it didn’t sound safe. 

“It’s unfinished business, blame Arthur for us not getting to do it in the first place!”, Bill shouted. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault. Just one of them things...”, Arthur said calmly, staring at Bill. This just seemed to rile Bill up even more. 

“How come every time I get into trouble I’m called a fool and an idiot but when you get into trouble it’s just one of those things?”, Cathryn expected everyone to laugh but they looked serious, seems like it wasn’t only Bill that felt this way. 

“It is a good point Arthur...”, Lenny said, Karen agreeing with him. 

“So come on, let’s hit that bank...you coming Cathryn?”, Karen asked, and after thinking a moment she nodded. Sounded like it would be fun and she had enough people to protect her. Surely Dutch wouldn’t mind? Karen squealed in delight and jumped off the wagon towards her horse. Bill and Arthur took the front. Cathryn looked at Karen, she was dressed up real nice, she was obviously there to put on a show. Karen saw her looking. “The plan is to get in and out quick. With five of us it should be easy, it’s the end of stock season so that means a lot of money, we can’t linger though or the law will be on us.” 

“A lot of them?”, Cathryn asked as they began to head out. Karen shook her head. 

“Nah, just some local boys who have been pushed into the job, but like I said, the aim is quick and quiet.”, As they left the forest she saw Bill coming closer to her. 

“We’ve done a lot of research into this one, I know it’s your first bank job but it will go fine.”, Cathryn nodded, she oddly felt reassured by Bills statement, he had never been the kind of guy who seemed supportive but right now he seemed very kind. 

“So, what’s the plan?”, Arthur shouted as they rode across the plains. The group formed closer together so they wouldn’t have to shout over long distances, to stop unwanted ears from listening. 

“We’ll send Karen up ahead as a distraction”, Karen smiled at Cathryn, happy to be away from camp for a while. “Then we’ll just rush on in afterwards. It’s a small bank in a little town, there ain’t gonna be that much security!”, Cathryn nodded, it seemed like a really good plan as long as the reward was substantial enough. 

*** 

When they finally rode into Valentine they hitched off their horses and made their way onto the main street. Karen was right, there weren’t many people around, it should be pretty easy. It was also very unlikely Cornwall would believe the gang would come back to Valentine given what happened a few weeks ago. 

“Alright keep it cool fellas”, Karen said as she led the way, “Oh, we never did decide...Did you want lost little girl or drunken harlot?”, The men looked at each other for a moment. 

“You know I like the harlot...”, Arthur joked, the men sniggering with him. Karen smirked as they stopped just outside the bank. 

“You’re not the only one...bunch of filthy sinners and heartbreakers. The lot of ya!”, Karen said as she walked into the bank, or more likely staggered. 

“Good luck Gentlemen...”, Bill said as they slowly made their way to the bank. Cathryn listened closely to hear Karen. 

“Where is he? Where is he? Have you seen him?”, the bank clerk tried to ask her to leave but she began to go hysterical. “I’m not leaving till I find him boyo!”, the man was becoming more outraged by her drunken outbursts “Don’t act like you don’t know me sir! You weren’t such a gentleman last night...sorry that was just between us...”, Cathryn giggled, she was certainly convincing. “Get your hands up in the air! This is a robbery!” she shouted, well that was their signal! The crew stormed in, Cathryn’s shotgun in the air, aimed at one of the people in the bank. 

“Nobody move!” Bill shouted, his gun pointed at the man behind the desk. Karen smirked as she looked around for the door to the safes. “Unlock the door!”, he gestured to the door Karen was signaling. The man trembled and quickly went over, Arthur pushing him the entire way. 

“Open the goddamn vault!” she heard him shout. There was silence and then the sound of a slap, Arthur must have hit him with his gun. 

“You in yet Arthur?”, Lenny asked. 

“Nearly there. This son of a bitch needs to get a move on!”, Arthur must have hit the man again as she heard a cry of pain. “Hurry up!”, he shouted one more time until the door was finally open. “We’re in.”, Cathryn moved in with Bill to the safe room and watched as Arthur quickly went to the first safe, he was already trying to crack the lock, dynamite would have been too loud. 

“Cathy, do the other one...”, Cathryn ran towards the one on the furthest side, she hadn’t cracked a lock in years but it had to be like learning how to ride a horse, you never forget. She placed her ear to the door and moved the key around until she heard the clicks. Arthur had just opened the first safe and took the money out, he moved onto the next one. She finally managed to open the door and looked inside, there was so much cash. She pushed it all into her bag, by the time she had finished Arthur was onto the final door. 

“We gotta move...”, Cathryn heard Karen say. 

“Dynamite woulda’ been quicker...”, Bill grunted and Arthur sighed. 

“Quicker but louder.”, Arthur said under his breath when he finally got the last safe open. Bill, Arthur and Cathryn made their way back into the main room of the bank, Karen looking outside. 

“I think it’s okay. I’ll lead, everyone else stay calm...”, Karen said as she opened the door, the rest of them filing out. Bill stuck his head back into the bank. 

“Count to 100, don’t say a fucking word!”, Cathryn walked with the group, moving silently, trying to act like everything was normal until they made their way to the horses. Could this actually work? Would they get away with all this money and no bloodshed? 

“SOMEONES ROBBED THE BANK!”, she heard, whipping her head around to the direction of the screams. 

“Oh shit...”, Bill said, raising his gun. “To the horses!”, he fired a few shots, as did Karen, before they ran to their horses. Cathryn quickly jumped on Rosemary and began to ride out with Arthur and Lenny. As they rode up the hill out of Valentine they realised that they were being chased by the law, Cathryn quickly turned around, took aim and fired, shooting one of them in the head. The others soon fell to the ground with Bill and Arthur taking most of them. As they managed to get out of the danger-zone, trying to stay off the main road they all fell into laughter. 

“That was amazing...”, Cathryn said as they slowed down, she looked in her bag, counting the money. This was a fortune... 

“Thank you, gentlemen!”, Karen said, bowing to the audience. 

“Stupid and dangerous but a very good take...”, Arthur said, separating out the cash for everyone. 

“Dutch will be happy...”, Bill said, glancing at Cathryn. Arthur grunted and got back on his horse. “Even if it did come with a heap of trouble!”, the gang laughed again and took off, Cathryn decided to ride at the back with Arthur. 

“Thanks...”, he looked at her in confusion. “For encouraging me to crack the safe...”, he nodded when he understood. 

“You were good at it before, just need some more practice to get quicker.”, Cathryn smiled, she loved how Arthur always encouraged her, always believed in her. 

“So, I can do this again?”, Arthur laughed. 

“If we find another safe!”, Cathryn chuckled. The two looked at each other for a moment, Arthur turned back to the road. 

“I saw Mary a few weeks back...you remember Mary?”, Oh, Cathryn thought to herself. She didn’t know he would want to talk about that, it was a while ago. She nodded but stayed silent, Arthur sighed to himself, as if he didn’t know what to say. “Well I helped her out, the day of the Valentine shooting, just brought back a lot of memories...” 

“You still love her? After all this time?”, Arthur stayed quiet. That was enough for Cathryn, she understood. “But surely she left you?” 

“Love is complicated, I’m sure you understand...”, Cathryn raised an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean by that?”, her tone sounded more accusatory than she meant it to but he noticed it straight away. 

“Well I mean, you and Dutch, whatever you are...”, Cathryn stared at him, Arthur looked back and sighed. “I know what you think of her, what everyone thinks of her, hell what I even think of her sometimes...but it never would have worked. I couldn’t have exposed her to that much danger, being with me is like a death sentence.” 

“That’s not true...”, Arthur looked at her like she was stupid. 

“Yes, it is. That’s why Dutch is so protective over you, you don’t see it but we do. Sure, it comes across as rude and possessive but at the end of the day he just wants to keep you alive.” 

“Did Dutch tell you to say that to me?”, Cathryn asked, beforehand Arthur seemed uncomfortable with the idea of her being with Dutch, now it almost seemed like he was pressuring her into it. Arthur shook his head. 

“I’m just saying, he can protect you better than most. This life isn’t for everyone, I’ll always love Mary but even I know that I can’t be that selfish.”, he glanced back at Cathryn. “Even if I really want something, I have to be smart, I have to look out for what’s best.”, Cathryn knew he wasn’t talking about Mary anymore, the subtle glances, the soft blushes that no one else could see, it all made sense. “I want you safe, I want you happy, I think Dutch will do both.”, Cathryn frowned, it wasn’t a confession of love but it was close. That enough would have been emotionally crippling but the fact it was a rejection as well made her heart break. She didn’t know if she loved Arthur but she had always cared for him, there was always something there. She wiped the tears in her eyes that were ready to fall. “I uh, I have to go this way, I have some work that Strauss needs doing. I’ll see you later Cathy...”, Arthur said as he turned off to the right, leaving the group, leaving her. 

*** 

When she came back into camp Dutch was in a good mood, Bill had told him about the score and it seemed like everything was on track. When she saw him go into his tent, away from prying eyes she moved in closer. She didn’t know why but she just needed him, needed someone. She opened the flap into the tent, watching as he looked up, how his face betrayed how shocked he was that she had entered. 

“Hey...”, that’s all she could say. 

“Hey...”, he put down his book and smiled. “Well done today, I’m so proud of you.”, Cathryn smiled, the tears threatening to come back out again, he could sense something was wrong. “Hey...it’s okay!”, he gestured for her to sit next to him on the cot which she did. He rubbed her back as she hid her red wet face into the crook of his neck. “What happened?”, she looked up at him, he looked so worried. 

“Just a lot of old memories coming back up, feeling just a bit overwhelmed.”, Dutch pulled her into his side, towering over her, kissing her head softly. He was so warm, he felt so safe. 

“That’s okay, you’re done for today.”, his hand ran up and down her arm, it was comforting, she felt her pain melt away. She looked back at him. 

“Can I stay with you tonight?”, he stared at her for a moment, as if trying to figure out her reasons for wanting to stay with him, but upon only finding her vulnerability he smiled. 

“Of course, sweetheart.”, he embraced her again, kissing her hair. “Of course...”


	24. Interruptions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as a little side note, if you want a guide to sizes I would say that Dutch is around 6ft 3 whilst Cathryn is 4ft 10, so there is quite a big height difference!

As Cathryn began to stir she held onto Dutch even tighter, the cot wasn’t massive, not like one you would find at a hotel, so they had to find a position that was comfortable for both of them. They decided that Dutch would sleep on the cot and Cathryn would sleep on Dutch. She didn’t find it too uncomfortable, in fact it was a lot nicer than sleeping on the ground. So there she was, her face in Dutch’s neck, arms curled around his chest whilst his hands rested on the small of her back. From this angle she couldn’t see if he was awake but he made no effort to move, but it was light outside from what she could see. She slowly began to lift her head up and saw him open his eyes, staring at her, a huge grin on his face. 

“Good morning sweetheart.”, his voice was rather groggy, she quite liked how he sounded. She smiled and put her face back in the crook of his neck. 

“Good morning...” 

“How did you sleep?”, he was stroking the small of her back now, thankfully the night-dress he gave her covered it. 

“like a baby...”, she heard him chuckle, feeling his chest vibrating under her. She felt him kiss the top of her head. “You?” 

“Best night sleep in years...”, he squeezed her tighter. They stayed there for a moment, Cathryn was content to just lounge and bask in his warmth, away from prying eyes. She didn’t notice his hand slowly moving lower and lower until it grazed the bottom of her backside. She went still, holding her breath in anticipation, Dutch chuckled at her reaction, kissing her hair again. Slowly he tucked his left hand between her legs, parting them only just so he could move his hand with ease, tracing her sex with his fingers until he found what he was looking for. It was a strange sensation, Cathryn thought, being touched there through a night dress. The material added more friction, more stimulation. Cathryn twitched, trying to bury herself in Dutch’s chest. He focused on her clit for a while but then cupped her sex completely, holding it tight, as if it belonged to him. She heard him sigh, a sound of contentment, as he went back to rubbing her small nub. 

“Dutch...”, Cathryn whispered, she was beginning to feel hot and flustered. What was he doing to her? 

“That’s it...”, he praised as he noted her unconsciously thrusting against his hand. “Look at you, so needy this morning, practically soaking through your night dress.”, he heard her whimper and smiled. “Don’t worry, daddy will buy you a new one...”, Cathryn twitched, she didn’t know why he was calling himself that but her body obviously didn’t seem to care. “You need it don’t you? You need me...”, Cathryn nodded, she knew it as he did, she needed him. He had reduced her to this, her mind completely blank, only focusing on her pleasure. She would do anything to please him in this moment, as long as he got her over the brink. Something had taken over her, something primal and dark. He began to shift underneath her, moving his hand from her clit and to her hips, pulling her up so she was straddling him. He stared at her face, flushed and almost lost, it stirred something in him. He thrusted upwards, his covered cock grinding directly onto her core, she could feel it, how hard he was. 

“Dutch please...” she moaned, closing her eyes. She was trying to be quiet; she didn’t want anyone to hear her. 

“Move your hips against me sweetheart...I want you cumming on my cock...”, fuck, she thought. The words he was saying were having a huge impact on her. She began to wonder what he looked like underneath, maybe she would find out. 

“Fuck.”, she cursed as he hit just the right spot, she felt herself getting closer. She felt him slap her thigh, it wasn’t too hard but enough to surprise her. She looked down at him. 

“I want you looking at me, do you understand?”, he looked so serious so she nodded, staring at him, so close to the edge. 

“Dutch! I need to talk to you!”, a voice shouted from outside the tent, it was Hosea. Cathryn immediately stopped, coming back down to earth, embarrassed that they were nearly caught. Dutch didn’t seem to care and thrusted up again. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop sweetheart.”, he grunted quietly. “Go away Hosea! I’m busy right now!”, she still refused to move so Dutch grabbed onto her hips and pulled her down hard on his clothed cock. 

“No. We need to speak now.”, Dutch groaned, staring at Cathryn through gritted teeth and sat up, he pushed Cathryn back so she was sat on her bum. She looked down and saw the large wet stains on her night dress, reality was flooding in now. Fuck, what had they been doing? Dutch got up and opened the tent slightly, not enough for Hosea to come in. 

“What is it?”, Dutch asked, he sounded pissed off. Hosea stormed in, pushing past Dutch and walked into the tent. He had to do a double take when he saw Cathryn on the bed in her nightdress, the first thing he saw was her messed up hair and red face, the last thing he saw was the wet patches on her dress. He span around to Dutch. 

“What the fuck is this?”, he shouted, pointing at her. 

“Hosea.”, Dutch said, a clear warning that he didn’t want this conversation. 

“Cathryn, go back to your tent.”, Hosea ordered, Cathryn stood up but Dutch blocked the entrance. 

“This is her tent now.”, he said as calmly as he could, though Cathryn noted his clenched fists. 

“Like hell it is.”, Hosea said. “I tried to ignore the gossip, but now that I see its true I can’t hold back any longer. This is wrong Dutch, this has to stop.”, Dutch merely laughed at the order, Cathryn knew he wouldn’t listen, Dutch hated being told what to do. 

“And why is that?” 

“She was a child when we found her...”, Hosea tried to reason. 

“She’s not a child anymore.”, Dutch stated. Hosea groaned, pacing around the tent. 

“I don’t care who you sleep with Dutch. I don’t care what you do in your free time but you will not drag her into this!”, Hosea was adamant in his statement but when Dutch walked slowly towards him, nose almost touching nose, even Cathryn could sense a pinch of fear. Dutch wore a smile, but it made him even more threatening. 

“You gonna take her from me Hosea?”, he chuckled. Hosea didn’t reply, they stared at each other for a moment. “What did you want?”, Dutch then asked, trying to move away from the conversation. Hosea sighed and then looked at Cathryn. 

“I was gonna take Arthur and... Cathryn to sell that moonshine the Braithwaite’s let us keep. Just wanted to let you know before we head out.”, Dutch thought for a moment, then patted Hosea on the shoulder. 

“Fine by me.”, the grin on his face had returned. He walked over to Cathryn and kissed the top of her head in front of Hosea. “I’ve got some digging of my own to do, have a fun day darlin’.”, he then left his tent, leaving Hosea and Cathryn alone. 

“I’ll just get dressed and meet you by the wagon.”, she said timidly, Hosea nodded and left her alone. 

*** 

Once dressed she met up with Hosea at the wagon, the exchange with Dutch had left her feeling incredibly awkward. Hosea was waiting for her; Arthur hadn’t arrived yet. They leant against the wagon, not saying a word to each other. 

“I’m not mad at you Cathy...”, Hosea said finally, though he refused to look at her. “I just...”, he struggled to find the words. “Dutch has become unhinged recently, ever since Blackwater. I had heard that he was interested in you, hell I even saw it with my own eyes, but I didn’t want to admit it.”, Cathryn finally looked at him. “You’re the closest thing me and Bessie ever had to a daughter, I don’t want him to ruin you.”, Cathryn reached out to hold his hand. 

“Thank you, Hosea, thank you for always looking out for me.”, Hosea smiled weakly, finally looking at her. “I promise if I ever feel unsafe or anything, I will come to you.”, he nodded, looking back into camp. 

“I always felt like me and Dutch were partners, that he listened to everything I said, that he respected it. Well, that little show in his tent proves that that’s no longer the case...”, he began to cough suddenly, pulling out a piece of cloth to cover his mouth. After a moment he stopped, taking his time to breath before he continued. “I fear this is the end of the Van der Linde gang as we know it. But I can promise you that I won’t give up without a fight.”, he squeezed her hand and she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly. 

_Some nights, when Dutch and Hosea were out trying to find some money, Bessie would hold Cathryn in her arms. She would stroke her hair and tell her all sorts of stories. She was very different from Ms. Grimshaw, full of warmth and laughter. Cathryn had never seen two people as much in love as Hosea and Bessie._

_“You have the prettiest hair Cathy...”, Bessie said as she ran her fingers through it. Cathryn hated brushing her hair, it always hurt as she had large knots through her curls. She didn’t mind when Bessie brushed it though, she always took her time, she was always gentle. “It’s a shame we’re always on the move and it gets so dirty!”_

_“You have pretty hair too Bessie...”, Cathryn said as she span around to face her. She touched the top of her rich brown hair, it always looked so soft. Bessie laughed._

_“Why thank you Cathy! You’re a very sweet girl...”, Bessie stroked Cathryn’s cheek._

_“Bessie, why don’t you and Hosea have any kids?”, she watched as Bessie frowned, looking out towards the horizon._

_“Sadly, some people can’t have children. Sometimes life just works out that way, I would have loved to have a little girl but it’s not all bad! I have the love of my life and a family that will never leave me. There are worse things...”, Cathryn nodded, even though it was sad Bessie couldn’t have children she still made the most out of the life she had._

_“You can be my mother if you want...”, Cathryn offered, with a small smile._

_“It would be an honour.”, the two hugged each other for a moment and spent the rest of the evening watching the campfire burn in the night sky. When Dutch and Hosea finally returned she remembered Bessie ran up to hug him, she had tears in her eyes but they weren’t from sadness. That night, Hosea and Bessie tucked her into bed, something only Dutch had done before and they continued to do so every night until Bessie became sick. It was always one of Cathryn’s favourite times of the day._

“We heading out then?”, Arthur said as he came up to the wagon. Hosea nodded and the three of them got up and drove into Rhodes. It was fairly awkward between Cathryn and Arthur, especially after his confession yesterday. Regardless, he told her of their plan and what they had been up to so far. Stealing moonshine for the Grays and then trying to sell it back to the Braithwaite’s again only for them to demand they sell it in Rhodes for free under the Grays nose. It all seemed rather complicated and Cathryn wondered how long it would be until either of the families caught onto their scam, if they hadn’t already. When they finally arrived to the Parlour House that Cathryn had stayed in a few nights before, they began to unload the moonshine. 

“Alright so Cathy...how about you’re my little daughter and Fenton here is my stupid idiot brother? Can you manage that?”, Cathryn laughed, trying to imagine Arthur playing an idiot. She nodded, awaiting Hosea’s performance, she always loved watching him act. “Okay Fenton!”, he said, talking to Arthur. “Stay calm now...for momma...she loved you so.”, it took everything for Cathryn not to roll on the floor laughing, Arthur did not look amused. The three of them grabbed some moonshine and went towards the building. “Gentlemen! Gentlemen hello! My name is Melvin! We just came from up north, this is my brother Fenton and my daughter Lucy. Don’t mind him, don’t madden him, he’s turned part idiot.”, They brought the moonshine to the porch. “How do you boys like a couple of bucks? We’re in the new trade of advertising, which is an American art form about ensuring people buy the correct things.”, the two men guarding the door nodded as Hosea gave them a few dollars to be on their way. They had about half an hour to give away as much of this as they could. 

“Nice going Father...”, Cathryn said, smiling up at Hosea. He laughed and they walked into the Parlour House. Arthur and Cathryn went behind the bar to serve the moonshine whilst Hosea went to address the crowd. 

“Gentlemen! My name is Melvin and this is my daughter Lucy and my brother Fenton. He’s a bit funny but boy can he pour drink fast! For the next thirty minutes, the drinks in this here bar, in this here town are entirely free!”, the men in the bar cheered at the statement and began rushing to the bar like starving beasts. “Put Fenton to work, just don’t get him mad though, his momma made him mad and he buried her...”, the men started to laugh as they came up to the bar. Arthur and Cathryn began to pour shot glasses of the moonshine, it wouldn’t be long till they all became incredibly drunk. 

“God that’s strong stuff!”, one of the men said, scrunching his face up, didn’t stop him from having four more though. “Another one please Fenton!”, Arthur was pouring most of the drinks but Cathryn did help, sending the men a few smiles. They tried to talk to her but she would just give each of them another drink to keep them preoccupied to make any moves. They did this for about half an hour, pouring drinks and shots, throwing the empty moonshine bottles on the floor. The men were dancing around the room, playing songs terribly on the piano and singing like there was no tomorrow, she had never seen men so wild. So when an angry gang of men burst through the doors, everyone paused and looked towards them. 

“Good evening Gentlemen...”, Hosea said from the staircase. “Quiet Liberation?” 

“You!” one of the men shouted “You’re the bastards who stole the liquor we were gonna buy!” 

“No gentlemen, we’re in advertising! Come on, have a drink!”, Hosea was trying to defuse the situation but both Arthur and Cathryn knew that this wasn’t gonna end well. Within seconds gunfire went off and Arthur and Cathryn ducked behind the bar. 

“Fuck, it’s them Lemoyne riders I keep bumping into.”, Cathryn took out the gun from her holster and quickly looked up from the bar, shooting one in the shoulder. “How many are there?” 

“I don’t know, ten?”, she replied, both of them going back up and shooting another two. “Where’s Hosea?”, she shouted. Arthur cursed under his breath. 

“Give me cover, I think he went upstairs.”, Cathryn nodded and watched Arthur sneak round the back of the bar, she kept looking over and shooting anyone who moved from behind a table. Thankfully most of the drunk men had run off. Arthur managed to run up the stairs as she finally heard Hosea call for him, she could only keep cover whilst he helped Hosea out. She heard a few gunshots upstairs and saw them two running back down to the bar. “Come on Cathy...”, Arthur called, she went to leave when someone grabbed her from behind, a knife to her throat. 

“Well aren’t you a pretty thing?”, the knife sliced into her skin, she could feel the blood coming out, Hosea seemed completely lost with no idea what to do. Arthur however quickly shot the man holding her in the elbow and then the head, she ran over to Hosea. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here!”, they ran to the wagon and Arthur drove as quick as he could back to camp whilst Hosea took a look at Cathryn’s neck, it wasn’t deep enough to cause any permanent damage but there was enough blood for it to look serious, especially as it ran down her cream blouse. “Are you okay?”, Cathryn nodded, it didn’t hurt too bad but it was probably because she was in shock. “We’ll bandage it when we’re back in camp.”, as they hitched up and made their way to the medical supplies, she noticed Dutch coming towards them. 

“What happened?” he asked and upon seeing Cathryn’s wound went almost in a frenzy. “What the fuck happened?!”, he lifted up her head to examine the wound. 

“It was fine, we had it covered. Someone snuck up behind me though. It’s not that bad, it looks worse than it is.”, Cathryn said, trying to calm Dutch down. He turned to Hosea. 

“How the fuck can you let this happen?” 

“It was an accident!”, Arthur said, trying to stand up for Hosea who was already feeling terrible for what happened. Any deeper and she would have lost too much blood. Dutch turned to Arthur and pushed him slightly. 

“Don’t fucking defend this shit! I’ve had it...no more missions for you.”, Dutch ordered, finally facing Cathryn. Her mouth opened in shock; he couldn’t just take her freedom, could he? 

“That’s not fair, it was an accident!”, Cathryn shouted but she could just see him getting angrier. 

“Like fuck it matters! You could have died.”, he was saying it as if she had no understanding, as if she were stupid. 

“What so you’re just gonna keep me here? You can’t do that Dutch!”, she shouted, watching as he came closer, so they were almost nose to nose. 

“I think you’ll find that I can. You’re mine Cathy, you’re mine and you’re part of my gang. No more missions, not until I say so.”, Cathryn clenched her teeth, breathing through her nose, trying not to scream in his face. “Get her cleaned up and bandaged, and put her in a new set of clothes, I don’t want to see a speck of blood on her.”


	25. Tracking

When Cathryn woke up the next morning, she woke up alone. She refused to speak to Dutch last night after his outburst but he refused to let her stay anywhere other than his tent. She was surprised he had left without saying where he was going but she wouldn’t be upset about it, he was acting like a child. She got up and put her clothes on, a green shirt with slim line trousers and boots then tied her hair into a plait that draped over the right shoulder. She looked in the small mirror that Dutch had to see how the wound on her neck was healing, it still looked sore but thankfully it wasn’t infected, it should leave quite the scar though. When she was done she walked out of the tent to see everything was business as normal, she decided she was going to find Charles to see if he would take her tracking. He was by his horse, brushing out his main and tail. 

“Hey Charles, wanna finally teach me how to track?”, Charles looked over at her, spotting the bandage around her neck and looking around the camp, most likely for Dutch. 

“Thought Dutch didn’t want you out and about?” 

“Well I’m either going with or without you so take your pick.”, Charles groaned and finally nodded, Cathryn smiled with joy. “Wonderful, I’ll go get my horse.” 

“Charles!”, Cathryn looked over to see who was intruding into their conversation, it was Arthur, again. “Dutch wants us to find Trelawny, see if he’s doing okay after we found him almost about to be locked up.”, Charles looked at Cathryn and shrugged his shoulders. 

“Sorry Cathryn, another time...” 

“Wait! I’m coming too.”, Arthur groaned and shook his head. 

“No, you’re not.” 

“Yes I am. I’ve never met this Trelawny fellow and it’s not like anything is going to happen. We’re just paying him a visit!”, Arthur stared her down, he didn’t want to have this conversation. “Fine, then I’m going hunting, on my own. If I go missing because I’ve been eaten by a bear than Dutch knows who to blame!”, Cathryn said, turning away from them, counting down in her head. 3...2...1... 

“Fine. You can come with us, but you do exactly what I say! Understood?”, Arthur ordered and Cathryn saluted him, a sly smile on her face, Charles could only laugh at the exchange. The trio got on their horses, riding out to Trelawney's hideout. 

“So where was Dutch this morning?”, Cathryn tried to ask nonchalantly. 

“I don’t know, probably back with the Sheriff in Rhodes. He’s got his claws in the man, playing him like a fiddle”, Arthur said as they made their way out of the forest. “You two work it out yet?” 

“Nope.”, Cathryn replied firmly. She had done nothing wrong; it was him who needed to apologise to her. 

“He isn’t gonna like you coming with us...”, Arthur said, giving Cathryn a knowing glance. 

“Well he isn’t gonna find out.”, Cathryn hinted, urging Arthur and Charles to keep their mouths shut. If she had to keep sneaking out for freedom than she would, there was only so much of the camp she could take on her own. “So, what’s Trelawny like?” 

“I’ve only met him a couple of times...”, Charles said. “But he’s a strange one.”, Cathryn raised her eyes at this, she wondered if it was a good strange or a bad one. 

“Fear not...”, Arthur said, sensing her nerves. “He’s just a cockroach in fancy britches. But he gets into nooks and crannies that the rest of us can’t. We just need to find him before he scurries off again.”, they rode over the railway line and through the plains for a moment until Arthur started looking around. “Think it’s just up here, his caravan I mean.”, They jumped off their horses and looked around the site, there were a couple of caravans but Arthur seemed to know exactly which one Trelawny was hiding in. “Oh shit.”, he said as he entered, everything was a wreck, cups and plates shattered on the floor. “This ain’t good.” 

“Seems we weren’t the first ones here...what do you think?”, Charles said as he began to search the place for any clues for Trelawny’s whereabouts. “Bed isn’t made, must have been here recently...”, Cathryn had a look in the small bathroom, there was blood splattered around. 

“Blood here, doesn’t look good.”, she said to Arthur and Charles who came to join her. She looked to the door that went outside. “There are trails going outside. We should be able to follow it.”, Charles nodded as they began to follow the tracks. 

“Maybe you should wait here Cathy...”, Arthur said. 

“And what? Wait for whatever got Trelawny to get me too? No thanks.” Cathryn said as she led the search. “Looks like you’ll teach me how to track after all Charles!”, they got on their horses and began to follow the tracks down a winding path, at a fork in the road Cathryn looked both left and right and upon finding similar sized footprints turning left she decided to follow them. 

“That was good.”, Charles said, watching as she made her observations. 

“This isn’t like Trelawny, he normally scams himself into the best hotel in town.”, they crossed over the railway tracks. “They may be twenty miles away by now.” 

“You can go home if you want Arthur...”, Cathryn teased. “Me and Charles can figure this one out.”, Charles chuckled while Arthur grunted in annoyance. “The tracks are heading into the forest.”, she deduced as they followed the path into the forest. “There’s a man over there. Maybe we should ask him?”, Arthur shrugged, it was up to her. She quickly got down from her horse and went over to the man. 

“Can I help you?”, he asked, but he was quite rude. 

“We’re looking for our friend. He’s a strange gentleman, maybe in formal wear?”, She saw Charles walk behind her and pick up a cane. 

“He uses a cane...just like this one...”, he dropped it to the floor and Cathryn looked to see another man come near them. Something didn’t seem right. “Where is he?”, the man then ran, pushing Charles to the ground, Arthur ran in raising his fists, beating the other man near Cathryn until he was on the ground, Charles was also punching the other man, these two didn’t stand a chance. 

“Where’s Trelawny?”, Arthur shouted as he punched one of the men in the face. The man started to cry, he was done fighting now. 

“Okay...they took him to a cabin, over by the cornfields.” 

“Which cornfields?”, Arthur said, lifting the man up so their noses were almost touching. 

“The ones to the left! By Braithwaite manor!”, Arthur than slammed his fist into the man’s face, knocking him out completely. “Let’s go.”, the three then got back onto their horses and rode to Braithwaite manor, Cathryn led the way as she had been there before, she hoped there wouldn’t be many guards around. “We can go around the sides, so we don’t have to actually go into the place.”, Arthur said. 

“What do they want with Trelawny?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Who knows? Could be a hundred reasons why. As long as they don’t involve us, I don’t care.”, Arthur said as they rode round the side of the manor. 

“Would he talk?” 

“Of course, he’ll talk.”, Arthur grunted. “He’d sell his own sister to save a train fare!”, Cathryn frowned, he didn’t seem like a nice man to keep around. But Dutch must have his reasons for doing so. “Our saving grace is that he don’t know where we’re hold up.” 

“I just don’t know why Dutch deals with him, he’s always disappearing for weeks on end.”, Charles said, Cathryn thought for a moment, it did seem confusing, she had never even met the man. 

“Loyalty matters to Dutch.”, Arthur stated. “And he has his uses...” 

“And is he loyal?”, Cathryn asked, Arthur shrugged. 

“He isn’t disloyal, just has a huge mouth. Don’t worry, if he says anything I’ll find out what.”, as they rode through the cornfields Cathryn began to feel uneasy, not about finding Trelawny or helping him out but about what Dutch would say if he discovered she went missing, or worse if she got hurt. She wasn’t sure if he would ever let her out of his sight again. “That must be the cabin...” Arthur said as they jumped off their horses and walked over to a small wooden lodge. They were about to enter when two men came out the door, dragging a man with them, she guessed it was Trelawny but thankfully he wasn’t dead. “Put the man down gentlemen...”, Arthur ordered as the three of them aimed their guns at the two men. They both ran off, ditching Trelawny on the ground. 

“Was that all of them?” Charles asked as he began to cut Trelawny free with his knife. 

“I...I think so...”, Trelawny muttered, his voice was very strange Cathryn thought. 

“So, you’re alive...”, Arthur stated, rubbing his forehead, Charles went to look around. 

“Allegedly.”, Trelawny said and then looked on Cathryn. “And who is this lovely creature? I feel ashamed to meet such a beautiful woman in such a state...”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Don’t get any ideas Trelawny. She’s Dutch’s.”, Trelawny sighed and nodded, as if he should have known that all along. 

“Pleasure to meet you Trelawny.”, Cathryn said, reaching her hand out to him. “I’m Cathryn.”, he shook her hand as she helped him up. She heard Charles shouting, Arthur ran towards the sound and she swiftly followed behind him. 

“Don’t worry, I can handle myself!”, Trelawny shouted to them at the cabin, Cathryn running into the cornfields. She didn’t know how many there were but thankfully the crops gave good coverage. She heard two shots and then more rustling, the more she stood in silence the more she became afraid. She didn’t know what it was about cornfields, she was probably still trying to get over what happened at the Parlour house. She heard a rustling to her right and glanced over, creeping through the corn until she saw a face. It didn’t belong to Arthur or Charles and he hadn’t spotted her yet. She slowly lifted her gun, aiming and shot. The man fell to the ground straight away, Cathryn ran up to him and began searching his pockets. She remembered John and Arthur always reminding her to loot if you shoot someone. She heard two more shots in the distance, hoping it wasn’t one of her guys that was shot. 

“Think there’s only one more Charles!”, she heard Arthur shout, she went to go find them, believing she had shot the last one when she heard a crack behind her, she quickly looked around and was tackled to the floor, a rope tight around her neck. She went to scream, hopefully it was enough for Arthur and Charles to hear her. She grabbed at the rope around her throat, it was rubbing against her bandage, reopening the gash in her neck. The man who had grabbed her was chuckling as he pulled her towards him. Thankfully Arthur had appeared from out of nowhere, facing the man off in the cornfield, his gun raised. 

“She’s mine!”, the man behind her shouted, raising his own gun, Cathryn continued to struggle against the rope, she found feel her head start pounding through lack of oxygen. “Let me take her, and you can get out of here...”, Cathryn knew Arthur wouldn’t just let him go but as he began to surrender, doubt filled her mind. No, he must be toying with him. Suddenly she heard a gunshot as the rope around her went loose, she span around to see Charles with his gun in the air. They both ran towards her. 

“Are you okay?”, Arthur asked, immediately looking at her neck to see if the wound had reopened, it wasn’t too bad but it still stung. 

“I’m okay just-” 

“Don’t tell Dutch...I know I know...”, Cathryn smiled at Arthur and wrapped her arms around him, she then turned to Charles and hugged him too. 

“Thank you, Charles, you saved my life.” 

“Don’t mention it, you would do the same for me.”, They smiled at each other as he helped her get on her feet. “Is that all of them?”, shots began to fire at them from the barn. Charles groaned, “I guess not!”, Arthur shouted at her to stay in the cornfields and for once Cathryn actually listened to him. She was still trying to get her breath back and had enough near-death experiences for one day. 

“I’ll sort these piles of shits out. Charles, take Cathryn back to Trelawny, I’ll be there soon.”, Charles nodded and lead Cathryn away from the barn, using the cornfields as cover, thankfully the shooters were more focused on Arthur than the two of them. As they made their way to Trelawny, Arthur had managed to get inside the barn. 

“You okay?”, Charles asked as they made eye contact with Trelawny, who was sat in a chair, covered in blood, looking like a mess. 

“Never finer!”, he jested, he had this charismatic sort of air that Cathryn saw in Dutch, probably why he liked him so much. 

“Who were they?”, Charles asked as Cathryn watched Arthur run back from the barn, all the men now taken care of. 

“They were bounty hunters attached to Cole Stoudemire. They weren’t looking for me per se.” 

“What did you tell them?” Arthur asked, he had no time for games, he needed to know if the camp were in danger. 

“Not much. I told them I was an intellectual, came down here from Oregan, looking for a job at the university. Of course, they didn’t believe me. Seems you stirred up quite the hornet’s nest at Blackwater...”, Arthur helped Trelawny get on his horse, it seemed he was going to stay at camp for a while, for his protection as well as their own. 

*** 

Before they came back into camp, Cathryn separated from Arthur and Charles. She told them to keep her secret from Dutch while she gathered some nearby rabbits. They were hesitant but agreed, if Dutch found out she went with them then he would also find out that she nearly died and it would be bad. So they went off first into camp while Cathryn did some hunting. Dutch may be mad at her for leaving the camp but he didn’t say anything about hunting. It didn’t take too long for her to gather some animals; in fact it was incredibly easy but he didn’t have to know that. She would just say she took so long as her wound kept playing up. When she came into camp, she was thankful he didn’t run over screaming at her, in fact he was far more preoccupied with Trelawny being back. 

“Who’s this?”, Cathryn asked as she walked over to Dutch and Trelawny. She held her rabbits out in front of her, so she wouldn’t have to explain why she was out. 

“This is Trelawny. He’s staying with us for a while, don’t worry he’s trustworthy.”, Dutch said, he no longer seemed cold which made Cathryn happy. 

“It’s lovely to meet you my dear, your name?”, Trelawny asked, as if he hadn’t been travelling with her over an hour ago. Cathryn smiled. 

“It’s Cathryn...”, she offered her hand for him to kiss which he accepted graciously. Dutch coughed and placed a hand on Trelawny’s shoulder. 

“That’s enough of that Trelawny...”, but the two of them just laughed. For they knew in that moment that Dutch would never find out their little secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone else just love Trelawny?


	26. Confessions

“Let me see it...”, Dutch said as he touched the bandage around Cathryn’s neck, it had been a few days since the incident and the two were starting to become cordial with one another again. Cathryn unwound the bandage from her neck and showed him. It was pretty much healed now, scabbing over to form a clean scar. He took out a pot of salve and applied it gently, it was the first time he had properly touched her in a while. “There...should be healed soon...”, Cathryn nodded as he wound a new bandage around her neck, she couldn’t wait to take the damn thing off. 

“Thank you.”, she said softly as she watched him put the medical supplies away, “When am I allowed to leave this camp?”, she had to ask the question at some point, she couldn’t keep sneaking off. She heard him sigh as he moved back to the cot and sat next to her. 

“I know you’re unhappy, but it’s only for a little while...” 

“Is it?”, Cathryn asked, her head falling into her hands. “Feels like you’ll never let me go, like I’ve committed some sort of crime.” 

“You haven’t done anything wrong.”, Dutch said, resting his hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry.”, Cathryn looked back up at him, it was rare for Dutch to ever apologise. 

“For what?”, she asked curiously. 

“I know more than anyone how capable you are out there. You’re smart and strong, I don’t need anyone to tell me that. It’s just hard, I lost you once before and it almost broke me. It can’t happen again.” 

“It won’t...” 

“You don’t know that. None of us do...”, there was silence between them, he was right but that shouldn’t stop her living her life. 

“What happened to Annabelle?”, Cathryn asked, she knew that even if she wasn’t a substitute for Annabelle she was obviously playing on his mind. 

“We weren’t as big as we are now when it happened, the O’Driscolls were really the only enemy we were up against. During one of our raids I killed Colm’s brother. A few weeks later I arrived back to camp with the gang, Annabelle was strung up, arms out and dressed in white. She would have looked like an angel had her throat not been slit. I didn’t believe she was dead at first, though her body was covered in blood, kept thinking there was some way I could’ve saved her. I remember she used to tell these stories about true loves kiss, how it woke loved ones from the dead. I always laughed, thought they were so stupid, but do you know what the first thing I did was when I saw her corpse? I kissed her. For no other reason than I thought it might wake her up, might make everything better. It didn’t.”, Cathryn frowned as Dutch told his story, that’s probably why he got so upset when he saw her bleeding from the neck. 

“I’m sorry Dutch...”, Cathryn said as she stroked his face with her small fingers, she could see the tears building in his eyes, though he refused to set them free. 

“I trust you Cathy.”, Dutch admitted, “But seeing you like that it just sent something through me, something dark.”, he turned to her, concern on his face. “I understand if you hate me for it.” 

“I could never hate you Dutch.”, Dutch nodded and kissed her forehead lightly. 

“Are you sure? I completely understand if you regret leaving the nunnery...”, she could tell he was joking but decided if he wanted a heart to heart then she would give him one. 

“Leaving there was the hardest decision I ever had to make, not because I was happy there but I was terrified to leave.”, Dutch raised one of his eyebrows, he knew she had mentioned something when he had bought her Rosemary but he never found out fully what happened. “They were nice enough at first, I had a roof over my head and meals every day. They even taught me how to read well...but then it all changed.” 

“Did they hurt you?”, Dutch asked, stroking a stray curl from Cathryn’s face. She nodded. 

“They would lock me in a small cupboard if I had been bad or shout at me in front of the other girls. Then it was small things like pinches and slaps with a cane. The worst thing they did though was make me believe I needed to be punished. I would start seeing the worst in everything I did. I would confess if I didn’t believe I worked hard enough that day or if I had improper thoughts, and they knew it all, they knew which buttons to press. Then on my sixteenth birthday they gave me a present, a small whip, so that I could punish myself for my own sins. I’m ashamed to say that I did use it, thinking it would cleanse me, make me feel better.”, Dutch was in shock by the story, his eyes showing nothing but concern. 

“What changed?”, Cathryn thought for a moment and smiled. 

“One day I was reading the Bible, I decided to teach myself some Latin, and they caught me and demanded that I punish myself. For no other reason than reading a book, trying to educate myself on their own faith. I discovered my self-worth in that one moment, it took long enough but there it was. I went to my room, pretending to be obedient and grabbed every possession and provision I could get my hands on. When I went to leave Sister Margaret was standing there, forbidding me to go.” 

“What did you do?”, Dutch asked. 

“I whipped her across the face with the present she got me for my sixteenth birthday.”, Cathryn looked up, she remembered how it felt, it was glorious, it was powerful. A small smirk graced her face. “She deserved it, they all did, my only wish was that I helped the others escape. But then again, they had no one to go back to.”, Dutch nodded. “I did want to come back Dutch, but they forbid me to ever talk of you, they said you were the devil.” 

“Maybe they were right...”, Dutch confessed, staring at his hands, as if he could see all the blood he had ever spilt on them. She looked down and laid her hands on his palms. He looked back up at her. 

“You’re not the devil Dutch...I wouldn’t be with you if you were.”, Dutch still looked unsure so Cathryn lifted his face up, holding it in her small hands and pressed a small kiss to his lips. He smiled as he pulled away, standing up. 

“When the wound heals, you’ll be able to go out on your own again. Until then, you have to go with someone.”, Cathryn smiled. 

“You mean I can go out?”, Dutch nodded, a small smirk on his face. She jumped up to give him a big hug. “Thank you Dutch.”, he wrapped his arms tight around her, wishing that she never had to leave his embrace. 

*** 

Cathryn left the tent and decided to sit with Abigail and Jack whilst the sun was high in the sky. It was a beautiful day and she wanted to get the sun on her skin. Abigail smiled and patted by the grassy patch next to her. 

“Hey Cathryn, fine day isn’t it?”, Cathryn nodded as she sat down. 

“It sure is. You enjoying the sunshine Jack?”, Jack nodded, smiling as he was picking the flowers. 

“Yeah, I prefer it to the snow.”, Cathryn smiled as she closed her eyes, feeling the suns warm rays grace her face. She liked the sun when she could relax, but when she had work to do she much preferred the cooler months. If they could settle down somewhere with a cool climate and a soft breeze she would be happy. 

“You look happy...”, Abigail commented as she glanced down at the blonde. Cathryn smiled and opened her eyes to look at Abigail. “You and Dutch work it out?” 

“Yeah, it’s all good now.” 

“I’m glad. You know, I’ve never seen him like this with another woman before, not even Annabelle.”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows. “I think he may truly be in love.”, Cathryn sat up at the statement, Dutch in love with her? It seemed like a strange concept but I guess it’s not super strange. Most people who court are usually in love. 

“You think Dutch loves me?”, Abigail shrugged, but a small smirk on her face hinted that she believed it to be true. 

“Why not?”, Cathryn looked over to Dutch’s tent. “Surprised we haven’t heard you two lovebirds yet. Dutch isn’t exactly quiet...” 

“We haven’t...”, Cathryn said looking back to Abigail’s shocked face. “What?” 

“Oh, he’s definitely smitten...”, Abigail said, trying to stifle a laugh. 

“What’s smitten?”, Jack asked, suddenly interested in the conversation. The girls laughed. 

“Nothing Jack, you’ll find out when you’re older.”, Abigail smirked at Cathryn, then looked over to Dutch. “You’re good for him Cathryn, things seem hard right now but they’ll settle down. He just needs all the help he can get.”, Cathryn nodded, glancing over to Dutch who was now staring back at her. She knew what it was like to be alone, and now she refused to be alone ever again.


	27. Heartbreak

A week had passed since Cathryn and Dutch had made up and everything seemed great in the world, the gang were the happiest Cathryn had seen as it seemed that the Pinkertons had finally lost them. Cathryn could now also take her bandage off so Dutch had given her some small tasks to complete on her own. The world was finally looking up. As Cathryn brought herself and Dutch a cup of morning coffee she overheard Micah and Arthur talking, it didn’t sound particularly pleasant and when Micah saw her he gestured her over to join the conversation. Cathryn walked over but she was slightly confused, Micah never made any moves to talk to her, he just left her alone most of the time. In all honesty, she was glad of it. 

“Ah, Cathy...”, she winced at the familiar term. “Arthur seems to disagree with me on this but I thought we could get your opinion on the matter.”, Cathryn nodded, looking over at Arthur who seemed incredibly pissed off. 

“Gentlemen...”, Dutch said as he left his tent, walking towards the trio. He had been waiting for Cathryn to give him his coffee but decided to join them when he saw her pulled into conversation. “Cathy...”, he whispered to her as she gave him his coffee, he kissed her on the temple, wrapping his arm around her waist. “What’s this all about?”, Micah whistled at Mr. Pearson so he would come over and join them. 

“It’s peace Dutch, with the O’Driscolls. I think there’s a way.”, Dutch looked stupefied, as did Cathryn. The O’Driscolls had done nothing but hunt them down and kill the ones they loved, how could there be any peace now? 

“What on earth are you talking about?”, Dutch asked, Mr. Pearson became timid but Micah coaxed him to keep talking. 

“I met a couple of the O’Driscoll boys on the road into town and things were about to get ugly but you know how I am in a fight huh? Like a cornered tiger!”, he whipped out his knife laughing, hoping that everyone would join in but was met with complete silence. Dutch just continued to stare at him, Mr. Pearson began to shrink in stature. “Anyway, somehow it didn’t, we got to talking and they suggested a parley to end things.”, Dutch looked over at Arthur with a frown on his face. “Like gentlemen...” 

“Gentlemen?” Dutch almost shouted, letting go of Cathryn and walking closer to Mr. Pearson who felt incredibly intimidated. “Colm O’Driscoll? Have you lost your minds?”, Micah stepped in front of Mr. Pearson, trying to calm Dutch. 

“You’re always telling us, Dutch, do what has to be done but don’t fight wars ain’t worth fighting.” 

“They want a parley?”, came another voice, Cathryn looked over her shoulder to see Hosea walking towards them. “It’s a trap!” 

“Well of course it’s probably a trap!”, Micah said, as if he was tired of hearing Hosea talk, Cathryn frowned at the obvious disrespect. “But what have we got to lose by finding out?” 

“Get shot.”, Arthur said with all seriousness. Micah looked at him. 

“That’s why you’ll be there to protect us. In fact, how about we make it a nice family outing, Cathy can come along too!”, Cathryn looked up at Dutch whose jaw was clenched, she had a feeling he didn’t want her anywhere near the O’Driscolls. 

“I don’t see the point in any of this.”, Dutch said, as if it were his final word. He began to walk out the group, taking Cathryn along with him but Micah wasn’t done. 

“It’s a chance we gotta take! Arthur and Cathy can find a hiding spot, away from the parley, they won’t even know they’re there. If they betray us then they can shoot them to pieces, if not then it’s good for us.”, Dutch stopped by Hosea, closing his eyes, praying that Micah would drop it. 

“I killed Colm’s brother, a long time ago, then in return Colm killed Annabelle.”, Dutch said, trying to find some justification not to go along with it. 

“As you say, it’s a long time ago Dutch...”, Cathryn watched Micah, she could see what he was trying to do and he was doing it well. Dutch slowly nodded. 

“Fine. We go. You and me, Micah. Arthur and Cathy I want you out of sight in case there’s an ambush.”, Dutch faced Cathy, stroking her cheek softly. “I don’t want this parley to go ahead with you back at camp, just in case it’s a trick. I want you nearby, understand?”, Cathryn nodded, He thought Annabelle was safe at camp once before, it didn’t end well. “Arthur, look after her with your life.”, Dutch said as he looked at Arthur. 

“Fine...”, Arthur said, but he knew this was a bad idea. The four of them got on their horses and began to ride out to where the O’Driscolls were happy to meet. Dutch kept close to Cathryn the entire time, poised and ready to pounce if there was an attack on them. 

“You know, I’ve been fighting Colm for so long now that I don’t remember a time when it was any different.”, Dutch confessed. 

“Yeah and we’re still fighting them now, I just don’t want anyone else to die needlessly...”, Arthur said, Micah scoffed at the statement. 

“I’m not risking lives, I’m saving them. We got Pinkertons coming after us, Leviticus Cornwall and his private army, and now this local hillbilly thing? Can we really afford to be fighting all these fronts and the O’Driscolls?”, Cathryn thought for a moment, it did make sense, but she would never trust the O’Driscolls. 

“Look, I’m just nervous...”, Arthur said, taking a glance at Cathryn. 

“You aren’t gonna be the one in danger Arthur, you or Cathy, we’ll find you both a nice perch to settle into. Me and Dutch will walk into the lions den and you can cover us with your rifle. You got a rifle Cathy?”, Micah asked. 

“Afraid not...” 

“You can have mine.”, Micah said, digging into his satchel on his horse and pulling out a rifle. “She’s a beauty so make sure she stays in one piece when I get her back.”, he passed it over to her. 

“Will do, thank you Micah.”, Dutch watched the exchange. 

“You okay with how to shoot?”, he asked, Cathryn nodded. She had shot a rifle a few times. “Don’t worry Arthur, with you two watching over me I would be happy to walk into hell itself.”, Cathryn smiled at Dutch, he smiled back. She was worried for Dutch too, who knew what Colm could do in a second. They began to ride up a steep hill, Micah told them they were close and Cathryn felt her heart beat quicken. 

“Alright you two, peel on up ahead, me and Dutch are going this way. Find a spot above us where you can keep an eye on things.”, Micah said. Dutch nodded to Cathryn; she could tell he was uncertain about leaving her but she just smiled in hope to ease his nerves. He eventually followed Micah, leaving Arthur and Cathryn alone. They made their way up the hill, Cathryn always preferred cross country riding but even this was a struggle for her and Rosemary. But by the time they made it to the top she gazed at the horizon in wonder, it was beautiful. They got off their horses and crouched down low, making their way to the edge of the hill so they could look down on Dutch and Micah. 

“You okay?”, Arthur said as he pulled out his rifle. “You were quiet on the journey.” 

“I’m fine, it’s just, the O’Driscolls killed my parents. I don’t remember them much but it still hurts.”, Arthur nodded, he understood it well. “Also I’m just scared, for Dutch.”, Arthur looked over at her, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“He’ll be okay, that man will always find a way to survive.”, Cathryn smiled and took out her rifle. “There...”, Arthur said, pointing to Dutch and Micah riding in. The two of them got as low down as possible, Cathryn looking at the scene through her binoculars. Three horses came riding in from the other side as Dutch and Micah got off their horses. The three men then did the same and they began to walk towards each other, Cathryn kept her hand on the trigger. They moved even closer, talking for a while until Cathryn heard something behind her. She went to turn around when she saw two large men towering over her and Arthur with guns in their hands. Then everything went black. 

*** 

Cathryn slowly woke up, her head pounding as if she had a whole bottle of moonshine. She looked around to see her arms were strapped to the walls and her feet tied together. She tried to struggle, hoping to get free but the ropes were tight on her wrists. She looked around, she was in a small cabin that was illuminated by candlelight, in front of her was a table with some supplies but until she could get out it was useless. 

Fuck, it had been a trap, but how the fuck did they know that her and Arthur were up there? Did they have Dutch and Micah too? She wondered where Arthur was, hoping he was still alive. She heard a loud noise and looked up to see a man coming down some stairs, ah so she was underground somehow. The man was carrying a lantern and some food on a tray, it smelled amazing, her stomach turning in hunger. How long had she been knocked out? 

“So, you must be Cathryn? It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Colm O’Driscoll.”, Cathryn looked up at him, she was afraid but she wouldn’t show it. “Not talking huh? I just don’t understand it...”, Colm said as he began to pace around the room. “Beautiful girl like you...why are you riding around with old Dutch van der Linde? I mean I know he loves the ladies, that’s why I like him, but you could do so much better...” 

“What like you?”, Cathryn hissed and Colm faced her, smirking. 

“No, you’re loyal to him. I can see that, I respect that! Especially in a woman...”, He then knelt down so he was face to face with her and offered her some food, she hesitated but shook her head. “You see, you all killed a bunch of my boys at six point cabin...and I don’t know...I just want to see Dutch suffer.” 

“Why me? He'll just get a new girl, you really think he cares? He loved Annabelle.”, Cathryn was trying to lie but Colm saw right past it and laughed. 

“I like you. You’re smart but not smart enough if you think you can lie to me. I always thought Dutch preached the truth.”, Cathryn frowned, he then took his index finger, stroking her scar from the jugular to the side. “Now this, this looks familiar. Killing you would be too easy, too predictable. I have a better idea, what better way to break a man’s heart than for his best friend to betray him, to take the love of his life?” 

“What are you on about?” Cathryn asked, confused as to where Colm was heading. 

“To find out your right hand man, your own son in everything but blood, took the virtue of the woman you loved, that would drive any man insane. Tell me, do you think he would kill Arthur? Or abandon you?”, Cathryn gritted her teeth, pulling against her restraints. 

“Arthur would never do that to him.”, Colm sniggered as he stood up, taking out his gun and pointing it to her head. 

“Oh, I think I could persuade him.”, Cathryn began to shiver, her breathing uneasy. Arthur would never take her by force, he wouldn’t, she would rather die. “So I ask you again, what will Dutch do?” 

“Both.”, she confessed, Colm laughed as he began to leave. 

“I knew you were smart. Rest easy now my dear, the next time I see you I'll be bringing your new lover.”, he climbed the stairs and left, slamming the door behind him. Only when she was certain he had gone did she burst into tears. 

*** 

Cathryn kept tugging at her restraints, there was no way she’d go down without a fight. As much as she hoped that Arthur would refuse or that Dutch would be reasonable if he found out, there was no guarantee. Her wrists were almost raw and she had no idea how long Colm had been gone but she couldn’t give up, especially when her left hand was almost free. She kept wriggling her hand, pulling against the knot when she felt her hand finally slip through. She thanked her lucky stars that she had such small hands. Her left hand then immediately went to her right wrist, undoing the knot. She clutched both hands to her chest, wheezing as she saw how red they were, but it was a relief to not have them suspended in the air. She looked behind her and managed to untie her ankles and slowly got up. The weight on her ankles was too much and she stumbled into the table, once she regained her breath and balance, she looked around the cabin for anything that could help her. Unfortunately, Colm was smart and hadn’t left any weapons just in case. There was however a piece of wood that could do nicely as a stake, it was all she had so she would go for it. She had no idea where Arthur was or whether it was safer to get Arthur or find Dutch first. She didn’t even know where she was, but they must have horses here somewhere. She just needed to sneak on one and she would be free. All of a sudden she heard the door open and quickly hid underneath the table, she would have to kill this guy or he would sound an alarm. She waited until he came down the stairs and looked around before running out from under the table and aiming the stake towards his throat. 

“Cathy!”, he shouted, only just managing to stop her from puncturing his jugular. It was Arthur. 

“Arthur!”, she dropped the stake and pulled him into an embrace. “Wait...”, she stepped back, suddenly afraid. “Did he bring you here?” 

“No.”, he stepped forwards, offering his hands to show he wasn’t going to do anything to her. “I refused Colm, he beat me up a bit and told me he was going to let us sweat it out a bit. He told me you were next door.”, Cathryn nodded and took Arthur in, he looked like an absolute mess, what had Colm done to him? 

“We need to get out of here.”, Cathryn said, Arthur nodding. 

“It’s dark outside, not many O’Driscolls about. I saw some horses just to the right of this cabin, if we sneak behind it we might get a head start.”, Cathryn nodded and saw Arthur sway on his feet, she needed to get him out of here now before he fainted. 

“Come on then.”, she picked up her wooden stake just in case and the two slowly climbed the stairs to the door. Arthur slowly opened the door and Cathryn saw how dark it was, the perfect cover for them to sneak out. There were a group of O’Driscolls by a campfire but if they were quick then they wouldn’t be seen. Cathryn snuck out the door, opening it a bit wider for Arthur to get through and the two of them went behind the cabin for cover, Arthur gripped his shoulder, he was in a lot of pain. 

“Just over there...”, he pointed at the small herd of horses. They crept closer and made it to the edge of their cover. “You grab that one and I’ll grab the other.” 

“No, we take one horse. I won’t risk you dying on me or getting caught.” 

“What if they catch us?”, Arthur asked, he didn’t know if he would get away but Cathryn had a chance. She held his hands. 

“I’m stuck with you, I won’t leave you.”, Arthur sighed but nodded, he never could convince her to change her mind. They waited for the right moment and on Arthurs signal they ran for the nearest horse they could find, Arthur helped Cathryn get up first and in return she pulled him up in his weakened state. He groaned in pain but eventually the two were on the horse and Cathryn drove the horse away from camp. Unfortunately, they had been spotted and she heard some men going after them. 

“Shit.”, Arthur said, “Just keep going, try and lose them.”, Cathryn nodded and tried every trick in the book. She remembered Dutch told her all the ways to lose someone if they were following you on horseback. Go off the main roads, cross country if you can, find somewhere with lots of cover like a forest, take advantage of your surroundings and never make too much noise. She had no idea where she was so her only mission was to get them as far from the camp as possible, Arthur began to sag against her, he was in a really bad way. 

“Arthur, stay with me. I think I lost them.”, Arthur grunted and laid his head on her shoulder. Shit, she had no idea where she was, maybe she could go back to the main road. When she finally found one she tried to make the horse go faster, she couldn’t afford to be slow and steady, not with Arthur dying on her. After riding for a while, she finally found a sign post that told her Rhodes was only a few miles away. “It’s okay Arthur, we’ll be home in no time. Tell me what happened, don’t stay quiet on me now.”, Arthur started to cough but at least he was stirring. 

“I woke up a couple of times when they were taking us to their camp, tried to escape twice but they kept finding and beating the shit out of me.”, Cathryn was surprised he managed to get up twice, she was stone cold out until Colm visited her. “Colm wanted me to join him, this whole thing wasn’t about Dutch it was about us. They wanted Dutch to find us, and have the law there when he showed up. Then he started going on about you and breaking Dutch’s heart, Colm said he would kill you if I refused to do what he wanted.”, Cathryn nodded, tears filling her eyes, she remembered that bit. “I was shot, had to perform some surgery on myself to stop the bleeding.”, Cathryn winced, she had an idea of what that entailed. “What happened to you? Did they hurt you?” 

“No. I just need to get you back.”, she said, wanting to move from the subject. Even though Colm hadn’t hurt her she was terrified, something had broken her. Slowly she began to recognise where she was now, even in the dark. Arthur was slumping on her again, she felt behind her touching his forehead, it was so hot. She went through the stream and into the forests where the camp was hidden. She was almost home, she would make it. 

“Whose there?”, she heard Sadie shouting. 

“Cathryn and Arthur! We need help!”, Cathryn shouted as she rode into camp, everyone ran towards them. Cathryn jumped off her horse, trying to help Arthur down, Lenny and Charles came over to help. “Thank you...”, she whispered. 

“Cathryn!”, Dutch shouted, she span around and was enveloped by him. He held on for a few moments before grabbing her face tightly. “What happened? Are you okay?”, she watched the men take Arthur to get him checked out. “Cathy!”, Dutch said, trying to get her attention. 

“I’m fine, Arthur needs help...”, she went to move towards Arthur but Dutch kept a firm grip. 

“Thought maybe you and cowpoke had run away together...”, Micah sniggered from the side. Dutch didn’t appear very happy with Micah’s words, gritting his teeth together. 

“Screw you Micah!”, Cathryn spat but was dragged away by Dutch towards his tent. 

“Tell me everything. Colm agreed to the parley but when we went to find you, you were both gone.”, Cathryn looked around to Arthur, tears forming in her eyes. “It’s been days Cathryn. I tried to find you, I feared the worst...” 

“They tricked you. It was a trap.”, she looked back at Dutch, tears falling onto her cheeks. “They wanted me and Arthur. It was never about a parley.”, Dutch scrunched his eyebrows together. “ Colm wanted to punish you...”, she began to cry, leaning into Dutch’s shoulder as he held her tight. 

“What happened sweetheart? Tell me everything...” 

“I was knocked out cold until I woke up in their campsite. Colm, he said he wanted to break your heart, that killing me was too easy. He was going to threaten Arthur to rape me...” 

“What?”, Dutch seethed as he pulled away, staring at her face. 

“He said that it would ruin you...that you’d leave me and you’d kill Arthur...”, Dutch shook his head as if he didn’t understand what he was hearing. 

“Did Arthur touch you?” 

“What?”, she was shocked by his question, of all the things he could have asked that was what he wanted to know. 

“I said, did Arthur touch you?”, Cathryn shook her head, he was getting more and more angry. 

“No, he didn’t...he saved me.”, Dutch looked around, completely overwhelmed as he stormed over to where Arthur was, Cathryn ran behind him, calling his name. Rain had begun to pour down over the camp. 

“Arthur!”, Dutch shouted, as he came up to him. Ms. Grimshaw was cleaning his bullet wound and Cathryn could finally see what they had done to him. Arthur looked up, though she could tell the fever was causing him to not think clearly. “Tell me what happened, tell me the truth. Did you touch her?”, Cathryn gripped his arm, telling him to stop, telling him to give Arthur some space but Dutch pulled away from her. “Tell me!” 

“You think I would?”, Arthur asked. Dutch remained silent, that was the answer Arthur needed. “I’m surprised Dutch, I thought you trusted me.” 

“I asked you a question.”, Arthur stood up suddenly, wincing at his wound, but she could see that he no longer cared. Arthur had had enough. 

“No! No, I didn’t. But if that’s all you gotta say after the shit we’ve just been through then maybe Colm was right. Even if they held a gun to her head, even if it was the only way to save her life, you would have killed me.”, Dutch stared at Arthur. “I can see it. I can see it in your eyes.”, Dutch looked to the ground and shook his head. 

“I want you to rest, no leaving camp until you’re fully healed.”, Dutch said to Arthur, he then looked over to Cathryn. “Go to my tent, I’m going for a walk...”, with that he walked down to the water, leaving Cathryn, Arthur and Ms. Grimshaw in the pouring rain. Cathryn looked at Arthur one more time before heading back to Dutch’s tent, she had never felt so numb. She crawled onto the cot and held herself, she never wanted to leave this tent again. 

As Ms. Grimshaw was dressing Arthurs wound she noticed that he kept glancing at Dutch’s tent. “Watch out for her...”, she said to Arthur, he looked at her suddenly. “Watch out for her with him...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, my longest chapter! The whole idea for this chapter was what inspired me to write this story in the first place! Thanks everyone who has supported this story with your Kudos and comments! It means so much to me :)


	28. Madness

Cathryn woke up the next morning, engulfed by Dutch. He was awake, staring at her raw wrists, stroking them lightly with his thumb. It was as if he were afraid anymore pressure would cause them to snap off. Cathryn grumbled and moved slightly so he knew she was awake, she hadn’t seen him since he stormed off last night. 

“I’m sorry for last night, I overreacted...”, he said, glancing at her. 

“Yeah you did...”, she grumbled, still under the influence of sleep. 

“Regardless...”, he grunted as he stroked a singular curl away from her face. “After I collected my thoughts I apologised to Arthur. So don’t worry, everything is fine now.”, Cathryn shifted so she was facing Dutch, she was glad he had talked with Arthur but since she wasn’t there she had no idea whether the whole issue really was resolved or if they were just trying to keep it together for appearances. 

“I just, part of me hoped that if Arthur had been forced to make that decision, you would have understood. You would have been angry at Colm, not me or Arthur. Now I just don’t know...” 

“No, you’re right. I played right into Colm’s trap. It’s just...I see the way Arthur looks at you and I become nervous. And Micah...well Micah has seen it too...”, Cathryn sat up, Micah had obviously been putting thoughts in Dutchs head. 

“What did Micah say?”, Dutch sighed as he stroked the hair around Cathryns face. 

“Just that he’d seen you two around each other when no one else was looking. That perhaps...you two had run off together...”, Cathryn furrowed her eyebrows, why would Micah say that? 

“Don’t you think it’s strange? That Micah wanted me and Arthur to come with you two? That we were the people that Colm wanted? And then when we were gone he was planting the same seeds that Colm wanted?”, Dutch sighed and nodded slowly. 

“Don’t worry, I had the same thoughts myself last night. I spoke with Micah and he swore to me that he had nothing to do with it...” 

“And you believe him?”, Cathryn asked incredulously. 

“I’m not sure...”, Dutch said, staring at Cathryn. “But I have no evidence of his treachery and he’s been loyal to me since he saved my life.”, Cathryn shook her head in disbelief, Micah had to have been involved, there were no such thing as coincidences. “If it makes you feel any better...”, Dutch said as he sat up, facing Cathryn. “I did tell him that if anything happened to you, anything at all under his watch or his idea, I would shoot him between the eyes and let the birds have him.”, Cathryn stared at Dutch, she had no doubt he would keep his promise. “I promise...he won’t hurt you again...”, Cathryn nodded and rested against Dutch’s shoulder, he wrapped his arms tight around her. 

“Do you mind if I don’t do many missions for a while? I just...don’t feel like I’ve recovered...”, Dutch straightened up, looking at her, watching for her weaknesses. 

“Of course, sweetheart, you stay here all you like...”, Cathryn nodded. She had enough of near-death experiences for a while, she would just be a nervous wreck if Dutch made her do anything, would probably be more of a hazard than help. “Now, I’ve got some errands to do. I’ll be back in a few hours.”, Dutch kissed the side of her head and stood up, getting ready to leave. “Will you be okay on your own?”, Cathryn nodded as she stared at Dutch, he was so meticulous with his appearance, she liked it about him. Once he was ready to go Dutch smiled, kissing her cheek and walking out of the tent. 

*** 

After Cathryn had enough of isolation in the tent she went outside, it was rather cool and cloudy thanks to the rain last night and everything smelled fresh and new. She walked over to Abigail who was doing some sewing, Jack was bothering her. 

“Jack, why don’t you go play?” 

“It’s boring on my own...”, he whined, usually Jack was good when it came to being lonely, he was the only child around, but today it just wasn’t enough. 

“How about Cathryn takes you by the lake?”, Abigail said loudly, looking over to Cathryn, begging her to go along with it. Cathryn laughed and walked over to Jack, crouching down low. 

“I don’t think the lake is very safe...Didn’t Dutch tell you about the lake monster?”, she gasped, covering her mouth, pretending that Jack wasn’t supposed to hear that. 

“A lake monster!”, Hook, line and sinker. 

“Jack shh...you aren’t supposed to tell anyone! Secret information!”, she put her fingers to her lips and Jack did the same. “I was supposed to check it out today...if you’re really good you can come with me and we can try and find it together...What do you say?”, Jack nodded wildly, Abigail laughed and shooed the two of them away. They walked towards the lake together. 

“Have you ever seen a lake monster?”, Jack asked curiously. 

“Only once, it wasn’t that big but that’s because it was a small lake.”, Cathryn said as they made it to the water's edge. 

“This is a big lake...”, Jack said as he gazed out onto the open water. Cathryn nodded. “Will we be safe?”, they walked along the shore, away from camp. 

“Of course, lake monsters can’t come on land.”, Jack nodded as if that made total sense and Cathryn smiled to herself. Jack was such a sweet-heart, having him around brought such an innocent light to the camp. Cathryn started to wonder if maybe she would want children of her own, maybe one day, maybe if Dutch wanted to. “Can you still see the camp?”, Cathryn asked as they looked behind them. 

“Yeah! Only just...”, Jack said, squinting his eyes. Cathryn laughed but it stopped immediately as she turned around when she saw the guns. There was a group of five men, she had never seen them before but it wasn’t the Lemoyne riders. Cathryn brought out her pistol, aiming it at the man closest to her. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you Miss. You shoot that weapon and we got four bullets going into the little boys head.”, Cathryn looked back to camp and then to Jack. 

“What do you want?”, Cathryn asked. Jack tried to hide behind her skirt, she placed her hand softly on his head, hoping it would sooth him. 

“Ms. Braithwaite knows everything and she demands payment for everything you’ve done to her and her family.”, Fuck, Cathryn thought. She knew they would figure it out. 

“How much?”, Cathryn asked, if this was about money then maybe they could get away with it. 

“Oh no, that’s not how this is going to work. You’re coming with us, you and the boy.” 

“Take me, leave the boy.”, Cathryn demanded but the man shook his head. Cathryn sighed, “Promise me he won’t be harmed...” 

“I give you my word.”, Cathryn clenched her fists, what she wouldn’t give to put a bullet through this man’s eyes but it would be a death sentence for her and Jack. 

“Fine, we’ll go.”, she turned around to Jack, crouching to his level. “Jack, we’re going to have to go with these men. Don’t worry, they won’t hurt us. We’ll be back soon, I promise.”, Jack looked back to camp, hoping to see his mother but eventually nodded. Cathryn picked him up and got on one of the men’s horses. She could only hope Dutch would be back soon from his errands. 

*** 

As they pull up to Braithwaite manor, Mrs. Braithwaite is by the door, a horse and carriage is also by the manor. Cathryn gets off the horse and places Jack down as well. 

“Ah, there you are.”, Mrs. Braithwaite says. “Good, two of them should do nicely. Take the boy, Bronte will find good work for him.”, Cathryn looked to Jack and then the carriage, quickly wrapping her arms around him. 

“No! You aren’t taking him!”, she cried, she would die before they took Jack. She couldn’t do that to John or Abigail. 

“Let go of him or we’ll shoot.”, one of the men shouted, pointing his gun at Cathryn. 

“Then do it.”, she spat. A shot was heard, it went past her ear. 

“Next time I won’t miss. Let him go.”, the man shouted, more of them started to crowd in. 

“No, stay away!”, she shouted, Jack was starting to cry. “You promised he wouldn’t be hurt!” 

“He won’t be...”, Mrs. Braithwaite said, the old crone came down the stairs. “Not by me anyway...”, Cathryn bared her teeth at the women, looking to make a run for it when a man grabbed her by the hair, she let go of Jack in shock and he was quickly snatched up by another man. 

“No!”, she cried, “Let him go! Let him go!”, Mrs. Braithwaite came before her. 

“Such savagery...you’re like an animal.” 

“Rather an animal than a demon!”, Cathryn hissed, spitting on Mrs. Braithwaite, who wiped the spit from her face. 

“Lock her in the east bedroom. Tie her down, I don’t want her escaping.”, Two men began to drag her away but she struggled at every turn, she wasn’t going to make this easy for them. She kept her eye out for Jack, watching as he was forced into the wagon. 

“Jack! Jack! I will find you! I will! I promise!”, but the door was slammed behind her. 

*** 

_“You are sin, nothing more and nothing less. For many, you will be an object to be desired, for others you will be a weapon. It is your job to cleanse that sin from your body and start anew.”, Sister Margaret said as she paced in front of Cathryn. “Innocence is purity.”_

_“How do I do that?”, Cathryn asked, she wanted desperately to be good._

_“Confession will do to start with, you’re becoming good at it Cathryn, keep it up.”, Cathryn smiled to herself. “But...more could be done...”_

_“Anything Sister Margaret.”, Cathryn said, meaning every word, she would do anything to please her._

_“Pain is an anchor, it brings us down to earth. It reminds us that we are human, something many men seem to forget. We must feel pain to find forgiveness.”, Cathryn nodded, it made sense, the amount of times Dutch and Hosea put themselves in danger, as if they would never be harmed, as if they weren’t human. Sister Margaret said they were filled with sin._

_“What do I need to do?”, she asked, gazing at Sister Margaret who had turned to her._

_“One step at a time.”, Cathryn heard the crack before she felt it. Falling to the floor she grasped her cheek in pain. This was the first time Sister Margaret struck her._

“You witch!”, Mrs. Braithwaite said as she struck Cathryn once more. “When they come for you, and they will, they will see what happens when you try and mess with the Braithwaite's!”, Cathryn gasped for air, her cheek was starting to tingle, but all she could think about was Jack. She looked at Mrs. Braithwaite and smiled. 

“He’s going to kill you.”, she promised, coughing out a laugh. Mrs Braithwaite scowled. “He’s going to kill all of you, and I won’t stop him. I’ll watch.”, she was struck again, this time with her cane. Cathryn moaned in pain. 

“Those mongrels will die before they enter my property, I want to see the look on your face as I show you the pile of corpses.”, she stabbed the cane into Cathryn’s ribs, the scream could be heard through the entire house. “Then I’ll string you up like the Yankee whore you are.” 

“Madam!”, one of her servants cried, “The Yankees, they’re here.”, Mrs Braithwaite smirked as she turned to Cathryn but was unnerved by the smile on her face. 

“I so look forward to seeing you lose, seeing that hope leave your eyes. Nothing would bring me more pleasure than your pain.”, Cathryn said softly, staring at Mrs. Braithwaite. 

“I want every gun on them now.”, she ordered to her guards. 

“Get down here now! You inbred trash!”, Cathryn heard Dutch cry from outside. She laughed, the pain bringing her into a state of hysteria, it was so deafening that the crone had to leave the room. The thunder of gunshots was like music to Cathryn’s ears, she heard the Braithwaite’s fall and knew with full certainty that Dutch was coming for her. Her Dutch, who would move mountains for her. She heard them entering the manor, heard them shouting out for her but the matriarch ran back into the room with her two sons, putting a gun to her head. 

“Don’t make a fucking sound.”, she hissed in Cathryn’s ear. 

“How does it feel knowing everything you ever worked for is about to vanish before your very eyes?”, Cathryn asked, glancing to the old woman’s face that was filled with fury, and now something else, fear. Suddenly, the door to the bedroom from the porch slammed open, Arthur and John rushing in and shooting the Braithwaite sons in the blink of an eye. Mrs Braithwaite shrieked as Hosea and Dutch burst through the double doors on the other side of the room. Joy filled Cathryn as she saw Dutch, he had come for her. Arthur grabbed Mrs Braithwaite and threw her to Dutch, checking if Cathryn was okay. 

“Shall I kill you too woman?”, Dutch spat, pushing her against the wall. 

“You bastards!”, she cried. 

“Where’s the boy?”, Hosea asked, then with her silence turned to Cathryn. “Where’s Jack?” 

“They took him, to a man called Bronte. I tried to stop them John I did...”, Cathryn said, tears filling her eyes as she turned to John. John just looked lost, he began to pace the room, his head in his hands. 

“You killed my sons!”, the old woman wailed. 

“Oh and I will surely kill the rest of them...”, Dutch promised. “You stole from me, you hurt my love...for that I will watch this place burn...now tell me...where is the boy?!” 

“I know your type, common scum!”, she spat and Dutch looked around the room, trying to hold in his anger. He then grabbed her by the hair, dragging her out of the house, shooting her two sons one more time to ensure their deaths, she wailed as he took her down the stairs. Arthur helped Cathryn get up, giving her one of his pistols. 

“Are you okay?”, Cathryn nodded. 

“I’ll be fine when she’s dead and Jack is found.”, she then stormed out of the room to follow Dutch, descending down the stairs. “Dutch, are you sure you got them all?” 

“Don’t worry, everyone in this goddamn place is dead, unlike Mrs. Braithwaite here...”, the old woman screamed as she tried to get away from Dutch but his grip was firm. “I want this whole place burnt down to the ground...are you sure Jack isn’t here?”, he asked softly, though he still refused to look at her. 

“I saw him get in the wagon...”, Cathryn said, Dutch noting the guilt in her voice. 

“We’ll get him back, I promise you.”, when they reached the bottom of the stairs, smoke was already beginning to fill the hall, embers flying about the room, it was getting hot. This place would go down in moments. A man ran from one of the rooms into the halls. “Don’t worry I-”, a shot was heard and the man fell to the floor, Dutch looked around to see Cathryn with Arthurs pistol in her hand. 

“Let’s go.”, she said as they made their way out of the house, Mrs Braithwaite tried to crawl to the man who had been shot but Dutch wouldn’t let her go. 

“You damn Yankee!”, she cried as Dutch dropped her outside of her house. Everyone was standing watching her. 

“Why’d you take the boy?” Hosea asked, Dutch aimed his gun towards her head. 

“You stole from me...” 

“Boys are off limits!”, Hosea cried. 

“There ain’t no rules in war...”, she spat, if her stare could kill they would all be dead. Dutch shot the ground near her and she welped in fear. “I gave him to Angelo Bronte. So he could be in Saint Denis, or on a boat to Italy by now...” 

“Good, let’s go...”, Hosea said, willing to leave the old woman on her own to watch the burning of her house. 

“One moment.”, Dutch said as he knelt down towards her. “You didn’t just steal the boy though, did you? You stole from me too. Tell me, my dear...”, he whispered, looking at Cathryn. “Who gave you those bruises?” 

“It was her...”, Cathryn said, pointing at Mrs Braithwaite. 

“The truth is Mrs. Braithwaite, I’m in love with that woman you beat so savagely. Love, it drives you mad...” 

“You’re a monster, all of you! Animals!”, she shouted. 

“Maybe I am a monster...but you should have known better to steal from one.”, he then shot her in the stomach, it was a fatal blow but it would take a while for her to die. Cathryn watched as she screamed in pain, she promised Mrs Braithwaite that she would watch while she died and she intended to keep that promise. Dutch got up, looking at the burning building then turned to Cathryn. “There you are...” he said as he came closer, grabbing her face in his hands and pulling her into a passionate kiss. He held her tight as if he was never going to let go, the heat from the fire keeping them warm in the cold night. She almost forgot the rest of the gang were still around. She had never loved Dutch more than she did now, standing in front of the burning manor, held tightly in his arms, whilst Mrs. Braithwaite drew her final breath.


	29. Running away

As Dutch lifted her onto The Count, Cathryn watched the Braithwaite manor go up in flames, it was truly a sight to behold. He followed up behind her, gripping her waist tightly. 

“So, I guess our cover is blown with the Braithwaite’s...”, Cathryn said. 

“The Grays too.”, Arthur said as he rode near them. “We were ambushed, it was meant to be a security job, they killed Sean.”, Cathryn raised her hand to her mouth in shock. Sean was such a lovely man, drunk and crazy but lovely, she was going to miss him so much. “As soon as we got the message we came straight here...” 

“Thank you, we need to get Jack.”, Cathryn said as they began to ride away from the smouldering building. 

“We will, she said he was in Saint Denis so we’ll look there. We’ll need to move camp as soon as possible.”, Hosea said as they rode through the fields, the night sky illuminated by the large fire. 

“Anyone have any idea where we could go?”, Dutch asked the group. 

“Me and Lenny found an old, abandoned house called Shady Belle. It was inhabited by some Lemoyne riders but we managed to get most of them out.”, Arthur said. 

“I want you, John and Lenny to go over there, scout the area, make sure they’re all gone. Then we’ll move in...”, Cathryn thought for a moment, living in a house would be quite nice, makes a change from camping outdoors. 

“Then we’ll find Jack?”, John asked Dutch, Cathryn could tell he was desperate to get him back as soon as possible. 

“I give you my word John, we will find him.”, Dutch swore. John nodded and rode up ahead, he wanted some time to himself. “Are you alright my dear? You look like you took quite the beating...”, Dutch said softly as he stroked Cathryn’s waist. 

“Nothing I couldn’t handle, I’m just worried about Jack...I feel like I let everyone down. I couldn’t stop them.”, Cathryn said, eyes down onto the ground as shame filled her. 

“Try not to worry Cathy...”, Hosea said. “You did all that you could, try and look after yourself. You’ve been through enough the past few weeks.”, Cathryn nodded, she felt exhausted. She did want things to calm down. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll look after you.”, Dutch whispered in her ear, kissing the top of her head, Cathryn sighed and tried to melt into him, finding comfort in his embrace. Once they had reached camp, Dutch jumped off his horse and brought Cathryn down with him. Karen came up to the group as they hitched up, Cathryn could tell she had been crying. 

“We’ve dug a grave for Sean, we were hoping you would say a few words Dutch...”, Dutch nodded and holding Cathryn’s hand he walked over to the grave in which Sean was buried. Everyone assembled around them. 

“Evening everyone, I know this has been a hard day. Sean, well Sean was a good man. He was well loved in this gang. His adventures, both sober and drunk, shall live within our hearts. He was with us, loyal to the cause till the very end. His death shall not be in vain! We have all lost someone today but someone has also been lost to us. When we rescued Cathryn from the Braithwaite’s we expected to find young Jack too but we’ve been told he’s been taken to a man in Saint Denis.”, Abigail and John looked utterly heartbroken. “Arthur and John are going to scout out a new place for us, then as soon as it’s cleared, we will move in and find Jack. We will get him back, I promise. Thank you to everyone who helped with Sean’s burial, I’m sure he would be very happy to know he was surrounded by friends and family...”, Everyone bowed their heads in silence and respect for a few moments and then slowly dispersed. Dutch ushering Cathryn into their tent. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone...”, Cathryn said, looking one last time at the grave before closing the tent entrance. Dutch came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

“He will be missed...”, Cathryn turned around to him, they were so close now. “But in all honesty, this day could have been a lot worse. You’re alive and so is Jack as far as we know. We will find him.”, Cathryn nodded. 

“I knew you would come for me...”, Cathryn said softly, smiling at Dutch. 

“I would ride through the burning pits of hell for you my dear...”, with that he pulled her closer, kissing her hard on the lips, it was something primal that she had only witnessed a few times before, but she loved it. In these moments it was as if he were made of pure power, even she couldn’t help but fall to the charms of it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and squealed as he picked her up, holding herself up by wrapping her legs around his waist. It was as if she weighed nothing to him. He put her down on the table by the bed, taking his lips off hers and surveying her every move. 

“Well...what now?” Cathryn asked, Dutch smirked and kissed her again, gripping her head in his hands and then slowly sliding them along her jaw. When he reached her neck, he moved towards her hair that was tied up in a ponytail. 

“I always preferred your hair down...”, he said as he let it out of its style, falling down her back. “So wild, but easily tamed if you know how.”, he gathered her hair up in a fist and pulled slightly, she moaned, throwing her head back. He stared at her like that for a moment, watching her squirm as she had no idea what he would do next and then descended his lips upon her jaw, moving down towards her neck. She wriggled at the sensation, she was always ticklish when it came to her neck, but he held her still with her hair tight in his hands. She was trying to keep quiet; she didn’t want others to hear her but when he started rolling her skin through his teeth, she couldn’t help but let out a whine. 

“Dutch...”, she moaned quietly, feeling hot between her legs. 

“I’m sick of people not understanding that you belong to me...”, he whispered in her ear. “Maybe we should make it more obvious hm?”, he asked as he bit down on her again, harder this time. Cathryn yelped and tried to move but Dutch kept her still. “Maybe I should just not let you out of my sight...”, Cathryn frowned and tried to pull away. “No... you would just become unruly again”. He pulled her towards him by the hair on her head. “What am I going to do with you?”, he whispered, so close his lips were barely touching hers. 

“We could run away together...”, Cathryn said softly. “Build a new life, just you and me...”, Dutch stepped back, letting go of her hair. He looked confused, lost even. “What? Do you not like the sound of that?”, Cathryn said as she sat up. 

“No, it’s not that...”, Dutch said, but Cathryn knew she had ruined the moment. “It’s just, I have a plan. We’re all in this together. I need you to be onboard with it.” 

“You know I’ll follow you always Dutch, it’s just... I don’t want to keep running.”, Dutch looked down and then to the side, as if he were avoiding her gaze. 

“Just one more score, then we should have enough to live our lives...”, Cathryn nodded, though she wasn’t convinced, this was about more than just one score. She took his head in her hands and kissed his cheek. 

“Okay Dutch, sounds like a plan...”, he smiled and wrapped her in his embrace. “Can we go to bed, I’m kind of tired.” 

“Of course, sweet-heart.”


	30. Reunion

Shady Belle would have been a beauty in its day but it stood derelict and crumbling. Cathryn wondered if there could be a way to fix it, renovate it so that it would return to its formal glory but for now it would do as a base. The house was surrounded with swamp and marshlands which Cathryn wasn’t too fond of but the views at sunrise were worth the trek they all had made. 

“Want to see where we’re staying my dear?”, Dutch asked as he snuck behind her, kissing her on the cheek. She smiled and nodded, excited that they would no longer be living in a tent outside. He took her upstairs to the master bedroom, a large double bed that would fit the both of them. She ran over and jumped on it, stretching out as wide as she could. 

“You really picked a good spot this time Dutch...”, she sighed. Dutch laughed under his breath and sat down on the side of the bed, running his hand up and down her left calf. 

“We can make the most of it later. But right now we need to go to Saint Denis, try and find out who this Angelo Bronte is. You wanna come with me and Arthur?”, Cathryn sat up and smiled, nodding. She had never been to Saint Denis but she was told it was a wild place. She was certain Dutch would love the hustle and bustle of it. 

*** 

When they made it to Saint Denis, Dutch had them hide round the side of the saloon for when Arthur arrived. Cathryn didn’t know why but Dutch seemed excited. When she spotted Arthur run towards the saloon, about to open the door, Dutch slinked out from the side and put a gun to Arthurs head. 

“Stick ‘em up cowboy...”, he grumbled, in a voice a bit different from his own, Arthur put his hands up, turning around and upon seeing Dutch groaned. Dutch just laughed as he pulled Cathryn towards him. 

“Real funny Dutch...”, Arthur said but Dutch kept laughing. 

“Yeah I thought so, what did you think my dear? Was I convincing?”, Dutch asked, caressing Cathryn’s cheek. 

“Very. I was scared half to death...”, Cathryn rolled her eyes in jest, Dutch finally managed to calm down. 

“So, here we are in a strange land of papists and rapists, Americas very own Gomorrah.”, he gestured to the chaotic streets of Saint Denis. 

“Looks like every other city I’ve been too...”, Arthur grumbled. “So, what do we know about this Angelo Bronte?” 

“Not too much but I reckon this establishment is the best place we got. Why don’t you ask around, be careful mind you, get some intel. I’ll meet you later, I’ve got my own lead.”, Dutch said as he waved goodbye to Arthur. 

“Where are we off to then? What’s our intel?”, Cathryn asked, twirling around to face Dutch. 

“No intel...I thought we could just wander around, have some alone time...”, Dutch said with a smirk on his face as he came closer. 

“Alone time? In a city?”, Dutch laughed as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. 

“You know what I mean...”, they crossed the road and made their way down the high-street. “I’ve been thinking about what you said and a life with you, just the two of us, doesn’t sound too bad.”, Cathryn stopped to face him. 

“Really?”, Dutch nodded. “But this...”, she gestured to the world surrounding her. “This is your life...” 

“and it’s been fun...”, Dutch said as he came closer, holding both of her hands. “But I think I’ve found something more important.”, Cathryn blushed, looking down to the ground. “I promise, we just need a bit more money and we’ll have the life we’ve dreamed off...”, Dutch put his finger under her chin, lifting it up and kissing her softly. 

“It’s a plan.”, Cathryn said and the two of them continued to stroll down the streets of Saint Denis, laughing and dreaming of what the future could be. 

*** 

They were resting on a bench in each other's arms, watching the world go by when Arthur came over to them. His face was red as he looked as if he had run for miles. 

“What happened to you?” Cathryn asked and Dutch chuckled. 

“Got robbed...”, Arthur confessed, looking almost ashamed. 

“Who by?” Dutch asked, leaning back on the bench, playing with Cathryn’s hair. 

“Bunch of children.”, Dutch laughed. 

“I won’t enquire anymore...”, he stood up, bringing Cathryn with him. 

“I found Mr Bronte, He’s some big Italian mister in town, everybody knows him but no one wants to talk about him.”, Dutch nodded silently as he digested the information, forming a plan. “Apparently he lives in a big house on Flavian street, opposite the park.” 

“Good work.”, Dutch said, patting Arthur on the shoulder. Cathryn watched the two interacting, thankfully it did seem that the whole thing with Colm was under the bridge. She was incredibly grateful for that. “Let’s go pay him a visit, shall we?”, Dutch said, offering his arm to Cathryn which she took immediately. Arthur nodded, trying not to look at Cathryn for too long. 

“I’ll go get John.”, Arthur said, Dutch nodding. 

“Don’t be long. Whatever it takes, we need to get that boy back.”, they walked away from Arthur to get to Flavian street, Cathryn knew that Dutch was overprotective but she was thankful it extended far beyond her. She wondered what he would be like with his own children, she could only imagine the lengths he would go to to protect them. 

“You want me to come along?”, Cathryn asked, Dutch stopped in the middle of the pavement, staring at her. 

“Of course, why wouldn’t I? Do you want to come along?” 

“Yeah I do! I want to save Jack it just seems I keep getting in a lot of trouble lately. Feel like one of those damsels in distress y’know?”, Dutch watched her closely then pulled her into an embrace. 

“I know it’s been tough but you’ve been incredible my dear. Still so strong, so loyal.”, he kissed the top of her head. “I want you by my side always.”, Cathryn looked up, it was almost a declaration of love. She smiled and went on her tiptoes to kiss him softly, he still towered over her. They smiled at each other and made their way to Flavian street, like a pair of love-struck teenagers. 

*** 

It was dark when Arthur and John finally joined them at the park by Flavian street. Once Dutch and Cathryn had found the place they had gone for food and watched dancing in the bar, it was a lot of fun. They had almost forgotten why they were here. Cathryn knew that being with Dutch was the best decision she had made, he made her feel so alive, so full of love and hope. 

“So, what do we know about this guy?”, John said as he joined them. 

“Not much, just some slick, little, greasy-haired European who’s clearly got power and money...”, Dutch said as they walked onto Flavian street. The houses here were grand, it was strange that they would be inside one of them soon, hopefully Bronte would be cooperative. 

“Now, if we go in there and start shooting the place up they will kill Jack, I guarantee it. Feller like this is gonna have a lot of protection.”, Arthur said, Cathryn could tell his only priority was getting the boy back. 

“Ain’t no one gonna get shot Arthur...”, Dutch said, wrapping his arm around Cathryn’s waist. “Just relax, we’ll charm him...” 

“Are you okay John?”, Cathryn asked, looking at how forlorn he was. He nodded but stayed silent as they walked towards the gates of Mr Bronte’s home. There was a man at the door. 

“Excuse me, sir. We have an appointment to see Mr. Bronte...”, Dutch said, putting his mask up. Not a real mask but the kind she saw him use during what he referred to as show-time. Dutch walked closer to the gate as the man demanded to know who they were, when he was close enough Dutch grabbed the mans jacket through the railings and pulled him against the gate. His grip was like a vice, there was no way the man was getting out without helping them. “You get your boss down here and now so we can talk about this like gentlemen...Run along boy...”, he let the man go, who immediately ran into the house. “And now we wait...”, Dutch said, turning around with a smirk on his head. 

“You sure he ain’t coming back with guards to kill us?”, Cathryn said and Dutch shook his head. 

“Nah, make an entrance like that and any man would be intrigued to hear what we have to say.”, suddenly the gate was open and a guard, threatening to shoot, ushered us into the mansion. Dutch walked in, his arms up in surrender and everyone else followed. “Don’t worry boys we come in peace, we just need straighten a couple of things out with your boss...”, Dutch said, a sly smile on his face. Everything was going according to plan. They walked through the mansion and Cathryn almost gasped, it was beautiful, grander than the Braithwaite home. She had never seen a place like it. They were taken into a large sitting room where a man sat. He was shorter than most men she had encountered, not very muscular and growing old. Yet he sat in his chair like he ruled the world, reading his book and sipping on wine. He waited until they were all in the room to finally acknowledge them, his eyes straight on Cathryn. He started to speak in Italian, sounding rather serious, his guards answering after every pause. He was soft spoken but there was something about him that didn’t sit right with Cathryn. 

“Why did you take his son?”, Dutch asked, pointing to John. Bronte looked affronted and sat up in his chair. 

“Excuse me...”, he said. His English was very good. 

“I said...Why did you take his son?”, Dutch said slowly, as if he were talking to a complete foreigner. “We ain’t got no problems with you sir, nor you with us. But if you wanna start one, there is gonna be a lot of dead folks in this room before it’s done.”, Cathryn whipped her head round to Dutch, what was he doing? They were completely outnumbered here. 

“So you walk into my city, stinking of shit and looking like this, you come into my house before you have a bath and you tell me how to act? You ask me to show compassion...have I not shown you almost infinite compassion already by simply allowing you to breath in my presence?”, Cathryn took a step back, she would thank Dutch later with sarcasm if they made it out alive. 

“Indeed you have.”, Dutch said, raising his arms in surrender, moving to sit on the chair opposite Bronte. “We are simple country folk. All we have is each other and you have gone and taken his son over some dispute with some inbred ex-slavers. It ain’t got nothing to do with any of us...” 

“You had nothing to do with destroying the liquor business?”, Bronte shouted accusingly. 

“We were innocent bystanders...”, Dutch said, staying calm despite the growing tension. “and that we weren’t innocent of, well we most surely were ignorant of.”, she could see Bronte listening closely. 

“You...you twist words, you lie shamelessly. You think you are better than everyone else...”, he began to speak more Italian but she could tell he was happy. He looked to his guards laughing. Everyone watched in confusion. He leant forward to shake Dutch’s hand and immediately they were all offered drinks. 

“Dutch van der Linde...”, Dutch introduced. “That is Arthur Morgan...”, Bronte shook his hand, “John Marston...”, another hand. “and the lovely Cathryn Blanchard...”, Bronte stopped before her, taking her hand and kissing it softly. Cathryn smiled but she couldn’t wait for him to remove his lips from her. 

“The pleasure is mine, Miss Blanchard.”, he said, offering her a seat next to Dutch. They all sat down in front of Bronte, taking their drinks. 

“So, can my friend have his son?”, Dutch asked. 

“Of course, of course, but...should I be out of pocket for a misunderstanding?”, Bronte asked, leaning back on his chair, sipping his drink. “Of course, I know you would not want that.”, Dutch shook his head. “So, if you do a simple job for me, you get your son back...” 

“What is it?”, Arthur asked, ready to get down to business. 

“A couple of people have taken to grave robbing in the cemetery...” 

“A good place for it, the best...”, Dutch said and Bronte burst out laughing. 

“I love this guy! He’s the best!”, but Cathryn could see that Bronte was rather laughing at Dutch than with him, he saw them as freaks. “Thing is, they’ve not only stole from the dead but forgot to pay tribute to the living. They see my men and run a mile so maybe if you two could help me...”, he gestured at Arthur and John. “Whilst Mr Van der Linde and Miss Blanchard could correct me on my manners...”, Arthur and John nodded, getting up from their seats and heading out. Cathryn slowly sipped on her drink as Dutch reached his arm out behind her, stroking the center of her back, it calmed her. 

“You have a beautiful house Mr Bronte...”, Cathryn said with a smile as she looked around the room, the fire was greatly appreciated due to the chill outside. 

“Why thank you my dear, that’s the amazing thing about money, you can surround yourself with beautiful things...”, he said, making no attempt to hide his staring at her. “Speaking of beautiful things, how did a woman such as yourself become involved with these men?”, he spoke as if Dutch weren’t there but Dutch remained quiet, listening to what Cathryn had to say. 

“Dutch saved my life and gave me something to live for...”, Cathryn said, placing a hand on Dutch’s knee. A clear enough sign of their relationship, Bronte noticed it straight away. “They’re my family now.”, Bronte nodded, but with a frown on his face. 

“Family is a wonderful thing, alas I have none...”, Bronte said. 

“Maybe one day you will.”, Cathryn said and Bronte nodded. “So, what is it you do?” 

“I’m a business man, a jack of all trades...”, Bronte said, waving his hand in the air. “What about you, Dutch van der Linde?” 

“I’m a dreamer, Mr Bronte. A man who dreams of freedom and love.”, he stroked Cathryn’s hair while staring at Bronte, if Cathryn didn’t know better it looked like a territorial display. Bronte chuckled. 

“Ah yes, it’s beautiful. You know I like you Mr van der Linde, you too Miss Blanchard...I hope to see more of you.” 

“It would be a pleasure Mr Bronte, and I’m sure it won’t be long before my men return from their quest and we can leave you to this fine quiet spring evening.”, Bronte raised his glass in agreement and spoke to his guards in Italian who disappeared. 

“Of course, they are off to fetch the boy. He’s been well taken care of, I assure you. Next time I would keep the things you love close to you, especially in your line of work...”, Bronte said, Cathryn possibly getting a glimpse of a veiled threat. 

“It was an unfortunate accident...”, Dutch said. “Thank you for your advice...”, 

“Don’t mention it! In fact, I was wondering if you and some of your men would like to come to this little garden party I’m attending. It’s at the mayor's house in two week’s time. Of course, I would also insist that Miss Blanchard attend...”, Cathryn looked up at him, at his slimy grin but was thankfully interrupted when the door opened, two guards coming in with little Jack. Cathryn immediately got up and embraced him. Bronte chuckled. 

“We would love to.”, Dutch said but Bronte was too focused on Cathryn to care. 

“Is he yours?”, Bronte asked pointing to Cathryn. “I thought you said it was the other man’s son? Or by freedom and love do you mean at the same time?”, he smirked but Cathryn just tried to ignore him. 

“No, she’s just very close with the boy. Was with him when he was taken...”, Dutch tried to explain. 

“Are you okay Jack?” Cathryn asked. 

“Yeah! I had a nice time!”, Jack said enthusiastically, Cathryn smiled and kissed the top of his head. 

“You may wait outside if you wish...”, Bronte said. “I trust your men to do my bidding...”, Dutch nodded as he stood up, placing his hand visibly on the small of Cathryn’s back and ushering her and Jack out of the room. 

“It was lovely to make your acquaintance Mr Bronte...”, Dutch said before he left. 

“The pleasure was all mine...”, Bronte replied, bowing slightly and staring as they left the room. Cathryn couldn’t wait to get away from this man, he was like a snake. They walked out of the manor and waited by the gate. 

“Are you okay?”, Dutch asked, watching the unease in Cathryn’s face. 

“I’m fine. Just want to get out of here...”, Dutch nodded. They waited for a moment and then watched as Arthur and John emerged from the darkness, walking through the gate. 

“Well you took your time...”, Dutch said, Jack immediately ran towards his father. John picked him up, giving him a huge hug. “Let’s get going...”, Dutch said seriously, taking Cathryn by the waist and moving quickly. Arthur and John looked at each other, wondering what had happened. As they got up on their horses and began to ride home. 

“So, what happened?”, Arthur said as they rode through Saint Denis. 

“Mr Bronte has invited us to a garden party at the mayor’s house.”, Dutch said, glancing at Cathryn. 

“We have a new camp set up, Jack, you’re gonna love it.”, John said, happy that his boy had returned. Cathryn smiled, at least this seemed to have brought John and Jack closer together. “Are you sure you’re okay son?”, Jack nodded. 

“I’m fine! Papa Bronte said you would come for me!”, Cathryn winced, she could only imagine how hard it was for John to hear Jack call Bronte papa. 

“I’m sorry...”, John said but when asked why by Jack he could only mutter. “For that...for taking so long...” 

“It’s okay! I had a nice time! I had my own room with a big bed and a toy box! Oh and lots of books...” 

“Did they do anything to you?”, John asked, worried they had hurt him but Jack didn’t seem to understand. 

“Have you ever had spaghetti?”, he asked. John looked confused. “It looks like worms but it’s delicious! It’s food from Italy! Papa Bronte taught me lots of Italian words.” 

“Don’t call him that, please...”, John said to Jack, pleading for him to stop this torture. Cathryn frowned at the two, noticed by Dutch. 

“I bet you missed your mother though, didn’t you Jack? All these fancy foods and words, they are nothing compared to family.”, Dutch said, looking back at Jack who nodded. 

“I missed you papa.”, Jack said, smiling up at John. That seemed to do the trick, Cathryn smiled at Dutch for helping. 

“Are you alright Cathy? Kind of quiet...”, Arthur asked. 

“I’m okay, Mr Bronte is just a very intense man.”, Arthur watched her, understanding clearly what she meant. 

“He’s gone now, you only have to see him once more at the garden party...”, Dutch said, Cathryn nodded, she could tell Dutch felt just as uneasy about her around Bronte as she did. “But I went in there with a gun and left with a party invitation, each to their own strength...”, Dutch said, boasting to the group. “Every rich fool in Lemoyne will be there...”, they rode into camp and immediately were greeted by the gang who ran over to see Jack. “Abigail! Abigail!”, Dutch shouted from his horse, “We got you your son, everything is fine!”, Abigail ran forward as John helped Jack off his horse. 

“Mama!”, Jack cried as he ran for her, she was in tears, holding him tight and promising to never let go. Cathryn smiled at the exchange, she was so happy they got him back. “They fed me good! Italian food! Ever had some?”, she just laughed. 

“You silly boy! Thank you, you got my son back!”, but Abigail still refused to look at John, Cathryn frowned as she watched him. He looked so sad, as if he had lost everything he just gained. When Abigail and Jack walked off, Cathryn jumped off her horse and placed a hand on Johns back. 

“It will be okay. I promise.”, John smiled at her sadly, not believing her in the slightest, and walked in the other direction. 

“Cathryn, we’re off to have a drink with Hosea, tell him everything. Want to join us?”, Dutch asked as he stood with Hosea. Cathryn nodded, a drink sounded good.


	31. Love

They gathered around the campfire, Dutch with his arm around Cathryn as he planned with Hosea. Others joined them to listen to what was happening, she could clearly see a divide in the camp. Hosea was unsure about getting involved with Angelo Bronte, they were already escaping law and needed to lie low, but Dutch saw this as an amazing opportunity to get rich. Cathryn herself felt like she would side with Hosea, Angelo Bronte had creeped her out. His interest in her was clear, and whilst she was aware that Dutch wouldn’t allow her to come to any harm it was still a risk. She had barely recovered from her past experience with Colm. But besides a bit of tension in the camp, everyone was is reasonably good spirits with Jacks return. 

“I’m a bit tired...”, Cathryn said as the festivities began to lull, “I’m going to head up to bed.”, Dutch watched her closely, kissing her hand. 

“I’ll be up in a moment.”, Cathryn nodded and stood up, wishing everyone a goodnight and went into the manor house. It was strange living in a house again, but she’d been dreaming of that bed since she saw the place. As she went up the stairs and into the master bedroom she looked around and got changed into her night dress, lying on the bed, her knees raised. She started to think about how much her life had changed, what she imagined for the future. She had to say she did worry for the gang, it wouldn’t be long till the Pinkertons caught up with them and who knows what the snake in Saint Denis would do. She felt her eyes slowly close as she rested on the bed, listening to the sound of laughter from the campfire when she heard the door open. Heavy footsteps walked into the room, stopping at the foot of the bed, Cathryn finally took a peak and saw Dutch staring at her. There was a strange glint in his eyes that she could only see from candlelight. His stare was unnerving, her heart beat quickening as he reached his hand out to her night dress, slowly sliding it up her right leg, then letting it pool at her waist. She was bare before him but neither said a word, neither moved, they just watched each other. 

“I’ve wanted this for a long time...”, he said as he put one knee on the bed, spreading her legs slowly apart. She didn’t feel embarrassed, didn’t care to hide, she trusted him. He looked down at her cunt. “I think you have too...”, he was whispering but in such a quiet house it sounded like he was shouting. His desire breaking the silence. She felt herself clench but it didn’t seem to help the ache within her. He grazed his fingers up and down the underside of her legs, goosebumps coming to the surface. “So responsive for me, I’m a very lucky man.” 

“Yes, you are...”, she said, finally speaking. He smirked at her cheeky comment and softly slapped her right thigh. “Ow...”, she complained, but he saw from her smile that she didn’t hate what he was doing to her. “You’re very mean to me...” 

“Mean?”, he questioned as he climbed up the bed, his arms either side of her head. “How have I been mean?”, he whispered as his lips danced across her neck. 

“Telling me what to do...”, he bit down lightly on her neck. “Teasing me yesterday night...”, he ripped open a few of the buttons at the top of her nightdress, exposing her chest to him. “Ruining my night-dress!”, she exclaimed but he just laughed. 

“I’ll buy you a new one...”, he kissed down her chest, soft kisses, leading to her rosy nipples. She moaned as he took one in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, then biting it lightly. “Besides, I much prefer you like this.”, He straightened up, looking at the woman before him, how disheveled and beautiful she was. As nature intended. The red blush on her chest, the erect nipples from the cool breeze, her eyes that looked only at him. “Do you want this?”, he asked as he stroked her cheek softly. “We can stop if you want...if it’s too much...”, she shook her head. 

“I’ve never been so sure of anything...”, he smiled. One of those rare smiles she had only seen him wear a few times, one that was pure and honest. 

“I’m glad.”, and with that he kissed her hard, her arms winding around his neck, pulling him closer. He began to take off his waist-coat. He had been so precise when taking his clothes off at the Parlour House in Rhodes, but now he didn’t care, he just threw them on the floor. Cathryn helped with his buttons, she would be nice and not ruin his shirt like he did to her. She sat up, falling into his lap as she undid the final button and helped throw his shirt on the floor, he then lifted her nightdress off so she was completely bare to him. He stopped, the sense of urgency gone as his eyes slowly drifted along her body, his fingers twisting a strand of her hair. He wanted to savour this moment. 

“Are you okay?”, she asked, gazing at his face in the moonlight. 

“You’re so beautiful...”, she smiled, her joy filling the room as he began to kiss her again. She felt his hands move to his trousers, slowly unbuttoning and pulling out his hard member. Cathryn watched, almost mesmerised by his movements. She had seen cocks before, difficult not to when you live in a camp mostly full of men, but this felt different. 

“I’ve never done this before...”, she said, suddenly feeling incredibly bashful. He watched her, his eyes reassuring. 

“That’s okay, we can go slow.”, he took her hand, kissing it gently and then lowering it down to his cock, it was the first time she had ever held one and she was surprised by how soft yet firm it was. Dutch groaned the moment she held him. “Now move your hand up and down...”, she did so, watching as his foreskin was pulled back, revealing the head, a clear liquid coating the tip. She wiped it with her thumb which caused him to moan as she pulled back up. They did this for a while, Cathryn watching his reactions, it was as if he were holding back. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as he gripped his fist tightly. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the great Dutch van der Linde like this before...”, she whispered and he opened his eyes, her comment had evoked something in him as he grabbed her waist tightly and lifted her up so she was level with him. He shifted his stance so she could feel his cock rubbing against her cunt and she whimpered. 

“What did you mean by that?”, he asked, pushing into her slightly. 

“Nothing...”, she moaned, he pulled back and thrust against her clit. 

“No, there was something.”, He threw her up slightly, catching her in one arm whilst his left hand directed his cock back to her tight hole. He kept her steady but she knew it wouldn’t be long till he was inside her. “I think...you were trying to rile me up. I think secretly, you like it when I take charge.”, He pushed into her again, the head of his cock within her. She groaned, shutting her eyes as she tried to get used to the sensation, it didn’t hurt it just felt different. He slapped her left ass cheek hard, “Am I right?”, she slid further down, moaning as it filled her. She nodded but he wasn’t satisfied, taking her chin with his left hand. “I can’t hear you darling...” 

“Yes...”, she moaned as he relaxed his hold, she was fully seated on his cock. He said nothing for a moment, allowing her to rest and bring herself together. She breathed hard against his chest as his hands wrapped around her waist. She felt so hot, so full, it was addictive. He thrusted up slightly, surprising Cathryn as she yelped, no longer caring if anyone heard her. He buried his face in her neck as he slowly lifted her then pushed her back down again, slowly maneuvering her to ensure she wasn’t in pain. 

“You like that little one?”, he whispered as he began to pick up the pace. She nodded, unable to conjure the words but when he slapped her ass again, she began to babble. She had no idea what she was saying but she was obviously agreeing with him and pleasing him as he went even faster. He grabbed her right breast and brought it into his mouth sucking lightly, the stimulation sending waves of heat into her core, stretched around him in such a way that made her sensitive to ever touch. 

“Dutch please...”, he pushed them both down so she was on her back and he began thrusting into her fast, balancing on his left arm whilst his right-hand travelled down to her clit. He brushed it a few times, having memorized from before exactly how to get her off, and within minutes she was screaming as her orgasm came over her in waves. He kept thrusting, helping her ride through the pleasure and held her tight as she began to wriggle from the overstimulation. He was also getting louder, grunting and groaning until suddenly he thrust as far as he could go, cumming hard inside of her. They stayed like that for a while, catching their breath and clearing their minds, waiting until Dutch slowly removed himself from her. He rolled onto his back, pulling her so that she laid across his chest, shivering as she felt his seed leaking out of her. He kissed the top of her head. 

“Thank you my dear...”, he was still breathy heavy. 

“I love you Dutch...”, Cathryn mumbled as she slowly fell asleep, completely exhausted. 

“I love you too.” 

*** 

Cathryn woke up to kisses all across her body and opened her eyes to see Dutch was fully dressed. She giggled and threw his pillow at him which he caught. 

“Good morning my love.”, He said, walking over to the side of the bed, kissing her softly. “I didn’t want to wake you but you looked so beautiful...”, she kissed him again. 

“Where are you off to?”, she asked, slowly sitting up, she winced as she felt how tender her body was after last night. 

“Learning some more information on Mr Bronte and Saint Denis in general. I want us to be prepared.”, he said, stroking her head. “Don’t worry about me though, rest as much as you like, I think you deserve it.”, he kissed her cheek and stood up, making his way towards the door. 

“I love you.”, he said before he left, leaving Cathryn staring at the door. 

“I love you too.”, but he was no longer there. 

*** 

After she finally convinced herself to get up and dressed, Cathryn slowly made her way down the stairs, taking care not to jolt her body too much. She was also increasingly aware of how loud they probably were last night and was worried that everyone would be staring at her but if they knew they didn’t make it obvious. 

“Good morning Cathryn!”, said Abigail as she walked by with Jack, a smirk on her face, okay maybe they did know. Cathryn just waved sheepishly and decided to walk to the waterside. As she was close to the bank she suddenly heard some hushed voices, she was about to leave when she heard her name and decided to listen closer. Cathryn was never one for listening in on conversations but it didn’t sound too friendly. 

“I heard her last night...everyone did...the fucking whore!”, Cathryn recognised the drunken ramblings of Molly O’Shea. “What does he see in her?” 

“I have no idea, I prefer a fiery woman myself...”, It was Micah, Cathryn glanced at the two from the tree she was hiding behind. He was getting close to her, trying to seduce her but she wasn’t interested in the slightest. 

“What are you doing Micah?”, Molly asked, as he tried to put his hands on her. 

“Come on now, I know you must be lonely, must miss being filled with Dutch’s cock. Let’s see how I compare?”, Molly tried to push him away but it was clear he wasn’t going to leave without persuasion. 

“Let her go Micah.”, Cathryn said, emerging from her hiding spot, walking towards the pair. 

“Oh, look who it is Molly!”, Micah said, gesturing towards Cathryn. 

“She’s not interested Micah, I don’t think Dutch would be too happy to find you pushing your luck.”, Molly looked between the two, torn between thanking Cathryn for intervening and screaming at her. She decided it would be best to just walk away, leaving Cathryn and Micah staring at each other. 

“That’s the game you want to play?”, Micah asked, a smile on his face. 

“I don’t want to play any games with you Micah.”, Micah laughed in her face and began to circle around her. 

“How about this then...you tell Dutch that I was harmlessly flirting with Molly and I tell Dutch that you and Arthur have been sneaking off without him knowing.”, Cathryn’s heart stopped, that was a while ago and when she was angry, it didn’t mean anything. “I’m not blind...and neither is Dutch...”, he walked closer to her, only inches away. “and we both know how he would react to that news given your history.” 

“Dutch isn’t a monster.”, Micah laughed again, spinning around. 

“You have no idea, do you? You’ve seen glimpses but every time it gets too much you just close your eyes. Dutch is a stone-cold killer, just like me. No amount of fucking or declarations of love will change that. What do you expect will happen when you break his heart?” 

“I wouldn’t...”, Cathryn protested but Micah just smiled at her knowingly. 

“Oh, but you will, just wait and see...”, and with that threat he walked away, leaving Cathryn terrified by the river bank.


	32. Evil men

Cathryn was fully seated on Dutch’s lap in the dining room as he was reading, though it didn’t seem to stop his fingers rubbing against her throbbing core. They were positioned in a way that most people walking in wouldn’t see what was happening underneath her skirts, for that she was thankful. Since her and Dutch became more intimate with each other he kept finding ways to push the boundaries. Most of the time though he seemed to be focused more on her pleasure, she was confused at first but she began to understand why. He enjoyed the power, enjoyed knowing he could undo her completely, right now he enjoyed knowing he could do it publicly. 

“You close sweetheart?”, he asked, his thumb continuing its slow and torturous demonstrations. She was so wet by this point, she could almost hear what he was doing to her. She nodded but he just furrowed his brows. 

“I’m so close...”, she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. He nodded, that was what he wanted, always her verbal affirmation. She heard footsteps behind her and felt Dutch perk up slightly. 

“Ah Arthur, come here a moment will you.”, Dutch said, Cathryn freezing on top of him. She tried to wriggle away from his grasp but Dutch placed his right hand on the small of her back, firm, to stop her struggling. If Arthur found out what they were doing she would be so embarrassed, maybe this was just another way for Dutch to assert his dominance. 

“Dutch no...”, Cathryn begged before Arthur came over but Dutch just glanced at her, his fingers began focusing solely on her clit, it was almost excruciating. 

“What’s up Dutch?”, Arthur said. “Cathryn...”, he acknowledged but she tucked her face in Dutch’s neck. “Are you alright?” 

“She’s just feeling a bit out of sorts today.”, Dutch said as if everything were normal. “Wanted to just stay with me.”, there was silence for a moment, it was deafening. 

“Alright then...hope you feel better soon Cathy.”, Cathryn mumbled a thank you, not wanting to draw attention to her bright red face. 

“Arthur could you go grab me my map from the other room?”, Arthur nodded and walked away, Dutch whispered in Cathryn’s ear, “We’ll keep going like this until you’re cumming on my fingers, I want Arthur to be here when you do, so please darling, don’t drag this out. For your sake, I’m happy to do this all day...”, he bit her lobe slightly and pulled back into his seat. Cathryn let out a large breath she had been holding in. She was angry at Dutch but he wasn’t bluffing, he would keep Arthur here as long as he wanted until she came. She tried to relax, coaxing herself to cum quickly. Arthur came back into the room, handing the map to Dutch. “Thank you Arthur.”, Dutch leant forward, looking at the map, gaining more access to her dripping hot cunt. 

“What do you need?” 

“Saint Denis has a lot to offer for this group. Money and opportunity.”, Cathryn bit down on her bottom lip as she slowly felt herself building up and up, with a clear head she now confessed how she was aroused by this situation. “Herr Strauss has some more money laundering opportunities; I suggest you start with him. Javier has some leads on stage-coaches too. I want every man on board, lying low but taking as much as we can in our position. This is a city! Crime is abundant.”, Cathryn clenched his fists in Dutch’s waist-coast. God, she was so close. 

“Yeah that’s fine. What about this Bronte character?”, Dutch could feel her ready to explode and kissed the top of her head. 

“We should be careful, try not to get in his way for now, he seems to run things around here...”, and with that she built up and up until it all came crashing down, she bit onto Dutch’s shoulder, terrified she was going to scream, especially since he continued to rub on her clit, coaxing the rest of the orgasm out of her but it was too much overstimulation. She felt tears build up in her eyes and couldn’t even make out the rest of the conversation they were having. “Say goodbye to Arthur, Cathy...”, Dutch whispered in her ear after she managed to calm down. 

“Goodbye Arthur...”, she said softly, still refusing to look at him. There was more silence until she finally heard his footsteps as he walked away. 

“Such a good girl...”, Dutch said, as he finally removed his fingers from under her skirts. He looked at them, how they glistened from her juices and licked one of them clean. Cathryn watched under heavy eyes; she was seeing more sides to Dutch as their relationship continued. “You taste exquisite my dear. Want a taste?”, Cathryn shied away from the question, burying her head in the crook of his neck but he took his other hand, wrapping her hair in his fist and pulling her up so she was facing him. She knew what he wanted so opened her mouth, he placed his index finger in there and waited for her to start sucking off her slick. He moaned in satisfaction as he watched her do so, his eyes were heavy with lust. “That’s my girl.”, he then kissed her passionately, his hands holding her steady, she was still weak from the orgasm. 

*** 

After Dutch had finally let Cathryn go she decided to go for a walk for some fresh air, she was still nervous in case she saw Micah but she knew he wouldn’t do anything in public so stayed within the business of the camp. Suddenly she saw Ms. Grimshaw run up to her. 

“Cathryn, we have a problem. It’s Tilly.”, Cathryn looked towards her, she had never seen Ms. Grimshaw look so stressed. “She’s been taken by the Foreman brothers she used to run with.”, Ms. Grimshaw walked over to the wagon and took out a pistol and a shotgun. “I don’t know what they’re doing here but I can’t tell you what they’re going to be doing here! Dying!”, she gestured for Cathryn to join her on her wagon so Cathryn grabbed her rifle and pistol and loaded up, sitting next to Ms. Grimshaw. 

“Shouldn’t we bring some other folks?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Nope.”, Ms. Grimshaw said. “We can do this on our own.”, Cathryn nodded and braced herself as Ms. Grimshaw began to drive. “She’s in a place called Radley’s house, just west of Rhodes.” 

“How do you know?” 

“When we first got here she told me that she was worried that our camp was near a safe-house that gang she ran with used from time to time.” 

“Didn’t you tell Dutch?”, Cathryn asked but Ms. Grimshaw grunted in response. 

“No, she told me in confidence.”, Cathryn nodded, not wanting to get into it any further. She knew how Ms. Grimshaw felt about her and Dutch. 

“What happened with them then?”, Cathryn asked. 

“She killed one of them, for good reason, but clearly they don’t see it that way.”, Cathryn nodded, she could bet what that reason was. She remembered how that store clerk was in Valentine. She remembered what Ms. Grimshaw always said. 

_“Now listen to me Cathryn. Us women, we don’t just gotta worry about dying, we gotta worry about a whole lot of other things. Now I hope that you never have to experience this but we need to have a chat about if a man tries to rape you.”_

_“No, she doesn’t have to hear about that.”, Dutch said, getting angry. “That won’t happen to her.”_

_“You don’t know that Dutch, you won’t always be around to protect her!”, Ms. Grimshaw said._

_“It’s true Dutch.”, Hosea said sadly, Bessie frowned as she wrapped her arms around his chest. Dutch sighed and nodded his head, he still wasn’t happy but he knew deep down she had to know._

_“What’s rape?”, Cathryn asked, which caused even further discomfort for the team, it was no question a young girl should have to ask._

_“You know we spoke about what happens between a man and a woman who are in love?”, Cathryn nodded. “Well rape is what happens when a man decides to do that to a woman who doesn’t want to. Maybe she doesn’t love him, maybe she doesn’t know him, maybe she just doesn’t want to. It’s a horrible experience, no woman should ever have to deal with it, but there are evil men in this world.”, Cathryn nodded, it was difficult to digest but she knew that this lesson was very important. “Now, if there ever comes a time when this happens to you, no matter who it is, you do everything you can to stop them. Kill them if you can.”, Cathryn flinched in fear, she had only just managed to hunt a rabbit the other day, how could she kill a grown man?_

_“Find something to use as a weapon, some broken glass can work, or better yet get your hands on a gun or knife.”, Hosea said._

_“Then aim it for something that will cause serious pain.”, Ms. Grimshaw said as she gestured to the areas. “The best places are the eye, neck, or genital areas. Slicing along the leg can also work as it will slow them down.”, Cathryn nodded. “If you have no weapons then try and fight as much as you can, they will expect you to submit, to stop fighting, if you give them a struggle it’s extra work for them and they may just give up.”, Ms. Grimshaw said, Dutch was pacing around and finally walked up to her, kneeling down and looking in her eyes._

_“I’m not going to let that happen, understand me?” Cathryn nodded. “and if anyone tries to touch you then you tell me straight away. I don’t care who it is, I will kill them. Promise that you will tell me?”, Cathryn nodded._

_“I promise.”, Dutch nodded, trying to process this conversation and pulled her into his arms in an embrace. The group watched in silence, pitying any poor soul who dare evoke Dutch’s wrath._

“Tilly isn’t as sweet and innocent as you may believe...”, Ms. Grimshaw said as they rode through the fields. “But she was defending herself, then she fled and fell in with us right after that. I just hope we get to her in time...” 

“We will.”, Cathryn promised, looking at the worry on Ms. Grimshaw’s face. 

“If they touch a single hair on that girls head, I will eviscerate those sons of bitches.”, Ms. Grimshaw swore, it reminded Cathryn of when Dutch promised he would never let another man touch her. She daren’t tell him of the Store Clerk in Valentine. “There...”, she pointed. “It’s just up ahead.”, they pulled up to a small house in a clearing. There was a guard up front. “Don’t worry, I’ll deal with him.”, they came off the wagon and walked towards the man at the front of the house. “Kind sir, we’re lost and in need of some help.” 

“No, get out of here...”, Ms. Grimshaw walked closer to the man. 

“I’m sure I could persuade you.”, she then quickly plunged the knife into his neck, watching him choke in his own blood. Cathryn ran into the house, barged past the door and quickly shot a man who was standing up from his seat. He fell on the floor and Cathryn went exploring each room, finding Tilly bound on the floor with a man sat on the bed. Cathryn shot the man in the face, Tilly shrieking as he collapsed on the bed, blood running down the mattress. 

“It’s alright Tilly...”, Cathryn said as she undid the ropes, she was bruised and dirty but didn’t seem in too bad of a shape. Cathryn gave her a hug. “It’s gonna be okay, we’re here now. Me and Ms. Grimshaw.”, Tilly nodded silently and made her way over to the front door. 

“What happened?”, Ms. Grimshaw asked. 

“It was Anthony Foreman. He thinks he owns me. He went out hunting or something.”, she said pointing to the door. 

“I’ll get him, don’t worry.” Cathryn said as she walked out the back door and saw three horses with men on them riding away. 

“There they go!”, Ms. Grimshaw cried. “If anyone approaches, shoot them!”, she said, tossing a gun to Tilly. Cathryn ran and jumped onto the horse that had been left behind, luckily it was a rather short horse. She raced after them, taking out her gun, ready to aim. She saw one break through the trees and shot him three times in quick succession, watching them drop to the floor. She hadn’t used her gun in a while but was loving how it felt again. She rode through the trees, down the hill and to the water when she saw another one of them. When she got down to the water bank she shot another one in the head, he tumbled straight into the lake. The last one must be Anthony Foreman, she knew how much Ms. Grimshaw would want to see him so decided to keep him alive. Cathryn took out her lasso, remembering how John used to teach her and swirled it around until she was close enough to get it around his torso, pulling him off his horse. He groaned as he hit the floor and Cathryn quickly jumped off, running over to hog tie him. 

“You bitch!”, he shouted as Cathryn tied him up tight, thankfully he was so disorientated from the fall that he didn’t manage to get away. She turned around and saw Ms. Grimshaw ride after them. 

“You got him. Good. I’ll help you get him up on the horse.”, the two of them then grabbed either side of him and hauled him onto the back of the horse. He was wriggling around like a mad man, shouting all the way. As they rode back to the house, Tilly waved, happy to see them. They stopped at the front of the house. Cathryn and Ms. Grimshaw then helped throw Anthony Foreman to the ground, Tilly walking up to them with the shotgun in her hand. “You see this girl?”, Ms. Grimshaw said, grabbing him by his hair so he faced Tilly. “You leave her alone.” 

“She killed my cousin!”, he spat. 

“Your goddamn cousin had it coming Anthony Foreman!”, Tilly shouted, Cathryn had never seen her so angry, though in all fairness he did deserve it. 

“I don’t care if she shot your daddy and cooked your momma for breakfast. She’s mine, she ain’t yours!”, Ms. Grimshaw said, slapping him in the face. 

“We were family Tilly...”, he said, now fearful of the fate which could befall him. 

“You Foreman boys ain’t no kind of family I want! I want you to go away and tell all the remaining of your cousins and the clowns they ride with to leave me alone!”, Tilly said, her voice becoming hoarse. 

“Can you do that Anthony?”, Cathryn said, raising her pistol to his head. “Or should I save us all the bother?” 

“I’ll leave you alone...”, he said, his voice cracking. “History is done...”, Tilly stared at him for a while and then walked away. 

“History is never done...”, Ms. Grimshaw said. “It’s your call Cathryn, but I’d still shoot him dead.”, Cathryn watched the man. If Tilly wanted him dead she would have asked for it, but she had left it to her. Cathryn had nothing against this man other than his conflict with Tilly, She would spare him for now. She angled her gun up to the air, unknowing to him and shot. He screamed and began to cry, Cathryn walking over to the wagon. She would leave him to get himself out that rope. Ms. Grimshaw followed and took the reins as the three girls rode back to camp. 

“Thank you Cathryn, Thank you Ms. Grimshaw.”, Tilly said. 

“He messed with the wrong girls.”, Ms. Grimshaw said, smirking towards the horizon. 

“Yes, yes he did.”, Cathryn said, looking back at the wretched mass.


	33. Fairytale

“Cathy, come over here!”, Cathryn heard Dutch yell from the other side of camp. She had just been out to do some hunting, trying to get the lay of the land. Everyone appreciated the fresh cuts of meat at dinner time and Dutch was happy for her to go off knowing she was smart enough to not get herself killed. Today she had bagged some wild turkeys and large rabbits. She had seen a few deer’s pass by but they didn’t look too healthy, Cathryn always tried to go for the deer that were a bit more of a challenge. She walked over to the men, dropping her prizes to Mr. Pearson who took them gladly, and allowed Dutch to wrap his arm around her shoulders. Hosea and Arthur were also there, they seemed to all be in a good mood. 

“How’s everything?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Bronte’s garden party is tonight, so we need to clean up nice for it. I was going to head into Saint Denis for a bath and a trim, if you care to join me?”, Dutch asked. 

“Yeah that would be nice.”, Cathryn replied, looking at the ends of her hair which were almost unmanageable at this length. 

“Our old friend Dutch van der Linde has finally shown his true colours.”, Hosea said with a smirk on his face. “Social climbing.”, Arthur chuckled. 

“That horrendous snake, Signor Bronte, will be expecting us to look our very best. So, I suggest Cinderella...”, he said, finally facing Cathryn. “We go get you a gown!”, he then picked her up, spinning her around on the spot, sending her into a frenzy of laughter. 

*** 

“This looks like a nice place.”, Dutch said as he helped Cathryn get off The Count. They had stopped off by a bath-house in the middle of Saint Denis, it also had a barbers and hairdressers in there. 

“Yeah, looks good. You coming to join me?”, she said, winking cheekily at Dutch. 

“No, I have some errands to take care of. As much as I would love to stay...”, he moaned, slinking over and wrapping his hands around her waist. She slapped the hands at her waist. 

“You’ve gotta behave yourself Mr. van der Linde. We’re in public...”, he smirked and put his hands up in surrender. 

“Maybe later then.”, he promised and then looked around. “I’ll come pick you up in an hour, should give you enough time.”, he then reached into his pocket and brought out some dollar bills. “Should cover it.” 

“Dutch, I have my own money.”, Cathryn said, looking at his hand. 

“I insist.”, he said, giving her a stare that refused any other arguments. She sighed and took the money from him, kissing him on the cheek in thanks. “See you soon my love.”, and with that he began to walk off, leaving Cathryn alone outside of the bath-house. She went in and was greeted by a fine gentleman who went through with her the various packages they offer. Cathryn decided to go for the luxury bath experience which included a hair cutting and styling. 

She was taken into the main bath-house, in which stood a giant bath-tub that was filled with luxurious smelling oils. The room was illuminated with candles and there were various lotions available for her to use. This was ten times nicer than the bath available in Rhodes and as Cathryn stripped from her clothes and stepped into the water she moaned in pleasure. She needed to do this more often. She began to scrub herself clean, even allowing a maid in to help with her hair, she wanted everything to be thorough. She even allowed herself to drift off slightly while the maid massaged the sweet-smelling concoction in her hair, undoing all of her knots. 

“Did you want me to wash your back for you Miss?”, the woman asked, Cathryn nodded, and couldn’t help but shiver as she felt the sponge run up and down her back. Now she knew why men came here, even if it wasn’t for the girls. When she had finished, the maid walked out, leaving Cathryn to her thoughts. It took her whole willpower to not fall asleep in the calming tub but when she felt the water get slightly cooler, she decided to get out, changing back into her clothes. It felt wrong throwing her old smelling clothes onto her clean skin but she had no other option, it was a nice experience while it lasted. She then walked over to the women’s salon and was greeted by a softly spoken gentleman who offered her a seat. 

“Your hair! It’s beautiful! The colour, the curls, it’s marvelous!”, he praised as he began to brush through her wet hair. 

“Thank you, it’s a pain to manage though.”, the man nodded in understanding. 

“I should be able to help. I can cut out some of the thicker sections to help it feel lighter and less heavy. Just tidy it up to get rid of the knots. Did you want it any shorter?”, Cathryn thought for a moment, right now her wet hair reached her waist, it would get a bit shorter when it dried but not too much. 

“Yeah, maybe to the middle of my back?”, the man nodded, refusing to stay another word and began his work. He applied several lotions to her hair, running his fingers through her curls. When he was done, he grabbed his scissors and made work on her hair, cutting out certain sections and ensuring that it would be more manageable. When he was done he stepped back and took a look at her. 

“Perfect! The hair should dry soon in this heat, if you have any other problems then just come and see me again!”, Cathryn stood up and ran her fingers through her new hair. It was a lot lighter and already looking much more presentable. “I would also recommend tying it up in a plait when you can, will stop it tangling as much.”, Cathryn thanked him and gave him a tip for his work. She came out of the bath-house to see Dutch leaning against a post by his horse. He was holding a big box in his hand. He looked up at her and smiled. 

“You look beautiful.”, he said, ushering her over to his horse. She saw that he also had a quick trim, his moustache more pronounced, his hair slightly shorter. 

“Why thank you, so do you.”, she said winking. “What’s in the box?” 

“Your dress.”, he said, “and my suit...”, he helped lift her onto The Count, passing her the packages. 

“My dress? Can I see?”, he jumped onto his horse and began to ride off back to camp. 

“No, it’s gonna be a surprise.” 

*** 

“It looks gorgeous!”, Tilly said as she stared at the dress in awe, they had all congregated in Dutch’s room as Cathryn got ready for the party. Ms. Grimshaw was helping with the corset on the dress. The dress was a deep royal blue, exposing some of her shoulder but then finishing with puffed sleeves. The neckline dipped low, showing the top of her cleavage but it was still modest. The skirt fell down to the floor and the corset helped to synch the waist in as much as possible. 

“Like a princess from a fairytale.”, Mary-Beth sighed. When Ms. Grimshaw was done, Mary-Beth helped style her hair so it was in a half up, half down style, the curls giving her extra volume. Karen was helping apply some makeup. 

“Not too much Karen.”, Ms. Grimshaw snapped as Karen reached for the red lipstick. Karen sighed. 

“Fine then, we’ll do lighter.”, Cathryn laughed. It was sweet that all the girls were here, even Sadie who wasn’t joining in, but was content to watch the bonding. Molly was no-where to be seen but Cathryn understood. “There all done!”, Cathryn looked in the mirror and smiled, the girls had made her look beautiful. 

“Thank you everyone.”, she said, smiling. 

“I wish I could go to the ball...”, Mary-Beth said. Cathryn laughed. 

“It’s not a ball, just a garden party but we have to look the part!”, Cathryn said when they heard a knock at the door. “Come in.”, The door opened and Dutch came in, speechless when he saw what Cathryn looked like. 

“Wow, Dutch speechless? Never thought I’d see the day...”, Karen smirked, the girls giggling behind her. Dutch shook his head and smiled. 

“You look magnificent.”, he said to Cathryn, kissing the top of her hand. 

“Not so bad yourself Dutch.”, Karen jumped in, taking in his new suit and top-hat. Cathryn had to admit, he did scrub up well. He chuckled and continued to stare at Cathryn swirling his index finger so that she would turn around. She did so and heard the gasp from the girls around her before she felt the necklace drop onto her neck, Dutch clasping it at the back and pulling her hair out from under it. It was a silver necklace with a floral design, Cathryn had never owned jewelry before. 

“It’s beautiful.”, she said, her fingers touching it gently. 

“The finishing touches. Are you ready my dear?”, he asked, offering his arm. She took it quickly and waved to the girls, hearing their squeals as she left the room. 

*** 

Everyone was laughing in the carriage at another one of Dutch’s famous stories, drunk on champagne and ready for a good night. Cathryn was sat in between Dutch and Arthur with Hosea and Bill opposite them. They all looked so different, it was crazy what a new set of clothes could do to people. 

“You know, I’ve never been to a ball in my life!”, Arthur said, taking another drink. 

“Neither have I to be honest...”, Dutch confessed, kissing Cathryn on the cheek. 

“I used to quite often...”, Hosea said contemplatively. “There could be fine pickings!” 

“No no no no!”, Dutch said, trying to stop laughing. “No pickpocketing. We’re here to make real contacts.” 

“What kind of contacts?”, Arthur asked. 

“I don’t know, we’ll find what we can. All I know for sure is we are going to a party at the Mayors house and the guest of honour is the worst crook in town!”, everyone laughed again. “I’m sure we will find something!”, everyone raised their glasses to toast. They pulled up then to the Mayors house, Dutch getting out first and helping Cathryn out with his hand. She took it and stepped outside, it was a beautiful house, decorated with hundreds of lights. Dutch handed the men outside their invitation and upon being asked to leave their weapons at the gate, everyone began to unload. They then followed a man named Luca who began to take them to Mr Bronte, Dutch’s hand on the small of Cathryn’s back. “You gonna be okay?”, Dutch asked, Cathryn nodded. 

“I’ll be fine.”, she said smiling at him. Dutch then looked back at his men. 

“Hosea, Bill, you go enjoy the party. Us three will pay our respects to Signor Bronte.”, Hosea and Bill nodded, making their separate way outside. While the other three made their way up the stairs and towards the balcony where Mr Bronte was sat with his other guests. 

“Ahhh the angry cowboys have arrived! And they’ve washed!”, Mr Bronte said as they walked towards him. He looked to Cathryn. “And Miss Blanchard looks even more beautiful.”, he reached for her hand and kissed the top of it, Cathryn was grateful the glove she wore stopped him from touching her skin. Dutch then moved in to shake his hand. 

“Quite a party you’ve invited us to.”, Dutch said, moving Cathryn out of the way so Arthur could also shake his hand. Cathryn looked onto the scene below her. So many people, and the music was incredible. “So, this is Saint Denis high society?”, Dutch asked as he looked down on the crowd. Taking a cigar that was offered to him. 

“Yes, I assume so.”, Mr Bronte said, trying to get a glimpse of Cathryn though Dutch kept her well tucked into his left side, away from Bronte, next to Arthur. 

“These friends of yours Senior Bronte?”, Dutch asked as he took a puff of his cigar. 

“Not quite, but they are certainly afraid of me...”, Cathryn watched as Arthur bit off the end of his cigar and dragged a man over to light it himself. Cathryn laughed under her breath and Arthur raised his eyebrows in amusement. She let Dutch and Bronte talk over politics and the different guests here as she whispered to Arthur. 

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you so dressed up Arthur.”, he smiled and blew out some smoke. 

“Don’t get used to it.”, he chuckled. “You look beautiful by the way.”, Cathryn blushed and looked back at the crowd, she was afraid Dutch would hear but he was too preoccupied with buttering up Bronte. 

“Thank you.”, she said softly. 

“Oh look, the red skins!”, she heard Bronte laugh, pointing over to a group of men at the party. “Whoever is stupid enough to be tricked by the Americans, well they get what they deserve.”, Cathryn watched as Dutch’s face fell into a frown, she squeezed his arm in support and he smiled at her, kissing her on the head. “And that is Hector Fellows, the self-righteous newspaper man. Maybe you’ll kill him for me one day...”, he said casually, the three of their faces turning to face Bronte. 

“We’re not paid killers as such, not in cold blood anyway.”, Dutch said. 

“I didn’t know you were so particular when helping a friend.”, Cathryn’s blood went cold. That was why he wanted them around, to do his dirty work. This was a bad idea, getting involved with Bronte, Arthur seemed to share her concern but Dutch still had faith he could move things in another direction. 

“Oh, I’m willing to help in any way that I can, within reason.”, Dutch said, more firm. 

“I’m going to pretend I understand what that means.”, Mr. Bronte said, his voice threatening 

“I mean no offence sir...”, Dutch said and immediately Bronte changed his tune. 

“None taken! None taken!”, he said smiling. “No, I’m glad you are in Saint Denis my friend!”, he said, patting Dutch on the back. “You and especially Miss Blanchard. I hope to see more of you soon!”, he said leering at Cathryn. “But for now, go and enjoy the party, mingle with these vulgar scum! It’ll make you wish for the days when you could shoot at each other and screw cows on the open ranch.”, he laughed with his friends, Cathryn feeling Dutch’s hold grow tight. Bronte was playing a dangerous game trying to antagonise Dutch. “What are your plans here sir?” 

“We have no plans, I mean we do need money...”, Dutch said. 

“Ah, money, money, money...”, Bronte said thinking for a moment. “They keep a lot of cash at the trolley station. I wouldn’t involve myself but as my guests, go do it!”, he said raising his arms in celebration. “Good day Gentlemen!”, he said toasting to them before allowing them to leave. Cathryn let out a huge sigh as she exited the balcony. They walked down the stairs in silence, not wanting to say a word until they were alone outside where they finally joined back with Hosea and Bill. 

“Let’s go integrate ourselves Gentlemen...”, Dutch said. “Arthur, you go talk to the mayor. Hosea, find us some place to rob and Bill, make us some new friends.”, they all nodded and went their separate ways. 

“What about us?”, Cathryn asked. 

“I have a special plan for us.”, he said, smiling and kissing her cheek. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, he’s just...”, she couldn’t find the words but Dutch understood. He held her close. 

“I promise, you won’t see him again unless absolutely necessary.”, Cathryn smiled and held Dutch for a while. “Now, come on, let’s explore.”, they walked around the party for a moment, a drink always in their hand as Dutch managed to smoothly introduce himself to everyone around him. Cathryn could tell he was loving every moment of this and played along as his wealthy companion. When she heard the name, Cornwall, turn up she whispered to Dutch and they immediately went over to Arthur who was nearby. “He said something about Cornwall, find out what.”, Dutch ordered and Arthur followed the man who had been speaking so loudly. Cathryn looked up to the sky to see some red fireworks bursting in the sky. 

“Wow, they’re amazing.”, she said, gazing into the night sky. 

“That they are.”, Dutch said, offering his hand to Cathryn. Everyone was now watching the fireworks in awe, even the musicians had stopped playing. She could feel Dutch staring at her and so looked to him. 

“What is it?”, Dutch looked around and upon seeing a gazebo at the back of the garden he walked them over to it. It was quieter over by the gazebo, less people around, but they could still see the fireworks dancing above them. 

“You look beautiful tonight Cathryn, I mean you always do to me, but tonight is something else.”, Cathryn laughed lightly, trying to hide the blush on her face. “I don’t know what’s come over me to be honest since you came back into our lives. Everyone knows I’ve changed, there’s now something more important than survival, than the camp. Or maybe I should say someone...”, Cathryn watched him, she had never seen him so raw, so vulnerable. “I would do anything to make you happy my love. Say the word and I’ll walk to the edge of the world, I will kill kings, I will bring you back a fallen star.”, Cathryn smiled, stroking his cheek softly. “I would do all of that, because I love you. More than I’ve loved anyone, and I’m not usually one to believe in big gestures or religion or anything like that but I’ve never felt as sure as I do in this moment.”, he reached into his pocket and brought out a ring, Cathryn gasped, putting her hand over her mouth. Knowing what he was about to do. 

“Dutch...”, she said, completely speechless. It was a golden ring with a sapphire stone in the middle, small diamonds around the outside. It either must have cost a fortune or he had stolen it from a very wealthy woman. 

“Will you marry me Cathryn?”, he asked, holding the ring close to her face, they were mere centimeters apart. “Will you make me the happiest man in the world? I promise I will do everything in my power to make you happy.”, Cathryn stared at the ring, and then at Dutch, time had almost gone still, yet her heart was racing miles an hour. She nodded slowly, then picked up the pace. 

“Yes, I will. I will Dutch.”, she watched his smile grow as he kissed her passionately, letting go to watch himself put the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly. She smiled and threw her arms around his neck, he picked her up and flung her around the gazebo. 

“We’ll tell everyone tomorrow night, have a huge celebration.”, Dutch said, kissing the ring on her finger. “My love, my soon to be wife.” 

“I have a name to live up to...”, she said smiling. 

“Cathryn van der Linde. I like the sound of it already.”, he kissed her again. “Come, I say we have one more drink and then we head back?”, Cathryn nodded enthusiastically and they strolled together in the moonlight, unable to stop staring at the ring on her finger. 

*** 

They waited on the deck for Arthur, Hosea and Bill to turn up, feeling like a pair of lovestruck teenagers. Whispering and sharing soft kissed in the moonlight, when they finally heard Arthur come up to them they stopped. Cathryn wasn’t going to hide the ring, but the plan was not to tell anyone until tomorrow evening. 

“I got it.”, Arthur said, patting the left side of his jacket. Dutch nodded, nothing else needed to be said. Bill and Hosea finally joined them, though Bill looked like he wasn’t having the best time. 

“This town is a waste of time.”, Bill said, Hosea shrugged. 

“Maybe not...”, he must have had a lead then. 

“I think we’re done here then.”, Dutch said, taking Cathryn by the arm. “What did you find?” 

“Money moves through Saint Denis quite a lot, I think I found out how we could grab some of it. There’s a big bank, a real one I mean, but not yet.” 

“A city bank?”, Dutch asked with interest. 

“Maybe...and a stuffed one.” 

“If we’re gonna leave, that may be the one thing we need.”, Dutch said, glancing at Cathryn, seeing his future. “There’s also a trolley car that Signor Bronte told us about.” 

“I also heard about a high stakes poker game.”, Arthur said, Dutch nodded as he heard this information. They reached the gate of the manor and grabbed their weapons as their coach pulled up along the road. 

“Let’s go home.”, Dutch said, kissing Cathryn’s hand again and helping her into the stage coach. As they rode off, Cathryn listened to Bills continuous moaning. 

“I ain’t ever felt so awkward in my life.”, Bill said, Cathryn smirking at him. She caught Arthur out of the corner of her eye look down on her hand, on the ring Dutch had given her. She saw him go stiff and she immediately used her other hand to cover it, she tried to keep looking at Dutch. It still felt too awkward with Arthur. “all those folks, so pleased with themselves...high society pigeon shit! If you ask me, it’s more like torture.” 

“Here are the papers I took.”, Arthur said, giving them to Dutch, he tried to glance at Cathryn but she kept her eyes down. 

“Anyone see you take these?”, Arthur shook his head. “Hm, I may have an idea. Let me think on it.”, he folded the paper back into his jacket and leant back, pulling Cathryn into his chest. 

“I’ve never seen fireworks before...”, she said, to no one in particular. 

“They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”, Hosea replied, smiling at Cathryn. 

“The most.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW THAT's HOW YOU DO A PROPOSAL!


	34. Taming

The night had been wonderful but incredibly exhausting and so when Dutch and Cathryn finally made it to their rooms all they wanted to do was fall asleep in each other's arms, Cathryn couldn’t stop looking at the ring however. 

“You like it?”, Dutch asked, watching Cathryn intensely. 

“It’s so beautiful.”, she said turning around and kissing him softly. “Never saw you as the marrying type though.”, Dutch nodded, thinking for a moment. 

“People change, I believe in freedom in all things, but I can’t imagine a life without you in it. It’s a vow to us, rather than anything else.”, Cathryn smiled and wrapped her arms around his chest. “You’ve done it my dear...you’ve tamed me...”, he mumbled, slowly drifting off to sleep, stroking her back softly. 

“I don’t think you could ever be tamed.”, she whispered, running her thumb across his chest. 

*** 

For the first time in a while Cathryn woke up before Dutch, the sun was shining through the bedroom and as she stretched, she glimpsed the ring once again, dazzling in the sunlight. It was so strange how far they had come, to some it may seem they had moved too quickly but nothing would deter Dutch. She got changed and kissed him on the forehead, feeling him stir. 

“I’m going out Dutch. See you later?”, he groaned in agreement, turning over to catch more sleep. Cathryn tried to hold on to her laughter, never seeing Dutch so relaxed before and left their bedroom. As she walked out the front door she bumped into Hosea. 

“Ah Cathy!”, he said as he came to greet her. “How d’ya feel about a spot of fishing?” 

“That sounds like fun.”, Cathryn said as she followed Hosea to the horses. 

“Dutch still asleep?”, he asked casually, she nodded with a smile on her face. He laughed to himself, “Half the time he can never seem to sleep and then the rest of the time he’s impossible to get up!”, they mounted on the horses. “Follow me, I know a small lake we can fish on.”, they rode mostly in silence though Hosea would sometimes point out a specific bird or animal they would pass, telling Cathryn if he had ever caught one, what you could use the furs for and where you could get the best price for it. When they finally made it to the lake, Hosea jumped off his horse and went over to a small boat. “Hop in!”, he said and once Cathryn was fully seated in the boat did Hosea push it off into the water and get in himself. 

“Beautiful morning...”, Cathryn said as she looked around her. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the only noise to be heard was the water beneath them and the wind through the trees. Hosea nodded as he got together his fishing gear. “I have to warn you Hosea, I’m still no expert fisherman...”, Cathryn laughed, getting her rod ready. Once they were in the middle of the lake, they both cast their lines into the water. 

“That’s okay, your hunting makes up for it.”, he said, a smirk on his face, knowing that he was the one who taught her. “So...how long did you think you could hide that ring?”, he said, glancing down at it. Cathryn blushed, curling her fingers. 

“I’m not trying to hide it, Dutch wanted to announce it tonight...” 

“Well I think the only person you managed to fool yesterday was Bill, but then he never was the sharpest man.”, the two smiled at each other. For some reason Cathryn felt quite uncomfortable, she had no idea whether Hosea truly approved of their relationship, especially with the incident in the tent a few weeks back. Hosea sensed the tension and tried to disperse it. “I think you’re good for him...”, Cathryn looked at Hosea in confusion. “Dutch, he’s always had a dream but like most men he has no way to truly achieve it. He has this small community and it helps soothe him but he envisages the world this way, he was a hungry man that could never be sated.” 

“Was?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Now I think, he has something more important, and he knows it. Now, that dream of freedom is more of a dream than a goal. Which, I’ve come to understand, is better.” 

“But wasn’t that your dream too?”, Cathryn asked, she always saw Dutch and Hosea as partners in this whole scheme. 

“Once upon a time it was. Then I had Bessie, she gave me a new meaning for life, having her ripped from me changed who I was. I became more cautious, especially of those I care about. I want nothing more than this gang to settle down, especially now with the law and this Cornwall gentleman. I think if anyone can do that it’s you.” 

“That’s a lot of pressure...”, Hosea shrugged, he knew it was but he needed her to hear it. “What about you? Can’t you convince Dutch to settle down?” 

“You know by now that Dutch doesn’t listen to me much anymore, he heeds my advice but that’s about it. Also, I don’t suspect I’ll be around much longer...”, Cathryn whipped her head around to face him. 

“What are you on about?”, Hosea sighed, watching the water ripple underneath them. 

“I’m dying, Cathy. Not sure what it is but I can feel it, I’m getting weaker every day. Coughing incessantly, blood with it most times.”, Cathryn felt the tears fill her eyes, Hosea couldn’t die, she had only just found him. He looked at her, smiled sadly and wiped away her tears. “It’s alright, it’s the natural order of things. I’m not scared, I’ve accepted it now. I just want to make sure I leave this gang in the best shape possible before I go. Before I see Bessie...”, Cathryn leant in, wrapping her arms around his chest, trying not to cry. 

“She’s been waiting a long time...”, Cathryn mumbled in Hosea’s shirt. 

“I hope she hasn’t given up on me...”, he chuckled, stroking her hair. Cathryn lifted her face up. 

“She would never, she loved you too much.”, Hosea nodded, then picking up Cathryn’s hand, he stared at the ring. 

“This was never the future we envisaged for you, I knew Dutch cared but I never once believed it would manifest to this. But I see you two together, how you keep him in check, how he truly loves and cares for you. You have my blessing.”, Cathryn smiled and pulled Hosea into another hug. She then pulled back, looking at the ring, scared to say it but she felt she needed to confide in someone. 

“I’m scared about Arthur...”, she said. “He knows, and I don’t think he’s happy about it.” 

“Arthur’s in love, what can you expect?”, Cathryn shot her head up, surprised that Hosea knew. “Don’t act so shocked, it’s clear to see. That’s why Dutch gets so frustrated, you forget, we’ve known Arthur since he was a boy. It will sting for a while but Arthur needs to get over it, you’ve chosen your side, he knows that too.” 

“Do you think Dutch will ever trust Arthur again?”, Hosea thought for a moment. 

“I think he has to. Dutch is a possessive man, make no mistake, but if he wants to keep this team together then he has to ease up. I reckon it will just take some time.”, he rested his hand on hers. “Now, how about we get back to fishing?”, Cathryn smiled, nodding her head. Fishing sounded good. 

*** 

Cathryn and Hosea brought back loads of fish with them to the camp, which made a lot of people very happy. Cathryn then went about some chores, helping to mend some clothes and clean up around the camp. She wanted everything perfect so that when dusk finally came around, everyone could relax. As the working day came to a close, Dutch gathered everyone around the manor. He gestured for Cathryn to join him, and with a blush on her face she stood by his side. 

“Good afternoon everyone, I want you to know that I truly appreciate all the work that you have been doing since we came here. It’s been a tough few weeks but we’re so close. I promise you. Now, the reason I brought you here is because I have some truly wonderful news.”, he glanced at Cathryn, a huge smile on his face. “Last night, I asked this beautiful woman next to me, if she would make me the happiest man in the world. If she would marry me...”, he paused, as everyone began whispering to each other in excitement. “and to my relief, she said yes!”, everyone burst in cheer, clapping for the couple as Dutch brought Cathryn close and kissed her on the temple. “So, tonight I want everyone to celebrate! We’ve got drink and good food, have a lovely evening folks!”, within seconds Cathryn was dragged away from Dutch by the girls who desperately wanted to see the ring, Cathryn showed them and they stared in awe. 

“Oh my god!”, Tilly shouted, “It’s beautiful!” 

“I’ll say! Must have cost a fortune!”, Karen said, a huge grin on her face. “Someone finally got Dutch on a leash...” 

“I wouldn’t say that...I don’t think anyone could bring Dutch to heel...”, Cathryn laughed, glancing at Dutch over her shoulder. She briefly glimpsed Molly walking away from the camp, her face red. 

“True...but congratulations anyway Cathryn!”, Karen said, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“So, when’s the wedding?”, Mary-Beth asked. 

“Probably after everything has calmed down a bit, maybe when Dutch finds us a new home.”, Mary-Beth nodded in agreement. 

“Might be waiting a long time then...”, Karen said, a grimace on her face. Cathryn frowned, it did seem too good to be true, but she couldn’t give up on Dutch. 

“Mind if I steal my fiancé for a moment?”, Dutch asked, grabbing Cathryn from behind. The girls shook their heads, huge smiles on their faces and watched as Dutch pulled her away. “Let me guess, they want to help plan the wedding...”, Dutch said, spinning Cathryn around to stare at her. 

“They want to know when it is...as do I...”, Cathryn whispered, getting on her tip-toes to kiss Dutch softly. Dutch pulled her closer, turning the once soft kiss into one of passion. Cathryn heard a few cheers from the men and she pulled away blushing. 

“Soon, I have a plan...”, he promised with a smirk on his face. “Now come on, no more questions. Let’s just celebrate.”. 

*** 

The hours of celebration went by fast. By the time the moon was high in the sky, everyone was drunk and dancing to the music played by Dutch’s phonograph. The dance has become much more informal and Cathryn found herself spinning around, switching partners every few seconds. She had just finished dancing with John when she span around, landing in Micah’s arms, her mood immediately deteriorated. 

“Great party Cathy...”, Micah said, “I hope you make Dutch very happy.” 

“Nice to see you’re in high spirits. What? No threats today?”, Micah smirked, shrugging casually. 

“I think you got the message last time.”, he stated, looking over at Dutch. “Poor Molly...did you see her heart shatter when she heard the news? She thought Dutch was truly incapable of love. She underestimated him...” 

“I never wanted to hurt her.”, Cathryn said, wanting this dance to be over. 

“You did though, didn’t you? Intent isn’t always everything. No one tell you that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned?”, with that it was time to change partners and Cathryn was thankful to finally move away from Micah. She span around until she ended up with Arthur. 

“You okay?”, he asked, instantly noticing her unease, Cathryn nodded but Arthur didn’t believe her. “Is it Micah? He’s a snake I know it...”, Cathryn sighed. 

“I don’t really want to talk about Micah. This is meant to be a happy day...” 

“Right...”, Arthur said, his face falling. “Congratulations are in order.”, though anyone could see that Arthur didn’t mean those words. 

“Arthur...”, Cathryn said softly, she wanted to comfort him but she knew Dutch would see. “Do you want to talk about it?”, she just wanted to get everything out in the open, she wanted to put it behind them. 

“Maybe another time, when I’m not being watched.”, he said, his eyes flickering to Dutch. Cathryn nodded, she would wait till another time. 

*** 

They were gathered around the fire, laughing at stories of adventures long ago. Cathryn was sat in Dutch’s lap, his hands wrapped around her waist, occasionally giving her a kiss. They both were no longer concerned with public displays of affection, the group seemed not to care either. 

“We haven’t heard anything from Cathryn...”, Javier said, pointing towards the couple. Everyone stared at her. 

“My stories aren’t as interesting as yours.”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Come on! Must have something!”, Bill shouted, Cathryn thought for a moment. 

“I remember I went through a rebellious stage, just before I was separated from the group. Dutch had been annoying me, I can’t really remember why now...and I decided I wanted payback...”, Dutch looked at her confused, he had no idea what she was going to say. “So anyway, I waited until he went bathing in the lake by where we lived and I stole his clothes, dumping them into a ditch. He then had no idea where they were and had to walk back to camp naked...”, everyone burst into laughter. Dutch looked in complete shock. 

“That was you?”, Cathryn nodded, her smile full of cheek and she yelped when Dutch lifted her up, throwing her over his shoulder as he stood up. “Have a good evening gentleman...”, Dutch said as he began to walk towards the manor house. Everyone waved goodbye and began laughing, knowing what was about to ensue. 

“Dutch!”, Cathryn cried, swatting at his back for him to let her down but he refused to do so until they had reached the bedroom. She landed on the mattress with a thud. 

“What am I going to do with you?”, he asked, to no one in particular. Cathryn laughed but she knew where this was heading, the heat rushing to her core told her so. “Such a bad girl, makes me wonder what else you’ve gotten away with...”, he then flipped her over so she was on her knees, her face pressed into the bed. He held her down, his body covering hers entirely. 

“If I’d have told you then you wouldn’t get to punish me now...”, Cathryn said, wiggling her ass towards his crotch, teasing him. 

“Oh, you underestimate me. I’m a very patient man.”, he whispered in her ear. His right hand sliding towards her ass, striking it hard. She yelped out into the night sky. “You were always going to be mine...”, he spanked her again, this time she held back the scream. 

“Oh really?”, she asked, wanting him to keep going, feeling herself get hotter. 

“Mmm...I can picture it in my mind...”, he whispered, pulling her ear lobe into his mouth, sucking softly and sending shivers through Cathryn’s entire body. “Seeing you as a woman for the first time, realising that I had to have you...makes me hard just thinking about it.” 

“Then tell me more...”, Cathryn teased, enjoying his hands all over her. She felt him lift up slightly, enough for him to slowly pull her skirt up over her ass. 

“It would have been subtle at first. We begin going on more missions together, just you and me. Then I would start spoiling you more. Whatever you wanted: clothes, jewels, books...”, he leant down and kissed her sex which caused Cathryn to squeal, trying to move away but Dutch kept her steady. “Keeping the boys away from you, knowing that if I see the woman you are turning into then so would they...”, he bit down on her ass cheek hard, a brief moment of pain that turned into pleasure. “Then one night, I would sneak into your room and show you what this little button does...”, he flicks her clit with his fingers before pressing down on it. Cathryn trembled at the pressure, shaking in Dutch's hands. “What I would have given to witness that moment...”, he begins to rub softly, his entire emphasis on her clit, watching Cathryn fall apart. “Should have made you call me daddy, hm?”, he asked. “Then you would come to me every night, begging me to help you. You’re just so hot, so needy, all the damn time.”, he lowers his mouth back to her sex, kissing it, running his tongue up and down her clit. “Who am I to say no?”, he lifts up and she hears him undoing his trousers. “Who am I to refuse my little girl?”, she feels the hot head of his cock at her entrance. 

“Daddy...”, she whimpers. 

“That’s right...”, he groans. “Then one night it’s just not enough, you need something more.”, he presses into her. “You just know that you need to be filled...”, just a little more and it finally gives, Cathryn moans loudly into the night as he pushes forwards. “and I am more than happy to do so...”, he thrusts forward until he’s fully inside her and stops, running his hand from her back to the bottom of her stomach, feeling around till he’s found what he’s looking for. “There it is...”, he groans. “I can feel it, my cock inside of you. God, you’re so small, surprised I haven’t ripped you open...”, the thought should have terrified her but it only made her clench even tighter around his cock. At this angle he felt so much bigger, she loved it. He began to thrust slowly, gripping her hips tight. 

“Fuck Dutch...”, she moaned into the bed, trying to grab onto the mattress. 

“Language...”, he reminded her, spanking her ass again. “The thought of sneaking into your room every night fills me with such lust...”, he pulled her back onto his cock this time, his balls slapping into her clit. Cathryn moaned deeply when she felt his cock hit her cervix, why did he always feel so good? “Would have to stuff your mouth to keep you quiet so no one would hear, could you do that for me little one?”, Cathryn nodded, words unable to leave her mouth. “Such a good girl.”, he thrusts faster now, pulling her to him. “It matters not now; you belong to me. Everyone knows it, so I can make you scream as loud as I want.”, he slapped her hard this time, pushing himself in as far as she could go. She screamed, just like he wanted. Normally she would have retorted his statement but her mind was blank, all she could focus on was pleasure. He placed his hand on the back of her head, pushing her further down onto the bed, angling them so he managed to go even deeper, hitting a point in her that made her see stars. “I want him to hear...”, Dutch growled in her ear. 

“What?”, Cathryn whimpered, in her euphoria she had no idea who was he on about. 

“That’s it, just focus on me. I’ll figure out everything else...”, he moaned in her ear, finding her clit with his right hand. “Just you and me sweetheart...”, the orgasm crept up on both of them, Dutch pushing in deep to fill her with his seed, leaving Cathryn as a quivering mess. He left a sloppy kiss on her cheek and pulled her over on top of him. “Such a good girl.”, he whispered when she finally blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some emotions, some celebrations and some smut...what more could you want? 
> 
> Full disclosure: Dutch is still gonna go down a path of madness, I personally don't believe that anything or anyone could stop him from his path, no matter how much he loves them. Things will play out a little differently, but in some ways Cathryn being involved is going to make the situation worse as Dutch is incredibly possessive and insecure. Just wanted to warn you for what is coming next! I hope you are enjoying and thank you so much for all your support!


	35. Ace-high Diamond Flush

Cathryn woke up to Dutch stroking her back lazily, she groaned and turned around, cuddling him tight. 

“Good morning...”, he said, kissing her shoulder. She grunted in response which earned a chuckle from him. “Busy day today, lots going on. I’ll have to get up soon.” 

“What’s happening today?”, Cathryn asked, finally waking up. 

“Well we’ve got a few intel projects regarding Bronte’s information and Trelawny is taking some of the men to the fancy river-boat we spoke about.”, Cathryn nodded and then sat up, leaning over Dutch as she smiled at him. 

“Can I go with them?”, Dutch raised one of his eyebrows. “Come on. It sounded like fun, I think I can do this one.” 

“I’m not too sure...”, Dutch said, but he made no attempt to move from his position. 

“It’s a fancy boat, right? You’ll get to see me in a pretty dress...”, Cathryn said, slowly kissing down Dutch’s jawline, she felt him tense up beneath her. “Then you get to take me out of a pretty dress...”, Cathryn looked up at him, watching him think for a moment then finally nod. 

“Fine, but I get to take it off...”, Cathryn grinned at him, sitting up and holding her hand for him to shake. “Deal.” 

*** 

“You’re going to look magnificent my dear!”, Trelawny said as they wandered through the streets of Saint Denis. “Plus, you will get the honour of seeing me turn Arthur from an ugly duckling into a swan!” 

“The epitome of grace...”, Cathryn joked. 

“It will be a splendid affair.”, they waited by the gate of the park until Arthur finally joined up with them. He saw Cathryn, his face showing small signs of shock, he didn’t expect her to be there. “There you are dear boy! We’ve been waiting for you!” 

“Didn’t realise you were coming...”, he said to Cathy. 

“I’m not gonna miss a chance to go on a big fancy boat.”, Cathryn said, a smirk on her face. “Plus, I wanted to see Trelawny make you look pretty!” 

“Pretty?”, Arthur said, looking confused and slightly scared. 

“Well, you can’t play at the tables on a Lannahechee River Boat looking like that...”, Trelawny said, gesturing to Arthurs clothing with mild disgust. Cathryn giggled, causing a glare from Arthur. “Now come on...”, Trelawny said, gesturing to the shop behind them, a tailors. They went inside, it was the nicest tailors Cathryn had ever been inside, maybe this was where Dutch bought her dress. 

“How can I help you gentlemen...oh and madam!”, the store keeper said. 

“My friend here is in need of a new suit!”, Trelawny said, patting Arthur on the back, “and this lovely lady needs a new dress, formal occasion.”, the store keeper nodded, looking through his catalogues. Arthur picked one straight away, not caring much about how he looked but Cathryn decided on a deep red dress, it was a bit less formal than the blue one Dutch had bought her, more modern. Cinched in tight at the waist and flaring out at the hips, the neckline was quite low cut. She was sure Dutch would appreciate it. “Excellent!”, Trelawny said, Arthur trying to hide a blush as she span around for them. “Now, off we go to the Barbers!”, Cathryn giggled like a little girl at Arthurs face, he really wasn’t enjoying this experience. 

“Come on Arthur, Trelawny is your new fairy godmother! He’ll make you look gorgeous!”, Arthur pushed her side playfully, a small smile finally on his lips. 

“Herr Strauss has scoped the whole place out! It’s genius really!”, Trelawny said as they made their way to the barbers. “You’re going to play cards and win big! Everyone is going to think your new money from the oil fields, come to lay it on thick and drunk! All the while, Strauss is going to be signaling you in your line of sight.”, Cathryn was shocked, it was a really good plan, if they could pull it off. “Then they’ll take you upstairs to pay you and you and Javier can take whatever you want!” 

“You don’t think they’ll be suspicious about an armed Mexican coming in with me?”, Arthur asked and Trelawny shrugged. 

“I think it sounds fun!”, Cathryn said, linking arms with the gentlemen. 

“See! This is why I like you Cathryn!”, Trelawny said, smirking at Arthur. They finally made their way to the Barbers and Trelawny went up to the man in charge. “My good man, will you smarten up my dear hick friend here?”, Arthur grunted, causing another soft laugh from Cathryn as he was ushered into a chair. Cathryn and Trelawny watched, throwing quips at each other whilst Arthur was transformed into a new man. “Excellent Arthur, you look amazing.” 

“I’ve never seen you under all that facial hair Arthur!”, Cathryn said. 

“You like it?”, Arthur asked softly, Cathryn smiled and nodded. 

“You look very handsome.”, Cathryn then used the mirror to put her hair up in a low bun before they left, she was astounded to see a horse and carriage waiting for them. 

“I arranged some Transporation! We have to arrive in style!”, Cathryn laughed in disbelief as Arthur helped her onto the carriage. Then without a minute to lose they were off, “Now we need a story. Arthur, you’ve come from new money, an oil field! You’re there to bet big, you’re there to get drunk. No one will think you can win but you will, with help from Herr Strauss. Cathryn, you will be Arthurs companion for the evening, make of that what you will.”, Cathryn nodded, good thing Dutch wasn’t on the mission. 

“This is amazing Trelawny.”, Cathryn said, smiling as she passed by people on the streets of Saint Denis. 

“That it is my dear!”, Trelawny said, gesturing to the world around him. “Now, the mark is a man called Desmond Blythe, made his fortune in hosiery of all things! Likes to play fast and always keeps some extra collateral in the safe upstairs.” 

“How will Strauss know what Arthurs cards are?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Good question, he doesn’t. But the card dealer has recently become a very good friend of mine.”, Cathryn nodded, Trelawny obviously didn’t leave any loopholes in his plan. “Everything is arranged for you Arthur, the chips and the money, so just go in there and enjoy yourself!”, Arthur grunted, nodding, as they made their way to the large boat. “Leave any weapons here, or they’ll search you.”, the two of them nodded and kept their weapons in the wagon before walking to the boat. “Gentlemen!”, Trelawny said as they walked over to Strauss and Javier. “Arthur, you remember these boys we met in New York!”, he was loud enough not to sound suspicious. “Come gentlemen! Champagne is on dear Arthur! He’s rich as can be and feeling luckier than a turkey served on Thanksgiving!”, Cathryn then instinctively went to take Arthurs arm, he looked at her quickly, clearly slightly nervous but her smile calmed him. 

“It’s okay.”, she said, “Let’s have some fun.”, Arthur nodded and they went to get on the boat. 

*** 

“Now, don’t lose too much money or your wife will kill me...”, Trelawny laughed as Cathryn gripped onto Arthurs arm, laughing with the joke. 

“Let’s have some fun baby...”, Cathryn said, smirking at Arthur, he was finally coming out of his shell. She then pointed to the empty seat up ahead where Arthur was meant to be playing and walked him over to it. 

“Good evening gentlemen...Arthur Callahan.”, Arthur introduced. “And this is my lovely lady, Cathryn Blanchard.” 

“Pleasure to meet you gentlemen...”, Cathryn said, instantly gaining the favour of all the men around the table, she was glad she went with the red dress. “Have fun darling.”, she kissed Arthur on the cheek and went over to the bar to meet Trelawny, as they watched Arthur play from afar. 

“Well, if this plan doesn’t work out then they may be distracted enough by you to let Arthur win anyway...”, Trelawny said, offering her some champagne. “Arthur certainly is...” 

“Oh please...”, Cathryn said, taking a sip, watching Strauss from the corner of her eye. 

“So that’s why Dutch and Arthur seem a bit off each other, no I understand. The heart wants what it wants.”, Trelawny said, taking a drink. 

“I’m loyal to Dutch.”, Cathryn said, looking at Arthur. 

“I have no doubt, my dear. He’s a very lucky man.”, Cathryn smiled at him. 

“We’ll all be very lucky tonight if we pull this off.”, they watched as Desmond Blythe won the first round. Trelawny nodded, watching as the other men left the table. It was just Arthur and Desmond now, and Desmond was too high off his own fumes of success to be smart. The second round of the game had started and within moments they watched as Desmond Blythe threw his cards to the table, the chips were all with Arthur. It had worked. 

“Now, one more game for the collateral.”, Trelawny whispered to her, taking another sip of drink. Arthur stood up but after some stern words from Desmond Blythe he sat back down, they were playing again. She saw Trelawny smiling. They watched as he put all of his chips in, he was confident or cocky, but when Arthur joined him, she knew this would be something to remember. She saw as the man became angry but then he calmed down, realising he had lost, shouting about it would just ruin his reputation. Arthur then stood up, following one of the staff out of the room. “He’s off to get the watch, Javier will join him soon. We should stay down here to avoid any confusion, if something does go wrong I’ll let you know.”, Cathryn nodded. 

“You’re a man of many talents Trelawny...”, Cathryn said, smiling at him. “Definitely look a lot better than when we picked you up back in Rhodes...”, Trelawny chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Not my best performance...”, they waited for a moment, ready to pounce should the need arise but they calmed down the moment they saw Javier escorting Arthur down the stairs. Arthur came towards them. 

“We may need to leave soon, had to shoot a guy.”, Cathryn’s eyes went wide but she nodded, suddenly Desmond Blythe burst into their conversation. 

“You! I don’t like you; you cheat. There’s something that’s off...”, he was clearly drunk but he was making a scene they didn’t need right now. 

“There’s a lot I don’t like about you sir but I have the good manners to keep my mouth shut.”, Trelawny said as he stood up. 

“There he is!”, one of the guards shouted, the one missing a uniform that Javier was wearing. “Shoot them!”, Cathryn quickly jumped behind the bar as Javier threw Arthur his gun. She watched as Arthur stormed through the room, shooting head-shots everywhere, she never realised just how talented he was with a gun. He didn’t even look human like this. 

“Let’s get the hell out of here!”, Javier shouted, the four of them running out of the room and to the outside of the ship. 

“My lady...”, Trelawny said, gesturing to the water. 

“I can’t swim...”, Cathryn said, panicking. 

“You can’t swim! And you came on a boat heist?!”, Trelawny shouted. Cathryn sighed, realising what Arthur finally meant about Trelawny not fully making plans and jumped into the water with the rest of them. It was freezing cold, but better than a bullet through the skull. Arthur quickly grabbed onto her, keeping her afloat. 

“Well best to learn now!”, Arthur said, keeping her above surface and encouraging her to keep kicking. “I’m definitely teaching you how to swim if we make it out of here...” 

“Fine by me!”, she shouted back, gripping onto Arthur for dear life. 

*** 

Cathryn was still soaking wet by the time she slammed the door open to Dutch’s room, he looked at her in shock, his eyes running up and down her dripping body. 

“What happened?”, Dutch asked, filled with concern, he put his book down on the side. 

“Probably should’ve considered the fact I can’t swim before I went on a boat heist...”, she laughed, though she was exhausted from swimming. 

“Perhaps...did it go okay?”, he stood up, walking over to her. 

“Yeah, until the guard Javier stole the uniform from showed up.”, Dutch nodded, placing his hands on her waist. “Like my dress?”, she asked coyly. 

“It’s beautiful...”, he said running his hands up and down her rib cage, stopping under her breasts. “But it’s soaking wet...” 

“It’s not the only thing...”, Cathryn said, a glint in her eye. Dutch seemed to get the message and pushed her into the wall, kissing her passionately. Cathryn threw her arms around Dutch’s neck as he lifted her up, winding her legs around him as he thrusted against her core. He then picked her up, moving her around and throwing her on the bed, her hair coming completely undone. 

“There she is...”, he said, grabbing her legs and pulling her to the end of the bed, Cathryn shrieked at the movement but Dutch just seemed amused. “I think I’ll fuck you in this dress once and then I’ll take it off and fuck you again? How does that sound?”, Dutch asked, running his fingers up and down her thigh, his left hand going to her throat. It should have scared her but she was just turned on, he could break her so easily. 

“Only if you have the stamina...”, she replied with a smirk, she loved to tease him like this, it only made him more rough. 

“Oh my love, you don’t know the meaning of the word.”, he whispered in her ear before he engulfed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like my writing then please check out the new Dutch/OFC story I'm writing called 'Thicker than Water', it's basically RDR2 meets Avatar the last Airbender. You don't wanna miss Dutch as a fire-bender....


	36. Dominance

Cathryn woke up to the sound of filtered laughter coming through the door that led to the balcony. Her eyes widened in shock when she realised the noise in question came from Arthur. She quickly looked down to find herself completely nude, other than the thin sheet Dutch must have covered her with. She groaned, throwing her hands to her face as she realised that Arthur had probably seen her in such a state, growing even more red when she deduced that Dutch probably relished in it. He really needed to give Arthur a break, still it seemed they were having a nice chat outside. Cathryn got up quickly, wincing as she felt how sore she was from last night. Dutch promised to show her stamina and he did, she couldn’t remember how many times he made her cum but by her body's state she knew it was a lot. She got up slowly and grabbed the clothes that were nearest to her, hoping they wouldn’t come back into the room whilst she was changing. When she was finally done, hair down the way Dutch liked, she made her way to the balcony. 

“Ah, there she is!”, Dutch said, a huge smile on his face. He pulled her over to him, kissing her passionately, Cathryn would have been turned on if Arthur hadn’t been watching the scene unfold. Cathryn pulled away first, blushing as she saw Arthur trying to look away. “Sleep well sweetheart?”, Dutch asked, keeping her close. 

“Very, though I had quite a fright when I realised someone had been in our room.”, her tone was short, she was a bit pissed off at Dutch for letting Arthur in. She had nothing against Arthur but she knew that Dutch had only chosen the location of the conversation to show off his prize. She could only imagine how Arthur must have felt seeing her, knowing Dutch was doing it for his own twisted satisfaction. Dutch just laughed. 

“Don’t worry darlin’, Arthur didn’t see anything. I made sure you were presentable before he came in...”, Cathryn sighed, it seemed that throwing a thin sheet over her body made her presentable. If he really didn’t want Arthur to see he would have thrown over several blankets, or spoken somewhere else. Cathryn crossed her arms, Dutch watched, noting her obvious frustration. 

“It’s alright...”, Arthur said, obviously reading the room, “I didn’t look. I promise.”, Cathryn looked at Arthur and smiled. 

“I tell you Arthur, she keeps me young, this one.”, Dutch said, gesturing to Cathryn. “I’ve never had passion like it... How long were we up, my dear?”, he smirked, staring at Cathryn, who knew full well he wasn’t going to stop until she gave him what he wanted. She walked over to him, embracing his mid-section, refusing to look at Arthur. 

“Late...”, Cathryn said, hoping that would satisfy Dutch. She felt his left hand gliding up and down her arm. 

“I was going to say early...I’m sure the sun was starting to rise...”, he replied, she could hear the smirk in his voice. 

“So, the trolley bus station?”, Arthur asked, trying to change the conversation, she felt Dutch loosen up. 

“I went down there, took a look at it. I think we can hit it.”, Cathryn released Dutch and looked up at him, he hadn’t said anything to her about it. He slowly took out a cigar, offering one to Arthur and then began to light them. 

“I ain’t ever robbed in a city before...”, Arthur said, taking a puff of his cigar. 

“Just leave the planning to me.”, Dutch said, breathing out a puff of smoke. Cathryn coughed; she hated the smell of smoke but Dutch didn’t pay her any attention. “Will you ride with me?”, Arthur looked up from the floor, he almost looked shocked at Dutch’s sincerity. There had been so much tension in the air between the two of them since she had arrived, this seemed to be Dutch’s attempt to build a bridge. Maybe then he would stop trying to play the two of them for his amusement. 

“Always.”, Arthur vowed, causing Dutch to smile softly. Good, Cathryn thought, this is a step in the right direction. The two men came close, patting each other on the back in a sort of embrace, laughing all the while. When they finally parted, Dutch took another puff of his cigar. 

“We’ll need one more I reckon...”, Dutch said, thinking for a moment. 

“I say Lenny.”, Arthur said, he was confident in his choice. Cathryn had heard that Lenny was really growing into his own recently, every time she had worked with him, she always felt safe. Cathryn nodded at his choice; Dutch glanced at her. 

“Not Micah?”, Dutch asked, almost astounded, Cathryn snorted at the suggestion. “What?” 

“Well that depends, if you want a massacre or a pay-day...”, Arthur grumbled, breathing out some smoke. 

“Now I wish there was something I could do to make the two of you get along better, you too Cathryn.”, Dutch said softly, as if he was really trying. 

“He scares me.”, Cathryn said, looking up at Dutch with soft eyes, hoping that he could sense her sincerity. Hoping that he would want to protect her. “There’s something there, in his eyes, he wants more than this dream Dutch. More than money. Sometimes I think he enjoys inflicting pain.”, Dutch watched her intensely, listening to every word she was saying. 

“I’ll say something...”, Dutch said, but that just filled Cathryn with dread. All she could think of was Micah’s threat, how it could unleash something in Dutch. 

“No! Please Dutch, don’t. Just keep an eye on him.”, Dutch seemed incredibly confused by Cathryn’s outburst but nodded his head anyway, pulling her into a comforting embrace. They stayed like that for a moment when Cathryn watched Arthur move from the corner of her eye, he looked intrigued by something. 

“What the hell is that?”, Dutch turned around, slowly letting Cathryn go. When she heard Mary-Beth scream she finally whipped around to see a headless man riding into camp on a horse. Cathryn gripped Dutch’s arm as he stared intently at the figure. 

“It’s Kieran!”, Karen screamed, Cathryn’s heart stopped. He was such a sweet boy, who would have done this to him. 

“Look, there in the tree line.”, Dutch said, pointing to the horizon. Cathryn looked to see figures hidden in the foliage, only visible to the three on the balcony. “Everybody! Take cover!”, Dutch screamed to the group below him. What followed next were the shots from the tree line and the screams of the gang on the floor. Dutch grabbed Cathryn, pulling her in front of him and pushing her front into one of the thick pillars of the balcony whilst he covered her back with his large body. “The O’Driscoll boys...I know it!”, Dutch shouted to Arthur who was already taking shots at the approaching figures. Dutch took a few shots, always coming back to Cathryn to keep her covered. “Keep yourself in love...”, he whispered. 

“My gun, it’s inside. Let me help.”, Cathryn begged but Dutch just ignored her. 

“Women and children inside! Now!”, Dutch screamed to the gang below him, he grabbed Cathryn, spinning her around so that he was still acting as her cover from the gunfire and pushing her into the master bedroom. Cathryn ran into the room and quickly picked up her shotgun and some ammunition. Whilst she heard Dutch talking to Arthur she slipped out of the room and ran downstairs to the front door. “Cathryn!” she heard Dutch yell but she needed to get downstairs and help everyone. Mr. Pearson was already inside with Molly and Mary-Beth, as Cathryn busted open the front door a wave of people ran inside. Cathryn took cover near the front entrance, looking for the perfect opportunity to shoot one of the O’Driscolls. 

“Don’t let anyone in the front door!”, Cathryn shouted to the men who were outside, fighting to keep them safe. Cathryn took a shot at one man who was running blindly into open range. Arthur then joined her. 

“Get back inside. Dutch is pissed.”, Arthur ordered. 

“I’ve got a gun, haven’t I?”, she took another shot, watching the man fall to the floor. “I’m not gonna sit inside when I have a perfectly good shot.”, Arthur groaned, looking up and taking a couple more O’Driscolls out. 

“Cathryn! Get back inside!”, she heard Dutch yelling but she just moved forward to go next to Charles. She couldn’t deal with being shouted at whilst she was trying to keep a calm head. 

“Shit, there’s a wagon!”, Cathryn shouted, Charles shouted the same and everyone poised themselves as they watched a two-horse drawn wagon riding into camp. “There could be explosives or more ammo”, Cathryn said to Charles who nodded in agreement. 

“We’re overwhelmed! We need to get back in the house!”, she heard John shout, she whipped her head around to look at Arthur. 

“Come on.”, Charles said as he grabbed Cathryn, knowing she wouldn’t leave without force. When they finally reached the house, Dutch grabbed her and pushed her into the wall. 

“What the fuck was that?”, Dutch shouted, no longer caring that everyone was watching. “I gave you an order!” 

“Dutch, we need to focus.”, Hosea said, trying to calm down the situation. Dutch sighed and turned around to face his crew. 

“Everyone, get the windows shut. Arthur, you take the windows in the back. Go!”, everyone ran to their stations, shutting all the windows with wooden planks, hoping to keep everything secure. “We will talk later. Stay here.”, Dutch ordered Cathryn before leaving her in the hallway. “Is everyone accounted for?”, she heard Dutch shouting, he was already preoccupied. That was when Cathryn got a glimpse of Ms. Adler, she was still outside, still shooting the O’Driscolls. Cathryn ran towards the back window, jumping over it to the surprise of Arthur and ran towards her shouts. She heard Arthur screaming her name but she didn’t care, going round the old back-house to see Sadie stabbing three O’Driscoll men in the throat. 

“Sadie!”, Cathryn shouted, helping her up from the floor. “You should be inside.” 

“And miss all this?”, Sadie said, a smirk on her face, she was enjoying this. Cathryn took cover round the side of the building and took another shot at the O’Driscolls. “Come on Cathryn!”, Sadie shouted, running in the other direction to where more were headed. 

“Shit.”, Cathryn groaned, if Dutch thought she was unruly than he should take a look at Sadie Adler. She heard Arthur run in to join them. 

“Do you have a death wish?”, he asked as he took out a few more of the O’Driscolls, she had never seen someone shoot with such accuracy. 

“I saw Sadie! Couldn’t leave her alone!”, Cathryn said, trying to defend herself. 

“Dutch won’t see it that way...”, Cathryn took two shots at some more of the men in a row boat. 

“They need us back at the house Cathryn!”, Sadie shouted, pausing when she saw Arthur had joined them. “Oh, hello Arthur.” 

“Ms. Adler.”, Arthur greeted, tipping his hat quickly as they ran back towards the house, Arthur bringing Cathryn down into some more cover. “Stay here.”, he ordered before running towards the front of the house with Sadie. Cathryn groaned in frustration, keeping a look out to ensure no O’Driscolls came towards the house from the swamp. When she heard the shooting finally stop, watching Dutch exit the house she ran towards the entrance. 

“Cowards!”, Dutch shouted to the corpses on the ground. 

“Are we okay?”, Hosea asked. 

“I think so...”, Dutch said, surveying the land around them. “except for poor Kieran here...”, Dutch nudged the body with his foot. Cathryn walked slowly over to Dutch; he still hadn’t seen her yet. “Mr. Swanson, Would you please take this boy and bury him?”, Reverend Swanson nodded, grimacing as he saw the severed head. 

“Would you boys help me pick him up?”, Hosea asked, several of the men taking hold of Kieran. “We need to clean this place up...Mr .Pearson! Ms. Grimshaw!” 

“Already on it!”, Ms. Grimshaw shouted as she looked at a pile of bodies. Dutch turned around, locking eyes with Cathryn, he looked pissed. 

“Colm O’Driscoll...”, Arthur stated as he looked around. “That man can really hate.” 

“So can I Arthur, so can I”, Dutch promised. “We need to get moving, away from here.”, he looked back to Arthur. 

“Find a new camp?”, Arthur asked. 

“You aren’t thinking big enough Arthur. You’re not seeing the vastness of our problems and our opportunities!”, Dutch said, gripping Arthur by the arm. 

“I don’t understand...”, Arthur said. 

“You will son, you will.”, he promised before turning around to face Cathryn. “Meet me at the trolley station the day after tomorrow Arthur, we have work to do.”, he then walked over to Cathryn grabbing her by the arm and pulling her towards the water’s edge. “What the fuck was all that about?”, Dutch asked, staring at the water, she could see he was filled with rage. She needed to be careful. 

“I had to help, Dutch, I can shoot.” 

“I gave you an order.”, he said, finally looking at her. “We are a team, but overall, I am still the leader of this gang. You do what I say, especially when we are in front of everyone else.”, Cathryn sighed, looking to the ground. “You were unruly, you were disobedient. If you were anyone else I would make an example of you!” 

“Are you?” Cathryn asked, looking into his eyes, daring him to punish her in front of everyone. Dutch thought for a moment. 

“No, I can see this needs to be dealt with in private. But if you do it again, then I swear Cathryn, I don’t care who sees.” 

“What? Like Arthur this morning? That was punishment? What did I do that time Dutch?”, Dutch waved his hand and walked off, he had no intention of answering that question. Cathryn screamed internally before kicking one of the dead bodies by her feet. 

*** 

As night fell, Cathryn strolled into the master bedroom, eyes straight on Dutch who was lounging on the bed, reading a book by Evelyn Miller. He didn’t say a word, didn’t even acknowledge her so she came to the bottom of the bed and crawled on top, getting closer and closer until she reached his body. Without a word she began to undo his trousers, running her fingers along the seam to rouse his thick cock. Again, he made no movements, just turning to the next page. When she finally got his hardening member free, she wrapped her small hand around him, pumping up and down a few times, trying to get a reaction. The only thing she noticed however were his knuckles tightening around his book, frustrated she lowered her head and licked along the slit at the top of his cock. Dutch sighed, folding in the corner of a page and putting it on the bed-side table. He then leant back; eyes shut. 

“This your way of apologising?”, he asked as she ran her tongue around the head of his cock. She lifted her head slightly. 

“No...”, she then went back in, sliding her tongue up from the balls to the tip, feeling him shudder. 

“Then what is this?”, he asked, opening his eyes slightly to stare at her. 

“Just felt like it. Why? Want me to stop?”, Dutch chuckled as he thrusted his hips upwards, he didn’t want her to stop. She began to suck softly, only a third of his cock in her mouth. 

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”, he said, stroking her hair with his right hand. “You think you can bend me to your will by using pleasure, that’s my trick darling...” 

“Is it working?”, Cathryn asked with a smirk, Dutch could only laugh. 

“Thing is sweetheart, when I make you cum, I am fully in control...”, Cathryn looked up at him. 

“And I’m not?”, she asked, staring at him as she licked his cock from root to tip, watching the lust fill his eyes at the sight. Feeling as his fingers threaded themselves through her hair. 

“No, you aren’t.”, he swore, tightening his grip in her hair and pushing her down to take in his cock as far as she could. Cathryn grabbed the sheets, shocked at Dutch’s action, she tried to pull up but he wouldn’t let her move. “Now look at you...such a pretty girl, sucking my cock like that...”, he gathered her hair up in his fist, pulling up and pushing back down again, thrusting his cock in her mouth. She tried to say his name but it was no use with his cock down her throat, he pushed her further down, Cathryn gripping his thighs in fear she was going to suffocate. He pulled her back up. 

“Dutch...”, she croaked, spit running down her chin. 

“Such a messy girl, clean me up...”, he then pulled her back to his cock, she took it willingly. “So you see my dear, no matter how much you try, I will always be in control. There’s no fighting it.”, he pulled her back up, slapping her lightly on the face. “What did I just say?” 

“Challenge accepted.”, Cathryn smirked, secretly enjoying this game they were playing. Dutch just glared and brought her back to his cock, turning them over so he was on top of her, pushing his cock down her throat whilst she was trapped under his large form. She was starting to gag, tears streaming down her eyes. 

“I’ve had enough of this behaviour, Cathryn. You’re mine, have been since I saved you. I know you secretly enjoy me putting you in your place and I’m very willing to do that when it’s just us but what happened today was unacceptable”. He pushed down harder on her, she grabbed onto the sheets, unable to breath. Her eyes were wide open, staring at Dutch, begging him to let her up. “I know it’s hard for you to come to terms with it but the sooner you accept it the better it will be for you. Arthurs learnt his place, time for you to learn yours.”, Cathryn nodded, just wanting him to let up. “When I let you go, I want you to apologise and tell me who you belong to. Really, really mean it. I want to believe every word.”, he whispered before pulling up and letting his cock fall from her mouth. She gasped for air and turned over, breathing in and out, watching Dutch as he watched her. 

“I’m sorry...”, she started, coming towards him again, their lips millimeters apart. “I’m so sorry Dutch...I’ll be good. I promise.”, Dutch nodded, running his fingers through her hair again. 

“Who do you belong to?”, he asked quietly. 

“You, Dutch. I belong to you.”, she answered with complete sincerity. He nodded and then flipped her over, ass in the air as he pulled up her skirts, his hands pushed her head into the mattress. 

“That was the right answer sweetheart...”


	37. A Good Man

The next day had gone by smoothly, though clearing piles of dead bodies from the grounds around Shady Belle was no easy task, and the flies were now getting to them. 

“This is disgusting...”, Abigail said, holding her nose as she passed by with Jack. “It’s never been this bad before...”, Cathryn grimaced at the scene before them. 

“Yeah, it’s not a pretty sight.” 

“I mean especially for Jack here, he shouldn’t have to see all this.”, Abigail said, holding Jack close. 

“I’ll get it sorted.”, Cathryn promised, smiling at Abigail. 

“Thank you, Cathryn...”, Abigail said before picking up Jack and walking to the other end of camp. Cathryn went over to Ms. Grimshaw, who was dumping another body onto the pile of corpses at the edge of camp. 

“How long until they’re burnt?”, Cathryn asked, trying not to look too closely at the maggots on one of the O’Driscoll’s feet. 

“Should be finished by the end of today, we need to burn them or another animal might smell it and come looking.”, Ms. Grimshaw explained, wiping some blood on her sleeve. “God, I stink. I need a bath soon.”, Cathryn laughed and then turned as she heard Arthur calling out her name. 

“Cathryn, there you are. I was hoping I could talk to you.”, Ms. Grimshaw looked between the two and walked away, obviously not wanting to get involved. 

“What is it Arthur?” 

“You remember those Native Americans at the garden party we went to?”, Cathryn nodded, she couldn’t remember them specifically but she knew they had been there, she had seen Bronte’s disgust towards them. “Well we’ve become acquainted and they have a job for us, Dutch is on board. I thought you’d like to join me, I promised him you won’t get too involved, it’s a one man mission but it’ll get you out of camp for a while.”, Cathryn nodded, thinking for a moment whether she should go, obviously Dutch seemed to be okay with her and Arthur going off together and if she stayed any longer in this stench of a camp she may pass out so she eventually agreed. 

“Sounds like fun, when do we go?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Now, we need to ride out to the oil fields near Citadel Rock, it should take a while.”, Cathryn nodded and the two made their way over to the horses. Cathryn gave Rosemary a rub between the ears, it had been too long since they went riding together. She then jumped on her back and the two of them were off, making their way through the trees and out onto the great plains. 

“So, what’s this all about?”, Cathryn asked, as they galloped across the river. 

“The natives are being asked to move, but it goes against some sort of peace treaty. They reckon the government are moving them because there’s oil under the land they live on, oil that’s to be sold to Leviticus Cornwall. They just need proof...”, Arthur tried to explain. 

“And you’re going to get that proof? Why Mr. Morgan, you’re sounding like an old-fashioned hero!”, Cathryn said, a huge smile on her face as she watched him. 

“Nah, they’re just paying well.”, he tried to brush off. 

“With what money? If they’re as desperate as you say then surely they need every dollar they can get their hands on?”, Arthur shrugged. 

“Not my problem.” 

“Bullshit. You may act all tough around everyone else Arthur but I know you, deep down you’re a good man.”, Arthur refused to respond, instead focusing on the road in front of him. It was incredibly hot that day, Cathryn wiped the sweat from her forehead. “and what? You think this proof is actually gonna help them?” 

“Nah, I never said that...I think It's a lost cause. They’re like us Cathy, they want a different world than the one they have. We’re never gonna get the world we want and neither will they. It’s just dragging out the inevitable.”, Cathryn thought for a moment. First Hosea and now Arthur, if they didn’t believe in Dutch’s dream then what were they fighting for? 

“Well you may think that, and hell it may be true, but I refuse to believe this is all life has to offer. It may not be in my lifetime, or the next, but someday things will get better.”, Arthur scoffed but then looked over to Cathryn, thinking for a moment. 

“You’re starting to sound like Dutch.” 

“I’d rather have hope than nothing at all...”, Cathryn answered honestly, it’s meaning so profound that Arthur pondered on it for the rest of their trip. 

*** 

It had gotten dark by the time they reached Citadel Rock, they rode to the top of a large hill and met up with Eagle Flies, the son of the Native chief Arthur had spoken with. He was watching the oil fields with his binoculars, not even moving when they had come down from their horses. 

“So, you came, and you brought a woman?”, Eagle Flies asked, though it seemed her presence didn’t cause offense to him, more confusion. 

“Yes, I said I would. This is Cathryn, she’s going to help lookout.” 

“It’s lovely to meet you.”, she said but Eagle Flies just grunted, he didn’t care for pleasantries when there was work to be done. 

“There’s a foreman, his name is Danbury, he has the files in the office above the refinery room.”, Eagle Flies passed his binoculars to Arthur for him to have a look. “It’s the window with the blind drawn up. If the files are as incriminating as we believe, Mr. Cornwall’s men will destroy them if they know you are here.” 

“Better keep on your toes then Arthur...”, Cathryn jested. 

“Don’t worry, there’s only one of me. They won’t know I’m coming.”, Arthur said with all seriousness. 

“What is he looking for?”, Cathryn asked as she knelt closer to watch the oil fields, there were a few guards but not as many as she thought there would be. 

“There’s a report from Leland Oil Development Company...that should do it.”, Arthur nodded. 

“Look, there’s a wagon coming up ahead. You could probably sneak on one, it’s dark enough...”, Cathryn suggested, pointing to a wagon coming round the bend and towards the road going straight into the oil fields. Arthur nodded. 

“Alright, it’s settled. If you need help then call for us.”, Eagle Flies said, Arthur rolled his eyes but nodded in agreement, sneaking down the hill and round the road before swiftly climbing into the back of the wagon. Cathryn breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the driver hadn’t felt the extra weight. “So, he’s your partner?”, Eagle Flies asked. 

“No, we’ve just known each other for a long time.”, Eagle Flies nodded. “You really think these reports could help?”, she asked as she watched the wagon pull into the oil fields, all they could do was watch and wait for any trouble. 

“Personally, no. But my father, that’s a different story. He’ll do anything but fight for his freedom, but it will come down to that, eventually.”, Cathryn nodded, she knew the government wouldn’t stop infringing the rights of the Native Americans. She could only imagine the pain they must be feeling, the betrayal. 

“Well if you ever need anything then you can come to me. I’ll help you in any way that I can.”, Eagle Flies looked to her for a moment, contemplating what she had said and nodded in respect to her. 

“If only your friend felt the same way, instead of robbing us.”, Cathryn sighed, watching the oil fields. 

“I’ll talk to Arthur.”, Eagle Flies glanced her way, a small smile on his face. 

“Thank you, we appreciate the help.”, Cathryn smiled back. “I think he’s gotten into the building, we should keep watch just in case this all goes wrong.”, Cathryn nodded in agreement and they watched the office building closely. “There he is!”, Eagle Flies pointed out as Cathryn watched Arthur jump out the window, suddenly surrounded by guards. 

“Shit!”, Cathryn shouted, Eagle Flies quickly grabbed the bow and arrow to his right, lighting the arrow on fire and shooting it over to the oil reserve. The explosion was instant, causing everyone surrounding Arthur to fall to the floor. Cathryn grabbed her own bow and arrow, lighting it as Eagle Flies had done and sending it towards the oil field. There was another explosion. 

“Good! That should do it! Quickly, we must run and find your friend.”, Eagle Flies shouted, running over to his horse, climbing on and riding to the oil fields, Cathryn close behind him. Gunfire was beginning to shout but thankfully the guards were too preoccupied with Arthur to notice the two of them riding into the base. They stopped near the burning structure to see Arthur shooting his way out of a group of four men. “Come on Arthur, let’s go!”, Eagle Flies shouted, Arthur saw Cathryn and ran towards her, jumping on top of Rosemary and the three of them fled the oil fields. 

“Shit, they’re coming after us. Arthur, you reckon you can shoot them whilst I get us out of here?”, Cathryn shouted. 

“Already on it Cathy...”, Arthur said, loading his gun to shoot the nearby guards that were racing after them. When they were all gone, Eagle Flies, Arthur and Cathryn rode over to the hill they occupied previously, jumping off and coming close to one another. “Well...that explosion came just in time...” 

“I do love seeing the oil burn. So, you met Mr. Danbury?”, Eagle Flies asked, gesturing to the office. 

“Yes, don’t worry. He was very obliging...”, Eagle flies nodded, “I thought you weren’t gonna get involved?” 

“I thought you were gonna enter and leave silently...”, he shrugged, causing a small smile from Cathryn. He didn’t have to get involved but he did, but she would keep that secret between them. 

“Thank you.”, Arthur said, nodding to both Cathryn and Eagle Flies. “You saved my life...” 

“I hope...”, Eagle Flies faltered, “Well, I don’t know what I hope. But who knows? Maybe those documents will be of some use...”, Arthur handed the reports over to Eagle Flies, who in turn reached into his pocket to pay Arthur for his services. Arthur glanced towards Cathryn and when offered the money he shook his head. 

“It’s alright...”, Eagle Flies looked astonished but he didn’t press Arthur further, he needed the money too. 

“Thank you. I was wrong about you Mr. Morgan. You’re a good friend to our people, if you ever need anything...”, Arthur nodded, he understood how this worked. “and thank you too Cathryn, have a safe journey back...”, Cathryn smiled and watched as Eagle Flies mounted his horse and rode back to his camp. 

“You’re a good man Arthur Morgan...”, Cathryn whispered, though there was no one around for miles to spy on them. 

“Well, couldn’t really take the money without you holding a grudge. Just easier that way...”, Arthur grunted, Cathryn laughed, she would keep his secret too. What was it about men not wanting people to know they did the right thing? Arthur glanced at her, his gaze lingering. He took a step closer. 

“Alright Arthur...”, Cathryn conceded, a soft smile on her face, she didn’t realise how close he was. Didn’t realise until it was too late, until he took her by the face, kissing her passionately. Cathryn was in complete shock, she couldn’t move, couldn’t even push him away. When she finally came to her senses she placed her hand on his chest and pulled, Arthur let her go immediately. “Arthur...we can’t. Dutch...”, she whispered, her heart racing. 

“I’m sorry it’s just...”, he mumbled, running his hands up and down his face. “I had to show you, I had to give you the choice.”, Cathryn took a step back, touching her lips with her fingertips, tears filling her eyes. 

“I love Dutch...”, she whispered, but he didn’t seem to hear her. 

“I needed you to know before you go through with it. I am a choice for you...”, Cathryn looked to him, her gaze hardened. 

“What choice? You really think Dutch would be okay with this?”, she shouted, gesturing between the two of them, Arthur stared to the floor. 

“We could run away...”, Cathryn took another step back. 

“No, that’s your life.”, she said, hoping he could see some sense. 

“What life? I didn’t sign up to this. Constantly running from the law, from O’Driscolls or from Bounty Hunters. This isn’t a life worth living anymore. I’m done. Dutch will never be satisfied...”, he shouted, Cathryn watched him pour his soul out to her. “It’s all I’ve ever known, and it will be hard. But this ship is already sinking, I want to get off before I drown...”, he stopped for a moment, coughing towards the ground. “I’m giving you a choice...one you may not have realised before...” 

“Dutch won’t stop. He would hunt us down to the ends of the earth...”, Arthur nodded, he knew it too. “He would kill you, Arthur.”, Cathryn wiped the tears from her face. “Maybe, in another life, I would have chosen you. But I love Dutch, as crazy as this all is. I love him, he is my choice. If I drown, then I’ll drown...”, Arthur looked down to the floor, he couldn’t meet her gaze for all the money in the world. 

“I’m sorry, sorry I didn’t fight for you sooner...”, Cathryn didn’t respond, she had no idea what to say. “I’ll stay, I’ll stay for you. When you’re ready to go then say the word and we’ll be gone, no affection required.”, Cathryn sobbed, she wished she could make him change his mind. She wanted him happy, even if that meant leaving her. 

“Dutch...what do I say?”, she asked, suddenly panicking, she couldn’t lie to Dutch. Arthur looked up, fear in his eyes, he stepped forward and grabbed her by the shoulders. 

“You can’t say anything. No one else will know, I promise that this is the last time. You’ve chosen Dutch now; I promise that this is it for me. I won’t get in the way. I’m finally back on good terms with Dutch now, we can’t ruin it...the gang is barely surviving as it is...”, Cathryn nodded, she didn’t want to lie to Dutch but if he found out the gang could collapse. Arthur would never interfere again. 

“Okay. Thank you, Arthur...”, Arthur nodded and pulled her into an embrace. There was no romance in it, only comfort, they were both as scared as one another.


	38. Boiled Blood

Cathryn had managed to get Arthur out of her head by the time she saw Dutch that evening, it helped that by the time she had returned he had fallen asleep in their bed. He must have been exhausted; he was never a good sleeper. Cathryn walked over to him, hugging herself tightly and stroked the strands of hair that had fallen into his face. He looked so peaceful here, he didn’t even make a single sound. Cathryn smiled sadly, knowing that he didn’t deserve what had happened between her and Arthur and kissed the top of his head. She wouldn’t tell him, it would ruin everything, she hoped she could live with the lie. She quietly got undressed and crept into their bed, as if he had sensed her, Dutch rolled over and pulled her into his arms. Cathryn sighed, a small smile on her face, she always felt safe when he was around. 

*** 

When Cathryn woke up, she was sad to find that Dutch had left her alone. She knew he probably meant nothing by it but it was difficult not to worry with Arthur on her mind. It was only when she got dressed and left the house did she realise that they were going on that trolley mission together with Lenny. She crossed her fingers in hope that the score would be good. 

“Hey Cathy...”, John said as he came towards her. It was the first time she had seen him with a smile in a while. 

“Hey John.”, Cathryn replied, tucking a stray curl behind her ear. “You’re in a good mood.” 

“Yeah, I had a chat with Abigail earlier. I think she’s finally coming around, I’m trying to be a better dad for Jack. Especially after that thing with Bronte...”, he said, looking down to the floor. Cathryn nodded, she remembered the look on his face when Jack had called Bronte ‘papa’. 

“I’m really happy for you John. You’re gonna be a great father...”, John nodded, his confidence restored. 

“Congratulations by the way. Never pictured you and Dutch together in all honesty, thought if it was gonna be anyone it would be Arthur.”, Cathryn’s heart stopped, she felt herself begin to shake, but John took no notice. “Though I must admit, by the end, even I went a little sweet on you.”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows. 

“No way! You hated me!”, she shouted, slapping his arm playfully. 

“It’s the truth! I just hated that you were such a daddy’s girl around Dutch, you could do no wrong in his eyes.”, Cathryn scoffed. “You think I’m lying?” 

“Name a time.”, she dared and he thought for a moment. 

“That time you forgot to do your chores because you got lost in the woods!”, he said, Cathryn shook her head. 

“He was angry at me...” 

“No. He was worried about you, he didn’t care about the chores. There’s a difference.”, he stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Cathryn huffed and asked for another example. “Alright, when you ruined one of his shirts that one time!” 

“It was already ruined!”, John groaned, turning around on the spot. 

“Fine. I’m not gonna fight you on this anymore, but me and Arthur know it’s true!”, Cathryn laughed but it then filtered out. There was a pause in the conversation, “He’ll be okay.”, he promised her. Ah, she thought, he was talking about Arthur. It seems everyone knew about the triangle between her, Arthur and Dutch. 

“Thanks John. How long have they been gone?”, she asked. 

“A few hours now, they made sure to do it during the early hours of the morning. Should be back any moment if it all goes well.”, Cathryn smiled, nodding her head. She could wait a few moments. After saying goodbye to John she decided to go sit in the sunshine with Tilly, Mary-Beth and Karen. It was a beautiful day and the girls were taking advantage of the warm rays. It seemed that everyone today was relaxed, they were finally settled, even if they had to move soon it would be on better terms. That was until she heard the shouting and the pounding of hooves come into camp, they had returned and they didn’t look happy. Cathryn stood up and made her way over to Dutch who she noticed was bleeding heavily from the head. 

“Dutch!”, she cried, a crowd was starting to form. “What the fuck happened?” 

“That greasy son of a bitch set us up!”, Cathryn took a step back in shock, his tone was full of venom. She may have seen him like this in private but he wouldn’t dare make such a scene in public. 

“There was no money there, and a lot of cops waiting for us.”, Arthur tried to explain, he was also bruised up but everyone could see that Dutch was clearly badly injured. Dutch staggered towards Cathryn, wrapping his arms around her, bringing her close to him. 

“I need you.”, he whispered in her ear, Cathryn’s face grew red as everyone watched the two of them. She tried to laugh it off. 

“Dutch! You need to go see Ms. Grimshaw about that head of yours...”, but Dutch just held her tighter, his eyes left no room for discussion. 

“No, I need you now.”, he ordered, this time much louder. 

“Hey Dutch...”, John said, trying to get in between the two of them but Dutch just pushed him to the side. 

“Get off of me! I’m fine!”, Dutch shouted, Cathryn looked around and saw how uncomfortable everyone was. When Dutch made another move to get close to her, she put her arms out in defense. The look in his eyes was of pure pain at her rejection. 

“Dutch, I promise I’ll come see you later today. But you’re bleeding heavily from the head, you may have a really bad injury.”, she tried to explain, he was clearly rattled. She could see him look down to the floor in thought. “Come on, let’s get you patched up.”, she wrapped her arms around him and led him to the medical cart, thankfully no one followed them other than Ms. Grimshaw and Hosea. 

“You need to take it easy with an injury like that Dutch, the brain is a delicate thing.”, Dutch was silent however, Cathryn watched as Ms. Grimshaw observed the wound. He seemed like a completely different man. 

“I’ll kill him.”, Dutch vowed, staring off into the distance. 

“You’ll do no such thing unless you have to.”, Hosea chastised. “Remember, we don’t kill in cold blood.”, Dutch turned to Hosea, the fire back in his eyes. 

“My blood isn’t cold Hosea. It’s boiling hot right now.”, Cathryn could tell Dutch was holding back. He had realised where he was now, that there were eyes watching, eyes that depended on him. But she could see that all he wanted to do was scream. 

“Cathy, maybe you should give us some space.”, Hosea asked. Cathryn nodded, squeezing Dutch’s hand tight and then walked away. She was trying hard to be strong but, in all honesty, she was terrified for Dutch. She had never seen him in such a state before, hopefully the injury had nothing to do with it. Arthur and Lenny were talking to the crowd, when Arthurs gazed reached hers, Cathryn just looked away as she sat on the porch. She didn’t really want to talk to him right now. 

“Hey Cathryn, you okay?”, came a soft voice from behind her, it was Mary-Beth. 

“Not really, I’m just worried about him...”, she replied, looking over to Dutch. His face was no longer covered in blood. 

“He’ll be okay, it’s Dutch. We’ve been through worse things than this.”, Cathryn nodded, inviting Mary-Beth to sit down with her. “Maybe he just needs something to cheer him up.”, Cathryn glanced up to Mary-Beth, she could be right. She remembered that there was a shop they had walked by when they first came to Saint-Denis, it had some books in there he was interested in. Maybe she could get them for him and it would make things better, even a small amount of better was enough. 

“I think you’re right Mary-Beth, how do you fancy a shopping trip in Saint Denis?”, she knew she had her answer when Mary-Beth had a large grin on her face. “Come on then! We’ll take the wagon!”, the girls got up and made their way over to the wagon, Cathryn made sure to check with Mr. Pearson if they needed any supplies, of which there were some. She then gave the list to Mary-Beth and they were on their way to Saint Denis. 

“I sure hope Arthur’s alright...”, Mary-Beth said as they drove out past camp. Cathryn looked at her, an eyebrow raised. 

“Are you sweet on Arthur?”, she asked, Mary-Beth just blushed. 

“Maybe, I mean he’s very handsome. He’s also strong and brave, and he’s always kind to me.”, Mary-Beth leaned back to look at the clouds in the sky. “Like a hero in one of my books...”, Cathryn paused for a moment, she had no idea why she felt a slight twitch of jealousy inside her. 

“Does he know?”, Cathryn asked, Mary-Beth was a sweet girl, she was sure she could make Arthur happy. 

“No, at least I don’t think so...”, Mary-Beth mumbled but then sat up and looked to Cathryn. “Enough about me, how are you and Dutch?” 

“I mean, you did just see what happened back there.”, Cathryn laughed, pointing back to the direction of camp. Mary-Beth rolled her eyes playfully. 

“Apart from that...he really loves you.”, Cathryn frowned, she knew how much he loved her, which made everything with Arthur so much worse. “Everyone can see it, he’s changed.” 

“Really? What was he like before?”, Cathryn asked, honestly curious. 

“Well, before Molly he always had a different girl on his arm. God, there were so many, but they never lasted. When he met Molly it was like he was actually taking her seriously, she was rude and we didn’t really like her but we put up with it cause of Dutch. Then you came along and changed everything!” 

“I worry about Molly...”, Cathryn confessed as they made their way into Saint Denis. 

“She’ll be fine I think, it’s just heart-break. Plus, she never really made any friends here so she has no one to talk to. Think she spends most of her time in the city to be honest! Maybe we’ll bump into her today!”, Mary-Beth laughed. Cathryn helped park the wagon along the road and led Mary-Beth to the bookstore that her and Dutch walked past. It had a whole array of texts that she knew Dutch would love but she settled on the new leather-bound book by Evelyn Miller. She was certain she hadn’t seen Dutch reading this one. Cathryn looked behind her to see Mary-Beth browsing the romance section, she would be a good fit for Arthur, she thought. 

“Ah, Miss Blanchard, a pleasure to see you again.”, Cathryn’s heart stopped when she heard the voice of Angelo Bronte behind her. She turned around slowly to see him surrounded by three guards. His greasy smile made her toes curl. 

“You too, Signor Bronte.”, she replied, trying to stay polite. 

“Where is Dutch van der Linde? He normally doesn’t leave your side.”, he asked, looking around the store. 

“I’m buying a gift for him.”, Bronte laughed and spoke in some Italian to his guards, Cathryn’s jaw clenched, she could only imagine what he was saying. 

“How sweet. Listen, Miss Blanchard, I was hoping that you would come and join me for dinner this evening. It’s a beautiful night and I have the best chef in Saint Denis at my disposal. Have you ever had Italian Food?”, she could tell he was trying to be courteous but the act wouldn’t last long when she rejected him. 

“I’m afraid I haven’t, maybe some other time. I’m busy this evening.”, Bronte’s smile widened. 

“I’ll have to insist.”, Cathryn’s hold around the books tightened. “Good, so it’s decided.”, he stated, looking towards his guards. “If you’ll come with me Miss Blanchard?”, he asked, offering her his arm as he pointed to the carriage outside of the bookstore. Cathryn looked back to Mary-Beth who was watching the entire thing. 

“Of course, Signor Bronte. Let me just say goodbye to my friend.”, Angelo nodded, though she caught a glimpse of an eye-roll when she turned away. “I’m off to Angelo Bronte’s mansion, Mary-Beth. Give Dutch and Arthur my regards.”, Mary-Beth seemed to get the message and walked out of the book-store. Cathryn turned to Bronte with a smile on her face, “Now, what did you say about the best food in Saint Denis?”


	39. Suffocation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: attempted rape

Despite Angelo Brontes insistence that Cathryn join him this evening, he wasn’t in a very talkative mood on their way to his mansion. Instead he preferred to converse and joke in Italian to the men around him, which made Cathryn largely uncomfortable. Once or twice she would catch him staring at her for too long, it was always followed by a remark to his men, no doubt about her. Still, Cathryn remained silent, her mind focusing on staying alive until Dutch managed to get her. She could only imagine his reaction when Mary-Beth revealed what happened, he was already in a delicate state, this could send him over the edge. She looked at the hands in her lap, fiddling with her fingers, pulled back into reality when the carriage stopped in front of the large mansion that backed onto a lake. 

“What do you think of my home, Miss Blanchard?”, Bronte asked, gesturing to the lavish building in front of her. 

“It’s very beautiful, what do you do with all the space?”, she asked, genuinely curious. After all, it was only Bronte and his servants that lived there. She was surprised he had not married or had children; he was past the age most people would start. Then again, this man looked like he only held love for items and possessions, things that did not feel. 

“I mostly bask in its beauty, what is the point in having all this money if you cannot show it off?”, he said, a large grin on his face. He then offered his hand to Cathryn and helped her out of the carriage. They walked through the front gardens and into the main hall, a huge crystal chandelier took up the entire ceiling. It would be worth a fortune if Dutch wanted to rob it. “You are impressed.”, Bronte stated, Cathryn looked towards him, realising he had been staring at her all this time. 

“Of course, it’s magnificent.”, she answered honestly. 

“I bet you see nothing like this with those dirty yankees you live with. Just shit and mud and swamp!”, he laughed, Cathryn smiled politely. She didn’t want to anger him too much, she was in a vulnerable position, and she had no idea when Dutch would come for her. 

“Sometimes there’s beauty in the outdoors, on a clear night when the sky is filled with stars. It’s almost like Gods own crystal chandelier.”, Bronte thought for a moment, nodding, as if he agreed with her. 

“A religious woman?”, he asked, lighting a cigar. 

“Not really, though I don’t rule anything out.”, Bronte laughed, smoke seeping from his mouth. 

“Very good, very good. I like you Miss Blanchard; I see there is more to you than meets the eye! I have some last-minute business to attend to but my servant will take you to a room where you can bathe and change for dinner.”, Cathryn nodded to herself, looking towards the servant he was gesturing to. He then took her hand and kissed it lightly. “as beautiful as ever...”, with that he turned away and down one of the several corridors. Cathryn took a deep sigh then looked towards the servant, this particular one looked quite timid. 

“I must warn you miss, if you try and leave the guards will stop you at the gates.”. Ah, Cathryn thought, there was the threat. She was wondering if Bronte was too arrogant to not try and make precautions. Cathryn nodded and followed the servant up two flights of stairs and down a long hallway. A door was then opened to reveal a luxurious bed-room, she could only imagine how many of these rooms he had in this house. 

“Thank you...”, Cathryn said, hoping that the servant would leave her alone. 

“The bathroom is through that door and your clothing for this evening is hanging up in the wardrobe. Do you need assistance?”, Cathryn shook her head and before the servant could say another word she stepped into the room and shut the door behind her. Annoyingly, there wasn’t a lock this side of the door. She would just have to hope that Bronte was more of a gentleman than Dutch was when it came to her privacy. Her first move was to check for any open windows but when she ran to the large bay window that looked over the lake, she found it to be locked, and after a brief scurry she found no key anywhere. In emergencies she could break the window but it was a three story drop onto land, if it didn’t kill her then she would be badly injured. 

“Fuck sake...”, Cathryn sighed to herself as she looked out the window. How was Dutch going to get past all these guards? She was trying to be realistic; she knew Bronte only wanted her for one thing. How long could she hold on until he decided enough was enough? Men like Bronte were never patient, she just hoped it wouldn’t come to his guards holding her down. Cathryn then turned to the wardrobe, looking at the dress inside. It was a deep red dress, the colour of thick blood. It was also quite revealing, even to Saint Denis standards. The corset looked to be tight and low cut, the material was so thin and soft she was certain it would leave little to the imagination. Cathryn shut her eyes, trying to hold it together. Oh yes, Bronte intended for her to be his whore for tonight, or longer if he so deemed it. She decided she was going to try and drag this out as long as she could, give Dutch all the time he needed. Hopefully that would be enough. 

Cathryn stepped into the hot water that had been prepared for her, the oils were incredibly strong, almost intoxicating. The scent with the thick heavy air made breathing almost difficult, it was a humid nightmare and she couldn’t even open the small window. Regardless, she dropped all her clothes and submerged herself. The water was hot, almost too hot, it felt like it was scalding away all of her worn skin. She could tell why some people would love it, but for her, the tough skin was to survive. It almost felt like she was being ripped apart. After washing her hair and dousing it with the lotions provided, she tied it up in a towel whilst she began to scrub her skin. The water was still hot by the time she got out and the cool air when she got back into the bedroom was a huge relief. 

She sat in one of the arm-chairs for a while, letting her body naturally dry itself as she browsed the bookshelf in the corner of the room. It had several books she had never heard of before and so decided to read through one whilst her hair was drying. She was so engrossed that she didn’t hear the first knock at the door, but by the third she had her hand on the handle. She was filled with disappointment when she saw the timid servant at the door, she had hoped, deep down, it would be Dutch. 

“Just checking up on you Miss Blanchard.”, the servant said, Cathryn tightened the robe around her body. 

“I’m fine, just got out of the bath.”, she knew she was being curt and the servant probably didn’t deserve it but Cathryn just wanted some time to herself. 

“Then I can help dress you, you’ll need help with the corset.”, Cathryn looked back over to the dress, sighing as she knew she was right and nodded, moving aside for the girl to come in. 

“Does Signor Bronte have many female guests stay?”, Cathryn asked curiously, she needed to make sure this obsession was a short-lived thing should Dutch not come in time. 

“Sometimes...”, the servant said, unsure whether to say more or not. “they don’t usually get such a nice room or meal though.”, Cathryn nodded, at least he put some effort in with her. She began to strip, changing into a new set of underwear that had been provided and the servant began to dress her up. 

“How long do you reckon I’ll be staying then Miss...?”, Cathryn asked, hoping to get a name from the girl. 

“Miss Carroway.”, the girl replied. “But you can call me Sylvia.”, Cathryn smiled, hopefully she was getting somewhere with this girl. If she was lucky, she may have another way out, if she could ensure the girls safety. “I’m not sure in all honesty...oh sorry!”, she squeaked when Cathryn groaned at the corset. “He’s not a very predictable man, some stay for an hour, others stay for a few weeks.”, Cathryn closed her eyes, hoping that the latter option was not hers. 

“Great...”, Cathryn winced as the corset went even tighter. She felt Sylvia pull away to inspect her handiwork and then helped Cathryn sit down to style her hair. “Any tips to prolong it as long as possible?”, Cathryn asked nonchalantly, watching Sylvia quickly look towards the door, making sure they weren't heard. 

“He likes to talk about himself, you could ask for a tour but that could go badly. You don’t want to make him angry...” 

“Have you made him angry?”, Cathryn asked, watching as Sylvia nodded, looking down to the floor in shame. Cathryn patted Sylvias hand and turned around to look at her. “Do you have family? Or are you alone?” 

“No family, I had a fiancé but then Signor Bronte gave me a job. Jack was scared off to say the least...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“If you helped me escape then I could get you back with Jack, help you start a new life away from Saint Denis.”, Sylvias eyes lit up, then immediately looked back to the floor. 

“No, no you couldn’t. Bronte is too powerful, there’s too many guards. Unless...”, she thought for a moment. “Usually after dinner, Bronte always has a cigar, but he hates when women smell of smoke. So, he may ask you to wait for him in the house. I could meet with you by the gardens, there’s a huge lake there. If it’s dark we may be able to sneak around the bank, but if we got caught...”, Sylvia whimpered, her hands shaking as she brushed through Cathryn’s hair. 

“We won’t.”, Cathryn promised. “Believe me, I’m not stranger to being stealthy. I’ll meet you in the garden, I’ll figure out something when we get there.”, Sylvia nodded and went on to apply some make-up. It seemed Bronte wanted her hair down and lips to match her dress. She definitely didn’t look like herself anymore. 

*** 

“You are a vision!”, Bronte exclaimed as she joined him in the dining room, he kissed her hand softly. He then led her to the opposite end of the table. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about him touching her during her meal. “A woman like you should be shown off! Not hidden under commoner clothing!”, he said, throwing his hands in the air. 

“The dress is beautiful, Signor Bronte. Thank you for your hospitality.”, she said softly. 

“The pleasure is all mine...”, he said, leering at her chest. Cathryn’s breasts were pushed up incredibly due to the corset. If Dutch saw her then he would probably have a heart attack. “Now!”, he said, as if to shake her from his mind. “How about some Italian food? Best in the world and made by the finest chefs in Saint Denis, as promised.”, Cathryn smiled, and followed his lead when he decided to make a toast to her beauty. The food was then brought in, she was told there would be several courses. Bronte would laugh and mock her when she used the wrong item of cutlery or lecture her when she didn’t know what she was eating, it was very embarrassing. The food was no longer appetizing to her, she just wanted to leave. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much...”, Cathryn said after the fifth course. Bronte chuckled, as if she were a small pet to be watched in amusement. 

“You can’t be full already! We have dessert and coffee left, they are the best part!”, Cathryn nodded, conceding that she must eat more. The dessert was a rich cake that made Cathryn want to throw up, her stomach was so heavy now. The only thing she did seem to like was the coffee, it was smoother and tastier than the coffee she would normally have. It could also have been that it was the final meal. 

“That was an... experience, Signor Bronte. I shall have to tell the others of Italian cooking.”, Bronte stiffened as she mentioned the others. 

“Ah, Dutch van der Linde being one of them?”, Cathryn paused, scared to say the wrong thing so just nodded. “I have to say, he is quite the specimen. He scrubs up well, but a well-dressed man who hides being a yankee is probably even more disgusting than a normal yankee. He has the opportunity and ability to change and yet he does not!”, Bronte laughed. “I bet he’s like a caveman, right? I’ve seen the way he touches you, the way he looks at me when I look at you.”, Cathryn gritted her teeth, wanting Bronte to move on. “Maybe though, for the right price he would be accommodating?”, Cathryn’s heart began to hammer as she saw him stand up from the table, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Slowly, he walked around the table until he came behind Cathryn, his clammy hands resting on her shoulders, rubbing slowly. “How valuable are you to him? I’m sure I could make it worth his while.” 

“He’d kill you first.”, Cathryn swore, the idea of Dutch allowing Bronte to use her for money made her sick. She knew he would never do such a thing, hopefully if Bronte understood he would leave her alone. Bronte just laughed. 

“Let him try. I always get what I want. He can either take my money or watch me take you as he dies slowly. No one says no to me, my dear.”, he leant down to run his nose along her neck when she grabbed the last piece of cutlery on the table, a small teaspoon, and tried to jam it in his eye. He yelled out in pain, grasping his eye, whilst Cathryn went to run for the garden. “Stop her!”, she heard Bronte yell out and Cathryn was immediately faced with two guards, blocking the garden entrance. She saw Sylvia behind them, her eyes full of sorrow. Cathryn looked around and found a small door to the side that looked like the servant’s entrance, she ran into it, locking the door behind her. There was no time to waste, she needed to get out of here now. When she found the stairway that led upstairs, a small smile graced her lips. She climbed up them quickly, hoping to find a balcony or an unsuspecting guard who had a gun, sadly she found neither. When she reached the top floor, she ran through the hallway, settling on a large room with a huge window. Cathryn looked down from the window to see she could easily jump and land on some roof, there was also a large tree in the distance. She could make that if her dress wasn’t so restrictive, but what choice did she have. 

When surveying her escape route, Cathryn noticed from the corner of her eye, a small group of figures in the garden. It couldn’t be, she thought. No, it had to be them. Cathryn opened the window, no longer caring if her cover was blown, it would mean the guards would stop their searching. It meant that Dutch could have a chance finding her. 

“Bronte! You piece of shit! It’s Cathryn! You want me, come and get me!”, she screamed into the night air. She saw the guards turn towards her and they immediately left the garden, leaving the gang free to enter without causing a disturbance. It also meant that Dutch would see she was definitely alive and kicking, hopefully Bronte would keep her here. 

“You little bitch!”, she heard Bronte spit as he came into the room. “How dare you disrespect me, attack me! I could have given you everything! You’d have wanted for nothing, you yankee whore!” 

“Maybe I wanna be a yankee whore? I wouldn’t touch your dirty money for anything, and neither will Dutch.”, she threw the closest vase to him which he dodged out of the way from, grabbing her and tackling her to the bed. That was when she heard the gunshots, it was starting, Dutch was coming for her. 

“Is that him now? He’ll be dead soon and no one will come to save you.”, he spat in her ear. “I will ruin you. Then I will give you to my men? How does that sound?”, Cathryn wrestled with him, her dress restricting her movements. 

“Peachy.”, she groaned, elbowing him in the nose. He began to swear in Italian, giving her room to get up but then pulling her back down. He began to bunch her skirts up to her waist, she kicked out, the gunshots were getting louder. His hand slapped down on her backside, causing her to scream out. “Fuck off you slimy piece of shit!”, she screamed. That was when the door burst open to reveal Dutch, John and Arthur. Bronte looked shocked, grabbing for his gun and then swearing when he realised it was empty. Cathryn turned over, panting heavily, thankful this ordeal was over. 

“Name your price...”, he said, his voice trembling. “Every man has a price!”, Dutch looked over Cathryn noticing her tight clothes, her messed up hair, her stained makeup. John stalked over to Bronte, “No please! I surrender, I surrender, I surrender!”, he was knocked out when John hit him in the face. John turned to Cathryn, offering her his hand, Cathryn accepted. 

“Thank you.”, she said softly. Dutch came over to her, his hand softly gliding over her cheek. 

“You’re okay?”, he asked, she nodded quickly. “Let’s take him outside.”, Arthur picked up Bronte and the four of them made their way down the stairs and out the house, shooting the rest of the guards as they went. Dutch grabbed Cathryn, keeping her close the entire ride out, as they ran towards the docks. “Put him in the front.”, he ordered Arthur as he helped Cathryn get into the boat, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her. 

“Thank you.”, she said, hoping for a small smile but she got nothing. The rest of the men got into the boat and began to row away. When they were far enough from shore, Dutch reached over and slapped Bronte to wake him up. 

“Hey big man.”, he said, a smile on his face. “So, now we figure out what to do with you. I reckon I would have been happy with a ransom but then you had to take my girl...” 

“You’re pathetic.”, Bronte spat, acting as if he were untouchable despite being in a boat with no one but his enemies. 

“Oh, I am?”, Dutch asked. “Cause from where I’m sitting, you are the one that deserves pity. All your men, all your money, were no match for a bunch of bumpkins...”, he said softly, as though talking to a child. Cathryn watched the fear grow in Brontes face, Dutch was more terrifying the calmer he was. 

“You are nothing. You do nothing. You mean nothing. You stand for nothing. Me? I run a city and when the law catches up to you, you will die like nothing.”, he hissed, Cathryn saw Dutch’s eyes darken, the same look he had in Black-water. “I am this country! You are what people are running from!” 

“I possess things that you will never understand...” 

“Didn’t stop me from taking your whore though, did it? And it won’t stop your men now. A thousand dollars to whichever man kills him!”, Bronte shouted, pointing to Dutch, but no one made a move. There wasn’t a flicker of hesitation in anyone's eyes, they were loyal to Dutch. 

“What now?”, Dutch asked, laughing as he looked around. 

“They are even bigger fools than you!”, Bronte said, backing up towards the edge of the boat. 

“Oh, no doubt.”, Dutch smirked. 

“The law will find you eventually. When they do, they’ll kill every last one of you. Even your dumb whore...”, Dutch clenched his fists. 

“Oh, I’m sure they’ll be hunting us like dogs. But that doesn’t change the fact that you need to be punished, you tried to steal from me. You tried to take the woman I love and I won’t let you get away with that.” Dutch then grabbed Bronte by the collar of his velvet robe and pulled him up and over the boat, dunking his head under the swampy waters. “You think your friends are gonna rescue you, you think the Pinkertons are gonna save you in time? You dirty, repulsive little maggot!”, he lifted Bronte back up in the air before dunking him under again. Cathryn could only watch in shock and horror at Dutch’s spite while Arthur and John stood up, watching and looking for a way to stop Dutch. “You think you’re so powerful, you think you can steal from me! She is mine! I’ll kill anyone that gets in the way! Call them now!”, Dutch shouted. 

“Dutch...”, Cathryn said, her voice trembling in fear as she saw him unravel, but he didn’t stop. No one could stop Dutch, not even when the bubbles stopped. Dutch then pulled away, watching as Bronte hung limp over the boat, he was dead. Dutch looked up as he saw a large form floating in the distance and then threw Bronte overboard. It was then that Cathryn saw the Alligator curl around Bronte and begin to devour him. The water in the swamp turning from green to red. 

“Jesus.”, John exclaimed, “What part of your philosophy book covers feeding a fella to a goddamn alligator, Dutch?”, Cathryn looked over to Arthur, thinking about Dutch’s words to Bronte. If he knew what Arthur had done, had said, she was certain now that Arthur would be gone. 

“The part that covers weakness...”, Dutch said, glancing over to Cathryn, paying no attention to the fear in her eyes. 

“Really?”, John asked, Cathryn looked over to John. She had never seen him so vocal against Dutch, this wasn’t the best time. 

“Really. I won’t hear no more about this.”, Dutch then went to sit back next to Cathryn, wrapping his arm around her and kissing her on the temple. “It’s either us or him, I will choose us every single time. I would hope you would all do the same.”, no one could argue with Dutch then. “We’ll burn that dress when we get back.”, Dutch promised, whispering in Cathryn’s ear, she couldn’t be more relieved. She just wanted to forget this day had ever happened.


	40. Sensitivities

“Here, put this on...”, Dutch said, passing Cathryn a new night dress. He hadn’t looked at her fully since he found her at Brontes manor. She had no idea if he was angry or nervous, but it put her on edge around him. Especially since he fed Bronte to the Alligator on their ride home. 

“Thank you.”, she said softly, watching as he turned around whilst she changed out of the tight red dress and into the oversized gown he had given her. Normally he would have sat back and watched with delight but tonight he gave her some space. “You can turn around now.”, she said, touching his shoulder lightly. He turned; his eyes looked empty. “Dutch, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m sorry.”, he said, looking at her. “I should have been there, I should have stopped him.”, he began to sputter, Cathryn put her fingers to his lips. 

“There was nothing you could have done...”, Dutch looked around, his jaw clenched as if he was trying not to speak. 

“Did he...”, he started and then paused, she could tell he didn’t want to ask the question. “Did he touch you?” 

“No. You got to me just in time.”, Dutch sighed, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He pulled her in tightly, kissing the top of her head. 

“Thank God.”, they stood there for a moment, holding each other as the moonlight came through the windows. Cathryn pulled away gently, reaching up and touching the wound on Dutch’s head. Ms. Grimshaw had managed to stop the bleeding, but it would scar. 

“How’s the head?”, Dutch tried to laugh it off but he wasn’t in much of a mood to put on his mask. 

“Feels like crap. I’m sorry for earlier, I was just so disorientated.”, Cathryn stroked his cheek gently, he looked at her with nothing but love in his eyes. “I just needed you, needed to be around you. Sometimes you are the only thing that keeps my heart beating.”, Cathryn paused, she never realised just how deeply Dutch was in love with her. It was hard to understand with his boisterous, confident nature how truly sensitive he was. 

“Well, I’m all yours now.”, and she meant it. Every word. He smiled softly and put his hands up, running his thumbs down her jawline and pulled her in for a soft kiss. “How about we head off to sleep?”, she asked, stroking his hair. “I think we’ve all had a long day.”, Dutch nodded, pulling her close to him as they climbed onto the bed. He held her all night, stroking the fine hairs on her arm, hoping tomorrow would be a better day. 

*** 

Cathryn woke up to see Dutch out of bed and already changed, he sat down next to her and began stroking her hair softly. She mumbled, smiling as she saw his kind eyes, but wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. 

“Come on sweetheart...the days started...”, he whispered, pushing her knees upwards and kissing each of them gently. 

“But I’m tired...come back to bed Dutch...”, she heard him laugh under his breath as she closed her eyes once more, slowly drifting off. She felt the skirt of her night-gown slowly ride up her legs and fall down to her waist. The warm air coming into contact with her sex. She peeped one eye open to see Dutch staring at the newly revealed portion of her body. 

“Spread them for me sweetheart.”, he ordered, but his voice was so gentle that it didn’t sound demanding at all. She slowly spread her legs, trying to hide her smile with her left arm. The feel of his nose on her clit made her jolt but he held her pelvis down with his hands. “Shhh, sweetheart. Let’s have a nice quiet morning.”, he whispered against her hot skin. Cathryn nodded, her cheeks bright red as she felt him breathing on her. 

“Dutch!”, she squeaked as his tongue flicked her clit once, then twice. He shushed her again, this time more stern before returning to his ministrations. He began to explore her with his tongue, every crevice was given the upmost care and no inch was missed by his hot mouth. Once he seemed to grasp which parts were the most sensitive, he held her down hard and buried his face between her legs. Cathryn bit her hand to stop herself from screaming as she felt Dutch lap up the juices that were coming from her, his tongue flicking her clit constantly. 

“Fuck you taste incredible...”, he whispered before nibbling on her clit. Cathryn jolted upwards, arching her back but Dutch just pushed her back down with a firm hand. 

“Dutch, please.”, she began to beg quietly, she was trying so hard to stay silent for him, but every time his tongue flicked her clit she felt the need to scream. She felt herself build quickly, her vision going hazy as she began to shake in his grasp. She grabbed the hair on his head, needing something to anchor herself as she began to cum violently on his tongue. Dutch continued to lap at her cunt, causing her to convulse. When the contractions finally died down and she slumped on the bed, he looked up from between her thighs, a wet smirk on his face. He wiped his mouth and chin with his right hand, licking each finger, as if he didn’t want to miss a single drop, then stood up. 

“Now are you gonna get up?”, Cathryn nodded quickly, hiding her red face which just made Dutch laugh. “Good. We’re going to plan a big bank robbery for tomorrow, it will be our last score.”, he promised. Cathryn sat up suddenly, he seemed serious with this, she only hoped it would end better than the trolley incident. “We want this to be a big group effort and so a lot of the gang are going to participate. I want you to be there, by my side.”, he proposed, holding his hand out for her. 

“Then what?”, she asked, full of curiosity. 

“Then we can go wherever you like. You and me...”, he squeezed her hand tightly. “Forget everyone else.”, Cathryn nodded and stood up with his help, though her legs were still shaking. They would be in it together until the end.


	41. Goodbye

“I’m telling you Dutch, this is the way to do this job.”, Cathryn heard Hosea say as she walked into what would have been the old manor dining room. Arthur was already there listening intently, but Cathryn could tell his head just wasn’t in the game. Hosea and Dutch must have been having some sort of argument. “The distraction will buy you all the time you need.”, Dutch looked over to her as she walked in the room, a small smile on his face. But as quickly as it came, it went. He looked over the plans Hosea had in front of him and rubbed his face as though he hadn’t slept well in days. 

“I...I don’t like it.”, he sighed, knowing full well that it would anger Hosea. Hosea sighed, he was trying to keep it together. 

“Look. The bank.”, he pointed to the map. “Karen, Tilly, Abigail, I sent them all. They all say the same thing, there’s no more than one armed guard. And the police, well there are police cause it’s a city. But as far as we can tell, the patrols will all be going this way when Abigail and I cause a diversion.”, he gestured some movements on the map, Arthur watching intently. She could see the cogs winding in Dutch’s head, but he was still unsure. “That is the opportunity!” 

“What do you think Arthur?”, Dutch asked, pulling his seat back and lazily turning his head to Arthurs direction. 

“Well, I don’t see we have a lot of choice.”, he said, shrugging softly. “We linger around here, then we’re dead.”, Dutch looked forward, nodding his head. 

“But the plan?”, Dutch asked. 

“We’ve got a decent bunch and we know how to fight.”, Arthur reasoned. “The city cops don’t seem too tough either. We just need to move fast. I agree with Hosea. Do it in the day, with a distraction, it’s as good a time as any.”, Dutch nodded, then looked towards Cathryn. 

“What about you, my dear?”, he asked softly, he wanted to know if this was the right decision. Cathryn stepped forward, looking at the map. 

“If Hosea thinks it’s the right way then I trust him.”, Cathryn said, smiling at Hosea, who squeezed her shoulder in return. Dutch sighed but after a while agreed to the proposed plan. 

“Every plan is a good plan if executed properly!”, Hosea exclaimed. Dutch nodded but Cathryn could tell his mind was somewhere else. He looked like he felt cornered, trapped. As if he couldn’t say anything else. She had noticed these strange behaviours ever since the trolley heist. “Every problem we had was because we did not execute properly, even Blackwater.”, Dutch looked to the floor. 

“You’re right.”, Dutch agreed, standing up and placing a hand on the small of Cathryn’s back. “Let’s rob this bastard.”, he pulled her close and kissed hard on her left temple. “Everyone, get ready. Look smart and travel light.” 

*** 

Cathryn was finishing putting her hair in a bun with the help of Abigail when Arthur came out of the manor in his fine clothes. John made some sort of joke which caused Arthur to almost push him to the ground and everyone laughed. Hopefully these good spirits would lead to success. 

“You finished preening Arthur?”, Dutch asked with a small chuckle, Arthur just nodded. 

“So, we rob ourselves a bank!”, Hosea stated, getting up on the carriage. “Then in six weeks we’re living life anew in a tropical idyll!”, Cathryn jumped when she felt Dutch squeeze her waist suddenly, she turned to smile at him and he kissed her softly on the lips. 

“A new life...”, he whispered, only to her. She nodded in agreement and joined him, saddling up on their horses and riding alongside the rest of the gang. “Crack that whip, Mr. Matthews!”, Dutch cried and everyone shouted, whooping and celebrating. Something felt different this time, it was their first heist as a large group. “This is it gentlemen! The last one!” 

“Where have we heard that before?”, John mumbled, Cathryn watched Dutch twitch as he heard the comment. 

“What has happened to you John? You lost all your heart.”, Dutch almost spat. Cathryn sighed, first she had to worry about Dutch and Arthur, now it seemed she had to worry about Dutch and John. Was there never any peace in this camp? 

“I’m just trying to stay real about all of this!”, John exclaimed, sounding like a teenager rebelling against his father. 

“Real? Oh, how I detest that word. So devoid of imagination!”, thankfully Bill managed to cut in before John could say another word and the next moment the men were talking about travelling far away from here. 

“What about the money in Blackwater? We just gonna leave it behind?”, Micah asked. 

“Forget that. It’s gone.”, Dutch said with a sense of finality. “You all talk like it’s the only goddamn money in the world! We’re gonna take that and more, take it from the people who take it from us! This isn’t some hick town, hundred dollar operation. This is a big city bank.” 

“Yeah and there’s gonna be police and guards...”, John complained. 

“We have a plan!”, Dutch shouted, causing Cathryn to flinch. “One last time am I gonna explain it to you. Hosea and Abigail will draw out the police, we go in calm and fast. John and Lenny, secure the front doors. Javier takes the side exit. Bill, Micah and Charles control the crowd. Me, Cathryn and Arthur deal with the bank manager and vault, got it?”, there was a mumble of agreement. Hosea and Abigail then went further along while the rest of the gang slowed down to give them time to cause the distraction, when Dutch rode faster to talk to Bill, Micah and Charles, Cathryn slowed down to speak to Arthur and John. 

“Hey, everything alright John?”, Cathryn asked, he was getting incredibly vocal of late. John sighed but nodded. 

“Just heard this too many times before, and I don’t like Abigail being out here with us. If something happened to me then that’s fine, but what if it’s her. Who looks after Jack?”, he asked to no one in particular. 

“You both will be fine. Look, if things don’t go the way we plan then I promise I will stop at nothing to get to Jack. You trust me?”, John regarded her for a moment then nodded. He knew she would look after Jack. 

*** 

They pulled up next to the Lemoyne bank, the air was heavy and everyone in the street seemed lethargic. It was as good a day as any to rob a bank. When they hitched up and came down from their horses, they gathered in a small group to wait for Hoseas distraction. 

“Gentlemen, robbing thieves is no crime at all. Folk like this, they stole what this country could have been.”, Dutch pulled Cathryn to him and kissed the top of her head. For a brief moment she felt nothing but peace and comfort, she felt so safe. That was until a large explosion shook the streets of Saint Denis, causing Cathryn to flinch and cling onto Dutch. He chuckled, kissing her softly before gesturing to the others that it was time. “God, I love Hosea.”, he said, leading the way as they walked towards the bank. The street was deserted as everyone ran towards the blast. The gang went round the side of the bank and burst through the doors, weapons drawn and aimed at everyone. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen. This is a hold up! Don’t do nothing stupid!”, Cathryn aimed her shotgun towards a woman in finery, gesturing for her to get on the ground. Arthur shot a bullet into the air and everyone got on the floor. Micah laughed as he watched them tremble in fear, it caused shivers to run up her back. “Okay Arthur, would you please have signor bank manager open up the vault?”, Arthur nodded and walked over to the manager of the bank, grabbing him by the arm and shoving him towards the vault. He quickly began working his way through the door, with everyone watching him. 

“We don’t got all day!”, Arthur shouted, shooting the vault by his leg. The man almost screamed and worked even faster. When the vault was open, Arthur and Cathryn walked into the main room, “What’s the combination?”, he shouted. Cathryn heard Bill shout out the combination as she quickly moved the dial for the safe. 

“I’m in!”, she shouted, opening the door and Dutch ran to her, his hand on her back. 

“Would you look at that!”, he exclaimed, “So proud of you, my girl!”, he praised, helping her get the money in the bag whilst Arthur started on the second safe. 

“We got trouble!”, John shouted from the main room. “It’s the law.”, Dutch and Arthur swore under their breath and made their way into the main room, Dutch’s hand was fused to Cathryn’s waist. They went to the front windows and peered out. It wasn’t just the law, it was the Pinkertons. 

“They have Abigail!”, John stated. 

“And Hosea...”, Cathryn whimpered. “Dutch, they have Hosea!”, she said, tugging his arm. He looked at her briefly and then back onto the street. Agent Milton came out of the crowd, dragging Hosea out in front of him, a gun to his head. 

“Dutch van der Linde! Get out here!”, Agent Milton shouted. 

“Someone must have squealed.”, Dutch said, Cathryn could tell he was starting to lose control. 

“Shouldn’t have gone after Bronte...”, John mumbled, glaring at Dutch. She watched Dutch falter as he listened to Johns words. She wanted nothing more than to scream at John that this wasn’t the time for such comments but she knew it would just make things worse. 

“Mr. Milton...”, Dutch said, making his way to the front door, Cathryn followed close behind him. “Let my friend go, or folks are gonna die unnecessarily.”, Cathryn could see the threat he was trying to make but this wasn’t like Valentine, there were too many guards out there. Dutch didn’t look threatening, he looked trapped, Milton could see that. 

“Your friend?”, Milton laughed. “Why would I do that? It’s over, no more bargains and no more deals.” 

“Mr. Milton. This is America, you can always cut a deal!”, Dutch shouted, his hands starting to tremble. 

“I’ve given you enough chances.”, Milton sighed as he pushed Hosea forward, giving him enough time to believe he might be free and then shot him in the chest. 

“No!”, Cathryn screamed and without even thinking, ran towards Hosea. Dutch was in such a state of shock that he was unable to grab her. She ran and fell to the floor, holding Hosea in her arms and hugging him tightly. His face splattered with her tears. He looked up, a brief sign of acknowledgement and fear, before his life left his eyes. “No, no no....Hosea. You can’t go...” 

“Oh and look, two for the price of one.”, Milton drawled. Cathryn froze, finally aware of the position she was in. She looked up, seeing the gun that was aimed at her head. Then looked around, to see Dutch outside, staring at her as if she were a dream. She began to cry as she accepted her death and Dutch’s when a shot rang through, shooting Milton in the chest, throwing him enough that she managed to run to a nearby carriage that gave her cover. She watched as Dutch looked at her, so eager to run to her but was dragged back into the bank by Micah. That was when gunfire rang through the streets of Saint Denis. Cathryn had no idea who shot Milton but it saved her life, and most likely Dutch’s, she would be grateful for as long as she lived. 

“Kill them all!”, she heard Dutch scream from the bank, she knew she needed to follow the plan. If anything bad happened then she would need to get back to camp. She wanted nothing more than to help Dutch but it would be a suicide mission with these many guns. As she watched the two sides fight each other, she realised that no one had come to find her and no one would notice if she slipped away. She ran from crate to carriage, making sure she was silent every step of the way. When she reached Rosemary she watched the scene from the bank one last time. It was carnage and she had no idea if any of them would make it back alive but she promised John she would look after Jack and she had no idea where Abigail was. 

“I’m sorry Dutch. I love you.”, she whispered, unsure of whether this was goodbye. Tears streamed down her face as she climbed onto her horse and quickly rode out of Saint Denis. The gunshots could be heard for miles around.


	42. Nightmares

By the time Cathryn had made it to the camp the tears on her cheeks had started to dry, she didn’t know if Dutch would make it back alive but she had the rest of the camp to look after. Everyone looked up at her, confused by her vacant expression but within moments they knew something had gone wrong. 

“Cathryn! Where’s John?”, Cathryn whipped her head around to see Abigail running towards her. Her face was bright red and her hair a mess, she had only just gotten back. Cathryn breathed a sigh of relief knowing that she made it out okay. 

“I need to talk to everyone.”, Cathryn stated, “Everyone gather round!”, slowly, everyone began to congregate around Cathryn. Even Molly was there, more sober than usual. “The bank robbery was a failure, everything was working perfectly but then the cops showed up out of the blue. It must have been a set-up, it was like Black-water all over again.”, she saw the fear spread through the crowd. 

“Where’s Dutch?”, Mr. Pearson asked. 

“I don’t know.”, Cathryn said, her eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry everyone, but we lost Hosea.”, the pain within the group was contagious, Ms. Grimshaw had to turn around, holding back the tears for a friend she had known for decades. “I only just managed to get away, John made me promise to get back to Jack and we had no idea if you got away Abigail...”, Cathryn glanced towards Abigail, mouthing her apologies. 

“What do we do now then?”, Karen asked, looking around the camp. Everyone then looked towards Cathryn for guidance, they had no idea what to do. 

“We need to wait for a couple of days, give them enough time to come back. After things have cooled down then we can send a small team into Saint Denis, get a scope of what happened. However, maybe we should also start packing up just in case we run into anymore bad luck. If someone wants to try scoping for an area we can hide that would be incredible.”, everyone seemed more at ease now that they had a plan. Ms. Grimshaw immediately went to helping pack up the camp, only necessities were allowed to be out. 

“I can help find a place Cathryn.”, Sadie stated, putting herself forward. Cathryn nodded, patting a hand on her shoulder. Sadie knew how to take care of herself, she was the best person for the job. 

“Thank you, Sadie. It should be far but not too far in case the others return. Somewhere the Pinkertons would never expect to find us.”, Sadie nodded full of spirit, making her way to her horse and leaving camp. 

“I can ride out with a couple of the girls tomorrow Cathryn.”, Uncle offered, for the first time since she had met him. She could tell that he was nervous and wanted to help put everyone at ease. Cathryn smiled, nodding her head. 

“Thank you, Uncle. I appreciate it, I want no crime to happen whilst you are gone though. Strict surveillance and pick up any resources we might need for the coming days.”, Uncle nodded and made his way over to Karen, Tilly and Mary-Beth to talk of the plan. Abigail was the last to come to Cathryn. 

“Are you okay?”, Abigail asked, her voice soft as if Cathryn were a wild mare. Cathryn shook her head, trying to combat the tears. 

“There were so many cops Abigail. I held Hosea whilst he was dying...”, her voice was starting to shake. Abigail quickly turned her away from the others and held her tightly in her arms. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay.”, Abigail cooed, “You did so well.”, Cathryn nodded. “Dutch is a man incapable of death Cathryn. If anyone is gonna find a way to survive, it’s him. Just give him time to make a plan and he will be home before you know it.”, Cathryn nodded, wiping the tears away from her eyes. 

“How did you get away?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Once we set up the bomb, Hosea just had this feeling that something was gonna go wrong. He made me hide before he detonated it and I watched them take him away. Like you said, it was as if they knew all along. If I had known they were going to kill him... I would have tried to stop them...” 

“If you had tried to stop them, Jack may have lost a mother...”, Abigail looked towards Jack and nodded, she knew the price would have been paid. 

*** 

Every hour that Dutch had not returned left an even larger weight on Cathryn’s heart. It had been two days since the bank robbery and there was no sign of them. Cathryn tried to help the camp as much as she could but when she was alone, she would just sit and stare at the ground, trying so hard not to cry. It was especially difficult at night-time. Her sleep was filled with nightmares of Dutch and Arthur, watching them hang. She dreamt of Hosea and his eyes after the bullet hit his vital organs. When she managed to rouse herself from those dreams, she kept herself awake, too afraid to try and rest. 

“Uncle and the girls are back...”, Abigail said softly, watching as Cathryn stared at nothing in particular. Cathryn looked up quickly and then ran downstairs with Abigail. Her and Jack had been staying in the spare room that Hosea once occupied, Arthurs old room taken by Uncle. 

“What happened?”, Cathryn asked as she watched everyone take a step off the wagon. Uncle sighed, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. 

“Well, good news is that the majority of them managed to get away. No one knows how but they reckon they took a boat...”, Cathryn breathed a huge sigh of relief, they were alive. That was all that mattered. “Not all of them made it through. John, he’s been taken in by the Pinkertons, they have him locked up in some prison. And Lenny, well he didn’t make it.”, Abigail began to pace, if they had John then that could mean he may be up for execution. 

“We have to save John.”, Abigail begged. 

“I know we do, but we don’t have the power to do it right now. If I send people into a prison it will be a suicide mission, we need to wait for everything to calm down. If the men are still alive, they will come back and we can get John. I promise you he won’t die in their custody.”, Abigail nodded, tears streaming down her face. 

“Anyway to get Hosea and Lennys bodies? They’ll need a proper burial.”, Cathryn asked Uncle. 

“Maybe, we’ll have to do some searching but I’m sure we could find them.”, Cathryn thanked Uncle, hugging him tightly. 

*** 

“Why aren’t they back yet?”, Cathryn asked Ms. Grimshaw as they drank their coffee. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t like it. As sad as it is, we can’t just wait for them to show up because we know they escaped. Who knows where they are by now, or if they come back.”, Ms. Grimshaw sniffed. 

“What do you mean? Of course, they will come back...”, Ms. Grimshaw sighed and looked softly at Cathryn. 

“I know Dutch loved you. But if he doesn’t believe it’s safe to come back then he will stick with his gut. Dutch knows how to survive, it’s what he’s good at. I’ll admit, you two have had the strongest relationship out of all of his affairs. But a leopard doesn’t change his spots.”, Cathryn clenched her fists as she furrowed her brows. 

“Sounds like jealousy to me.”, Ms. Grimshaw whipped around and stood up quickly. 

“Now you are acting stupid. That man is more trouble than he is worth, I want none of it. What I do want is for everyone in this camp to be safe and away from those Pinkertons. That means we need to move, not just sit back and hope that Dutch finally returns!”, she stormed out into camp, Cathryn fell back onto the floor. She was right, but could Cathryn bring herself to abandon Dutch again? 

*** 

Sadie arrived back on the fifth day, she looked worn out and tired but the small smile on her face showed that this hadn’t been a complete disaster. 

“Found something?”, Cathryn asked as Sadie jumped off her horse. 

“Yeah, good spot of land, away from civilization but near a small village. Bad news, it’s in the swamps.”, Cathryn grimaced, it would have to do. “Had to fight some people for it but they’re all gone. I’m ready to move when you are.” 

“You need to rest.”, Cathryn said. 

“No, we need to leave. We’ve overstayed our welcome.”, Cathryn looked out over the camp, everyone was starting to cope with the losses over the past few days. Moving was the best decision, hopefully it wouldn’t affect them so much. 

“You’re right. We begin to pack now, we’ll move out when it’s dark.”, Sadie nodded and began rounding everybody up. Cathryn took the time to write a small note. 

_‘Dear Uncle Tacitus,_

_I do so hope you enjoyed your vacation. Lucky you! Leaving like that. Any you always suggested you were too old for travel. I hope you and your cousins enjoyed yourselves. Me and your grand nieces have decided to take a trip of our own as the place has become so dreary and godforsaken in your absence. We have gone to visit relatives (from my Daddy’s side. You are not yet acquainted with them) in Lakay, a small village just north of Saint Denis. It’s buggy and muggy but apparently neither is too bad at this time of year. Please come see us when you can._

_Yours sincerely, Caroline.’_

*** 

The swamp was just as muggy as Sadie had described but as soon as the gang had reached Lakay they managed to find a small area, previously held by bandits, and set up camp. Even Molly had begun getting involved, even making small talk with Karen and Tilly. She was still yet to speak properly to Cathryn though she no longer glared like she used to. 

It wasn’t long until everything was in place and Uncle had managed to find the bodies of Hosea and Lenny which were given a proper burial, Cathryn would have loved to bury Hosea by Bessie but it just wasn’t possible. 

“At least you’re back together, where you belong.”, Cathryn whispered as she left some wild-flowers at his grave. The nightmares no longer haunted her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready for the first and only Dutch chapter coming up next?


	43. Snapshots from Guarma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are just snippets from the Guarma chapter, yes I know, I'm just as suprised as you that I managed to fit it all in one chapter. If its a bit clunky then I'm sorry but I didn't want to re-write the game chapter into fiction form, it wouldn't really add anything new. I just wanted some glimpses into Dutch's mind whilst he was away!

Dutch’s first thoughts were of Cathryn when he managed to climb to his feet, the hot sand burning his soles. Of course the ship had to crash when he was barely dressed, it was just his luck as of late. He groaned, rubbing his forehead and watching as his men also gained consciousness. Luckily they had managed to grab a boat, not Arthur though, Dutch hoped to God that he was alive. But there was a small shroud of doubt. He should have listened to Arthur in the first place, shouldn’t have followed Micah onto the boat, now his chance of getting back to Cathryn was close to none. That wouldn’t stop him though, he would spend the rest of his life fighting to get back to her if he had to. 

“You alright Boss?”, Micah asked, staring at him with sand all over his face. Dutch nodded, he still had to remain in control. 

“I’m fine, let’s just rest for a moment. Take some time to get our bearings...”, Micah nodded, everyone else agreeing. Dutch had no idea where they were, first thing they needed to do was identify their surroundings. Then they could form their escape plan. 

*** 

“Arthur...”, Dutch whispered as he watched the man limp his way across the beach. “Arthur!”, he shouted, the man looked their way and, in an instant, Dutch knew it was him. He stood up quickly rushing over to Arthur and embraced him, Arthur was weak and tired, he would need to rest with the others if he were to make it. 

“Dutch...”, Arthur managed to whisper, his voice hoarse from struggling to breath in the seawater. 

“You’re alive...it’s a miracle!”, Suddenly the two were surrounded by everyone, all willing to give Arthur a hand. One extra man meant a higher chance of survival, one more chance to see Cathryn. “Somebody give him a goddamn drink!”, Dutch shouted and immediately Bill offered his waterskin. Arthur chugged it gratefully. Dutch began to help guide Arthur to the little camp they had made, “Take it easy son, we got you.” 

*** 

_“Why are we on this boat Dutch?”, Arthur asked as they gazed out on the rising sun, they hadn’t been caught yet by the captain._

_“You know why.”, Dutch said, looking down on his hands. “Micah said it was the best way...”_

_“Micah don’t know shit!”, Arthur whispered, hoping Micah wasn’t around to hear it. “We could have made it out of Saint Denis, it would have taken more time but this...this is worse.”, Dutch just shook his head, no, he couldn’t have been wrong._

_“No. If we’d managed to get away the Pinkertons would have found her. They would have found all of them, Micah was right. We need to lie low, away from them, just for a while.”, Dutch didn’t know if he believed it, but Micah made it sound so convincing. He was so close to death at that bank, he had run out into the open to get her when he saw the guns on her. In a flash, his best friend had died, why not his love too? Micah was the one to drag him back and Arthur was the one to shoot Milton. Micah was right, Dutch was losing his head over Cathryn. He needed to take a step back._

_“Bullshit. What if they find her now, what if they find all of them and there’s no one to protect them? We left them there Dutch. We need to go back.”, Dutch sighed, glancing to the captain that had just appeared to his left._

_“We’ll head back with the ship when it goes back to the mainland. That’s the best I can do...”._

*** 

Dutch stared at the gun in his hand, happy to have a part of his former life back. At least now they had a plan, a way to get off this god-forsaken island. Cathryn was right, the tropical life was not for him. He wiped some sweat off his brow, wincing at he caught the sunburn on his forehead. The heat here was too intense. 

“Fuck...”, Arthur swore as he batted away more of the pesky bugs that surrounded them. “Managed to get some of those workers back that Hercule wanted. Now it’s just getting Javier back...”, Dutch nodded, another failure of his, leaving Javier to the guards of Guarma. That was one more person he had failed. 

“We better start moving then.”, Dutch said, stretching his body, hearing the bones in his back crack. 

“No need to hurry these things along...”, Micah said, stretching out on the ground. “You need to rest Dutch, you’ve not been sleeping again.”, Micah was right, all his dreams were plagued by Cathryn. As much as he wanted to see her, the sleep wasn’t worth it. Not when all he could hear were her screams. “Look, Cathy will be fine...” 

“Don’t call her that...”, Arthur grumbled, Micah had hit a nerve. Suddenly he was sat up, grinning like it was a game. 

“Why not?” 

“She hates it when you do.” 

“When did she tell you that Arthur? During one of your little private sessions with her?”, Dutch stopped playing with his gun, he wanted to hear what Arthur had to say. 

“Shut up Micah, stop trying to stir shit that ain’t there.”, Dutch glanced up, he wasn’t the only one watching the exchange. 

“I’m just saying you been going out a lot with her, Dutch must have a lot of faith in you two. Cause if it were me, seeing my girl with someone like you, well...I dread to think...” 

“Enough.”, Dutch said. “I don’t wanna hear any more talk of Cathryn till I bring her up. Understand me?”, Arthur and Micah nodded. “Now, let’s go get Javier back...I need to get off this island before I go mad.” 

*** 

“Here’s your money...”, Dutch said, offering the old woman named Gloria the gold he had promised. He didn’t trust her one bit but he needed to get through that cave, needed to help Javier. She began to sniff it, “Oh it’s genuine, you old hag.” 

“Vamos! Vamos!”, she said, leading the way. 

“You know...”, Dutch said, turning to Arthur. “That was my last piece of gold I got from the bank. The rest is all at the bottom of the ocean.”, he didn’t want to say it to Arthur, but all Dutch could think of in his mind was how Hosea had died for nothing. They walked forwards with Glora, Arthur trying to muffle his cough. It was probably still the effects of the seawater. 

“That’s how it goes sometimes.”, Arthur said, “Hey, ever figure out what happened with John at the bank?” 

“He survived.”, Dutch grumbled, “Unlike Hosea and Lenny...Only one they took alive. Why do you think that is?”, there was brief silence, maybe Dutch was going mad but it seemed strange to him why they would keep John alive unless he was of any use. Maybe he had been a source of information all along, he was always speaking against Dutch. Dutch wouldn’t put it past him, if the Pinkertons offered a quiet wealthy life with his family for the destruction of the gang, well if wouldn’t be the craziest thing Dutch has ever heard of. 

“I don’t know, I was on the roof at the time.” 

“Hmm, it just doesn’t seem right...”, Dutch mumbled, he heard Arthur sigh and then turned to him. Suddenly Gloria started to hiss and Dutch made out a literal light at the end of the tunnel. They were there. The two men used their strength to open the metal gate and then all that was left was a rugged ladder to the surface. The old woman ran to the ladder, pointing to it and then holding out her hand. Dutch glanced at it, clearly she was now going back on her word, he only promised her one piece of gold. 

“I want more.”, she grumbled, Dutch went to move her to the side when she pulled a knife out, holding it to his throat. As if by instinct, Dutch grabbed the old woman by the throat. His left hand disarming her. She was going to betray them, the bitch. She was going to go to Fussar and tell everyone they were there. If he didn’t get rid of her now then she would be their downfall, he would never get back to Cathryn. 

“Dutch...”, he heard Arthur say, but it sounded so foggy, as if it wasn’t really his voice. His hands went around her throat, choking her and smashing her head against the ladder. He watched, the world silent as she fell to the floor, cold. 

“What was that?”, Arthur shouted, gesturing to the woman. Dutch flinched, he hadn’t seen Arthur this angry in a long time. 

“She was going to betray us Arthur! I could just tell...don’t you trust me?”, there was silence, Arthur looked to the floor. 

“Are you alright Dutch?”, Dutch blinked, unsure of what to say. No, he wasn’t okay, but he had to be strong for the group. He had to get them all back home. 

“I am trying to make sure some of us survive Arthur.”, his tone must have rubbed Arthur the wrong was for when Arthur budged past him to get up the ladder, Dutch felt his soul drop. “Listen son, you know I didn’t want any of this to happen but I made a pledge to you all that we would survive. I’m doing the best I can...” 

*** 

Despite winning their little war against the Navy, Fussar still held the pieces of the chessboard. There was no way any of them were getting away until he was dead. Dutch looked to Javier who was still wounded from a gunshot wound to the leg, he wasn’t in the best condition to fight but it would have to do. 

“They got the Captain of our boat, trussed up like a hog. There is no way we are getting back without him.”, Micah said. 

“Damn it!”, Dutch said, slamming his fist down on the boat. Just when he thought he was so close to getting home, so close to Cathryn, it was all for shit. Micah patted him on the back, Dutch appreciated the gesture. 

“We gotta go in there, destroy the artillery and get our friendly Captain.”, Micah said, passing out dynamite. 

“For once I agree with you...”, Arthur mumbled. “You coming with us Hercule?” 

“Any chance to fight Fussar, I’ll take it.”, Dutch nodded. 

“Okay. Bill, you stay here and guard the boat with Javier. The rest of you come with me, we’re gonna get off this island once and for all...” 

*** 

“Well, we survived...”, Dutch said, lounging on the crates, enjoying the cool sea breeze. His spirits were high, he was so close to home now. How many men had he killed to get back to her? It didn’t matter, there would never be a limit for him. He only hoped she had found safety. If she didn’t make it, well, there wasn’t a soul on earth that wouldn’t feel his fury. 

“What now?”, Bill asked, “we heading back to Lemoyne again? We’re wanted men!”, Bill always had a habit of acting like he was the only one who knew common information, but Dutch was already forming a plan. 

“We slip ashore one by one.”, Dutch said, “we find out what’s what and then head home.” 

“Let’s head back to Blackwater!”, Micah smirked, Dutch shook his head. 

“No.” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m not leaving her, I won’t leave her again. It’s safer in Lemoyne, they won’t suspect us there.”, Dutch was justifying it in his head, but Micah had a way of crawling into the pits of his brain. 

“Feels like our luck is running out, y’know?”, Arthur said, staring off to the sea. 

“Arthur...We need to stick together. Broke, alone, they are gonna pick us off one by one. You know this.”, Dutch was pleading with Arthur to trust him, he was the only one Dutch really had left on his side. He thought he had lost him before, lost him and Cathryn, but after this they had to be better. “We need to split up, keep a low profile and track the rest...”, Dutch looked to the horizon, it was only Cathryn though that mattered to him. As long as she was okay, he would be okay. “We’ll find each other eventually, we always do.” 

“This is crazy...”, Javier said, rubbing his eyes with his hands. 

“Yes it is. But we are family. I will kill for my family. You know I will, and some of you may not agree with that...”, Dutch looked towards Arthur. “But it is who I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for your support! Whether you have given Kudos or commented or even bookmarked, it really means alot to me :) I've been a bit slow on updates recently but I promise that I will finish this work, we are so close now!


	44. Reunited

Cathryn was helping Mr. Pearson cut up some vegetables when she saw a figure in the distance, she wiped the sweat and raindrops from her face and focused her eyes to make out who it was. They were still waiting back on Dutch, Arthur and Bill, the others had made it back safe and sound. It had given everyone hope to see Charles, Javier and even Micah return. The stories of Guarma seemed horrific, she only hoped nothing had happened to the other three on their journey home. 

“Arthur...”, she said, calling out his name with only a whisper. As he came closer into view, she dropped the knife and shouted, “Arthur!”, she ran towards him and jumped into his arms. He was weak but that didn’t stop the smile on his face. “You’re home.” 

“Not even the army could keep me away...”, he joked, coughing slightly. He tightened his grip but then pulled away, brushing some hair out of her face. The two looked at each other for a moment but broke away when Abigail came over. 

“Oh Arthur, you’re alive!”, she came up and embraced him, leading him into the small shack they now called home. Cathryn watched them retreat and turned around, one more glance at the horizon before joining the festivities inside. “Hey everybody! Look who’s here!”, she heard Abigail shout which was immediately followed by jeers. Cathryn smiled to herself, her family was coming back together. She shut the door behind her and pulled her shawl around her body, hoping to warm herself up. She watched as Arthur went around the camp, touching the arms of his friends, embracing everyone around him. Arthurs arrival had lifted spirits massively. 

“It’s good to see you all, good to be back...”, Arthur said, glancing at Cathryn quickly before sitting down. 

“Arthur, they’ve got John. He’s been arrested.”, Abigail said quickly. Cathryn sighed, she knew Abigail just wanted John back safe and sound but the man had only just returned from a shipwreck. He needed rest. 

“Has he been hung?”, Arthur asked. 

“Not yet.”, Sadie replied, shaking her head. “They moved him to Sisika, he’s been working on a chain gang.”, Arthur listened intently and thanked Uncle as he received a bowl of warm stew. It was probably the most he had eaten in a long time; he didn’t hesitate to scoff it down. 

“We’ll see what we can do.”, he said between mouthfuls. 

*** 

“So, was Dutch doing okay? The others didn’t really say much.”, Cathryn asked Arthur as they huddled next to each other. Everyone else was pretty much asleep so the two spoke in whispers. Arthur thought for a moment, looking around the room as if scared to say something. The rain filled the rooms silence. 

“I don’t know Cathy. I mean, all he talked about was wanting to get home to you. You never left his thoughts for a moment...”, Cathryn smiled at that, at least it showed that he cared. “But...I saw something in him whilst we were gone. Something that I only had glimpses of before, it would have scared you. I hope for both of your sakes that that side is gone.”, and as if Dutch had heard whispers of his name, the door swung open and he walked into the room. His hair was long and tangled, his facial hair unkempt, his face burnt from the sun and completely drenched from the rain. Cathryn had never seen him look so rough but the moment he caught her face she jumped up and ran over to him. 

“Dutch...”, she whispered, embracing him. He held her tightly by the waist, lifting her up in the air. “You came back...” 

“I’m never leaving you again.”, he vowed, spinning her around and putting her back on the ground. His hands found their way into her curls and pulled her towards him, kissing her passionately. The gang had awoken, having heard Dutch’s entrance and immediately they pounced on him. 

“Dutch!”, Abigail cried, forcing Dutch to unwillingly let Cathryn go. “Dutch, they have John.”, Cathryn watched Dutch process this information. He was nodding but just like Arthur, Cathryn could see he was exhausted and just needed some rest. The rest of the cabin began to jeer as Tilly woke everyone up. 

“Dutch is back”, “He’s back!”, everyone cried as if he were their Messiah. The cheering seemed to lift Dutch's spirit as he pulled Cathryn in front of him, embracing her tightly from behind and kissing her temples. 

“How did you folks find each other?”, he asked. “and, can someone get me a coffee or something?”, Tilly ran to the back to get Dutch a hot cup of coffee. 

“It was Cathryn and Ms. Adler who saved us Dutch.”, Mr. Pearson said, Dutch looked at Cathryn with pride, taking the hot coffee from Tilly and drinking it slowly, savouring every note. 

“After the robbery in Saint Dennis, they got us away from camp before the Pinkertons showed up!”, Herr Strauss narrated. Dutch squeezed Cathryn tighter, pressing a hard kiss to her cheek. 

“That’s my girl.”, he whispered. “Ms. Adler, we owe you.”, Dutch said, raising his coffee cup to her. Sadie chuckled to herself, her face going slightly red as she looked to the floor, but everyone followed Dutch. 

“It’s been hard Dutch.”, Tilly said, looking around at everyone. “We, we’ve been surviving but only just. What are we gonna do?” 

“Things have been tough, there ain’t no doubt about that.”, Dutch said, “But trust me, I’m going to get us out of here. This ain’t over.”, Dutch was greeted by many smiles but in the corner of her eye, Cathryn saw Arthur look down to the floor. She needed to talk to him about Dutch, there was obviously something going on. 

“Ain’t none of you folks interested in our little adventure?”, Micah shouted with a huge grin on his face, looking around the room. 

“We’re more interested in escaping the hangmen on our trail.”, Abigail said, her eyes narrowed at Micah. Micah just saw her as an exciting challenge though. 

“Cheerful nymph of the prairie, weren’t you, Abigail?”, Cathryn watched as Abigail stormed off. 

“Oh sure, my fair heart jumps for joy when I set eyes on you Micah.”, Cathryn could just hear Abigails eyes rolling and smirked, Dutch noticed and squeezed her shoulders. “Oh, by the way...”, Abigail came back with a hot cup of coffee. “We buried Hosea, Dutch. Charles and I stole his body from the law one night and gave him a proper burial.”, Dutch nodded, looking outside to where the grave may possibly be. 

“I can show you when you want to see it.”, Cathryn said, placing her hand on top of his, trying to comfort him. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.”, Dutch said, kissing her forehead softly. 

“There you all are!”, a shout came from outside as the gang watched Bill Williamson storm into the house, drenched from the rain. “I asked everyone I could find and eventually someone knew! Said you fools were out here! Shit...get me a drink or something!”, he ordered Sadie who looked as if she were ready to punch his lights out. 

“Get your own damn drink.”, she spat, Cathryn giggled as she watched Bill flinch. 

“In our absence, Ms. Adler and Cathryn have been look after things.”, Dutch said, slowly walking towards Bill and placing a warning hand on his shoulder. “Now, sit down.” 

“This is Agent Milton from the Pinkerton Agency!”, Cathryn and the rest of them quickly whipped around to the door when they heard his voice, shit they had found them. 

“Fuck sake...”, Dutch groaned, rubbing his head. “Again!” 

“On behalf of Cornwall Kerosene and Tar, the United States government and the Commonwealth of West Elizabeth...we are here to arrest you.”, Cathryn watched as everyone began to get their guns out, Dutch ushered her to his side. “Come out with your hands up...” 

“Stay close to me Darlin’, not having you leave my side ever again.”, Dutch whispered. Within seconds, before someone would even be able to walk out the door and surrender, the Pinkertons fired hundreds of bullets into the front of the shack. “Get down!”, Dutch shouted and pushed Cathryn onto the floor, covering her with his own body. 

“Arthur! Follow me!”, Cathryn heard Sadie shout and watched as the two of them made their way into a separate room. 

“Come on sweetheart, we’re gonna get behind that beam? Got it?”, Dutch watched as Cathryn nodded and he quickly got up, picking her up with him and ran to a large beam, hiding behind it. Dutch pulled her close into his embrace and held her tightly as the shack shook from impact. “Fucking Bill Williamson...”, he whispered. Cathryn flinched at the sound of an explosion and watched the east side of the shack start alight. 

“Dutch, the fire.”, she whispered, clinging onto him tightly. 

“It’ll be okay, we’re over here...”, he said softly. 

“What about the others?”, she whispered, looking over to Herr Strauss, Mary-Beth and Uncle who were all close to the fire. She glanced up at Dutch to see his face stone-cold, was this what Arthur meant? 

“I warned you all!”, she heard Milton shout, “But you mistook my mercy for weakness!”, Cathryn swore to herself, of course he would survive that gunshot wound from the bank. “Now I will show you strength and you will mistake it for brutality! There is no escape for any of you, I shall hunt you down to the ends of the earth!”, Dutch’s hand gripped her tightly, she watched a darkness fall over his face. The one she saw at Black-water. 

“Dutch...”, she whispered, trying to snap him out of it. The fire was close to Mary-Beth now, if they didn’t move they would burn, or suffocate from the smoke. “Move to the west of the shack!”, Cathryn shouted when she caught the eye of Uncle. He nodded, touching Mary-Beth and guiding the rest of them to the other side of the house. “Dutch...”, she tried again, shaking his hand, spinning around and kissing him passionately. It seemed to do the trick as he pulled away from her, looking around. 

“What’s happening?”, he asked. 

“Arthur and Sadie went out back, I think they could be using a trap-door to sneak up on the Pinkertons. We planned that route in case of something like this.” 

“I’m sorry.”, he said, his eyes full of tears. 

“What?”, she asked, looking around, wondering if anyone else saw this display. 

“I’m sorry I left you, I never should have left you.”, he said, gripping her face and bringing it close to his own. “You did all this, you shouldn’t have had to. I should have been there; I should have protected you. I failed. I failed you, I failed Hosea, I failed Lenny.”, Cathryn shook her head but she could see in his eyes that he was unhinged. 

“That’s not true...”, she said, stroking his face to try and calm him. 

“I promise you that I won’t fail again, I’ll be strong for you once we are out of this mess. I just need time...”, he promised. 

“Dutch, you didn’t fail me.”, Cathryn said, “Look, right now we are being rained on by water and bullets, let’s try to focus on that now and the rest of it when we all get out, safe and alive. Okay?”, Dutch nodded quickly, blinking furiously to try and get the tears out of his eyes. He looked around to see if anyone witnessed the weakness in him, thankfully it was only Cathryn. 

“They got them!”, Bill shouted, and when Cathryn listened she could hear that the gunfire was no longer directed to them. She watched as Bill ran out of the shack with his gun, Cathryn went to join him but Dutch anchored her back to him. 

“Dutch...we have to help them.”, she tried to reason. 

“Stay with me.”, he ordered, slowly getting up. “I won’t have you shot to pieces within an hour of me returning from hell!”, Javier and Charles also stood up to defend the gang, normally she would have gotten away from Dutch and dealt with the consequences but there was something in him that Arthur described, something she could finally see. A caged wild animal that was waiting to be released, she couldn’t risk rattling him. He looked to the door, seeing that the gunfire had subsided. “Wait here. Don’t move.”, he said, taking his gun out and going to investigate. 

“I’d listen to him if I were you...”, she heard Micah say, peeking around from the corner from where he was hiding. “Dutch is a changed man after our little adventure, he’s not gonna take your shit anymore. In fact, I’m quite surprised that he didn’t put a bullet in Arthurs head seeing you two earlier. Can you imagine? Going through all that shit in Guarma, your girl being the only thing keeping you going, then seeing her cuddled up with someone else when you return...” 

“Shut the fuck up Micah.”, Cathryn spat, her blood boiling. There was nothing going on between her and Arthur, he’d accepted her choice and moved on. “At least Dutch ordered me to stay back, what’s your excuse for being a coward?”, she saw his mask slip, saw how much he wanted to hurt her in that moment. He couldn’t though, he would never hurt her with Dutch in charge, he knew it was a death sentence. 

“You can come out everyone!”, she heard Dutch cry before Micah could utter another word. Cathryn quickly stood up and ran outside, watching as Arthur clutched his chest by the gatling gun. He needed his rest. Cathryn made a move to run over and check up on him but Dutch grabbed her just before she could and held her in his arms. “It’s safe now Cathy, you’re safe now. Thank you Arthur, you saved all of us.” 

“Not just me. Sadie and Bill and everyone else near the end. Fuck this, we’ve only been back for a few hours and this is what happens. What do we do Dutch?”, Arthur asked, kicking one of the bodies on the floor. 

“Clearly we need to leave, it will take them some time to regroup. Mr. Pearson, Ms. Grimshaw could you please start packing up!”, Dutch shouted out across the camp. “Javier, can you and Bill go scare off any scum still loitering about...”, the two men nodded and began to head off. “We, we just need some time. I need some time”, Dutch stuttered, Micah had come over to join them. “We can’t go East cause we’ll be in the ocean, see how well that worked last time...so North I guess? I just need someone to buy us some time...”, Dutch then began to stagger, Cathryn quickly grabbed onto him and held him upright. 

“You’ll do it Boss, you always do.”, Micah said reassuringly, though the glare he gave Cathryn made her body shiver. 

“Dutch, what are we gonna do about John?”, Abigail said, her head popping up out of nowhere. Dutch took a couple steps back, shaking his head. 

“John?”, Abigail sighed and began to pace. 

“He’s in jail!”, she almost shouted, Cathryn watched Dutch blink frantically. 

“We-We-We'll get him back soon, Abigail. Just-Just not yet.”, he began to wave his hands in front of her so Cathryn helped him lower them, gave him someone to lean on. 

“Dutch is exhausted, he’s no good to any of us now. I’m going to help him get some rest, no one is to disturb him unless it’s an emergency.” 

“This is an emergency!”, Abigail said, frustrated that she felt no one cared about John. 

“No it’s not, not right now!”, Cathryn erupted, causing everyone around her to stare. “Look, Dutch needs rest. We’ll have a plan sorted tomorrow. I’m sorry Abigail, try to understand.”, Abigail nodded reluctantly and stormed off to find Jack whilst Cathryn helped usher Dutch into the room she had stayed in. 

“That woman...”, Dutch mumbled as Cathryn helped him sit down. She slowly began taking off his boots. “What am I going to do Cathryn?”, he asked, reaching his hand up to stroke her face. 

“You’ll get past this Dutch, we all will. But not right now, you need to rest.”, she said softly. When he was ready for bed she laid down beside him and covered them with a blanket, he came close to her, holding her gently. “Just focus on sleep, we’ll take it step by step tomorrow.”, she began to run her fingers through his damp, tangled hair. “Maybe start off with getting you cleaned up.”, she jested, hoping to cheer him up but there was no laughter. 

“You were the only thing that kept me going, y’know? Seeing you with Hosea, seeing those guns on you, it broke me.”, he whispered into her hair, his secret for her. 

“You aren’t broken Dutch, just need some love and care...”, Cathryn tried so hard to believe it.


	45. Heartbreak

The next morning had gone smoother than Cathryn hoped for. Dutch seemed to regain some of his energy and was already thinking of new plans for the gang. Cathryn smiled as she helped him shave his beard back to liking and even cut some strands of his hair. 

“You have done a fine job, my dear.”, Dutch said as he observed his reflection in the mirror. “Though I expected nothing less...”, he pulled her into his lap and she giggled as he left soft kisses across her neck. 

“Dutch! Stop it!”, Cathryn cried and after a while he did. They sat there for a moment, smiling to each other as if nothing had changed. “What are we gonna do about John?”, Cathryn asked, hoping they could get him back as soon as possible now Dutch was back on his feet. Dutch sighed, as if he were tired of the conversation they were having. It didn’t fill Cathryn with much confidence. 

“I’ll think on it. John will be fine for now.”, Cathryn frowned, it wasn’t like Dutch to leave family behind. John had been with them before she had. 

“We don’t know how long he’ll be fine though. They could hang him whenever they like...”, she tried to reason but Dutch was having none of it. He pushed Cathryn up so she was standing and got up himself. 

“Look, give me time. You trust me, don’t you Cathy?”, she sighed but eventually nodded. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to talk to Micah.”, he kissed her on the cheek and then made his way over to the other side of the swamp where Micah was sat. Cathryn turned around and saw Arthur leaning against a tree, he beckoned her over. 

“Hey, what’s up?”, Cathryn said as she walked over. 

“He’s not letting up over John, is he?”, Cathryn sighed and shook her head. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, it seemed as if Dutch had some sort of grudge against John. “Y’know, Dutch thinks that John may be the snitch. Wanting to secure a peaceful life for his family...”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows in shock, John would never do something like that. 

“What do you think?”, Cathryn asked. Arthur looked around and sighed before coughing into his hand. 

“I’ve never heard more bullshit in my life. John is innocent but until Dutch thinks otherwise he is gonna stay in that prison. So, me and Sadie are gonna bust him out.”, he said it in a low tone, hoping that no one else would hear. 

“Dutch won’t like it.”, Cathryn warned. Dutch hated people working against him. 

“If Dutch is as good a man as he says he is, he will be happy that John is home and that will be the end of it.”, Arthur tried to reason. “I’m meeting Sadie now if you wanna join, she’s got a plan.”, Cathryn sighed, looking over to Dutch. 

“I should let him know I’m going with you.”, Arthur nodded, watching as she walked over to Dutch and Micah. The two were laughing with each other and with each step she took she felt more and more nervous, as if she were walking into the lions den. 

“Oh, Hi there Cathy!”, Micah said, smiling as if he hadn’t been threatening yesterday. “Dutch was just saying what a wonderful woman you are.”, Dutch pulled her into his side and stared longingly. 

“The very best.”, he whispered. Cathryn smiled and took Dutch’s hand, turning him to face her. 

“I’m heading off into Saint Denis with Arthur for some supplies. Did you need anything?”, Cathryn watched as his face grew darker. 

“Can’t someone else do that sort of work?”, he asked, his tone too accusatory for Cathryn’s liking. 

“I need some new clothes and you know how fussy I can get. Arthur wanted to sell some of his pelts as well.”, Dutch continued to stare, he was unconvinced. “Do you need me to take a chaperone? Is that where we are at now?”, she placed her hands on her hips, signaling clearly how unhappy she was with his attitude and she saw his jaw clench. 

“I want you back before the sun sets.”, he ordered, glancing over to where Arthur stood. 

“Of course, why would I be any later than that?”, Cathryn said, she went to leave but Dutch pulled her back in, grabbing her by the back of the neck and into what could only be described as a rough kiss. Cathryn squealed in shock but returned it. When the moment passed she placed a hand on his chest and pulled away. “I’ll see you this evening.”, when she walked away she heard Micah jeering. 

*** 

The ride into Saint Denis was quick and despite feeling a bit nervous about getting recognised and arrested, she was having fun riding Rosemary. She could actually enjoy herself now, knowing that everyone was back home. 

“Should be up ahead...”, Arthur said, coughing into a handkerchief. 

“You okay Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, “that cough is getting worse and worse every time I see you.”, Arthur nodded but his coughing became more aggressive, she observed as he stopped his horse and dismounted in the middle of the street. Cathryn watched, unsure of what to do as he clung onto his horse's reins. It was as if he were coughing his lungs up. His face became paler as he began to sway on his feet. “Arthur? Arthur?!”, she shouted before he collapsed on the floor. 

Cathryn quickly dismounted from Rosemary and got down on her knees beside Arthur, he was burning up and unconscious. She began to shake him, fear filled her entire body. She could see him slowly waking but to her it seemed as if he were transitioning in and out of consciousness. Thankfully a passer-by had joined her, helping her drag him to the other side of the street. 

“Please, I don’t know what to do.”, Cathryn said, losing all of her medical knowledge through the stress of it all. He had to survive, he just had to. 

“Sir, Sir...are you awake? Can you hear me?”, Arthur groaned and nodded slightly. “He doesn’t look so good, let’s get him to a doctor! It’s not far from here...”, The man helped Arthur to his feet and Cathryn quickly took the other side to support him. The three of them walked slowly to the doctors, Arthur seemed to be more in control of his body and even tried to walk on his own but it wouldn’t be too far before he had to lean on something and stop to get his breath back. 

“Please, just wait a minute...”, he was coughing again, obviously having trouble breathing. Cathryn waited by him for every second, waited for him to give the go ahead to keeping going. She saw splatters of blood on the pavement as she took his right arm. 

“It’s the building right here!”, the man said, gesturing to the door in front of them. 

“Thank you, thank you so much.”, Cathryn said, helping Arthur get through the front door. 

“Don’t worry about it Miss, just make sure he gets better!”, Cathryn nodded and quickly followed Arthur through to the reception room. 

“Excuse me.”, Cathryn said to the receptionist who was rifling through papers. She turned around, took one look at Arthurs condition and rushed over. “Please, my friend he’s very ill. He just collapsed in the street. I don’t know what’s wrong but he’s coughing up blood.”, the nurse seemed to understand straight away, shooting Cathryn a glance of sympathy and lead them to the doctor’s office. The door opened and the doctor let both of them in, Cathryn helped sit Arthur down in a chair. 

“Look Miss, I don’t mean nothing but you got money?”, Cathryn looked at the doctor in shock, but then quickly shook her head and got out some money for the doctor. “Thank you.”, he said, looking at her sadly. “Now, what’s wrong?”, he asked Arthur sitting in the seat opposite him. “I mean, what appears to be the symptoms?” 

“Think you’ve heard them...”, Arthur jests, coughing into his hand. He then rolled his head back, as if he didn’t have the strength to keep his head up. 

“Is there blood?”, the doctor asked, getting out his stethoscope and listening to Arthurs breathing. Cathryn winced as she realised how much she was clenching her fist, her fingernails had drawn blood. 

“Sometimes...”, Arthur mumbled, she could see Arthur was having a lot of difficulty breathing. How had she never seen he was this bad before? Had she been so blind this entire time? 

“Let me see your tongue.”, the doctor said, taking out a wooden stick and pressing it on Arthurs tongue. He looked around, got up and washed his hands thoroughly. 

“What is it?”, Cathryn said softly, Arthur whipped his head around. He had almost forgotten she was there. 

“You have tuberculosis.”, the doctor said, Cathryn’s heart dropped into her stomach. No, he couldn’t have tuberculosis. She had seen tuberculosis before when she was at the nunnery. Arthur couldn’t have gotten it. He couldn’t survive with it. “I’m really sorry for you son, it’s one hell of a thing.”, Cathryn’s hands were shaking, she couldn’t lose Arthur too. 

“Wait, what do you mean?”, he asked, she looked up and saw his face. God, he had no idea what was going on. The doctor sat down by him again. 

“You’re really sick son. It’s a progressive disease. You’ll be...well the best thing is to rest and get somewhere warm and dry. Take it easy.”, Cathryn wiped the tears from her eyes, Arthur would never have the privilege to do that. He wouldn’t go away to rest; he wouldn’t leave the gang. “I’m really sorry...”, Arthur refused to look at Cathryn, he couldn’t bear the shame. “Let me get you a bit more energy today.”, the doctor said, going into his drawer and taking out a syringe. Arthur winced as the needle went into his arm but when the doctor was done he stood to his feet and walked out of the door without another word. 

“Arthur?”, Cathryn said, shocked that he would just leave her inside. 

“Please don’t be angry Miss. This is a lot of bad news for one person. Try and look after him, force him to rest. He won’t have long left otherwise.”, Cathryn nodded, wiping the tears from her eyes and thanked the doctor before walking out to try and find Arthur. 

“Arthur!”, she shouted as she came out of the door. She looked around the street but couldn’t find him. Filled with dread she ran up the road, looking through each alley way to try and find him. He couldn’t have just disappeared; his horse was still outside of the doctor's office. She ran around for a couple blocks, looking for a glimpse of his face when she bumped into him unexpectedly. He looked at her in confusion as if he had no idea who she was. “Arthur? It’s me, Cathy.” 

“Did you see that stag?”, Arthur asked, looking over her shoulder. Cathryn turned around but there was nothing there. 

“Arthur. We need to get you home; we need to tell Dutch. He’ll have a plan, we can find you a nice home to rest. I can come and visit you every so often and it will be nice. I promise.”, she rambled. 

“No. We can’t tell Dutch.”, Cathryn felt her heart stop. 

“Why not? We have to tell him!” 

“No! I don’t want people to know that I’m-”, he stopped and pressed his fist to his mouth, he didn’t want to say the words. “People are scared, I can help them. In fact, with how Dutch is now I’m probably the best hope they got!”, Cathryn flinched, he had never spoken so badly of Dutch before. “I’m sorry. I know you love him, I know you chose him. But he’s not right in the head Cathy. He’s changed.”, Cathryn felt anger fill her, she knew Dutch had changed but did he expect her not to defend him. 

“He’s like a father to you Arthur! You need to tell him!”, she shouted, tears running down her face in frustration. 

“For fuck sake Cathy! He stopped being a father to me the day you came back.”, Cathryn flinched again. Did Arthur think she was responsible for the breakdown in their relationship? “He saw me as a rival for you, still does in fact, but he knows he needs me to survive.”, he spat, pointing to himself. “So I’m going to do my job and my duty to make sure these good people stay alive and you aren’t gonna say a single word to Dutch. Am I clear?” 

“I don’t want you to die Arthur.”, Cathryn said, no longer holding back the tears. Arthur took one look at her and his face softened, he walked over and embraced her tightly. 

“I know. I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! :'(


	46. Burn

They stood like that for a while, they didn’t say a word, just basked in each other's company. Cathryn didn’t want to let go of Arthur, but she knew she would have to eventually. Both literally and figuratively. She wanted to tell Dutch, she wanted someone she could talk to, someone she could cry to. But if Arthur really didn’t want to tell him then she would respect his wishes, she would have to find another way to cope. 

When they eventually made their way to see Sadie, they tried to put on a brave face but when Arthur coughed up some more blood, Cathryn could only wince. 

“Any problems coming in?”, Sadie asked, walking up to them. 

“No, none at all.”, Arthur said, his voice hoarse. 

“Guess they know now that we ain’t in the city...”, Sadie smirked, looking over at Cathryn. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just not feeling too good.”, Cathryn whispered, hoping Sadie would buy it. 

“Well, if you aren’t up to help us with John then maybe you should rest. No offense but if we have to look after you that’s one more thing to worry about.”, Cathryn nodded, she may take Sadie up on that offer. “Come along for the meantime though, I got something exciting to show you two.”, the three of them got up and left the bar, heading over to their horses. “Follow me.” 

“So, what’s the plan?”, Arthur asked, his face looking stony, as if he hadn’t heard moments ago that he was dying. Cathryn had no idea how he could be so emotionless. 

“Well, first of all we need to see if John is still at the prison. We need to get high up to have a look at the place.”, Arthur scoffed. 

“It’s on an island isn’t it? What do you suppose we do? Fly?” 

“That’s exactly what we’re going to do. I’ve found us a hot air balloon...”, that peaked Cathryn's interest, she remembered seeing one once at the nunnery. The women there were in awe but Sister Margaret told everyone it was the devils work and humans should remain on the ground as it was most natural. Still, Cathryn had always dreamt of flying. “The pilot, or whatever you want to call him, just thinks we’re in it for a lesson, or a tour.” 

“I’m impressed. You both really stepped up whilst we were gone.”, Arthur said, glancing quickly at Cathryn. 

“We didn’t even know if you were coming back.”, Sadie said, “Cathryn was worried sick, weren’t ya? But she stayed strong. We all did.”, Sadie had been a rock to Cathryn whilst the men were stuck in Guarma, she had no idea how she would have survived without her strength. Perhaps she could turn to Sadie later and talk to her about Arthur, she knew Sadie wouldn’t snitch on him. She was grateful to Dutch but she wasn’t stupid. “Karens fully devoted to the bottle, Molly too. Strauss is a bag of nerves...Swanson seems to have cleared up his act though!” 

“There it is!”, Arthur said, when the balloon came into view. Cathryn gazed up in awe, it was beautiful. 

“Wow, that’s amazing...”, Cathryn said, dismounting from her horse. 

“From the ground, yeah, I guess...”, Arthur said, a small smile on his face. 

“Mr. Bullard?”, Sadie shouted, looking around the area. A small man popped out from the basket. 

“Ah, Ms. Adler! Good to see you! Arturo Bullard at your service sir!”, he said, climbing out of the basket and offering his hand to Arthur. “It’s a nice fresh day for flying!”, he said, his arm around Arthur as they turned back to the balloon. He seemed to forget that Cathryn was even there. “You ever flown before, sir? Oh, it’s quite a thing!”, he rummaged in the basket and pulled out a pair of goggles, offering them to Arthur. “Put these on, and hope in!”, Arthur looked over at Cathryn and Sadie. 

“Ain’t they coming?”, he asked. “I know Cathryn really wanted to ride in one...”, Cathryn raised her eyebrows to that remark, she hadn’t told Arthur how much she wanted to ride in it. Maybe he saw it on her face. Mr. Bullard just laughed. 

“Women can’t fly, sir! Are you insane!”, Cathryn crossed her arms in annoyance. “The terrible damage it does to them! To their vapors...”, Cathryn didn’t believe it for a moment, neither did Sadie from the looks of it but this was the only way to see if John was safe. Arthur shrugged to them and got into the basket with Mr. Bullard and before they knew it they were up in the air. Cathryn couldn’t even help the small giggle escape her mouth when she saw Arthurs fear-stricken face. “Goodbye Ms. Adler and...Miss uh...Goodbye!”, Mr. Bullard shouted, Sadie couldn’t stop laughing. 

“Well, he was eccentric...”, Cathryn said as she leant on a large rock. 

“I think him and Arthur will get along...”, Sadie smirked as she sat on the ground. “You feeling okay? You think you could be you know...?”, she gestured to her stomach and immediately Cathryn twinged. 

“No, no! I’m not. At least I don’t think so...”, Sadie nodded and looked up the balloon. It was higher than the trees now. “You ever had kids?” 

“No. I wanted them but I couldn’t.”, Sadie said, “Jake was very sweet about it all, in some ways I’m glad. That way they didn’t have to put up with their father dying.”, Cathryn nodded. “What about you and Dutch? Think you’ll have kids soon?” 

“I don’t know.”, Cathryn said, sitting next to Sadie. “Ask me a few weeks ago and I would have said yes. Dutch is changing, I can’t explain it.”, Sadie nodded, listening intently. “I think he’s too busy these days to be thinking about stuff like that anyway.” 

“Do you still love him?”, Sadie asked, Cathryn thought for a moment. 

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him. He was my everything, for so long. When I was at that nunnery, it was him that kept me going. You don’t just lose that.”, Sadie nodded. 

“How’s Arthur dealing with that?”, Cathryn sighed, she wanted to tell Sadie so bad. But she wouldn’t, not for now at least. 

“He’s accepted it. Dutch doesn’t think so though...”, there was a period of silence. 

“Well, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here.”, Sadie looked over to her, a small smile on her face. Suddenly it went cold, her eyes peering over into the horizon. “Don’t move.”, Cathryn froze up. “We’re surrounded. O’Driscoll’s, I think, damn it.”, Cathryn began to shake, flash-backs of her kidnapping filled her brain. “It’s okay, our horses are just there. We’re gonna use them as cover okay?”, Cathryn nodded. “Follow me. Go.”, the two of them quickly got up and ran to their horses, Cathryn only just managing to jump on Rosemary as she missed a bullet. The two of them ran through the clearing and into the woods, they were heading towards St. Annesburg. 

“What’s going on?” Cathryn shouted to Sadie. 

“Oh yeah, I’ve been hunting the O’Drisoll’s in my spare time. Forgot to mention that...” 

“Sadie!”, Cathryn shouted in frustration. “Come on, let’s go through the train-line!”, they diverged from the path and towards the tracks that led into the small town. Thankfully there was no train around. 

“Look to your left!”, Sadie shouted. “Arthurs coming back.”, Cathryn flinched as she felt a bullet whip past her. Cathryn quickly turned around and saw that three of the riders had fallen, the balloon was close now and she could make out Arthur with his shot-gun. “Up the ridge!”, Cathryn left the tracks and headed up a small hill that ran alongside the tracks but more and more O’Driscoll’s had started following them. Cathryn took out a pistol and began shooting as well, causing one of them to fall off their horse. The victory was short lived however when a sharp pain ripped through her shoulder. 

“Fuck!”, she shouted, as she clung to Rosemary. 

“You okay?”, Sadie shouted back. 

“Just been shot, think I’m okay.”, Cathryn watched as a few more O’Driscoll’s fell down. “Head back to the tracks!”, she shouted and Sadie took the lead, the two of them falling back onto the train line. Cathryn heard a loud thump and turned back to see Mr. Bullard on the floor by her. She quickly looked up to see Arthur struggling with the controls. Fuck, her shoulder was on fire. 

“Cathryn! Sadie!”, she heard Arthur shout. He threw a rope down to them, “Grab the rope!”, Sadie looked at her. 

“You first.”, she said. 

“My arm...I won’t hold on.”, Cathryn shuddered. 

“Okay, I’ll grab on and then grab you okay?”, Cathryn nodded as Sadie jumped for the rope. She managed to cling on and then offered her arm to Cathryn. “Come on, you can make it.”, Cathryn winced but managed to balance herself on Rosemary and jumped into Sadie’s arms. “Shit.”, Sadie swore. “Hold on.”, Cathryn nodded as she clung to Sadie. She saw Sadie’s arm turn red with her blood, heard a few more gunshots and then submerged into darkness. 

*** 

“I don’t care what happened, I want them back here to answer for this shit!”, was the first thing Cathryn heard when she woke up. It was Dutch’s voice; she was in his tent. She looked down at her body to see she was wearing one of Dutch’s shirt, she could also feel that she had been bandaged up. Where were Sadie and Arthur? She slowly got to her feet and managed to shuffle out of the tent, Dutch and Micah were talking to Charles. He glanced at her; the motion quickly noticed by Dutch. 

“Cathryn, welcome back.”, Charles said, looking for something to distract Dutch. Dutch turned around and ran over to Cathryn, holding her by the face. 

“Oh sweetheart. You’re okay, you’re okay...”, he held her softly, terrified she was going to break. 

“What happened? How did I get here?”, she mumbled, looking very disorientated. 

“I ran into Arthur and Sadie whilst I was hunting.”, Charles said. “You were unconscious and wounded, they gave you to me to take you back to camp. They’re on their way to get John back as we speak...” 

“Don’t worry, they’ll pay for putting you in danger...”, Dutch mumbled into her hair, Cathryn pulled away. 

“What are you talking about? They didn’t put me in danger, it was my own fault for not dodging...”, she didn’t want Dutch to punish Sadie or Arthur, it had nothing to do with them. Dutch didn’t like that answer though. 

“Like hell it was! I thought you were dead when I saw you in Charles arms! You were covered in your own blood!”, Dutch shouted, his anger now directed at her. Cathryn flinched in fear. 

“But I’m not dead! They did nothing wrong!”, she shouted, standing her ground. She felt the eyes of everyone in camp on her. 

“They disobeyed me! I said we would get John back, but because of their recklessness you are hurt!”, he was getting closer to her now, their noses almost touching. 

“If this was really about me and my safety you wouldn’t be shouting at me like this! This is all about you! If you have a problem with what they are doing then that’s fine but don’t use me and my misfortune as your excuse!”, she shouted, her hand pushing him away from her. 

“Get back to my tent.”, he whispered menacingly. Cathryn looked around, seeing the shock on everyone's face before turning around and walking back into the tent. There was enough going on in this camp, they didn’t need a show.


	47. Compromises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back bitches! Second time uploading this chapter as for some reason its not updating the story! Hoping this time it will actually do it!

“Are you going to listen to me now?”, Dutch asked, his voice softer now it was just the two of them. Cathryn didn’t want to hear any of it though, the way he treated her outside was horrific.

“No. No, I don’t think so Dutch. You seem perfectly happy to shout and scream in front of everyone in this camp.”, she began grabbing a bag and putting some of her bits inside, it was an action that Dutch noticed straight away.

“What are you doing?”, he asked, blocking the tent exit.

“I think I should move back in with the girls for a little while. I can’t deal with you being like this Dutch.”, he quickly moved over to her, grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her away from the bag.

“No, please Cathryn don’t….”, Cathryn ripped her hand from his grasp and shouted.

“Why not?”, Dutch was silent at her outburst, putting his hands down and just watching as she continued to pack. By the time the bag was full and she was ready to go she burst into tears and fell to her knees, the wound in her shoulder throbbing painfully. Dutch stood there, watching as she broke apart, unsure of what to say or do. “I’m so tired…I’m tired of all of this! I’m tired of running and I’m tired of losing people. When is it gonna end, Dutch? I can’t live like this!”, her hands grabbed the blankets on the bed, she needed something to hold onto as she lost herself in her sorrows. She had no idea where Arthur was, she had no idea when he was going to die. She felt Dutch kneel down beside her, bringing her into his embrace. Despite her anger towards him she found herself seeking his comfort, his warmth. She held onto him tightly and sobbed into his chest.

“Oh Cathryn…”, he said, stroking the top of her head and squeezing tighter, trying to mind her injury. “I’m so sorry for burdening you with this, I promise it won’t happen again. I’m just trying to be strong for everyone, I’m trying to protect everyone. I never wanted it to end up like this. You are the most important person in this world to me, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You do though sometimes…”, she whimpered, clinging onto his shirt. “You’re always so angry and I don’t know why. I would never betray you; I would never hurt you.”

“I know. I know. It’s just that other people will…and those people are trying to turn everyone against me.”, he hooked his finger around her chin, moving her face so she was facing him. “I don’t blame you, I’m just trying to protect you from them.”

“You mean Arthur and John?”, Cathryn asked incredulously, Dutch nodded sombrely. “No, they love you Dutch…”

“They really don’t Cathy. You don’t see it but I do. They loved me once, back when they believed in me. But too much has gone wrong and they see me at fault. They blame me for everyone’s deaths and nothing is going to change that. Then of course there is how Arthur feels about you...”, Dutch explained slowly, though it just made Cathryn more confused.

“Look, there is nothing going on between me and Arthur.”, Cathryn said with a sense of finality, hoping to put this issue to rest.

“I’m not the only one who sees it sweetheart...Micah-”

“Fuck Micah!”, she pushed away from him. “Is that really who you are listening to now? I told you once that Micah scared me, I told you once that I believed Micah was behind my abduction! Does that not matter to you?”, Dutch shook his head, turning around the tent unsure of how to respond.

“What do you want from me Cathryn?”, he asked finally, looking genuinely confused. “I’m trying to set us up for a future where we can be safe and happy...Sometimes you need to work with people who are different.”

“Different? Micah isn’t different he’s an evil bastard!”

“Uhh, boss?”, Javiers voice could be heard out of the tent. Dutch and Cathryn stood watching each other for a moment, both wondering how much of their argument he had heard.

“Come in Javier...”, Dutch said, rubbing his mouth with his hand and sitting down. Javier came in cautiously, nodding at Cathryn as he entered the tent.

“I found some land that I think could be suitable, nice area in the forest. It’s got bandits in it currently but we can head out when you’re ready.”, Dutch nodded, thinking for a moment.

“Alright, take Bill with you and get everything ready. I don’t want no dead bodies when we turn up. I’ll tell Ms. Grimshaw to start packing.”, Javier nodded then immediately left, the tension was unbearable. Dutch stood, staring at Cathryn for a while. “If you want to go then I won’t stop you, forcing you to stay with me would just push my pride over the edge.”, Cathryn nodded, whilst this was the outcome she wanted she couldn’t help feeling sick to her stomach. “I can sleep somewhere else; you should have this bed.”

“No Dutch, you stay here. You have enough trouble sleeping as it is. I’ll share with the girls, tell them that it’s too uncomfortable with my shoulder to sleep with you.”, Dutch analysed her for a moment, unsure whether to be grateful for the lie she was willing to tell her friends and nodded.

“Alright, as long as you’re sure.”, Cathryn nodded, fidgeting with her hands. Dutch walked over to her slowly but Cathryn still couldn’t look him in the eye. She already felt uncomfortable and she knew that looking at him would just make this worse. His hand reached out cautiously, as if petting a wild mare for the first time, his rough fingers sliding over her warm cheek. She tried to remain calm, her body completely stiff as he drew in even closer and pressed his lips on her left cheek. It was a soft kiss, as if he was scared she would break. He then reached behind her and grabbed her bag, offering it to her which she took gladly, as if it were the only thing keeping her afloat. She took a deep breath and went to leave the tent but his words caused her to pause.

“Oh, before you go. Thought I should tell you that Colm O’Driscoll has been arrested, he’s due to swing any day now...”, She stopped for a moment, her grip tightening on her bag before walking over to Mary-Beth.

***

_“This is impossible!”, Cathryn said as she lowered the gun Dutch had given her. They had been practicing for over an hour and still she couldn’t hit the bottle. Dutch just laughed._

_"No, it’s not. You just gotta keep going for it. I promise you will hit it soon.”, Cathryn turned to him, he was leaning on a hay bale, cigar in his mouth. She may hate target practice but he was having a great time._

_"Why do I need to practice though? I can shoot with a bow just fine!”, Dutch scoffed, she had been with them over a year and now felt comfortable talking back to Dutch. Something John still couldn’t do without a slap to the back of the head._

_"Bows are slow...”_

_"Not when you keep practicing!”, she said, turning back to the targets and shooting again. Missed._

_"But still slower than a gun...I know it's different but it will protect you.”_

_"My family always hated guns...”, Cathryn mumbled under her breath._

_"Yeah, and look where they are now.”, Dutch said, causing Cathryn to turn to face him with a frown. “Sorry, that was cold...”, he reached his arms out, beckoning her to join him. She dropped the gun to the floor and sat next to him on the hay, it was itchy but she didn’t care. “You alright?”, he asked softly, ruffling her curly hair._

_"Yeah, I guess so. I just feel a bit guilty...”, she drew her knees up to her chest, hugging them tightly._

_"Why is that?”, He leant back further, resting on one arm as he looked at her._

_"I haven’t thought of them in a while, does that make me bad?”_

_"No. You’re a growing girl, you have other things going on in your life...like learning how to shoot...”, he said offering her his gun again, she watched it wearily._

_"Why were you there that night?”, Dutch sighed, putting the gun back into its holster._

_"I was scouting the O’Driscoll camp near town, thought they may have a few leads we could steal...”_

_"O’Driscoll?”, Cathryn asked, she had heard the name before but she didn’t know much._

_"Rival gang, they’re evil though. Killing innocent men and women left right and centre, it was them that murdered your family.”, Cathryn watched his face contort in rage, “Colm O’Driscoll, he’s the worst of all of them. One day I will see that bastard die...”_

_"They really murdered my family?”, Dutch watched her for a moment, nodding slowly. Cathryn looked back to the gun on my floor._

_"Suppose I should practice then for when we see them again.”, She got up, picked up the gun and aimed for the bottle._

_"Slow and steady sweet-heart, I know you got it in you.”, first was the shot and then the shatter, Cathryn turned around with a grin on her face. “That’s my girl.”_


	48. Unravelling

The next morning, whilst everyone was packing away in hopes of moving for the final time, Abigail asked Cathryn to take Jack down by the swamps edge to play. She was worried sick about John and thought the best way to cope with that was through work. Cathryn obliged, she loved being with Jack though it seemed every time she was with him they ended up in trouble. It had been strange sleeping without Dutch, she had to obviously get used to it when he was away in Guarma but knowing he was in camp and not being with him was a different story. Thankfully the girls didn’t bring up Dutch past the excuse of her wounded shoulder, gossip of their was the last thing she needed now. She looked down to the ring on her finger, twisting it anxiously when she heard someone behind her.

“Easy, it’s just me.”, Dutch said softly, two cups of coffee in his hands. He handed one to her which she took gladly, and watched from the corner of her eye as he sat down next to her. Jack was looking at the water's edge, trying to name and count all the insects he could see. “How did you sleep last night?”

“As well as can be expected when you’ve been shot...”, she took a sip of her drink, “What about you?”

“Not very well I must confess, I missed you.”, Cathryn finally looked to him, saw the sad smile on his face and immediately looked away. She shouldn’t feel bad for standing up for herself, so why did she feel she was at fault here?

“Dutch, can we not. Not right now.”, Dutch nodded and looked out to Jack.

“He’s a sweet boy.”, that made her smile.

“Yes, he is.”, she took another sip of coffee.

“I was there when he was born, bright red and screaming. The first one to hold him in fact!”, he said it with such a sense of pride.

“Not John?”, Cathryn asked, still unsure about the family dynamic. Dutch grumbled under his breath.

“John has never been much of a father to Jack, mostly all of Abigails work. She’s an incredible woman...”, Cathryn looked over to Dutch, watching him as he watched the boy. “Started off as a prostitute, sad to say but we all had her at one point...”, Cathryn grimaced at the thought, “but despite it all she loved John and he loved her as well. She gave it all up for him and then he ran off at the first sign of trouble.”, Cathryn felt the sharpness in his voice, she remembered Arthur said he left for a year when Jack was young.

“But he came back...”, Cathryn tried to remind him.

“Oh yeah, he came back when he realised there was nothing for him. Tail between his legs, I was so angry. Now he’s doing everything he can to make amends...”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”, Cathryn sighed, pulling her knees up.

“It is when you throw people under for it.”, Cathryn closed her eyes, she knew what he was on about, he would do anything to make her see his side. “I know you don’t want to hear this Cathryn but who else could it be? What motive is there for anyone else? John has a family he now wants to protect. Hell, if I was in his situation, I would do the same thing!”, Cathryn breathed deeply, she could see Dutch's reasonings but she just couldn’t imagine John doing such a thing. “It sounds so perfect. Helping out the law so you guarantee the safety and future of your wife and child. Is that really out of the realm of possibility in your mind?”, he asked her, facing her directly.

“No, it’s not. I just can’t imagine him ever betraying us like that, we’re his family.”, Dutch shook his head.

“He has a new family now, one more important. Like me, he will do anything to keep it safe.”, Cathryn glanced over, only just realising how close Dutch was. His stare was so intense as he came closer, sliding his hand across her neck and through her hair, about to pull her in for a kiss when-

“They’re back! Jack! Your papa is back!”, Abigail shouted, running down the path towards the three of them. It took Dutch a while to process the news but as soon as he did he quickly got up and stormed into camp.

“Dutch wait!”, Cathryn cried but it was no use, he was gone and she was terrified of what was going to happen. She buried her head in her arms only looking up when she felt a small hand rubbing her back.

“Don’t cry Cathy. It’s all good now, Papa is back!”, Cathryn smiled sadly, wiping her teary eyes.

“It’ll be okay Cathryn.”, Abigail said, helping her up. “It’s not like Dutch is gonna kick ‘em out!”, Cathryn grimaced at the statement. No, she was worried it would end up much worse.

***

“-and when John brings down the law on all of us...what then, Arthur?”, she heard Dutch say as she came into view of the camp.

“Well, I guess we’ll have another fight on our hands...”, Arthur looked over to see Cathryn. “You’re alright...”, he said with a sigh, as if it has been weighing on him all this time. This just seemed to rile up Dutch more.

“I had a god-damn plan!”, he shouted, his voice cracking slightly. “Because of you, Cathryn almost died!”

“But she didn’t...and if we had left John any later then he would have!”, Arthur shot back, trying to make Dutch see what was going on.

“Dutch, it’s alright.”, Cathryn said softly, coming over and placing a hand on his chest. Dutch watched her, his eyes softening at her touch. “We’re both safe now...”, Dutch looked over to John, still in prison uniform.

“John. You are my brother; you are my son. I was coming for you.”, John didn’t seem to believe it though as he looked to Arthur.

“They were talking of hanging me Dutch!”, John burst out, Cathryn placed her head in her hands. God-damn John and his poor timing.

“Oh, they were talking! Talking!”, Dutch shouting, throwing his hands in the air. “and now they may come and hang all of us!”, he went to walk off with Micah but stopped in front of Cathryn, he wanted her to go with him but she needed to talk to John so shook her head slightly. His nose scrunched in disgust as he waved her off, storming towards his tent with Micah behind him.

“Glad to see you got back safe John.”, Cathryn said as she came closer. “Dutch will get over it...”, John rolled his eyes.

“I’ve heard that before...heard you got shot? That you wanted to help rescue me. Thank you, I know it must have been hard with Dutch on your back...”, Cathryn could just form a small smile.

“I’m sorry for just dumping you Cathy.”, Arthur said as he came closer. “We couldn’t risk Dutch stopping us...”

“It’s fine. I’m okay. You need to work things out with him though...you need to tell him...”, Arthur groaned, scratching his head. “It’s the least you could do for me.”

“Alright, I’ll tell him tonight, let him cool down a bit first.”, Cathryn patted him on the shoulder, a smile on her face. If she could pull everyone together, one stitch at a time, it would be a start.

***

Despite Dutch's outburst the rest of the camp thought that a small celebration for Johns return may lift the spirits up. Everything was packed for the move to Beaver Hollow the next day, hoping the new location might change things. Cathryn was sat around the fire with most of the gang, eating stew and telling stories of cowboys long ago. Dutch on the other hand was sat with Micah planning something, Cathryn looked over and sighed. She just wanted him back to normal.

“So, as I was saying...One eyed Wally took to the night on his mighty steed and-”, Uncle was explaining when they heard a banshee scream. The gang whipped their heads around, watching as Molly burst into the camp. She was stumbling all over the place, crying her eyes out. Cathryn watched as Dutch stood up cautiously, trying to assess the situation.

“Oh fuck...”, Karen mumbled, also getting up to try and stabilise Molly.

“Dutch van der Linde! You come here right now! I’ve fucking had it!”, Molly cried to the night.

“Jesus Christ...”, John said, they could smell the alcohol from here. “What the fuck happened to her?”

“She was fine when we moved here, but when Dutch came back she kept disappearing.”, Sadie mentioned under her breath, “probably drinking her troubles away in Saint Denis.”

“Sit down Miss O’Shea.”, Dutch said, “Welcome back...”

“It’s Molly you sack of shit!”, she spat in his face. The gang began to stand up and get closer.

“Molly calm down...”, Karen said, trying to grab her arm but Molly just twisted out of her grip and threw her arms in the air.

“Who made you the master? I won’t be ignored anymore Dutch van der Linde! I ain’t him!”, she pointed to Arthur, “or her!”, to Mary-Beth, “Or...even her!”, she pointed to Cathryn. “You fucking bitch! You took everything from me!”, she got up close to Cathryn's face but Cathryn just stood her ground.

“Molly, stop. We can talk about this.”, she said softly.

“I don’t owe you nothing! You don’t owe me nothing!”, Molly cried, swinging her arms round to glare at Dutch.

“Okay. We get it. Stop now.”, Dutch said, trying to take control of the situation.

“I’ll spit in your eye! I did! I told them!”, everyone went quiet as Molly began to laugh.

“You did what?”, Dutch said, his eyes going dark. Cathryn clasped her hand to her mouth in shock, Molly was the informant.

“Yeah! I told them! And I’d tell them again! Now I’ve got Gods ear!”, she span around, a smile on her face. Dutch grabbed her by the arms to stop her.

“You told who what?”, he shouted.

“Mr. Milton and Mr. Ross! About the bank robbery! I want them to kill you all.”, she swore, glancing over to Cathryn. Dutch noticed the action right away and let go of Molly quickly, as if she were boiling hot.

“You did what?”, he took out his gun and aimed it at her.

“I loved you! You god-damn bastard!”, her laughter turned into tears. “Then you threw me away like trash! Like I meant nothing!”, Cathryn watched Arthur whisper something into Dutch's ear. “I told them all about you and her!”, she shouted, pointing at Cathryn.

“You would betray me like that?!”, Dutch shouted, ignoring Arthur, pushing him away.

“Betray you? You betrayed me! You done nothing but lie and cheat! But you’re not so big now, are you?”

“Quiet! Both of you!”, Arthur shouted. He patted Dutch on the back and softly said. “Please, she’s a fool. Just get her out of here...”

“They’re coming for you too!”, she shouted, getting close to Cathryn. “Poor little Cathryn, you betrayed me as well! Came in here pretending to be my friend...I trusted you!”, Cathryn began to shake, all the fears she had about Molly were coming true. Hosea was dead because of her, Lenny was dead because of her. “Now look at you, terrified! You should be! They’re gonna find you, they’re gonna get you and you’re gonna pay for what you did to me!”, The blast ripped through the Swamp, echoing in the wind as Molly grabbed her stomach and fell to the floor. Cathryn looked up to see Dutch's gun still raised, the camp fell into silence. Dutch and Cathryn watched each other for a moment. He killed her.

“What the fuck...”, Arthur said, rubbing his brow with the back of his hand.

“She knew the rules Arthur!”, Ms. Grimshaw cried, coming to Dutch's defense. “What did you think would happen? That we would just let her go? People died because of her, we are in danger because of her!”, Arthur stayed silent, staring at Mollys dead body.

“We need to go, tonight!”, Dutch shouted, looking to Ms. Grimshaw. “We waste no time in getting everyone to safety.”, Everyone nodded and quickly got moving. He glanced back over to Cathryn who was still staring at Mollys body, shaking. “Cathryn, it’s going to be alright...”, he came forward with his hand raised, “ain’t nobody gonna hurt you...”, Cathryn flinched, pushing his hand aside and ran over to help the others. Dutch turned to Micah, his jaw clenched tight. “I want this piece of shit dumped in the swamp.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know they are technically meant to be in Beavers Hollow when this happens but hey, whats wrong with a little swamp time! Also who guessed Dutch would be the one to kill Molly this time???


	49. Uncertainty

Cathryn rode Rosemary alongside Arthur, both of them keeping vigil for any suspecting attack. Mollys confession had left a heavy sense of dread in camp, no one felt safe anymore, even with the informant dead. 

“You haven’t said a word since it happened Cathy, you okay?”, Arthur asked, his eyes flitting towards her. 

“She was right, I did betray her.”, Cathryn said softly, hoping no one heard what she said. 

“Look, you didn’t betray her. You tried; we all know you tried. She just wasn’t cut out for this life. If anyone is to blame then its Dutch but even then, it was her decision to rat us out. Don’t blame yourself for her actions.”, Cathryn scratched the back of her head. She knew Arthur was trying but his words just weren’t making her feel much better. 

“I just can’t believe it...”, she whispered. 

“I know. For Dutch to just shoot her like that...”, Cathryn whipped her head around. 

“What? She deserved it Arthur. She betrayed us.”, Arthur shook his head. 

“I know! I know...”, He sighed, trying to think of the right words to say. “But she was crazy and drunk...” 

“Hosea is dead because of her Arthur.”, Cathryn said, stopping her horse. He slowed down as well, turning to face her. “Don’t tell me you think we should have just let her go?”, Arthur looked off into the distance. 

“I don’t know...something just don’t feel right...”, he mumbled. Cathryn shook her head in disbelief, she felt terrible for causing this mess but that didn’t mean she felt sympathy for Molly after ratting them all out. 

“Maybe Dutch was right after all.”, Arthur looked at her in shock, unsure of what to say. Cathryn didn’t want to hear anymore though so started riding again, moving past two of the wagons to go up front. She just wanted some time to herself. She looked towards the skyline, reveling in the sounds of birdsong and the smell of wild-flowers in the air. She was so happy to be out of that horrific swamp, back to the world she remembered when she was first with Dutch. She caught movement in the trees, some Pronghorns grazing in the forest. This could be good hunting grounds when the weather moves into winter. 

“Cathryn? Are you alright?”, closing her eyes at Dutch's voice she slowed down as to not appear rude. He had been on one of the wagons beforehand, must have got off and onto the Count when he saw her riding forward. 

“It’s just been a crazy few days...”, Cathryn said, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. 

“I know you may think I was being harsh...”, he began but Cathryn cut him off. 

“It wasn’t, you did the right thing.”, she looked over to him and saw a sense of relief in his eyes. 

“It means the world to hear you say that.”, she gave him a small smile and continued her pace. “I think things are going to get better for us now, we’re so close. One more score and we’ll take our share and go somewhere new, just you and me.”, he looked to her, gauging her reaction. “I’ve been thinking about it. One of the few things that keeps me going! A nice lodge in a place like this, near some forests that you can hunt in. Maybe a lake where I can fish, maybe teach you how to swim?”, he moved closer playfully, The Count bumping into Rosemary. They seemed to like each other. “A warm fire for those cold winter nights and some fur rugs?” 

“It sounds wonderful.”, Cathryn said, and in that moment, she truly meant it. Somewhere the two could be themselves, not having to worry about the camp or even the law. Dutch reached out to hold her hand, squeezing tightly. 

“And I promise it will become a reality.”, he swore. Then he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed softly. “I just need to keep us all together a little bit longer, can you help me with that?”, Cathryn nodded. 

“You know I’m loyal to you Dutch.”, Dutch smiled, squeezing her hand again as they rode towards their new home. 

*** 

Javier had found a really nice secluded spot, Cathryn thought as she walked into the newly set up camp. It was quiet but not eerily so, she could still hear the birds singing high in the canopy. 

“You’re a nasty woman, Ms. Grimshaw! A nasty woman!”, and then the peace was gone. Cathryn rubbed her face as she made her way over to the disturbance. Surprisingly it was between Karen and Ms. Grimshaw. 

“You think I wanted her to be shot?”, Ms. Grimshaw said in disgust. 

“You seemed to like it! I saw that beady look in your eye!”, Karen was stumbling around, God how drunk was she? “She didn’t deserve it!” 

“Woah!”, Cathryn shouted as she came between the two ladies. “You two need to calm down.”, Karen came up to her aggressively, pushing her away. 

“He’s a murderer! How can you be with such a man?! She was in love!”, Cathryn took a step back, confused, Karen had always seemed to support her and Dutch. Why was she so against it now? 

“I never wished for her death but it's because of her that Hosea and Lenny are dead! Those are the rules Karen, we all know that!” 

“Well don’t come crying to me when he dumps you for a newer and younger model! Go straight to her!”, she pointed to Ms. Grimshaw. “At least you’ll have lots to talk about.”, she then stormed off, knocking some plates onto the ground. 

“Don’t listen to her Cathryn.”, Ms. Grimshaw said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “She’s drunk. Dutch isn’t going to replace you. I’ve seen many women come and go but I promise you are different.”, Cathryn nodded and sat down, playing with her skirt. 

“Everyone seems to say that but I still don’t feel much better about all of this.”, Ms. Grimshaw frowned and sat down with her. 

“You know me, I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. Even despite your fights he is smitten.”, Cathryn twisted the ring around her finger. “You having second thoughts?”, Ms. Grimshaw said, watching her movements. 

“I don’t think so...”, Ms. Grimshaw raised her eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t know, sometimes I feel like I could just take it off and give it back. But then something will happen and it’s like I can’t believe I would ever leave him. We’ll see where this all goes.”, Ms. Grimshaw came closer, an arm around her shoulder. 

“Let me know if you ever do, beforehand I mean. If you need a quick getaway then it’ll be all set up for you. Understand?”, Cathryn nodded. She had no idea how Dutch would react if she decided to leave but she couldn’t imagine him being happy about it. A safety plan was a good idea. She leaned closer into Ms. Grimshaw. 

“Thank you.” 

*** 

“Find anything out about this place then?”, Cathryn asked as she wandered over to Dutch's tent, he was outside with Micah and as much as Cathryn didn’t want to be anywhere near him it seemed as if Micah were stuck to Dutch like glue. 

“Well, I think I found our old friend Mr. Cornwall...”, he said, taking a puff of his cigar. “He’s buying a stake in the mine in Annesburg. Me and Micah are gonna sniff about, see if he knows we are here and what his plans are.” 

“Seems we can’t get away from him.”, Cathryn said, bringing her shawl closer around her. Dutch noticed her discomfort and came closer. 

“It’ll be fine. We’ll be rid of him soon enough...”, he stroked her arm tenderly. 

“Yeah, don’t worry Cathy!”, Micah said, getting up and close to the two of them. “We’ll sort all this shit out and you’ll be nice and safe...”, his smirk made her want to vomit. 

“Oh, I feel incredibly safe around you Micah.”, Cathryn responded, her remark dripping with sarcasm. 

“Look, I don’t know what it is about me Cathy but I want us to be friends!”, Micah said, acting innocent in front of Dutch. “Let’s put the past in the past and move on from this tension between us...”, Cathryn just glared at him, the thought of her being friends with Micah made her sick to her stomach. 

“I’m fine thanks Micah.”, Micah pouted, sagging his head to the side. 

“Oh, this isn’t about me telling Dutch about you and Arthur now is it? I thought we moved past this? Or maybe there's still a little flame in your heart that burns for him...”, Dutch wasn’t able to stop her when she swung her fist towards Micah's face. “You fucking bitch!”, he shouted, grasping at his bleeding mouth. 

“Cathryn, inside now!”, Dutch shouted, Cathryn obliged, bowing sarcastically to the two of them as she went inside the tent, pulling all the flaps down for privacy. She sat on the bed, her blood boiling as she waited for Dutch to come in and tell her off. She looked at the ring again, wondering if this was all worth it. When Dutch eventually came in Cathryn stood up, immediately taking the defensive. 

“I’m not gonna apologise to him if that’s what you want!”, she said, putting her hands on her hips. “He’s a horrible slimy excuse of a man. I’m never gonna like him no matter how much you try to put us together. If you truly love me then you will respect that and if not then you can have this ring back!”, she was panting by the time she finished, caught up in her adrenaline. Dutch just watched her, taking in her every move. 

“I want you on the bed.”, he said quietly, gesturing over to the single bed in the corner of the room. Cathryn looked behind her, confused. 

“What are you on about?”, she asked but there was only certainty in his eyes. 

“I don’t like repeating myself. On the bed, all fours.”, Cathryn took a deep breath, unsure of whether to play along or to run out of the room. She probably should have left but there was something in his eyes that compelled her to stay, she wanted to know what he was going to do. He didn’t seem angry and she knew he wouldn’t take her without her permission. He would stop if she told him to. So, she slowly got up on the bed, crouching down so her bum was in the air and hiding her face in her arms, her shoulder aching slightly under the pressure. 

“What are you doing?”, she finally asked as she felt him come over, his hand softly rested on the small of her back. He moved it down lower, stroking her behind and slowly pulled her skirts up over her bottom. 

“I know Micah was trying to rile you. Believe me, I was not happy with the way he was acting.”, his voice was so soft, she could barely make it out with her head to the pillow. 

“Then why did you shout at me?”, she asked, clenching as she became fully exposed to his eyes. 

“I’ve told you how precarious our position is. How this gang could break at any moment under all this pressure of Cornwall and the law. We need Micah, despite the fact the majority of the gang hate him.”, Cathryn rolled her eyes at the remark. “Punching him in front of everyone is a bad move.”, Cathryn heard the smack before she felt its blistering heat, she was pushed forward by the force, almost falling onto the bed. 

“Fuck!”, she shouted, trying to get back up when she felt Dutch's hand keep her pressed down. 

“You know I love your fire my dear, but right now it would do you to be a bit more subservient.”, he smacked her again. This time she bit down onto her bottom lip to stop her screams. She felt so embarrassed in this situation, that embarrassment was worse than the actual act of spanking. 

“I’m not weak.”, she spat out, prepared for the next spank he gave her. She buried her head further into the bed at the impact. 

“I know. Believe me, you are stronger than you think. But if you have a problem then you deal with it in private from now on. Understand?”, This time it was three consecutives spanks and she felt her ass throb under his ministrations. 

“Crystal clear.”, she said through gritted teeth. He then began stroking her red flesh gently, it didn’t have the calming effect that she hoped for. 

“One more thing...”, he said coming closer to her ear. “Don’t you dare threaten to take that ring off unless you absolutely mean it. I can’t stand empty threats.”, with that he smacked her one more time, harder than any of the others. Cathryn's eyes began to well up, refusing to look at him as he pulled her dress back down. She felt the bed dip as he sat beside her. “Are you okay?”, she opened one of her eyes slightly, watching him through blurry vision. Why did he have to look so concerned? Why couldn’t he just be the type of bastard that walked away and didn’t care about her. 

“I’m fine.”, she said with a sulk, sitting up next to him. “Didn’t have to do it so hard though...”, Dutch smiled and came closer, pushing his nose against hers playfully. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll know for next time.” 

“Next time?”, Cathryn asked. 

“I’m certain you’re bound to mess up again, and I will enjoy it when you do.”, he brought his hand up to ruffle her hair. Cathryn couldn’t help the small smile on her lips. “I love you.”, he said, bringing her in closer to kiss the side of her head. 

“I love you too.”, she said, closing her eyes and resting on his shoulder. 

“You have a hell of a right hook though, I must say.”, Dutch whispered in her ear. “Pretty sure you knocked one of his teeth out.”, Cathryn glanced up. 

“Oh yeah?”, she asked innocently. 

“Yeah.”, he smirked, biting her right lobe gently. “Small part of me that was almost proud.”, Cathryn stood up and turned to him. 

“Better not let Micah hear you say that.”, she whispered, letting him hold both of her hands. 

“He knows where my loyalty lies.”, he whispered back, kissing both of her hands firmly.


	50. Clarity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah, I am pumping out these daily updates! Might go a bit slower over the next few days but I'm really getting back into this story and want to keep going! Thank you for the comments and kudos! Each one means so much to me! Hope you are all doing well :)

Despite what transpired between them, Dutch was still willing to let Cathryn sleep with the girls. Though, after what had happened with Karen, Cathryn was hesitant to get into the tent. Thankfully Karen never returned to the tent that night, instead sleeping outside after having too much to drink. Cathryn felt sorry for her but she knew there wasn’t much she could do, she tried with Molly before and it just didn’t work out. When Cathryn did finally wake up she spent the morning reading some of Hoseas old books, thankfully they hadn’t been lost when they escaped to the swamp. 

“Hey Cathy.”, John said as he walked past her. Cathryn looked up, squinting from the sunlight. 

“Hey John. How are you feeling today?” 

“Better, glad to be back with my family.”, Cathryn smiled, waiting for John to leave but he just stood around, as if he was waiting for something. 

“Is everything alright?”, Cathryn asked trying to coax him on. John was always quiet before; it was strange how adulthood didn’t change him that much. Especially being around Dutch and Hosea. 

“Yeah, I was wondering if you’d like to come fishing with me and Jack. Abigails got things to do and she wants someone to come with us in case of an emergency. She’s just terrified somethings gonna happen again.” 

“Yeah, sounds fun!”, Cathryn said, jumping up and placing Hoseas book on the table. “Any idea where Dutch is?” 

“Think he went off with Micah to Annesburg, Arthurs down there too.”, Cathryn nodded, tying her hair up behind her. “C’mon Jack!”, John shouted, waving his arm in the air. 

“Coming papa!”, Jack shouted back, a big smile on his face as he grabbed his small fishing rod. 

*** 

“That’s a lot of fish!”, Jack said as he looked in the barrel. They had caught quite a lot, the fishing grounds around here were filled with all sorts of fish. 

“Should feed the camp for a while, can’t wait till my arm is sorted and then I can go hunting.”, Cathryn said, stroking her shoulder. The wound was a lot better but she needed to be fully straightened out when she next went hunting, she had no idea what was out there and didn’t want to attract any predators. 

“I like fish.”, Jack said, watching them squirm in the barrel. “I just don’t like catching them.” 

“Well don’t worry Jack, as long as I’m around I can catch them for you.”, John said, ruffling Jacks hair. Cathryn smiled at the interaction, it was so sweet seeing John around Jack. “How about we put up a quick fire now and have some fresh fish?”, he asked, checking with Cathryn. 

“Sounds fun!”, she said, smiling. “I’ll gather up some firewood.”, she stood up and looked around the surrounding area, she didn’t want much. Just enough for a small fire. She looked back at John and Jack, laughing to themselves about god knows what. Her mind went to Dutch then, what he said the other day about John and him doing anything for his family. She wasn’t sure what to believe but she still couldn’t imagine him betraying them like that, not after spending that long fishing and reminiscing about the good old days. Once the firewood was collected she came back and started on the fire, John had already prepared some Trout. It took a while but eventually the smell of hot fresh fish filled the air and John and Jack were tucking into their meal. Cathryn took a bite and immediately gagged. 

“You alright?”, John asked, looking at her in confusion. 

“Yeah, think somethings wrong with the fish...”, Cathryn said, grimacing as she inspected it. 

“It’s fresh fish Cathy, not sure much can be wrong with it. You love trout?”, Cathryn creased her nose and placed it down on the ground. 

“Yeah, I’ll just wait till Pearsons stew I think.”, John chuckled. 

“Suit yourself!”, he then took her fish and ate it, giving a small bite to Jack. When they had their fill the three of them got up, carrying the heavy barrel of fish onto Johns horse. “Easy boy, you can take it! Cathy can you grab Jack?” 

“Yeah sure!”, she said, picking Jack up and placing him on her horse. She then saddled up and the two started making tracks back home. 

“Hey Cathy, did you know Papa when he was my age?”, Jack asked, holding on tight after they had to jump over a fallen tree. 

“Well, maybe not when he was your age. He was about fifteen. So, a lot older than you.”, she smiled to John. “Your papa was just as quiet and broody as he is now, but his heart is definitely a lot bigger.” 

“Thanks.”, John said, hiding his blush behind his long dark hair. “Don’t tell everyone else that, they’ll think I’ve gone soft.”, Cathryn laughed. 

“Don’t worry John Marston, your secret is safe with me.” 

*** 

When they had gotten back, Cathryn found herself drawn in by the cave at the back of camp. No one really knew what was in it other than Dutch and probably Micah so Cathryn decided to do a little snooping of her own. 

“They don’t like people going in there...”, Uncle said as he sat watching her survey the cave. 

“Well, they aren’t here are they?”, Cathryn smirked, her hands on her hips. 

“You go in if you like, the rest of us are more worried about surviving the wrath of Dutch.”, Cathryn rolled her eyes playfully and then after a few moments decided she was going in. It was cool in the cave, a feeling Cathryn instantly loved. While the trees provided necessary shade, the humidity was still unsettling for her at night-time. This place could also provide good shelter if there was a storm. 

Cathryn took a nearby lantern and began to explore the cave; it was very deep and confusingly complex. Charles and Javier told her that beforehand this cave was the home to a sadistic gang that did all sorts of unspeakable things. She wondered in that moment if the cave could be haunted. But there weren’t any animals in here or even many insects other than the occasional spider. When she finally arrived to the end of the cave she found a tall ladder reaching up into what she assumed was an escape route with a table, hundreds of crates and a safe. She knelt down, touching the safe, wondering what could be in it. 

“There you are.”, she heard Dutch say from the other side of the chamber, his voice echoing through the cavern. Cathryn stood up and turned around to face him, a smile on her face. 

“Just looking around our new camp.”, Dutch came closer to her as she paced around the cavern. “Nice and cool down here, might be my new favourite spot!” 

“This is all purely for emergency.”, Dutch said, stopping a few feet away from her. There was something in his eyes that she couldn’t quite grasp. A sign of madness or passion? He wasn’t angry but there was some sort of unstable emotion there. Something about it sent warm waves through her stomach. 

“I see...”, she walked around him and he followed, as if they were taking part in some strange dance. “Dutch, I have a problem...” 

“and what is that?”, he asked, his voice so cautious but with notes of curiosity. 

“Why is it that when we are out there...”, she pointed to the general direction of the caves exit. “I can’t think straight? I’m terrified of what is going on and sometimes feel like I should just quit. I could run away and never come back.”, she saw Dutch's jaw clench in anger. “But then, when it's just us, alone in this cave...all I can think about is how much I want you.”, she felt his shoulders sag as he relaxed slightly. “I feel like I’m going insane Dutch, that there’s two parts of me fighting for control in all of this.” 

“What you feel out there is nothing compared to what you feel in here. Out there is obligation. Out there is societal pressure. What you truly want is how you feel when you’re alone, when there is no one else to whisper in your ear.”, he took a few steps forward. “Forget all of them, choose what you want.”, Her eyes flickered to his face, she knew she would live to regret this afterwards but for some reason her body was just calling to him. She rushed forward, grasping his face in her hands and kissed him deeply. Damn the consequences, she just needed to feel something other than this state of confusion she was currently in. He responded in kind, wrapping his arms around her waist and bringing her closer to him, lifting her off the ground. The two consumed each other, as if they were afraid the moment they stopped the world would fall down on top of them. He laid her down on one of the large boulders and immediately started taking off his waistcoat and shirt while she ripped her blouse off and began work on her skirt. When the two were finally naked they came together once again, running their hands all along each other and placing passionate kisses where they could reach. 

“Damn you Dutch, you’ve turned me into a mad woman.”, she whispered as he pushed her down, fondling her breasts. He plucked at her nipples before bending down and taking one in his mouth. She moaned at the sensation, squirming as his tongue flicked back and forth. She could feel the heat building in her core. 

“Likewise, darling. You’re just as sane as I am...”, the two kissed again, Cathryn moaning into his mouth as he brought his hand down onto her cunt. “Fuck, still so wet for me. You’re mine, aren’t you? Always have been and always will be.”, he played her like a fiddle, knowing every inch of her body from their previous encounters. Teasing and edging her until she was begging for him to let her cum, she could only hope no one would hear them from outside the cave. She would die of the embarrassment. When he finally gave her the satisfaction, he pressed his teeth down hard on her shoulder. She probably would have screamed had she not been trying to make it through the shattering orgasm. They hadn’t done this since they were in Rhodes, both compensating for the time they had lost. 

“Fuck Dutch...”, she whispered into the cold air, her heart hammering in her chest. 

“We ain’t done yet.”, he said, lifting her up into the air and carrying her to the cold stone wall. She hissed at the sensation on her back when he leaned her against it but it wasn’t long before he sheathed himself inside of her. “Fuck.”, he swore, holding himself in her warmth for just a little longer before he began to pound inside of her. Cathryn squealed, grabbing tightly onto his hair as he thrusted deep inside of her. This was different to their sex before; they were rough normally but this time it was primal. Like nothing else mattered but getting as close to each other as physically possible. She flinched as he began to hit her cervix, thrusting her hips to avoid the sensation but it seemed to stir him on even more. 

“Dutch, please, I can’t.”, she whimpered as he continued to pound into her. 

“Yes, you can baby. Just a little more for Daddy.”, he groaned in her ear. A few more thrusts in and he came, filling her up with his hot seed. He moaned as he felt her clench around his sensitive member, burying his face in her neck. Slowly, as he came back to reality he sat down on the floor, curling her up in his lap as they tried to get their breath back. “I could use a cigar, should be one in my pocket...”, Cathryn reached over to his trousers and brought out a cigar and match, Dutch thanked her as he lit the cigar, taking a few puffs. Cathryn leaned against his chest, listening to his fast heart-beat. All she could think about was how warm he was, how she wanted to stay like this forever. 

“I killed Leviticus Cornwall.”, he stated softly, taking another puff. Cathryn blinked, unsure if she heard that correctly. 

“What?”, she sat up and looked at him. 

“I shot him. I gave him a chance to let us go and he refused, so I shot him.”, the two stared at each other for a moment. 

“What have you done?”, she asked in disbelief, her chest tightening. 

“One less thing to worry about Cathy...”, he said softly, stroking her hair out of her face. “One less person we need to run from. I took care of it. We don’t have to worry about him anymore.” 

“This could backfire Dutch...it will backfire.”, she said, pleading with him to see sense. 

“You have so little faith in me.”, he said, his eyes now cold and void of emotion. 

“That’s not true Dutch, I’m just scared!”, her voice now raised. 

“Then let me take care of you! Come back to my tent, I’m tired of this dance we are constantly in! I know what you truly want, what you desire! Ignore the rest of them, what do you want?”, he pressed. 

“I don’t know!”, she shouted, standing up. “but it ain’t this. It ain’t fighting and then sex and then fighting again. I’m not gonna be a quiet mouse for you Dutch! You wanted me to be your partner and that means my opinions, no matter how much you disagree, should matter!” 

“What do you want me to do then? Bring him back from the dead!”, Dutch also stood up, staring her off. “I am creating noise, I am creating chaos! So that when the time is right we can sneak under their noses and find a new home for us! Me and you! That is the dream! Why are you acting like this is all about me?!” 

“Because it is all about you Dutch! I’d be happy for us to just get up and leave today! You and me! Forget everyone else and let them find their own way! There is something that’s keeping you here and it isn’t me. Maybe instead of focusing on what I want you need to look inside yourself at what you want, cause I have no idea these days! I thought I did but obviously I was wrong!”, Dutch looked to the floor, his hands on his hips. He didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know the answer. “Well, when you find out then let me know. You know where to find me.”, and with that she picked up her clothes and left him alone in the cold empty chamber.


	51. I will protect you

Cathryn hadn’t worn her trousers since she moved with the gang to Rhodes, when Dutch snuck into the Hotel bath and they began their affair. But after the murder of Leviticus Cornwall a few days ago, she decided that she wanted to change back, skirts just weren’t practical for her line of work. It was different before but now Cathryn knew she needed to be prepared for all possible eventualities. The change was noticed by Arthur as he came over with two bowls of stew in his hands. 

“New trousers?”, he mumbled, offering her a bowl. 

“What this old thing?”, Cathryn said with a smirk. “Nah, just fancied a change. How have you been?”, she asked softly. She knew he still hadn’t said anything to Dutch yet but she wouldn’t push it anymore. It was Arthurs business and Dutch probably wasn’t in the most stable position to hear that news. 

“Still feel like shit but less so since we left that damn swamp.”, he chuckled, taking a sip of stew. “About the other day with Molly, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking of how hard it was for you. I should have made sure you were okay rather than sharing any conspiracies...”, Cathryn smiled and leant her head on Arthurs arm. A gesture to show she accepted his apology. When she looked forward, she saw a small group of people entering the camp, Charles leading the way. Everyone was immediately on alert, lifting their guns to defend themselves against the intruders. But on closer inspection Cathryn found herself smiling, it was Eagle Flies. She grabbed Arthur by the crook of the arm and pulled him forward, hoping to greet their guest. 

“Eagle Flies!”, Cathryn shouted with a smile on her face. “How are you?”, Eagle Flies smiled sadly and nodded at the pair, shaking their hands. 

“I wish I could have come in better circumstances.” 

“Who is this?”, Dutch asked from across the camp, striding over to see who had caused the commotion. 

“This is Eagle Flies, Dutch. His father is a great chief. Charles, Cathryn and I have helped them out a few times before.”, Arthur said, Dutch glanced over to Cathryn. 

“They did me and my tribe a great favour.”, Dutch reached out his hand which Eagle Flies took gladly. They shook hands and introduced themselves whilst the rest of the camp dispersed. 

“How is your father?”, Arthur asked with concern. 

“Father has confused wisdom with weakness. His people, my people, we have suffered too much. We’ve been lied to too much. Now, they have taken our horses.”, Dutch raised his eyebrows. 

“Who?” 

“The infantry division in Fort Wallace.”, Charles spoke up. 

“Why?” 

“Colonel Favours is a liar and a murderer. His people won’t stop till we’re all dead!”, Cathryn could see the cogs turning in Dutch's head. Watching him weigh up the pros and cons, how helping could affect the camp. He was always a stickler for figuring out the outcome. “Without horses we cannot hunt and if we cannot hunt then we will starve. This is an act of war!”, Dutch nodded with sympathy in his eyes. 

“I see that.”, Dutch said. Eagle Flies took a step closer, looking at Arthur and Cathryn. 

“You have helped me before, I have money.”, he took some bills out of his pocket but Dutch waved his hand, shaking his head. 

“Put away your money, son.”, this surprised Cathryn, Dutch never did anything for free. It wasn’t that he was ruthless it’s just he always stood by the fact that the camp needed money to survive. Why was he turning it down? “What do you think Charles?”, Dutch asked. 

“You know I told your father I will not fight over some horses.”, Charles said, looking at Eagle Flies. A smile began to grow on Dutch’s face. 

“But I made no such promise!”, Cathryn saw Arthur reach for Dutch to speak with him but instead Dutch put his arm on Eagle Flies shoulder and pulled him away. “Come along!” 

“We have to go with them.”, Charles said in hushed tones to Arthur and Cathryn. “Have to try to stop things from getting out of hand”. Arthur looked to Cathryn, waiting for her opinion. 

“He’s right.”, she said. “I care for Eagle Flies and the tribe but this could backfire on not just us but also them if it goes badly.”, Arthur nodded and the three of them followed Dutch and Eagle Flies over to the horses. Cathryn overheard Dutch speaking to Eagle Flies. 

“You gonna let them walk all over you? No! You’re not! This is all that’s wrong with this world!”, Dutch said, noting the three of them joining him. 

“He’s whipping him up into a frenzy...”, Arthur mumbled. 

“Last thing we need is the US army on our tail.”, Cathryn said back. “We’ve got to be cautious.”, Charles and Arthur nodded to her. Within moments they were off, Eagle Flies leading the way. 

“The horses are on a boat near Van Horn, I have a man waiting for us there with canoes.”, Eagle Flies said, Cathryn nodded. 

“Can we do this without killing anyone?”, Cathryn asked, trying to get a scope of the level of danger. 

“Of course, Cathryn. What will be will be.”, Dutch said, riding at pace next to her. “It will be nice for us to spend some quality time together today; it’s been too long since we both went out!” 

“As long as I don’t get killed Dutch!”, Cathryn shouted. 

“You know I will always protect you!”, Dutch shouted back, a smirk on his face. Cathryn rolled her eyes. “Anyway son, tell me about this Colonel Favours!”, his attention now back on Eagle Flies, it was strange to Cathryn watching him call Eagle Flies son. 

“He’s a vile man, he and his regiment take pleasure in persecuting us. All the young have been taken from our reservation, shipped off to reform schools. Women too! The old and weak are sick but they deliberately withhold medicine and supplies from us.”, Cathryn grimaced at the thought. 

“This ends today, you have my word on that!”, Dutch vowed. 

*** 

They stopped by the water's edge and immediately dismounted, walking over to the canoes, a man was there waiting for them. 

“The boat is still moored in the channel we have to wait till nightfall.”, the man said. Dutch nodded, looking down to Cathryn, it wouldn’t take long for the sun to set. She could tell he wanted to talk to her, they hadn’t spoken much since their fight. People were also starting to notice. They sat down though, Cathryn resting her back against a rock and closed her eyes. She needed to save her strength up for whatever came next. 

*** 

Cathryn woke up to Dutch stroking her shoulder, it was night-time and everyone was getting the canoes ready. 

“We’re about to go.”, Dutch said softly. “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, if you need to rest.”, Cathryn shook her head. 

“I’m fine Dutch, thank you.”, Dutch nodded and helped her stand up, the two walking over to a canoe. Arthur was in the same boat as Charles and Eagle Flies whilst Dutch and Cathryn took a canoe with the other man joining them. Cathryn couldn’t see much in this fog, she only hoped Dutch had better vision than her. 

“We’ll paddle up silently, board her and then when we’ve got control we can deal with that anchor and float away.”, Dutch whispered to the team, they all nodded in agreement. “We’ll be ashore before anyone knows what's happened.”, Cathryn could slowly make out the boat with its dimmed lights in the fog, she held on tightly to her rifle. She had never been this scared before a mission before, maybe the setting was bringing out the worst in her. She watched as Arthur and Charles snuck onto the ship and got ready to climb up as well. She grabbed the side of the boat, ready to lift herself up when Arthur grabbed her arms and pulled her up and over the boat. 

“Thank you, Arthur.”, she said softly, watching as Dutch pulled himself over the side. “A guard...”, she whispered, pointing to the other side of the boat, the team dispersed, hiding behind barrels. Arthur snuck up on the guard and knocked him out, well that was one person gone. If they could do this without shedding blood it would be a miracle. Charles and Arthur nodded to each other as they went round the side of the boat to the stables and knocked out another two men. This was going so much smoother than anticipated. 

“See, my sweet? Nothing to worry about.”, Dutch whispered in her ear. 

“Tell me that when we are on dry land...”, Cathryn whispered back, following Arthur to the front of the boat. Three men were playing some sort of card-game and they were just waiting for an opening. “We won’t be able to sneak up on them.”, Arthur nodded grimly and sent a signal to Charles. The three of them took aim and fired, shooting all men in the head so no one could make any alarm. It was as clean as it could be. 

“Well done everyone! Arthur! Deal with that anchor, the rest of us will deal with the horses.”, Dutch shouted. 

“How the fuck do I deal with this anchor?”, Arthur shouted as the other three began quickly moving the horses. 

“I don’t know!”, Dutch shouted. “Just blow up the damn thing!”, there was a moment of silence when suddenly there was a loud bang. Cathryn almost fell at the tremor but Dutch kept her upright, holding her tightly by her arms. “You alright?” 

“I’m fine!”, Cathryn said, pushing away flustered. She saw Dutch frown but then immediately went back to work. Dutch then ran up to the steering wheel to change the boats course but it was just speeding up. “Dutch! Slow the ship down!”, Cathryn shouted. 

“I’m trying! I can’t slow it down!”, he shouted in response. Arthur ran into the stables. 

“The ship is going to crash!”, Arthur shouted. 

“Hold on!”, Dutch screamed, but Cathryn didn’t have enough time to brace for impact before she was slammed against the stable door. 

“Fuck!”, she cried, her back in pain. Arthur, who had managed to grab something, ran over to check on her. 

“You okay? C’mon!”, he picked her up and helped her to her feet, she leant on him for support. 

“There’s a huge hole in the boat!”, Charles shouted, trying to calm the horses that sounded like they were screaming. Cathryn's head felt like it was going to explode. Dutch quickly made his way down to them. “Water is filling up fast and the horses are spooked!” 

“We gotta get them out!”, Cathryn shouted and they immediately worked on the latches, letting the horses go free. 

“Cathryn!”, Arthur shouted, causing Dutch to look in their direction. “You can’t swim! You gotta grab onto one of the horses okay? They should be able to take you!”, Cathryn nodded, though she was secretly terrified of going in the water. Arthur grabbed her hand and pulled her over to the horse he was about to release, there was a rope around his neck. “Don’t pull too tight, don’t wanna suffocate him! Just hold on!”, Cathryn was shaking but she grabbed the rope. “Don’t worry, I’ll be watching you. If you let go, I’ll be there!”, she nodded as he opened the door and the horse ran out, Cathryn only just keeping up once it entered the water. It was freezing cold but Cathryn managed to cling on and even mount him. The rest of the group then jumped in, rounded up the rest of the horses and made their way to shore but Cathryn was still clinging onto the reins when they got on dry land. Arthur ran up to her, offering his hand. “It’s okay, we’re safe now.”, Cathryn nodded, shaking from the cold and impact of the crash. She reached out her hand and let Arthur help her down. When she looked up to thank him, she could just see Dutch staring at them. The words were unable to come out of her mouth. 

“So, seems Uncle Sam likes you even less than he likes us!”, Dutch said, turning his attention to Eagle Flies. 

“So it goes, my father doesn’t want to fight again. Will one of you help return my horses to my men?”, Dutch thought for a moment, looking to Arthur who was stifling a cough. “I’ll go, I would send Arthur but it seems like he needs his rest.”, his glance turned to Cathryn as he came closer, kissing her wet cheek. “Get yourself warm, I’ll be back soon.”, Cathryn nodded, huddling to stop the chill. He turned back to Eagle Flies. “I like you son! After the horses, are we gonna wait for the army to come and wreak its revenge? Of course not! Now, let’s go check out that Fort of theirs!”, Cathryn grabbed onto Dutch’s shirt as he was about to leave. 

“Dutch, is this a good idea?”, she asked softly. Trying to make him see how big and dangerous this was becoming. 

“It is the only idea! It will suit both of our purposes.”, he held her chin between his thumb and finger, stroking it softly. “So, stop worrying.”, he kissed her softly and then mounted his horse. “Get her home and dry and safe.”, he ordered Charles and Arthur before riding off with Eagle Flies. 

“I told him not to do something so foolish!” Charles said, kicking the dirt with his boot. “Could you talk to him, to Rains fall?”, he asked, looking to Arthur and Cathryn. Arthur thought for a moment and nodded, Cathryn stepped up and placed a hand on his arm. 

“I’ll come too.”, Arthur smiled and Charles made a noise of relief. 

“We’ll go tomorrow perhaps when we’re fully rested.”, Arthur said, turning to Cathryn. “Check if you’re okay? You had a bad fall when Dutch crashed the boat.”, Cathryn nodded, she would be fine. She had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, I really hated writing this chapter for some reason! Hopefully I can get over it for the next one! I hope you all are doing really well! Got some cute Arthur protectiveness in this chapter :)


	52. Finding peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I felt quite weird about this chapter. I think I've just hit a little bump in the road but hopefully the next one will be much better! Again, thank you for your support!

The next day Cathryn felt a lot better, there was no longer a chill and whilst her back was aching slightly her head was no longer pounding. When she saw Arthur start to get up and move about the camp she went up to him. 

“Hey Arthur, ready to see Rains Fall?”, she asked quietly. Arthur nodded discretely; Dutch wouldn’t be too happy if he believed they were meddling in his plans to use the Natives to get away. “Alright, let’s go!”, the two began to walk away, hoping Dutch would be too busy reading or planning to see them go. In reality, that isn’t who they should have been watching out for. 

“Off again, Arthur?”, Micah shouted from the other side of the camp, causing Dutch to look in their direction. Micah came up closer to the pair. “Damn. You don’t waste any time, do you? One argument between our lovely couple and you just swoop in to try and take her.”, Arthur just scoffed at Micah in disbelief. 

“What are you on about Micah?”, Arthur asked. 

“I’m just saying that I find it a little strange how close you two have been acting since Dutch and Cathy's little fight. In fact, personally I would say that it isn’t strange but downright suspicious! But you know how Dutch is with you, Cathy. You can’t do no wrong in his eyes.”, Micah glared at Cathryn, his tone now dark. If he was that threatened by her then that meant Dutch still listened to her. Hopefully he would listen now. 

“Dutch!”, she shouted, “Would you come over here please and help me sort this out?”, Dutch stood up cautiously and came over. She could tell he also wasn’t happy by how close Arthur and her were yesterday but she hoped he could get Micah off their back with some common sense. “Do you have a problem with your fiancé doing her part of the work and helping the camp gather more funds?” 

“No.” 

“Do you have a problem with me having back-up in case things go wrong?” 

“No-but...”, he began to say but Cathryn cut him off. 

“Exactly! So you see, Micah, I’m free to go.”, she took a step further towards Micah. “Next time you want to accuse me of something then please try to not pretend like I’m not standing right next to you. I go and come like I please, like everyone in this camp is allowed to.” 

“Cathryn...”, Dutch warned but she ignored him. 

“Nah, it’s alright Dutch.”, Micah drawled. “Must be her time of the month. They always get so emotional.”, Cathryn could have punched him then and there. How dare he bring up her period as if that had any effect on her judgement or emotions, she couldn’t even remember the last time she had one. 

“See Dutch! Maybe you should be more concerned about Micah than Arthur. He’s the one that seems to have some sick obsession with me and my body.”, Micah smirked, raising his hands up in surrender. 

“Just looking out for you, boss.”, he said directed towards Dutch. Dutch regarded him for a moment and then tilted his head to get him to walk away. Thankfully Micah did so, not without sending a quick wink in Cathryn's direction. 

“Are you happy now?”, he asked, watching Cathryn cross her arms. 

“I don’t know Dutch. Do you think I look happy having to deal with shit like that all the time? It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.”, She looked down to the ground, feeling awkward that Arthur had to hear this conversation. 

“You know I trust you.”, Dutch said quietly. 

“Then get Micah off my back, and Arthurs! He listens to you.”, Cathryn begged. Dutch watched her, glanced towards Arthur and nodded. 

“Fine. I’ll make it crystal clear that he’s not to be around you anymore.”, Cathryn sent a small smile then was about to turn around and leave when Dutch grabbed her by the crook of her arm. “Arthur, you go ahead. She won’t be long.”, Arthur nodded, glancing at Cathryn with unease in his eyes. 

“Everything okay?”, she asked, though she knew the answer. Dutch looked as if he had aged a few years for the amount of stress that he was under. 

“I want you back by sundown.”, Cathryn nodded, that was reasonable. “Also, I would like you to come back to my tent. We need to work this out and I don’t think this break we are having is helping. Your wound is fine now, there’s no more excuse.”, Cathryn watched him, he seemed almost nervous. “I want this to work and I think you do too. Give me a chance to make it up to you.”, Cathryn thought for a moment but eventually found herself nodding. She did want this to work and maybe the best place she could be was by Dutch's side to help steer him in the right direction, like Hosea used to. 

“On the condition that I’m your partner, your equal. I want to be heard Dutch.”, Dutch nodded insistently, taking her hands and pressing them firmly to his lips. 

“Be safe out there.”, he asked of her. 

“I will.” 

*** 

“That two-headed, shit-eating slime ball of a being!”, Cathryn shouted as they rode through the plains. “I hate him, I fucking hate him. I’ll knock out all of his other teeth!”, Arthur chuckled to himself, then coughed. His fist patting his chest. “How the fuck does Dutch put up with him? Everyone hates him! There’s not one nice bone in his body!” 

“I hear you Cathryn. But Micah saved Dutch's life and you know that will be in the back of Dutch's head no matter how many bad things he says. Loyalty is everything to Dutch.” 

“Don’t I know it...”, Cathryn sighed, slowing her horse down. 

“What’s the matter?”, Arthur asked, his face full of concern. 

“Dutch wants to try again. I would be fine with that but I’m terrified.”, They both stopped, facing each other. 

“He ever hurt you?”, he asked, his eyes narrowing. 

“Oh no!”, Cathryn said quickly. “I just don’t know how this is gonna go and I don’t know if I can watch it all fall apart again. Dutch has all these dreams, that I once had too, I’m just not sure if they are going to come true. We either have the life that we want or we die, there is no middle ground.” 

“There could be.”, Arthur said. Cathryn looked up. “I don’t think we are gonna last much longer Cathy. If you want to stick with Dutch then that’s fine but if not...I’ve said it before. I’ll get you out of here. I may not last long but I can get you far enough away that you can have a new life of your own. You’re a smart woman, you’ll get far.”, Cathryn smiled for a moment at the gesture but then frowned. 

“Dutch won’t let me go. Me sleeping with the girls in another tent and me running away are two different things. I’d be too scared to make a new life in the event that he would ever find and destroy it.”, Arthur reached other and held Cathryn's hand tightly. 

“If things go as bad as I fear then you may not have to worry about that.”, Cathryn shivered at the thought, looking out into the horizon as a stag grazed on the meadow. 

*** 

When the two arrived at the reservation they found it almost deserted, eerily quiet as well, but eventually they found Rains fall’s tent. 

“Hello?”, Arthur asked and Rains fall came out, inviting the two of them inside. There was a hot fire burning brightly and immediately Cathryn felt warm and safe, despite the fact she had never met Rains Fall before. Arthur had though and he trusted him. Arthur began to cough as the smoke got in his lungs and Rains Fall couldn’t help but notice. 

“That doesn’t sound good.”, he said. “By the way, it’s nice to meet you Miss...?”, he asked, his attention towards Cathryn. She smiled politely, offering her hand for him to shake. 

“You can call me Cathryn.”, Rains Fall smiled and shook her hand. 

“Ahh, Cathryn. My son told me about you. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”, he turned to Arthur, his face then solemn. “I heard you met him yesterday? The impetuous prince. That you went on a raid with him?”, Arthur lowered his head but nodded, it was clear that Rains Fall relationship with his son was just as strained as that of Arthur and Dutch's. 

“I’m sorry.”, Arthur said. Rains Fall didn’t look at him though, just moved to the other side of the tent to press a wet towel on an old woman's head. She looked so incredibly sick. Rains Fall caught them watching him and grunted. 

“I suppose I lack the grandeur of a conventional king?” 

“Maybe, but I think they could learn a lot from you.”, Cathryn said, allowing him a small smile. 

“Colonel Favours has already exacted some measure of revenge for the raid. Two women were assaulted by his men. Sometimes the best path is the least obvious and also the gentlest, I wish my son understood that.”, she thought about Eagle Flies then, how Dutch goaded him into it. He was entirely removed from what the consequences of his influence would have on these people. “I’m a great disappointment to my son. He thinks there is glory in death, maybe he is right, but for me...I saw death being handed out so freely by the most foolish of men. I never could equate it to victory.” 

“I’ve killed a lot of people, for so many dumb reasons, never saw much glory in it.”, Arthur said softly, glancing towards Cathryn. 

“Your friend, Mr. Van der Linde, he talks quite a lot. I don’t know him but my son is easily led.”, Cathryn immediately began to feel awkward, as if she shouldn’t be there to listen to this. But she had to, she had to make Dutch see. 

*** 

They rode up the mountain to see a sacred sight, briefly joined by Captain Monroe who was a Native sympathiser. A dangerous position in the government, he told them. He had been trying to help the natives, to secure them land and medicine and good treatment but it all fell on deaf ears. He was still hopeful though that something could be done. Arthur had even promised to help out if Captain Monroe needed it, Cathryn as well agreed to play any part they needed. Both Rains Fall and Captain Monroe were grateful. 

They spent the journey talking about all sorts of things, Rains Fall was a good listener. They spoke about Eagle Flies and the troubles of the natives. Cathryn even spoke about her relationship with Dutch, Rains Fall was sympathetic despite him believing Dutch was leading his son astray. Arthur even mentioned he once had a son which shocked Cathryn greatly, he had never spoken of it. Then again, the boy and his mother were dead, sometimes it was better to bury the past. Rains Fall even took the time to find herbs and plants that could be used to help Arthur with his Tuberculosis. It wasn’t a cure but it could ease the symptoms. Cathryn wrote down each ingredient needed; she could make a medicine for Arthur when she was back at camp. 

When they finally arrived to the sacred ground, Cathryn was horrified to see that it had been burnt down. Rains Fall ran over to the destroyed structure, trying to search for any remnants that could be salvaged. Arthur and Cathryn also began to look around as Rains Fall tried to describe the object to them. 

“I think people have been here recently.”, Cathryn said as she surveyed the area. “There’s some alcohol over here and an army flask.” 

“They can’t have gotten far with that amount of drink all over the place.”, Arthur concluded. 

“There’s smoke over there!”, Rains Fall shouted, pointing to the distance. Cathryn took out her binoculars to see an army camp, with the same insignia as the one she found on the flask. 

“I think they’re the men that did this.”, Cathryn said, turning to Rains Fall. His face was full of sadness and even a hint of anger. 

“I’ve signed three treaties and they’ve broken each one! I had hoped we would move past this...now they’ve taken the last hope.”, he rubbed his face with his sleeve, she could feel him begin to panic. 

“We’ll find the Chanupa, Rains Fall. I promise you.”, he nodded, instantly comforted by her words. Cathryn looked at Arthur and nodded before the two of them slowly made their way down the hill towards the camp. “We’ll go together, less chance of being spotted. We go in and out, we don’t want them to have any more reason to kill the natives.”. It took them a while to search the camp, there were about five guards and trying to sneak into a camp during the day was tricky, but not impossible. When Cathryn finally noticed the Chanupa, in a bag with other relics behind a guard, she crouched down low and snuck forward. She grabbed each item, placing it quietly within her bag, her eyes wide to detect any movement and quickly moved back into her hiding spot. 

“You’re like a tiny little spider, you know that right?”, Arthur joked quietly. Cathryn shushed him and the two made their way back out to Rains Fall. It felt amazing for Cathryn to leave a mission without spilling blood, she had seen too much these days. When they made it back to the top of the mountain she held the relics out to Rains Fall who immediately thanked them profusely. 

“I hope that’s everything.”, she said and Rains Fall gave her a small smile. “No one was killed. They shouldn’t bother you.’ 

“Thank you. If only my son had shown more restraint. My people owe you a great debt and I can only give very little...”, he began to take some money from his coat but Cathryn stopped him. 

“Don’t. It’s the least we can do to help.”, Rains Fall nodded. 

“You are very kind. I hope that you both will find peace within yourselves.” 

*** 

Cathryn slowly walked into Dutch's tent when she returned home, they managed to return before the sunset but it had been a long day. Dutch looked up, his face almost one of surprise. 

“I didn’t think you would come; I know you said you would but...”, she placed a finger on his lips and then caressed his cheek lightly. Rains Fall was right, she needed to find peace within herself and as much as she didn’t want it, Dutch was a part of her. A part that needed to be fixed; she would do whatever it took to get him back on the right path. That was her mission now. 

“You know I love you Dutch.”, he turned his face to kiss her palm. “Unload your burden on me, let me help you. You don’t need to do this alone.”, Dutch watched her for a moment, as if he were trying to read her. A small seed of doubt that had been planted by Micah was there but for some reason he put it to the back of his mind. He was happy to have her home with him, that was the most important thing right now.


	53. Trust

When Cathryn woke up, hearing Dutch's soft breath on her cheek, she could almost forget everything that had happened over the last month or so. They were no longer being chased by the Pinkertons, everyone they had lost was still alive and Arthur had no tuberculosis. It was a pleasant feeling, one that Cathryn was hesitant to wake up from until she heard Micah shouting at Uncle and Mr Pearson for some strange reason. It wasn’t just her that was disturbed as Dutch started to move from underneath her. 

“Urgh, what time is it?”, He grumbled in a deep, sleepy voice. 

“I’m not sure but I think we both slept in.”, Cathryn said as she cuddled Dutch closer, he was so warm. He tightened his arms around her. 

“I’m not surprised. Best night sleep I’ve had in a while.”, He kissed the top of her head softly, his fingers trailing down her back. 

“Me too.”, Cathryn said, looking up at him with a smile on her face. They relished the quiet time for a moment but eventually they knew they had to get up and start working. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to help with a little job.”, Dutch asked as he started putting on his clothes. 

“Yeah sure.”, Cathryn said, buttoning up a shirt. “What do you need?” 

“Well, we gotta make a lot of noise and I’ve been thinking about the army and the natives. There’s a train that goes through the mountains, mostly army supplies through there, has to go over a bridge. I’m sending John and Arthur to blow it up, thought you might want to tag along. I know how much you used to love blowing shit up and you can keep an eye on them.”, he said, turning around to face her, fully dressed. 

“Really? You want me to blow up a bridge?”, Cathryn said, full of excitement. Dutch was right, ever since Hosea first taught her how to make small bombs and use dynamite, she always loved explosions. But she had never blown up something as big as a bridge before. 

“Why not?”, Dutch said, a grin on his face. “Just keep an eye on those boys, they’ve been all over the place lately.”, He said it with a tone of light-heartedness but Cathryn knew there was something behind it. He still didn’t trust them. 

*** 

“Thought I’d never find you boys!”, Cathryn said as she finally made her way to the bridge, John had already unloaded the dynamite onto a cart. 

“You took your sweet time!”, John shouted, “some of us have work to do!”, Cathryn laughed and jumped off of Rosemary. 

“Damn, that’s a lot of explosives!”, she exclaimed, getting more excited by the minute. 

“Calm down Cathy, we have to get it on the bridge first.”, Arthur said, hauling the last explosives into the cart. “Then we have to get off unless you want to be scattered to the wind...” 

“How is Dutch?”, John asked. “You didn’t sleep with the girls last night. You two back together?”, Cathryn watched John, he didn’t seem curious like he cared for her happiness, more like he was cautious of if he should hold his tongue when talking about Dutch. 

“Yeah, I can’t give up on him. I still see glimpses of who he once was, I won’t leave that until I’m certain he’s gone.”, Arthur glanced up but then nodded, she had made her decision. “That don’t mean I’m gonna snitch though, he annoys me just as much as he annoys you. So, don’t worry about me.”, John nodded. 

“Alright then!”, John said, helping Cathryn get up onto the cart. 

“Looks like we finally found our calling in life!”, Arthur joked as he climbed up and grabbed onto the bar, John grabbed the other end. “Us two working our asses off and little Cathy sitting there, looking pretty, excited to blow this place up!”, they began to move towards the train. 

“Like it was any different from before!”, John smirked. 

“I did my share!”, Cathryn shouted. 

“Oh sure!”, Arthur laughed, “You really got your hands dirty!”, he winked at Cathryn, his voice dripping in sarcasm. They stopped when they got a third of the way onto the bridge and jumped off the cart. “Be careful, it’s a long drop down!”, Arthur said. 

“I’ll climb down to under the bridge, can you two pass me the crates?”, Arthur and Cathryn nodded as they watched John clamber down the ladder. Cathryn took one end of the crate. 

“Shit, this thing is heavy!”, Cathryn groaned, thankful Arthur could take the rest of the weight. They took it to the edge of the bridge and gently lowered it down with the rope. “One more!”, they went back to the cart and did the same thing, it was a lot easier this time. “Nice view, huh?”, Cathryn asked, looking out into the horizon. 

“Yeah, I get what you mean.”, Arthur said, smiling at her. 

“Come on you two! Get down here and help me place them!”, Cathryn laughed at Johns bossiness and quickly made her way down the ladder. “Take one of the bundles and attach them to the fuses on the bridge. I set up the detonator and everything!”, Cathryn nodded and the three of them each took a bundle and walked down the bridge. Cathryn saw a fuse and lodged the bundle into the main support beam, attaching the two together. God, she hoped John managed to do this correctly. She went back to the crate to grab one more and ran to the furthest end of the bridge, attaching it the same way she had the first. 

“That’s all of it!”, Arthur shouted when he finished planting his final bomb. The three of them ran up to the top of the bridge and towards the hand-cart. “God, this better work!”, Arthur exclaimed. 

“You hear that?”, John asked, listening to the wind. Cathryn heard it too, must be a train coming. 

“Shit, we gotta move!”, Cathryn shouted. Arthur jumped up onto the hand-cart as the train came around the corner. “Go!”, the two of them moved up and down in sequence, getting into a good rhythm to outrun the train. It was getting so close though, they might not make it. 

“Get to the end and jump!”, John shouted as the train came within a few feet of them. Unconsciously Cathryn grabbed onto Arthurs hand as they flung themself off the cart and onto the grass beside the tracks. It took them a while to get their breath back, Cathryn could taste the fear in the air, they almost didn’t make it. “Shit, that was something.”, John panted. The three of them stood up. “That ain’t how I wanna die...” 

“No sir...”, Arthur said, wiping some sweat from his forehead. “Let’s go blow this thing up.”, John nodded and the three of them walked over to the detonator that John had set up. 

“You want the honours, Cathy?”, John asked, looking over to her. She had a huge grin on her face. “Not sure if I set it up right...” 

“Are you kidding? Give up the chance to blow up a bridge? You must be out of your mind John Marston!”, Cathryn exclaimed, grabbing onto the detonator. “Hold onto your hats boys!”, she shouted, pushing down on the trigger. She watched each of the bombs exploded, flashes of yellow and orange as the bridge collapsed. The sound was deafening but she loved every moment of it. 

“Hopefully that’s enough smoke for Dutch!”, Arthur shouted, fanning himself with his hat. “Not sure how it's meant to detract attention from us but there we go...” 

“Yeah, I don’t even think Dutch knows what he’s planning for anymore.”, John said, watching the last parts of the bridge fall. Arthur patted John on the shoulder. 

“Like I said, when the time is right then take your family and go.”, John nodded then glanced towards Cathryn. 

“It’s fine John. If you want to leave then you should.”, Cathryn said, offering a hand of support. 

“What about loyalty?”, John asked. 

“We’ve been loyal, all of us.”, Cathryn said, holding hands with the two boys. 

“All that ever mattered to me was loyalty because that was all I knew. It was all I ever believed in...but not anymore.”, Arthur said, looking to Cathryn. “There is so much more now in this world, I wish I had only seen it sooner.”, he then turned to John. “You’ve gotta leave, gotta get some cash and create a life for yourself.”, John climbed onto the wagon and thought for a moment, like he wanted to say something. He turned towards Cathryn and in that moment made a decision to trust her. 

“Abigail said something a while ago. I think Dutch has a lot more money than he is letting on.”, Cathryn raised her eyebrow. “She thinks she knows where it is...”, if that were true then her and Dutch could have left ages ago, if it was true then he had been lying to her all this time. 

“Make sure that she is sure.”, Arthur said. “And if she is then get her to talk to me. We’ll find out just who and what we should be loyal to.”, Arthur turned to Cathryn, his face full of sympathy. Cathryn nodded, she agreed that they needed to know what money was hidden away. God knows she didn’t want to believe a word of what Abigail was saying but if it was true then everything Dutch told her had been a lie. “I wish things were different Cathy...but it weren’t us who changed...”


	54. Futility

As Arthur, John and Cathryn made their way back into camp, they were surprised to see Trelawny packing his belongings in cases. The camp was quiet and neither Micah nor Dutch were around. Trelawny therefore was making no attempt to hide the fact he was running away. He glanced behind his shoulder and jumped back in shock as he saw the three of them walking over. 

“I...I was just...um...”, he spluttered, his face going red. 

“Leaving again?”, Arthur asked as if this had happened before. Cathryn remembered him saying that Trelawny came and went as he pleased, she didn’t understand why that made him so anxious now though. 

“Yes, I’m leaving...”, Trelawny sighed, defeated. He sat down on one of his cases and rubbed his face with his hands. “I will see you soon, I always do!”, he tried to smile but it looked more forced than anything. 

“Perhaps.”, Arthur said, coughing behind his fist. 

“What do you mean?”, Trelawny asked. 

“Well, if I were you, I would probably disappear too...”, Arthur said, Cathryn looked around to make sure no one could hear them. She loved Dutch but if people wanted to leave the gang, they should be able to without fear of repercussions, she only wished Molly had the same option. “We all know this is pretty much over.”, Arthur glanced over to Cathryn, Trelawny following. Cathryn nodded her head in silent agreement. 

“I will be back!”, Trelawny said with a smile, Cathryn could tell it was a lie. 

“No, you won’t.”, John said, a sympathetic smile on his face. “No more pretending Trelawny.” 

“It’s alright Josiah, you can go.”, Cathryn encouraged, a supportive smile on her face. “Maybe one day we will see each other again.” 

“You have been fine friends, all of you. I wish I’d have known you for longer Cathryn.”, He squeezed her hand tightly and stood up. “What about Dutch?” 

“I won’t say anything.”, she promised, he nodded in thanks. 

“Go, while it’s quiet.”, Arthur said, gesturing to the camp. “You have our blessing.”, Trelawny nodded, patting each of them on the back before taking his bags and riding off to a new direction. 

*** 

An hour had passed; Cathryn was sewing up some of Arthurs shirts when Charles came into camp with Rains Fall in tow. It hadn’t been long since they had seen each other and thankfully Dutch still hadn’t returned to camp. He didn’t need to know they were trying to repair the damage he was making. He came up to her, Arthur also joining the conversation. 

“I’m sorry to come again but I need your help. I believe I have made progress brokering peace. Colonel Favours has agreed to a meeting to discuss, and perhaps resolve his alleged grievances and mine. He has lied to me more times than I care to remember but maybe this time he might want peace.”, Cathryn grimaced, it didn’t seem like a safe idea but she knew he couldn’t ignore this opportunity. 

“We’ve got a word for his kind but they’re colloquial...”, Arthur grumbled, causing a chuckle from Rains Fall. 

“My men are not allowed to carry arms...”, Rains Fall continued. 

“So, you want us to keep the peace?”, Arthur asked. Rains Fall sighed but nodded, he didn’t want to admit it but they needed protection. 

“It will be a lot of dull talking and ceremony but I feel with non-tribe members present, their chances of lying or worse will be reduced.”, Cathryn nodded, she could see how it was a smart move. 

“I’m not sure...”, Arthur began. 

“I’ll do it.”, Cathryn volunteered, Arthur looked at her concerningly. “I can’t give up on peace Arthur.”, Arthur sighed then rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, I’ll come too.”, he said, coughing. 

“Thank you. Charles will show you the way, we will ride together.”, Rains Fall said, gripping onto the two of them tightly. 

*** 

This peace talk was one of the most painful things Cathryn had to watch. Having to stand back whilst Colonel Favours twisted the truth, painting the natives as criminals, whilst he hoarded medicine and food. She had no idea how Rains Fall could stay so calm. Everything Colonel Favours was saying was lies, it was no wonder that Eagle Flies believed violence was the only way. Cathryn was brought out of her trance when she saw Arthur coughing wildly, it was more of an attack than a spurt, she could tell he was struggling. 

“Are you okay man?”, Colonel Favours shouted at Arthur. Cathryn stepped forward. 

“It’s alright, I’ll take him over to the tent.”, she shot a sympathetic glance to Charles and put her arms around Arthur. “Come on Arthur, this way.”, the two of them staggered over to the tent and she sat him down. 

“Thank you...”, he managed to say before coughing again. Cathryn looked around and found a jug of water, offering him some. He took it gladly. As she watched him try to pull himself together, she heard whispers from the back of the tent. She stood up slowly, moving closer to have a listen. 

“Apparently, he’s going to have Monroe court martialed...or attempt to anyway...”, one voice said. “Going to make a disgrace of him...” 

“Monroe, why?”, Arthur looked over to her. She gestured for him to come closer and listen to what she was hearing. 

“Favours does what he likes and he always thinks he's right. Thinks Monroe is some kind of patsy or spy.”, Cathryn looked up to Arthur, worry covered her face. “Convinced he had something to do with those stolen vaccines...He thinks Monroe is gonna force him into making a concession with the Indians. He’s gonna try him for treason...and he’s gonna hang...” 

“Poor Monroe, I kind of like him...” 

“We have to stop this Arthur.”, Cathryn said. “We can’t let someone like Monroe die...”, she whispered. Arthur nodded in agreement. 

“Let’s go back.”, Arthur said, the two of them left the tent and headed back to the negotiation table where they saw Favours shouting at Rains Fall. Anger filled Cathryn quickly, she wanted nothing more than to see men like him dead. It seemed Rains Fall also had enough as he swiftly stood up when he saw the two of them return. 

“Good day Colonel Favours.”, he said, moving to leave on his horse with Charles beside him. 

“Well, that was remarkably unproductive...”, Captain Monroe said, Arthur moved to speak to Charles quietly about what they had heard. “I’m afraid the Federal Government was quite clear, Colonel. It wants peace and peace for all and that the treaty had not been broken by anybody!” 

“Oh is that so sir?”, Colonel Favours hissed, standing up. Cathryn whipped her head around to watch the exchange. “Did it also want impudence from a junior officer in public? Was that it’s plan too, sir? You insult me! You insult this regiment! Arrest this man!”, Captain Monroe stood up confused. 

“Arrest me?”, he asked in shock. 

“Gross insubordination! Disobeying an order! Treason!”, Favours shouted like a child. 

“Are you mad?” 

“You had those vaccines stolen and you disrupted a negotiation!”, Favours then jumped backwards as he watched Arthur grab a hostage with a gun at his head, Charles took aim at the Colonel and Cathryn joined them, aiming her rifle at one of the men standing by Favours. They were all in a stand-off, with Captain Monroe in the middle. 

“Please, this is getting out of hand.”, Captain Monroe tried to say, he had no idea the danger he was in. 

“Captain Monroe, let’s get out of here.”, Arthur shouted, gesturing to the horses behind them. Captain Monroe looked around and nodded, quickly walking over to the horses. “Mount up everyone, we’re getting out of here.”, Cathryn nodded and keeping her eyes on the guards she took several steps backwards till she mounted Rosemary. She watched until Arthur got to his horse, throwing the hostage away as he jumped onto his steed and galloped away, dodging the rainfall of bullets upon them. They rode fast and swerved the trees as they caught up to Captain Monroe. 

“Get ready for some action!”, Charles shouted as he got his rifle out. “Here they come!”, Cathryn looked to her left as she saw two riders coming for them, she aimed her gun and shot at one, catching him in the side. The force was so great he fell off of his horse, almost knocking over the other man who had been shot in the head by Arthur. 

“You’re getting better at this Cathy!”, he joked. 

“Must be all this recent practice!”, she shouted back as they rode down the mountain. The screams of Captain Monroes horse were deafening as he fell onto the ground. 

“Shit!”, Arthur shouted. “Cathryn, Charles! Take Captain Monroe into the trees, I’ll catch you up.”, Cathryn nodded, jumping down from Rosemary and helping Monroe on his feet. The three of them ran into the dense forest as Arthur rode around them shooting anyway who came near them. 

“Hide here.”, Cathryn said as she got Monroe behind a large tree stump. She took cover and looked above her, shooting at any figure she saw in the distance. Whilst the trees provided ample cover it also meant that finding her targets were a lot more difficult. “There’s too many of them!”, she shouted. 

“Wait for a lull and then head to the valley!”, Arthur shouted as he shot two more guards. Cathryn took aim and fired at three of them, Charles taking another two. Monroe just looked as if he were in complete shock at what was going on. 

“It’s now or never!!”, Charles shouted after a few moments of silence. “Let’s go!”, the four of them then took to their horses, Monroe riding with Arthur and headed down to the valley. “We don’t want to hang around here any longer.”, As they rode down to the tracks even more guards seemed to appear. 

“How many are there?”, Cathryn shouted as she shot one in the head. 

“That should be the last of them.”, Charles said, groaning as he took a few more shots. All the guards fell to the floor. “What are we gonna do now?” 

“First we’re gonna take Monroe to the station, so he can get out of here and fast!”, Arthur said, Captain Monroe nodded his head in agreement. 

“I can’t believe that just happened.”, he finally said. “I’ve been an army man my whole life!” 

“They were gonna hang you for treason.”, Cathryn said. “We overheard it in the tent.”, Captain Monroe looked at her in shock and shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t die for those fools.” 

“What about the chief?”, Charles asked. 

“We’ll do what we can.”, Arthur replied. 

“Which isn’t much. The government have made it clear they aren’t willing to negotiate. They don’t want to help the natives.”, Cathryn said out of spite, if only Dutch could hear her now. Charles looked at her with concern. 

“If they attack like Eagle Flies wants, they will die.”, he tried to reason. 

“And if they do nothing they will starve and die.”, Cathryn said. “You heard how Colonel Favours painted them, it made me sick.”. Charles had nothing to respond with and so kept quiet, his head down. When they finally made it to the train-station she breathed a sigh of relief. It was over for now. They all dismounted from their horses and made their way to the train station, watching as Monroe bought a train ticket and climbed aboard. 

“Start a new life!” Arthur said. “I hear Tahiti is nice...”, he joked, nudging Cathryn. “Go to Saint Denis and jump on a boat! Avoid Guarma...”, Captain Monroe turned to look at them. 

“Thank you.”, he said, ignoring Arthurs jokes, before heading off into the carriage. The three of them looked at each other. 

“I’m going to check on Rains Fall, tell him what happened. Meet you back at camp...”, Charles said. 

“I’m going home, you coming Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, he looked around the station and spotted a lone woman on a bench. 

“I’ll see you later. Someone I need to talk to.” 

*** 

By the time she got back to camp it was dark, she walked into Dutch's tent to see him reading on the bed. He looked up and upon seeing her quickly stood up, taking her face in his hands. 

“Where were you? I was worried. John said you went off with Charles and Arthur but had no idea where you were.”, Cathryn smiled and kissed one of his hands. 

“I was helping a friend, he’s okay. The others should be back soon.”, Dutch nodded, happy to change the subject. He sat down back on the bed and smiled at her. “You think the government will ever truly treat the natives fairly?”, she asked softly, watching him frown and think for a second. 

“No.”, he said plainly. “They won’t stop till they’re dead...till we are dead...” 

“So, our deaths are inevitable?”, she asked, sitting next to him. 

“Well, of course death is inevitable. No one ever lived forever.”, he turned to her, lifting her chin up with his two fingers. “What matters is what we do with our lives, the differences we can help make.” 

“What if this is all futile Dutch?”, she asked. “what if we can’t make a difference? No matter how hard we try...”, she rested her head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“I thought I raised you better than that Cathy...”, he teased. “We can all make a difference.”


	55. Reward

“Oh, I bought you a little something...”, Dutch said as he came back into their tent with a hot cup of coffee. Cathryn took it gladly, hoping the drink would wake her up, she didn’t sleep very well last night. Dutch turned his back and walked over to some crates, pulling out a large box with a ribbon around it. A little something indeed, she sniggered. He smiled softly as he gave it to her, watching intently as she placed her coffee on the side table and opened the box cautiously. She lifted the lid of the box and looked down at a soft sage green dress, it looked formal and expensive with ruffles and a bow. 

“What’s this for?”, she asked curiously, lifting up the dress and rubbing the material with her fingers. 

“I told you that Colm O’Driscoll had been arrested, well today he hangs...”, Cathryn lifted her eyes to meet his. “and... I got us two front row seats, with Arthur and Sadie of course.” 

“Hasn’t he escaped before?”, Cathryn asked unsure. The last thing she wanted was for them to all end up in Saint Denis where someone could recognise them. She wanted Colm dead but she didn’t want to follow him to the gallows. 

“Don’t worry love, I have sorted out everything...”, he grabbed onto her hand, squeezing it tight. “Now, go put on that lovely dress I bought you and meet me by The Count when you’re done, we’re meeting the others in a bar.”, Cathryn nodded, watching as Dutch left the tent. She stood up slowly, pulling the dress against her as she watched herself in the mirror. She felt nothing but uncertainty of the person staring back at her. 

*** 

They had ridden into Saint Denis on The Count together, Dutch said he wanted to keep her close and he did the entire journey there. His hands had wandered around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. Several times she had to remind him to keep his eyes on the road but there was something playful about him today, she couldn’t blame him however, his arch enemy was set to die today. When they pulled up in front of the bar, he hopped off the horse and bowed deeply with a grin on his face, offering his hand. Cathryn could help but giggle at the action, she loved when he acted silly like this. It was like old times. 

“Thank you sir!”, she said in an overly posh voice as she took his hand and came off his horse. He smirked, spinning her around and giving her a soft kiss to the cheek before taking another package off his horse. He opened the door for her as they went into the bar, both Arthur and Sadie were already there. 

“So, today’s the day...”, Sadie said as she took another drink. “the bastard is gonna die...”, she was definitely drunk, something Dutch noted straight away. 

“Y’know, if you dress like a lady, you’re gonna have to act like one...”, he said, throwing her one of the packages. 

“Don’t you worry about me...”, Sadie grumbled, placing her drink firmly onto the bar. 

“I’m not counting anything till his neck is broke.”, Arthur mumbled as the four of them walked over to a small stall. Dutch opened the door and pushed Sadie inside so she could get dressed. 

“Nor would I...”, Dutch said under his breath, “But I’ve got everything sorted, trust me.”, he opened the other box and took out a hat, it looked exactly like the ones the police wore. “We are gonna disguise ourselves...”, he gave Arthur one of the hats and a long blue coat. Arthur looked at the disguise in disbelief but Dutch had the same cheshire grin that he had this morning. 

Sure...”, Arthur said, rubbing the back of his head. “This is gonna be fun...” 

*** 

By the time the three of them had changed they came out the back of the bar into a small alleyway. Sadie was wearing a bright yellow dress; it definitely didn’t look as expensive as the one Dutch had bought Cathryn but it would do for the event. Sadie rolled her eyes playfully as she compared the two of them. 

“Wow Dutch, you don’t have favourites do you?”, she said sarcastically. Dutch smirked and pulled Cathryn close to him. 

“No, definitely not...”, he whispered, kissing her lightly under the ear. Cathryn laughed at the sensation, pulling away from him. 

“You two look dapper in your new uniforms.”, she said, taking in both Dutch and Arthur. Arthur scoffed as he tugged on the collar. 

“I feel stupid...” 

“And you will look stupid if you don’t play the part!”, Dutch said, “Confidence is always key...”, Cathryn smirked at Arthur as she took Sadie by the arm and walked in front of them. They didn’t want to raise suspicion by being as close in a group as they were. 

“You doing okay?”, Cathryn asked Sadie softly, she glanced behind her to see the men talking. 

“I’m fine, I’m more than fine.”, Sadie said, patting Cathryn's hand. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time...my husband will finally be avenged...”, Cathryn nodded as they made their way through the alleys. “What did Colm do to you? Other than the kidnapping of course...”, Cathryn grimaced at the flashback, she never wanted to think about that night again. 

“Dutch said he was the one that killed my family. We had only been in the country for a short while before their carriage was mugged, I only just managed to get away. That was when Dutch found me...”, Sadie regarded Cathryn sadly. 

“He will pay, for all of it.”, Sadie promised. “Even if I have to kill him myself.”, when they finally made it to the gallows, Dutch came up to them. 

“Don’t the public love an execution...”, he commented as they looked out on the scene, there was a huge crowd in front of the gallows. It seems they weren't the only ones who wanted to watch him die. “Now, everything has been set up so there should only be a couple of Colms men here at most. Arthur is gonna take the high ground and look out for any trouble, Sadie you focus on that man over there...”, she pointed over to a lone man swaying with a drink in his hand. “Hopefully there will be no trouble but you never know these days...” 

“Surely there should be more of them...”, Arthur said confused. 

“I took care of it.”, Dutch said, placing his hand on the small of Cathryn's back. 

“Alright then, I’ll head up on that roof...”, Arthur replied, Dutch nodded. 

“Be careful.”, Cathryn said, Arthur smiled softly and then walked away. “What about us?” 

“We keep an eye out, but other than that we get to watch the show...”, Dutch smirked, the three of them walking towards the gallows. “Keep an eye on him...”, he reminded Sadie, she nodded, walking closer to Colms man. “Are you ready my dear?”, Dutch asked. 

“I guess so, I haven’t seen him since the kidnapping...”, she said, glancing around, she had no idea why she felt so nervous. 

“Well, this will be the last time you do see him.”, Dutch promised, the backs of his fingers stroking her arm. 

“For as long as any of us can remember, it is justice that separates us from barbary!”, an official claimed as he got up on the stage. “Yet justice at times can be just as barbaric...Sometimes a man is so savage that the only way to deal with him justly is by savagery.”, Cathryn watched as Colm O’Driscoll, bound and gagged was taken to the stage. “Colm O’Driscoll has murdered, tortured, robbed, stolen, raped and abused for a decade across five states. Seemingly with Impunity.”, his gag was then taken from him for his last words, Colm swayed, giggling to himself. He wasn’t taking this seriously at all. 

“As you may, I’ve been a bad man!”, he laughed. “But these charges-” 

“Silence!”, the officiator said, ordering Colm to be gagged again. “This is not a court where you shall be tried, this is where your sentence is carried out.”, Cathryn took an eager step forward, Dutch followed. He was so close she could feel his body behind her. His hands went around her waist as he pulled her further into him. 

“Do you like my gift to you?”, he asked softly as the officiator kept talking. Cathryn looked over confused, did he mean the dress? “All of this, I have done for you...”, he whispered in her ear as he watched Colm squirm. “It wasn’t easy trying to set up Colm, it took weeks of hard work but it’s now done. No one’s coming to save him Cathy, I’ve tied up all my loose ends...” 

“You are to be hanged by the neck until you are dead...”, Dutch rested his chin on top of her head, no longer caring of his disguise. She saw Colm watch the crowd, looking for a face he recognized. The only one he saw was Dutch, that was when he began to panic. 

“No one will dare take you from me again...”, Dutch promised, his grip tightening. “I would kill thousands of men to keep you safe. That is the kind of man I am.”, Cathryn felt her heart hammer in her chest. The noose was placed around Colms neck. 

“This is not a task we take lightly...”, Colm was beginning to shake now, she could see the sweat dripping from his head. She felt Dutch's fingers slowly massage the right side of her pelvis. 

“I know how much you want this...”, Dutch whispered, his eyes not leaving Colms as he thrust his hard cock into Cathryn's back. “No matter how much you try and deny yourself, that’s fine. I can be the bad man if that’s what you want me to be...” 

“Dutch...”, she whispered, watching Sadie pull a knife on the man next to her. There was no way out for Colm now. She was so overwhelmed by everything that was going on. 

“Gentlemen...”, the officiator continued, “are we ready?”, there was a slight shake of Colms head. He wasn’t ready to die. She could feel the fear radiating off of him, a small part of her enjoyed it, enjoyed what Dutch had done for her. What she knew he would always do for her. “Colm O’Driscoll. May God, in his infinite wisdom, have mercy upon your soul.”. She watched as the floor came out from beneath Colm O’Driscoll, as he fell to the floor but was caught by the rope around his neck. The death wasn’t quick, he struggled for a few moments as he gasped for air but then his body went limp. She felt Dutch kiss the top of her head. 

“Thats my girl.” 

*** 

“Well, that’s that then. The bastard is dead...”, Arthur said as he finally joined them. 

“The rest aren’t though.”, Sadie grumbled. 

“Thank you for keeping your composure Ms. Adler.”, Dutch said. “You two may go now, expect us back tomorrow.”, Cathryn glanced around to Dutch, unsure of what he meant. “I’m sure you can hold down the fort?”, Arthur nodded, his eyes flitting to Cathryn. “Good, see you both tomorrow.”, Dutch then took Cathryn by the arm and escorted her down one of the alleys. 

“Tomorrow? What are we doing?”, Cathryn asked. 

“Celebrating. Don’t worry, everything is all planned out...”, he smirked pulling her through another alley until they came out to a main street, opposite was a high-class saloon. Dutch took his disguise off and dumped it in the alley as he pulled her along to the establishment. She could hear the music from here, it sounded like a lively place. 

“Been here before?”, she asked. 

“Once a few years back, I know you’ll like it.”, he opened the door and the two of them walked in, being greeted by a small orchestra. There were tables around the outskirt with a small dancefloor in the middle that was occupied by various men and women in fine clothes. “We’ll take a table!”, he signaled to one of the waiters. Cathryn smiled as they walked over to a small table in the corner of the saloon, it was dim with soft candlelight. 

“Very romantic...”, she commented playfully. 

“Only the best for you my dear.”, he said genuinely, reaching out his hand to take hers. “We haven’t had time to ourselves for a while, I thought that needed to change.” 

“Well, it’s very thoughtful. Thank you.”, she smiled, squeezing his hand in return. 

*** 

“Two apple strudels.”, the waiter said as he offered the two their desserts. Cathryn was incredibly full but when she saw they had strudels on the menu she couldn't say no. They were her favourite, reminding her of the time Dutch and Hosea took her to get one the first winter she was with them. 

“Wait for it to cool, or you’ll burn yourself.”, Dutch warned but Cathryn took no heed as she cut up the strudel, watching the hot air release from the pastry. “Cathryn...”, Dutch said again but Cathryn stuck her tongue out as she took a bite, immediately seizing up and wriggling in her seat. Fuck, it was hot. “I told you!”, Dutch said, Cathryn quickly swallowed the pastry with wet eyes. 

“Ow...”, she whimpered, taking a sip of wine. 

“That happens everytime...”, Dutch grumbled as he cut up his strudel. 

“I can’t help it!”, Cathryn laughed, nudging Dutch with her foot. “You know how much I love my sweets...”, Dutch then finally gave in, chuckling to himself. 

“How about a dance then, while we wait for this to cool?”, Cathryn looked out to everyone dancing. She smiled and looked back to Dutch. 

“Deal, but no one better take my strudel!”, she stood up. 

“My dear, if it pleases you, I will buy you all the strudels in this establishment.”, Cathryn laughed as Dutch pulled her into his arms. 

*** 

“You are quite the dancer aren’t you, Mr. van der Linde?”, Cathryn joked as she pushed him into the street playfully, the wine had made her head start to spin. 

“and you my dear...”, he kissed the top of her hands. “have two left feet...”, Catheryn laughed as she pulled him close. 

“That’s mean...”, she said, nuzzling into him as he led the way. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”, he promised as he stopped in front of a grand hotel. Cathryn looked at it, then back at Dutch. “Your abode for tonight my dear...”, he gestured towards the hotel. Cathryn scoffed. 

“We can’t afford that.” 

“You can’t but I can...”, he stepped forward, a smirk on his face. 

“The camp can’t afford that.”, she reiterated, Dutch was always going on about how the camp never had enough money. 

“My personal funds...”, he emphasised, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and escorting her into the building. She felt so out of place here but Dutch was taking it all in his stride. “One room for Raoul Blackwood please, finest you’ve got.”, the man behind the counter nodded and quickly grabbed a room-key. Cathryn was shocked by the price of the room but even more so to see Dutch take out a wallet full of dollar bills. Dutch tipped his head to the gentlemen and the two of them followed him to their room. 

“Here you go Sir, enjoy your stay.”, the man said before scurrying along. 

“Oh, I intend to...”, he whispered in Cathryn's ear, pulling her into their room. It was exquisite, not as gaudy as Brontes home but still more wealth than she could expect in a lifetime. 

“You’ve outdone yourself Dutch...”, Cathryn said, walking around the room in awe. “If the others found out...”, she whispered, rubbing her hands together, she felt so guilty to stay here whilst they slept on the ground tonight. 

“Forget about the others.”, Dutch said, walking behind her and pulling her into him. “It’s just you and me here...”, he then spun her around and pulled her into a passionate kiss, pushing them both against the wall. Cathryn let loose, running her fingers through his dark hair and pulling slightly as he devoured her. “What a pretty dress I bought you, shame I’m gonna have to take it off...”, he chuckled, moving his head so he was now spreading wet kisses across her neck, biting down every so often. 

“Shame you had to take off the uniform...”, Cathryn joked, moaning as his hands ran across her breasts. 

“Now that’s a fantasy I can get behind...”, Dutch laughed as he span her around, pressing her against the wall as he undid the ties on her dress. “You wanna be punished that badly?”, he whispered into her ear, pressing his length against her. When he was done he pulled her dress from her and pushed her onto the large bed. 

“I’ve been a good girl.”, Cathryn smirked crawling backwards to the top of the bed as she watched Dutch undress. 

“Recently you have but don’t push it...”, he teased, following her. “Damn, this bed is soft. Gonna be like making love to you on a cloud...”, he moaned, pulling her underneath him. 

“Is that what we’re doing tonight?”, she asked, stroking his cheek. “Making love?”, Dutch bent down and kissed her softly, caressing her face. 

“Of course, my dear...”, he then pulled up and nipped at her nose. “Then I can fuck you later.”


	56. Uncontrollable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone for the super long hiatus, don't worry, I will finish this story!! This is only a short chapter but I promise the end is in sight! Thank you to everyone that has supported me and this story <3

Cathryn woke up to the feeling of rough stubble across her stomach as Dutch kissed her lightly across her torso. Her eyes fluttered open as she saw sunlight streaming through the curtains, she could hear the bustle of Saint Denis, the day had already begun. She moaned, stretching her arms upwards and then letting the fingers on her right hand thread themselves in Dutch's hair. 

“Good morning...”, she mumbled, more than happy to let sleep take her again. She heard Dutch chuckle as he pulled himself forward, his breath now fanning across her face. 

“So beautiful...”, he whispered kissing her cheek. “So perfect...”, he kissed the tops of her eyelid. “And all mine...”, he captured her lips then, her eyes now fully open. She clung onto him, hands around his neck as he kissed her passionately, clearly no longer sated after last night. When they finally finished, she looked at Dutch, noticing how he was fully clothed. 

“Do I have to wake up now?”, she asked sadly, a frown on her face. Dutch sighed and nodded, standing up and helping her out of bed. “It was fun while it lasted...”, she said, turning around to grab her clothes. Dutch followed her and pulled her body to him. 

“It doesn’t have to end.”, he whispered, kissing her temple. She stayed there, enjoying the warmth and solitude. She wished they could stay like this forever, never have to leave. 

“Yes, it does.”, Cathryn admitted, turning around and placing a hand on his chest. “Here I can pretend everything is fine, here I can forget...” 

“Forget what?”, Dutch asked quizzingly. Cathryn looked up, realising what she had just said and shook her head. 

“It’s nothing, I’m just tired.”, Dutch observed her for a moment, weighing up whether he should push her but then decided against it. Instead, he smirked, swaggering before her in a playful manner. 

“No doubt, I did push you to the limits last night. I’m surprised you can walk straight...”, Cathryn laughed, her mind now back to Dutch. Her laughter spurred him on. “Maybe I should carry you to the Count, just in case...”, he whispered hotly in her ear. Cathryn went red and swatted him away, giving her time to finally get ready. When both of them were finally ready to leave, Dutch opened the door for her and thanked the staff on his way out, Cathryn could only imagine the gossip when the staff would see the state of the room. 

“Fun night?”, Sadie said, appearing out of nowhere with Arthur in tow. Cathryn saw Dutch stiffen slightly but a smile graced his face when he turned to talk with her. 

“The best, I think it may be our new favourite spot.”, Dutch replied, pulling Cathryn to him. Arthur sent a small smile her way that she returned in kind. 

“Expensive hotel...”, Sadie pointed out, “how’d you get a room?”. Cathryn felt Dutch's grip tighten around her, the tension became suffocating. 

“I had a favour called in...”, Dutch lied seamlessly. “What are you doing here anyway?” 

“I got a lead. Colm may be dead but the rest of those bastards aren’t, me and Arthur are gonna sort out the stragglers. Either of you want to join us?”, Sadie asked, decidedly over the topic of the hotel. 

“We should be onto bigger and better things now Ms. Adler!”, Dutch exclaimed. “But if you have time to finish this crusade then you have my blessing. Make sure you pick up anything valuable...I know you’ll do a good job.”, Sadie nodded and turned to Cathryn. 

“I’m going to go with Dutch.”, Cathryn said, “but give them hell from me.”, Sadie nodded and began to walk towards her horse. 

“Get back safe.”, Arthur said to both Cathryn and Dutch, following closely behind Sadie. 

“Won’t be long before those two finally fuck each other's brains out...”, Dutch chuckled, steering Cathryn towards the Count. She looked back; brow creased as she tried to understand what he meant. 

“I don’t see it...”, she murmured, he lifted her onto the Count. 

“Really sweetheart? Those two are constantly together, whispering and doing private missions. Once Ms. Adler has her husband's revenge, she will move on...they all do...”. Dutch whispered as he began to ride out of Saint Denis, Cathryn clutching at his waist. 

*** 

When they finally got into camp, everyone greeted them but Cathryn could tell that morale in the camp was low. Only Micah came up to ask how Dutch was and Cathryn walked back to their tent, she didn’t want to talk to Micah. Arthur was on her mind, Arthur and Sadie, Arthur and Dutch, Arthur and death. Something about Dutch's words had pulled a chord inside her and all she wanted was isolation. She sat down on the cot and felt, out of nowhere, tears slide down her face. The tears turned into sobs which turned into cries, curling into a fetal position she tried to shut out the world until she heard someone enter the tent. 

“Sweetheart?”, Dutch called out softly. 

“Please Dutch, I can’t...”, she whimpered, she couldn’t look at his face. He would only get angry. His response though was completely different to what she imagined as he sat down beside her, running his hand softly up and down her side. 

“Please Cathy, you can tell me anything. I know things have been hard but you can trust me.”, Cathryn turned her head slightly to look at him, her red puffy eyes made him almost flinch. He hated seeing her like this, in so much pain. “Let me help you carry your burden.”, Cathryn thought for a moment and slowly sat up. She had to tell him, he had to know. 

“It’s Arthur.”, she whimpered, unable to meet his gaze. She was terrified he would be angry but he said she could trust him. “Before we rescued John, when we went to Saint Denis, he collapsed. I managed to get him to a doctor and he said...he said...”, Dutch came closer, wrapping his arm around her. “He has Tuberculosis.”, Cathryn looked up to Dutch. “He’s dying Dutch, and there is nothing I can do.”, Dutch stared at her for a while, trying to process the information, there was no emotion on his face. 

“He never told me.”, were the only words to leave his mouth. He stood up and walked to the other side of the tent, she saw him rub his face with both hands. 

“He wanted to Dutch, I wanted to, but so much was going on. He didn’t want people to see him differently, he wanted to help people.”, Dutch turned around, tears had filled his eyes. 

“Still, he should have told me!”, He said, angry at the world. “I raised him, he’s a son to me and he would not tell me!”, he paced the room, trying to think his way out of this problem. There was always a solution, always a plan, he must be able to do something. He stopped in front of Cathryn suddenly, tears finally falling down his face. “My boy...”, he croaked, falling to his knees. “I’ve failed him, I’ve failed everyone...”, Cathryn lowered herself to the floor and held him tightly. “I can’t do anything Cathryn; I can’t save him.” 

“I know, I know and it hurts. All we can do is make the most of the time we have left, no more waiting around. We need to finish what we started.”, Cathryn encouraged, Dutch looked up slowly, the cogs in his mind working overtime. He began to nod, slowly at first then quickly. 

“You’re right. This needs to end now, for all our sakes. Arthur and Hoseas sacrifice will not be in vain.”, he placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll talk to Arthur when he gets back, make it clear that no matter how far that disease takes him, he will always be my boy.”, Cathryn nodded and nuzzled into his chest, the two of them clinging for comfort.


	57. Gravity

Cathryn and Dutch remained inseparable for the rest of the day and evening, even Micah was having a difficult time getting to Dutch. They sat around the fire and started recanting old stories when Cathryn had first joined the gang and soon enough some members of the gang began to listen and sit around the fire as well. It wasn’t a celebration, more a reflection of the good times and the bed. When Cathryn looked up to see Dutch's face, she saw that he held a sad smile, he still wasn’t over the death of Hosea. As Bill Williamson began telling the story of his first heist with the gang Cathryn noticed Arthur and Sadie come into camp. At least they survived, she thought. She fully expected Arthur to be angry at her for betraying his trust and telling Dutch about the tuberculosis but she didn’t care at this point. Dutch needed to know, they had to have some closure. Dutch followed her gaze, watching as Arthur whispered to Sadie and came over to the campfire. 

“Son, can I have a moment of your time?”, Dutch asked softly. Arthur slowly nodded; his eyes narrowed with suspicion. Dutch got up, groaning and then laughing about how old he was getting before steering Arthur towards his tent. Cathryn watched out of the corner of her vision as they spoke in great length, there seemed to be no emotion, at least neither of them seemed angry. After a few moments she saw the two of them embrace for a while, Dutch pulled away and gripped Arthur by the arms, a smile on his face. He then said something that must have struck a chord with Arthur because he nodded and the two of them came back to the campfire. 

“Thanks to the heroic efforts of Arthur and Ms. Adler, the O’Driscolls are lost in time. They will never bother us again!”, Dutch shouted, holding Arthur's hand and raising it into the sky. “We have lost them, we have lost Cornwall and soon we shall lose the law! It is time for action! The end is in sight, I assure you. Now we must push together, push harder than ever before! These next few days will be rough but I promise, we will be out of this mess soon!”, several of the gang members cheered, Cathryn included, but a seed of doubt was planted when she saw the sombre look on Arthur's face. 

*** 

The next morning it seemed that spirits had been lifted in camp, everyone was working harder than Cathryn had seen in weeks. They believed the end was in sight, as Dutch promised, and hoped the harder they worked the sooner it would come. However, not everyone was feeling good and productive. Cathryn knelt down on the ground; she had gone a bit further away to fetch some firewood when a wave of nausea overcame her. Her body began to shake as she took deep breaths, in and out. Obviously, the excitement and fear of the end was finally getting to her. The moment she finally did retch, she heard the footsteps of someone nearby. 

“Shit, you alright?”, she heard Arthur exclaim. Cathryn nodded, turning her nose away from the vomit. 

“Think everything's just getting to me.”, she wiped her mouth. “I’m sorry I told Dutch, I was just really upset and needed someone to talk to.” 

“It’s alright, he would have figured it out anyway. I’m not exactly the perfect picture of health.”, he offered her his hand which she took gladly as she slowly stood up. “Look, Dutch is re-living the past, he wants us both to join him on a mission. It’s something to do with Eagle Flies and I promised his father I would look out for him. But, if you aren’t feeling good then I should tell Dutch.”, Cathryn shook her head. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m feeling better already. Sitting around here will only make it worse.”, Arthur watched her for a moment, just checking she was alright as she said she was. 

“Okay, let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll head out.” 

*** 

The three of them rode to the top of a sheer cliff that overlooked a woodland path, six native men greeted them with Eagle Flies, the first to meet Dutch. 

“It is good to see you my friends. I sense victory is upon us.”, Eagle Flies said, a smile on his face. He was clearly sharing Dutch's optimism. Cathryn still didn’t understand why Dutch seemed so obsessed with getting Eagle Flies under his wing, maybe he saw a part of himself in him. 

“What are we even doing?”, Arthur asked, he had remained silent the whole journey but seeing Eagle Flies just made him frustrated. How was he supposed to look after Eagle Flies and not disobey Dutch at the same time? “Ever thought that you are falling into their trap? They want you to fight.” 

“Nobody will be killed.”, Eagle Flies promised. 

“It’s just a little trap.”, Dutch said. “We’re going to cut them off, disarm them and remind them to leave these boys alone.” 

“Or maybe, it will just spur them on even more.”, Cathryn said, cutting Dutch off. She watched his jaw clench in annoyance but he said no more on the matter. 

“It’s just tweaking Uncle Sam's nose a little! We used to do this kind of stuff all the time...”, Dutch laughed, walking over to a wagon and picking up some dynamite. “Please, just help me get some of this sorted.”, Cathryn and Arthur looked at each other, sighed and nodded. The three of them went down to plant the dynamite and Dutch pulled them to the side. “Listen, I know you think this is a bad idea but trust me. People will see these boys and they will put all the attention on them. We can sneak away when no one is looking, it’s the perfect distraction.” 

“But these are real people Dutch.”, Cathryn said softly. “These are good people, doing this could destroy their lives.”, Dutch sighed, shaking his head, then placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“This is the best plan I got. It’s a harsh world Cathryn but its either them or us. We have to make a choice.” 

*** 

Once they planted the dynamite the three of them ran back up the cliff and watched as the patrol moved down the road. It was larger than Eagle Flies expected but this seemed to only bring more joy to Dutch. 

“You want to do the honors my love? I do know how much you love to blow shit up...”, Dutch whispered in Cathryn's ear, his hands finding their way to her waist. 

“Sure.”, Cathryn said, turning to him, but then kept her eye on the road. They were coming up close now, she had to get the timing just right. She felt Eagle Flies men start to get nervous, it was more men than expected but Dutch tried to calm them down. 

“Everyone stay calm, we have the upper hand in this.”, they were almost there now. “Do it, now!”, Dutch commanded and Cathryn pulled the trigger, setting off the dynamite. The men below them shouted and the horses reared as trees began to fall around them. “Are we ready!”, Dutch shouted and the men cheered. 

“You’re surrounded!”, Eagle Flies shouted to the men below them as they all stood, aiming their weapons. “Nobody needs to get hurt! Your humiliation of us has gone on quite enough!”, the men below shouted at them, ordering them to put down their weapons but Eagle Flies stayed firm. 

“You’re gonna leave these fine men alone Soldier!”, Dutch shouted. Cathryn looked to the east and saw even more men coming. 

“Dutch, they have back-up. We need to go!”, she shouted. Dutch regarded the oncoming troop and sighed. 

“Not quite yet.” 

“Dutch!”, she shouted. 

“Soldier, are you and your friends going to tuck tail and run off?”, there was silence, “Run!”, he shouted at them but with no answer he just rolled his eyes. “I’m done with this.”, Dutch was about to go down when a shot whizzed past him, scraping Cathryn's shoulder. 

“Fuck!”, she shouted. Dutch looked at her, confused at what happened, but upon seeing the blood he grabbed her and pushed her down on the floor. 

“You fired first soldier!”, he shouted and they all began firing at each other. Cathryn groaned; the gunfire seemed muffled as she tried to focus on the pain. She reached for her shoulder and winced as she wiped it gently, she was making a habit of getting shot at. She brought her fingers back to her face and felt the nausea return as she saw the blood dripping from her fingers. The men were all shouting but Cathryn was trying to keep conscious. She felt Dutch come down, his arms lifting her as she propped her up against a rock. 

“Dutch...Please...” 

“Stay here!”, Dutch ordered. “They’re coming up the side, this should protect you.”, he patted the rock and then passed her his pistol. “For emergencies only.”, he kissed the side of her head then grabbed her rifle and moved forwards. The gunfire was closer now. As the fight continued, and her thoughts became clearer, she grabbed her shirt and ripped the bottom section into a long strip. It took all of her willpower not to scream as she moved her wounded arm. She needed to tie it around her forearm if she wanted to stop the blood-flow. Using her right arm and teeth she managed to circle the strip around her and pulled tight. It hurt like hell but she had to do this if she needed to escape, the last thing they needed was her to pass out. She heard Dutch and Arthur shouting but she had no idea what they were saying. The gunfire began to die down and Dutch ran back over to her. 

“Are they gone?”, she asked, Dutch inspected her wound and tightened the sash even tighter. Cathryn tried her hardest not to scream. 

“No, but we have to get you out of here.”, He lifted her up again, Cathryn clinging around his neck. “Don’t worry, I got you.”. They travelled down the cliff and Cathryn saw the natives looting the bodies of the soldiers. 

“We need to get out of here now.”, Arthur said. “Are you alright Cathryn?” 

“She’s fine.”, Dutch said. “She will be, when we get back, but we need information.”, suddenly an explosion sounded and Cathryn knew they weren’t alone anymore. “Shit, everyone get down.”, he placed Cathryn behind another large boulder and this time ran off without saying anything. Cathryn groaned, looking at the dead body in front of her. He was only a boy in a soldier's uniform. She grabbed Dutch's pistol and tried to pull herself up, the nausea had subsided. She needed to help them. She poked her head around the corner and took a shot at one of the last men fighting Eagle Flies, he turned and thanked her. 

“I think that’s all of them, for now.”, Eagle Flies said as Cathryn staggered over to them. Dutch went to her but Arthur was closer and held her for support. “Where is Paytah?”, there was silence, no one knew where his friend was. Suddenly they overheard a trumpet in the distance, Cathryn had heard that sound before. “They’re sending riders from the fort. We need to leave.”, he then turned and saw one of his men stumbling around. “Paytah!”, Eagle Flies and his men ran over to make sure he was okay. 

“Well, that went according to plan!”, Arthur said sarcastically. 

“I am trying Arthur!”, Dutch shouted. “I am trying, I will keep trying but you keep doubting me! You keep doubting me and we keep failing!” 

“Dutch please, not now. Let’s go home.”, Cathryn pleaded. No matter how much the two made amends they were always at each other's throats the next day. A bomb struck near them, waking Dutch up from his own mind. “Dutch now!”, he nodded and grabbed onto her, ensuring she stayed upright as they ran. 

“This place will be crawling with soldiers soon.”, he shouted. “Where is Eagle Flies?” 

“I don’t know!”, Arthur shouted back, just as confused at Dutch was. When they reached the horses, Dutch lifted her onto the Count, Cathryn reached for Rosemary but was denied. 

“I promise, we will come back for her later but you can’t ride like this!”, Dutch said, kissing her temple. “We need to ride hard! Stay with me!”, Dutch ordered Arthur and then made his way towards the mountain and into the trees. The gunfire wasn’t far behind them though as more soldiers came their way. “Get down!”, Dutch shouted, helping Cathryn off his horse, the three of them ran through a cluster of trees. “Hold them off Arthur!”, Dutch shouted as he helped Cathryn through the mountain pass. “We’re overrun, we need to get out of here!”, the three of them continued to run to the end of the pass, but what they thought would be a clearing was a drop down to the river. It was a dead end, they were trapped. Cathryn looked to Dutch; her eyes desperate. 

“Dutch, what do we do?”, Dutch looked down to the river, unsure of what to say. 

“Put your hands up!”, a loud voice shouted and the three of them turned to a group of armed men. 

“Okay!”, Dutch said, grabbing Cathryn by the waist. “Follow my lead”, he whispered, his bandana hiding the secret message. He then pulled Arthur over, “I got a plan, it’s a good one.”. He then started to put his guns away. “Hello officers!”, he raised his hands with Arthur and Cathryn following suit. 

“Keep them hands up and come here!”, one of the officers shouted. Even more men surrounded them now, all their guns pointed to the three of them. Dutch slowly began to move backwards, the other two followed him. Cathryn had no idea what he was doing but she had to trust in him now, it was the only alternative to death. 

“We can’t do that. Your men – those men they killed...they were good men.”, As the three of them walked backwards, the officers moved forwards. “You are fighting nature, Captain. Ask my friend here...”, he gestured to Arthur. “My whole life, I tried to fight change. It’s a waste, I see that now...a waste. You can’t fight nature, Captain. You can’t fight change. You can’t fight gravity.”, he then grabbed hold of Cathryn and the three of them jumped down the cliff edge into the river below. The water was cold on impact and Cathryn could hear the gunfire from above, she tried to cling onto Dutch, desperate not to drown as they travelled down river. The waves were too strong though, Dutch was too unstable and she felt darkness overtake her. 

*** 

Cathryn gasped for her first breath, her lungs on fire as Dutch stood above her. She looked around to see Arthur on his knees, staring at her in relief. 

“Oh, my girl. It’s okay, you’re okay! We lost them!”, Dutch then embraced her tightly and Cathryn cried from the pressure on her injured arm. Blood was now soaking through the bandages. 

“What about Eagle Flies?”, Cathryn asked, sitting up with Dutch's aid. 

“I’m not sure, must have been taken.”, Dutch said, wiping his brow. “We can’t do anything now, we head back and I’ll send Charles.”, Arthur nodded as he began a coughing fit. “We are going to make it, I know it now. We must all have faith.” 

“I can’t take much more of this Dutch...”, Cathryn whimpered as she stood up. 

“You won’t need to, we are almost there.”, he kissed her hard and then turned to Arthur. “Rest up Arthur, take your time. I’m taking Cathryn back to get treated.” 

“Are you going to be okay, Arthur?”, Cathryn asked, her face full of worry at his pale face. 

“I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.”, he grumbled, trying to ease the coughing. “Maybe make some more of that herbal concoction for when I come back?”, Cathryn nodded and took Dutch's hand, it took all of her strength not to look back.


	58. Changing Tides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's all kicking off in this chapter!!

After Dutch sent Cathryn to Ms. Grimshaw to stitch up the wound on her arm and check for any other damage, he doted on her the entire night. She could tell he felt incredibly guilty for what happened, she was injured under his care, he wouldn’t forgive himself so easily. He brought her over some dinner and water, read some of his favourite passages from the recent Evelyn Miller book and then rubbed Cathryn's feet until she fell asleep. Then, when she finally woke up, she found his mouth between her legs as he lapped intently at her wet flesh. 

“Fuck”, she moaned, wondering how long he had been doing this before she woke up. Her fingers reached down to grasp strands of his hair, digging into his scalp as he focused on her clit. Her breath began to quicken and her heart hammered when the orgasm overcame her. She placed her hand between her teeth to ensure no one could hear her screams and when she finally looked down all she could see was Dutch’s smirk. 

“Good morning...”, he whispered, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. 

“Yeah...”, she said, trying to catch her breath. “Good morning to you too.”, Dutch laughed and then stood up, buttoning up his shirt and grabbing his waist-coat and jacket. 

“I have some loose-ends to tie up, lots of planning to do. This is the final stretch Cathryn. I want you to rest for the day, Arthur and Charles are going to do some surveillance work for Eagle Flies. We need to find out what happened to him.”, Cathryn sat up, her chest still pink from his demonstrations. 

“I can go too, I can help.” 

“No. You need to rest. You haven't been yourself lately and after getting shot yesterday...well, I only want you out there if necessary.”, Cathryn nodded. She was still feeling nauseous, the wound on her arm probably wasn’t helping. If Dutch thought staying back was the best thing for her then she would listen. After he finished getting ready, he knelt down and kissed her softly, saying his goodbyes and leaving the tent. 

*** 

Cathryn spent the rest of the morning picking up one of Dutch's old books, she used to love reading with him, he always made the world seem so fascinating and magical. She always wondered why he never thought of writing something himself. As she turned the fifth chapter, Micah burst through the tent, he looked around and upon only seeing Cathryn he grimaced. 

“Oh, it’s just you.”, Micah grumbled, but it seemed he had no intention of leaving. 

“I don’t know where Dutch is.”, Cathryn responded, looking back down to her book. She hated Micah but she wouldn’t rile him up, that was the last thing Dutch needed right now. 

“Oh really? Lucky me...”, Micah then took a seat opposite her, balancing his right foot on his knee. He acted relaxed, as if he wasn’t going anywhere. 

“What do you want Micah?”, Cathryn said, still refusing to look at him. 

“Oh...everything!”, Micah exclaimed, raising his arms into the sky. “Hey, look at me when I’m talking to you, fucking bitch.”, Cathryn slammed the book shut and went to storm out but Micah grabbed her arm and threw her back down. 

“Let me go, Micah.”, She hissed behind gritted teeth. 

“No, I don’t think I will. You’re leading Dutch astray, making him weak.”, Micah spat, pacing around the tent, Cathryn watched him intently. He looked like a snake ready to strike. “As a result, you’re making us all look weak! I can’t have that.”, He turned back to her, “I won’t have that.” 

“If you have a problem with me, then I suggest you take it up with Dutch.”, She said, refusing to back down. Micah just laughed. 

“Oh yeah, that’s the only option...He already doesn’t trust me around you...” 

“I wonder why?”, Cathryn said sarcastically, clearly Micah felt threatened by her. He must have overstepped the line with Dutch, she wondered what he said. 

“Fucking women, you’re all the same. So fucking weak yet all you have to do is flaunt a pretty cunt and you’ll manipulate any bastard that comes along.”, Fear began to rise in Cathryn, something about the words he was saying and his tone, she didn’t feel safe right now. She was alone with him here. “That cunt must be pretty impressive to turn Dutch, maybe if I do a good job, he’ll give me a taste.”, Cathryn couldn’t stand it anymore and went to run out the tent but Micah grabbed her and threw her back on the bed. “I didn’t fucking give you permission to leave!” 

“What is going on here?”, Ms. Grimshaw shouted, opening the tent, Cathryn breathed a sigh of relief. Micah looked between the two and his slimy grin returned. 

“Nothing at all, Ms. Grimshaw. You really shouldn’t get involved in people's business.”, he said, walking towards her. 

“You don’t frighten me, Mr. Bell. I suggest you leave this tent at once before I call more people in here to sort you out.”, Micahs face turned into one of pure hatred, catching one more glance to Cathryn before heading out the tent. “Are you alright Cathryn?”, Ms. Grimshaw asked, sitting next to Cathryn and pulling her into an embrace. 

“No, I’m scared.”, she responded, burying her face in Ms. Grimshaw's shoulder. “Things just don’t feel right, Micah is more aggressive than usual.”, tears began to fill her eyes, “I know the end is coming, but I’m frightened. I don’t think it’s as I expect it...” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Dutch seems fine now but I can tell he isn’t alright. It feels like he could snap at any moment, one piece of bad news and we descend into chaos. Micah is trying to steer him, to what end I have no idea.”, Ms. Grimshaw nodded and thought for a moment. 

“What about you?”, she then asked, concerned. 

“My arm hurts but the old gunshot wound seems almost healed...”, she glanced to her bandages. 

“No, there’s something else. You’re incredibly pale Cathryn, and you may not realise but we can hear the retching. When was the last time you bled?”, Cathryn stopped at Ms. Grimshaw's words, focusing on the floor. What did that have to do with anything? All she was worried about was Dutch and Micah. 

“I don’t know, Valentine? Maybe Rhodes?”, Ms. Grimshaw's eyes went wide. “You don’t think I could be?”, she nodded. “But sometimes I have missed it, stress or dehydration...” 

“Perhaps, but that usually doesn’t come with sickness...”, Cathryn thought back to all those times: the fish with John, her missed period, the vomiting. She had no way to find out for sure but Ms. Grimshaw was right, something was wrong. 

“But...I can’t be...” 

“If you’ve had sex then, yes, it's highly probable.”, Ms. Grimshaw said. Cathryn fell back onto the bed, head in her hands as she tried to make sense of everything. She then shot back up. 

“No, I can’t be pregnant. I can’t have a child, not now. Things are too uncertain; it will make or break Dutch.”, worry began to fill Cathryn. He was possessive enough as it is, a child would make things worse. 

“Then you better hope it makes him.”, Cathryn looked at Ms. Grimshaw in shock, then confusion and then uncertainty. Ms. Grimshaw looked around, as if trying to find ears pressed against the tent. “Listen to me...”, she whispered, pulling Cathryn in closer. “If you are pregnant then you have a child to protect, it’s not just about you anymore. You need to make a decision on what is best for your child.”, Cathryn thought for a moment, her heart breaking as she realised a potential dilemma. 

“I want my child to have its father around, but what if that makes things worse? What if my child isn’t safe with Dutch?”, Ms. Grimshaw looked down, grasping Cathryns hands tightly. 

“Then you need to make a choice. What is more important? Their safety or their father?”, Cathryn began to shake, she was uncertain of everything. “Listen to me...”, Cathryn looked back up, staring at Ms. Grimshaw, begging her to tell her what to do. “Wait this out...we’ll have our answer soon enough. Don’t tell Dutch, not until you trust him. Let’s not make any rash decisions...”, Cathryn nodded. As much as she wanted to unload her burden, she needed to see how this all turned out. 

*** 

That afternoon and evening, Cathryn couldn’t focus on anything else, only the potential child inside of her. How could she keep this from Dutch? Could she really run away if things got bad? What if Dutch found out after she ran? Would he kill her? She was relieved when he finally returned to the tent, he would take her mind off of it. 

“Hey...”, she said with a smile on her face, but it quickly disappeared when she saw his expression. “What’s wrong?”, she stood up, walking over to him and placing a hand on his cheek, he slapped her arm away. “Dutch? What’s going on?” 

“You lied to me.”, he spat, turning around as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. Cathryn was confused, did someone overhear her and Ms. Grimshaw? “You made me believe I was a fool, that I was insane...that I had gone mad!”, he swiped his hand across the table, knocking over books and pens and paper. “I wasn’t crazy! I was right, all along!”, he shouted. Cathryns heart hammered in her chest, she had never seen Dutch so angry. 

“Dutch, what are you talking about?”, she tried to remain calm, cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder, he budged her aside. 

“You and Arthur. There was something going on.”, he turned to face her, his eyes full of jealousy and contempt. 

“If this is about Micah...”, she began to say but Dutch just laughed, not of joy but ridicule. 

“No sweetheart, you can’t blame this on Micah. I heard this, direct, from the horse's mouth. A horse named John to be precise!”, Cathryn took a step back her face full of confusion. “I overheard him and Abigail, talking about you and Arthur. Apparently, Arthur confided in him about a few details of your relationship. Obviously, John couldn’t be trusted to keep his mouth shut around Abigail...soon the whole camp will find out!” 

“Dutch...nothing happened between me and Arthur...”, Cathryn tried to say but Dutch knocked the Gramophone onto the floor. 

“Bullshit! I know you two kissed! What else went on?”, Cathryn was filled with every emotion possible. She was brimmed with guilt, self-loathing, anger, betrayal and above all else sadness. Dutch was right, she had kept it from him and in turn she made him feel like he was mad for ever believing something was going on. She tried to leave, to take a breath of fresh air but Dutch pulled her back in, spinning her around and placing his hand around her neck. It wasn’t tight, he wasn’t choking her, but it was a warning that she should stay where she was. He came up close to her and pushed her against the table, their noses almost touching. “I want to know everything.”, he said. 

“Alright!”, Cathryn said, trying to calm him down. His eyes were bright and full of rage. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”, Dutch seemed to calm a bit at this, nodding slowly. 

“What happened? Tell me everything.” 

“I was confused when I came to this camp, back in Blackwater. I was confused about everything, my place here and my relationship with you. I was never confused about Arthur; he was the same boy I grew up with. When I found out that for him, being with me meant something more I became even more confused. I never believed I would ever be with Arthur and I was developing feelings for you. I never entertained it, I promise, I always chose you.”, she saw the bones in Dutch's jaw clench as he listened to her. 

“And the kiss? When did it happen? Where?” 

“It was when I first met Eagle Flies, we were helping them find some documents in a factory. After it happened, Arthur got swept up in the moment. He thought that I didn’t know his feelings for me, that I didn’t know I had a choice. He kissed me, in the heat of the moment, but I pushed away and I told him I chose you! He accepted it, he moved on and that is it! I promise you!”, tears began to fall down her face as she retold the story, she could see behind the anger he felt incredibly betrayed and hurt. She had lied to him, covered up the truth, now she had to deal with the consequences. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“After what happened with Colm, I felt I couldn’t. I was terrified you would hurt Arthur and I knew that once I rejected him, he would accept my decision and move on. Nothing happened between us after that, I’m sorry I betrayed you but it was never out of a place of anger or hatred. I just didn’t want anyone to get hurt!”, she looked into Dutch's eyes, trying to reach for him. “Please believe me Dutch. I love you; I choose you. I always have.”, with that Dutch finally let her go, turning around and running his hands through his hair. 

“Nothing more?”, he asked, Cathryn rubbed her hand across her neck. 

“Nothing more, I promise.”, he turned back slowly to face her, the came forward and kissed her hard across the mouth, it was possessive and territorial, leaving his mark on her. When he finished, he rested his head on hers, both of them panting for air. 

“Good because if I ever get a suspicion - whether it’s the wrong glance, the wrong movement, the wrong whisper – Arthur won’t need to worry about his Tuberculosis. I’ll kill him myself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I think that was one of my favourite chapters to write! Also, I'm on a roll! 3 chapters in 3 days, lets see how long this continues!


	59. Abandonment

A few days had passed since Dutch's confrontation and from that point on he refused to let Cathryn out of his sight. She knew he hadn’t spoken to Arthur about anything but she was certain it was because Arthur was always out of camp. She never saw him around and when she did Dutch would always steer her in the other direction. Normally this behaviour would have frustrated her, she would have called Dutch out, but at this moment in time she knew it wasn’t wise. The last thing she wanted was for Arthur to get hurt or give any more power to Micah, who was reveling in the tension between the two. She only wished she could warn Arthur, tell him that Dutch knew about the kiss. Micah had also brought along two friends to help them in the final days of preparation before the big move. Dutch said there were only a couple more missions ahead of them, then they would have everything they needed. She still hadn’t told Dutch about her possible pregnancy, she just didn’t feel safe around him, not anymore. If the news became public it wouldn’t take long for Micah to pour poison in Dutch’s ear, she could only image the stories he would feed Dutch. If he hinted that the child may not belong to Dutch then that would sever things permanently. 

“Theres going to be a train coming in soon: Money, pay-roll, supplies and bonds.”, Dutch said to Micah and his friends, Joe and Cleet. Cathryn stayed nearby as usual, though Micah's gaze sent shivers down her spine. “That will do it, providing the attack on the factory goes well...”. 

“Any idea on the number of guards?”, Micah asked. Cathryn turned her gaze to see Arthur walking into camp, she looked back, Dutch and the others seemed distracted so she went to make her move. A hand reached out to grab her. 

“Where are you going?”, Dutch asked softly, but there was a tone in his voice that was anything other than soft. 

“I’m thirsty, I was going to get some coffee.”, she replied, Dutch looked over to Mr. Pearson and saw Arthur, he bristled slightly. 

“Ms. Grimshaw!”, Dutch shouted and, in a few seconds, she came over. “Care to fetch us some coffee, and food if there is any.”, Cathryn saw the look of shock and disgust from Ms. Grimshaw after being asked to do such a menial task but after seeing Cathryn's look of sympathy just nodded and left. “How much have you been eating? I told you that if you weren't feeling better, I would take you to the doctor.”, Dutch said, placing the back of his hand on her forehead. 

“I’m fine, just stressed. I just want this all to be over.”, Dutch leant forward to kiss her on the temple. 

“It will be, I swear to you.”. Ms. Grimshaw came back with the coffee and some bread which Cathryn consumed quickly, she felt so tired, she needed as much energy as possible. Once again, her attention went back to camp, her eyes scanning, trying to find Arthur. When she finally did find him, she saw him staring back. He had to know something was wrong. “I want you.”, Dutch whispered in her ear, pulling her from her thoughts. She turned to him; his gaze flickered from her to Arthur. “I want you now.” 

“You just said that I didn’t seem well.”, she retorted. 

“You said that you felt fine.”, he hit back. “Has it really come to this?”, he whispered in her ear, his fingers caressing her cheek. “Don’t tell me I’m going to have to bring Arthur over here to get you in the mood.”, Cathryn watched his face, she had no idea if that was meant to be a joke or a threat, either way she felt uncomfortable. 

“Why are you doing this?”, she asked, hurt. He blinked a couple of times, shaking his head and kissed her softly. 

“I’m sorry, every time I see him...All I can think of is...”, he ran his thumb across the bottom of her lip. Cathryn had no time to respond however as a hoard of horses stormed into camp, Cathryn whipped around to see Eagle Flies taking the lead. He was covered in war-paint and she could smell the aggression and testosterone from here. 

“Mr. Van der Linde, Mr. Morgan, Charles!”, Eagle Flies shouted and everyone rushed over to them. “They tried to kill my people for oil, for oil!”, Cathryn could hear the anger and frustration in his voice, she could only imagine what Rains Fall had to say. “Today, we ride once more. Ride with me, ride with us! Ride with us against the factory.” 

“I love your courage, son!”, Dutch shouted, his arms opened wide to greet him. Cathryn glanced towards Arthur; they shared a look of worry. “It is a thing of great beauty!” 

“Stop!”, Cathryn looked over to see Rains Fall riding up the other side of camp, he was out of breath, it must have taken all his energy to get over here. He jumped off his horse and ran over to his son, his eyes were desperate. “My son...my last son...don’t.”, Cathryn heard Dutch sigh as he crossed his arms. “When I was your age I fought and I saw death. I have killed and the men I knew were slain. My first born, your brother, had his head smashed by a drunken soldier. My wife had her throat slit! We made peace. I knew not to trust yet I had no choice. Maybe you were right, a slow death is worse than a fast one, maybe none of these men are good. Maybe a world in which they came to us is a world we cannot endure! But endure we must...” 

“Father, you are tired...”, Eagle Flies said, dismissing him. 

“Do not die for pride, my son!”, Rains Fall begged. “We have suffered too much in this trick! The earth, the water, they have no pride! They endure, we must endure! My precious boy, my only boy, do not mistake my strength for weakness! As your chief, I implore you...”, Eagle Flies thought for a moment then looked at his father. 

“Your words mean nothing to me, Father.”, Rains Fall flinched at the tone. “Ride with me now!”, Eagle Flies shouted and the group of natives flew out of camp. Rains Fall tried to stop them but they refused to listen, he was left alone. He turned around and ran to Arthur, his last hope. 

“Please, Mr. Morgan...Cathryn...after you helped me and after we spoke...this is just a trap!”, Dutch flinched, slowly turning his head toward Arthur. His grip on Cathryn's waist tightened. “My son, my people, they will all die.” 

“You two helped this feller, Arthur?”, Dutch asked, his tone full of anger. 

“Seems a lot has been going on behind Dutch's back...”, Micah added, smirking at Cathryn. 

“What are you on about?”, Arthur asked. 

“Please, the wars are over, we have lost and these men will be annihilated!”, Rains Fall begged. 

“I’ll help you.”, Cathryn spoke up, stepping out from Dutch's grip. Rains Fall went to thank her but Dutch pulled back. 

“You will stay here.”, he said under his breath. 

“No, we have to help them. That’s what we do Dutch, it’s what we were always taught to do. Remember?”, Cathryn said, hoping Dutch would see it from her perspective. 

“I remember.”, Arthur said, stepping forward. “I’ll do what I can...”, he patted Rains Fall on the back. “Who else will come?” 

“I will.”, said Charles and a few more of them came forward to volunteer. Cathryn stayed, watching Dutch. 

“Let’s go then.”, Dutch said, reluctantly. “Who knows what other secrets I’ll learn about.” 

*** 

As they rode towards the factory, Dutch let his agitation show more freely. Cathryn saw, as she rode beside him, that he was beginning to lose it again. It reminded her of how he was in Saint Denis, after they crashed the trolley. 

“What else have you been hiding behind my back, Arthur?”, Dutch asked as Arthur rode beside him. 

“I was trying to stop this mess from getting any worse.”, Dutch scoffed at the response. “But I guess not.” 

“Why would they attack the oil fields?”, John asked behind them. 

“It’s a perfect plan.”, Dutch said, Cathryn turned to him in shock. This wasn’t their plan, it was his, that was what he meant this morning about a factory. This had Dutch van der Linde written all over it. 

“You planned this?”, she asked, disappointment on her face. He was literally bringing these men to slaughter. Dutch glanced and had to make a double take to see the look on Cathryn's face, he tried to justify himself. 

“Partly. It’s a good plan, they’ve all taken everything from these people. Wouldn’t you want to fight back? Better they hit them where it hurts than coordinate insignificant smaller attacks like they were doing before.” 

“Oh, so you’re the mastermind behind it all then?”, Cathryn spat. “You’ve sent them to their deaths.” 

“Watch your tone.”, Dutch shot back. “I am doing this for us.” 

“All of us? What about John?”, Sadie commented, riling up Dutch even more. “He would have died if we hadn’t busted him out.” 

“Show some god-damn respect!”, Bill shouted, there proceeded to be an argument behind them. 

“I had a plan!”, Dutch shouted, rambling on like a mad man. “I still have a plan!” 

“What plan? What god-damn plan Dutch?”, John shouted, Cathryn listened for his answer. “Tahiti? Or Timbuktu?” 

“What’s wrong with you all?”, Javier asked. “What happened to loyalty?” 

“Yes, what did.”, Dutch grumbled, glancing to Cathryn. They shared a look. “Thank you, Javier and Bill. It doesn’t matter how we got here, these men need our help!”, Cathryn rolled her eyes, like Dutch would have helped if she hadn’t pushed him to. “I have a plan! This is the plan! So, either stick with me or cut loose! I am tired of this constant dissent, long tired of it! Now, come on!”, after that speech everyone stayed silent, Dutch was hanging off a thread and one more comment could unleash hell. Cathryn unconsciously touched her stomach; she couldn’t let a child be brought up like this. She had made her decision, she just needed to talk to Arthur. 

As they approached the oil-field, Cathryn felt a sense of deja-vu, this was where her and Arthur had kissed. If Dutch remembered, he didn’t make it clear. The sound of war-cry and bullets filled the field, one of Eagle Flies men fled, he was severely injured. 

“Please, Eagle Flies needs your help.”, he groaned, blood coming from his torso. 

“Alright son.”, Dutch said. “You get back and rest, we’ll sort this out.”, the man nodded in gratitude and did his best to ride away. Cathryn hoped he would make it. 

“It’s a massacre”, Charles commented as he looked with his binoculars. Cathryn could see the fire and carnage from where she stood. 

“Can anyone see Eagle Flies?”, Arthur asked. 

“There, going across the walkway.”, Charles responded, pointing him out. 

“You coming, Arthur? Heard you know this place pretty well...”, Dutch said, his meaning not lost on Cathryn. 

“I’m going to save him.”, Arthur said. “This fight is unwinnable...You go in and distract the guards so I can sneak in and find him.” 

“Have it your way...The rest of you...ride with me!”, Cathryn took one last look at Arthur, nodded and wished him safety before riding with Dutch into combat. She was afraid but there was a sense of exhilaration about riding into battle. “Still have my pistol?”, Dutch asked. Cathryn nodded and took it out. 

“Want it back?”, she shouted. 

“No, keep it. Should bring you luck! I’m still alive after all!”, with that they rode into the heart of battle, Cathryn jumped off Rosemary, her and Dutch ran to hide behind a large crate. “Ready?”, she nodded and the two peeked from behind the crate and began shooting soldiers. The men had to do a double-take, not realising more enemies had entered battle, it gave them a distinct starting advantage. 

“On your left!”, Cathryn shouted to Dutch as she caught a soldier trying to get behind them. Dutch nodded and span around, shooting the guy in the head and came back around. 

“Let’s move inwards.”, Dutch said, pointing out and sneaking towards one of the carts. Cathryn ran then laid her back against it, taking a few breaths. “You alright?”, Dutch asked, taking two more shots. The nausea sent shivers down her spine. 

“I’ll be okay.”, She leapt out from cover and took three shots at some soldiers on one of the higher levels. 

“So, this place bringing back any good memories?”, Dutch joked, but Cathryn clearly wasn’t laughing. He was just trying to make her uncomfortable. 

“Now isn’t the right time.”, Cathryn said, shooting another soldier. 

“Just ironic, don’t you think?”, Dutch shouted as he shot a few more down. He grabbed her arm and dragged her forward towards another crate. “Given where we are.” 

“Whatever you say Dutch.”, Cathryn sighed and looked up, quickly ducking as a bullet went by her. 

“I got you.”, he said, getting up and shooting the man who tried to shoot her. 

“Thanks.”, she said, starting to feel drowsy. 

“Hey!”, Dutch grabbed her arm, squeezing tightly. “Don’t let go, I’ve got you.”, Cathryn nodded and Dutch kept her propped on his shoulder. “Everyone move closer, we’ll join shortly.”, he shouted and she saw Sadie and Javier nod as they directed the group to go deeper. “Come on sweetheart, stay with me.”, he said, offering her some whiskey, she shook her head. “How about something to eat then?”, he passed her some biscuits and she ate them quickly, it satisfied her. “I’m taking you to the doctor.” 

“I’m fine Dutch.”, she sighed, checking if the coast was clear. 

“Bullshit.”, he whispered. “I’m not losing you, not like I lost them.”, he held her hand tight, a small moment of weakness. 

“You haven’t lost them, not all of them, not yet anyway.”, Cathryn sighed before removing her hand from his and moving forward, Dutch followed behind her. She stopped behind another crate and saw Arthur shooting his way through some men, Eagle Flies behind him. “Arthur...”, she whispered. “He’s got Eagle Flies.”, she turned to Dutch. “It’s almost done.”, Dutch watched her and nodded slowly. 

“Yes, it is.”, the next few moments they spent shooting the last of the men and when the gunfire finally stopped, they all slowly emerged from their hiding spots. “Good of you to join us, Arthur.”, Dutch said as they made their way to the factory. “Hello son...”, Dutch greeted Eagle Flies. “Well, you’re quite the hero, aren’t you Arthur?” 

“Just a regular good guy, same as always.”, Arthur said, Cathryn smiled softly. 

“What is with you Arthur?”, Dutch asked, clearly irked by his comment. Arthur sighed, rubbing his eyes. 

“I don’t get you; I don’t get you no more Dutch.”, Arthur said. 

“Ahh, the doubting...the doubting”, Dutch groaned. “Come on, get them out of here...”, Dutch ordered the rest of the group. “You too Cathryn, can’t have you near fainting on me again.”, he pulled her close, kissed her temple and pushed her towards the group. “Arthur, come on. Let’s finish things.”, Cathryn turned to watch Dutch and Arthur enter the factory building, a sudden feeling of dread overcame her. 

“Thank you.”, Eagle Flies said. “I’m going to find any more of my wounded men. I’ll join you shortly.”, Cathryn nodded and walked back to Sadie and John. 

“You look like shit.”, Sadie said to Cathryn. 

“I’m fine, I will be.”, Cathryn replied. “Anyone have any water?”, John offered her his waterskin and she took a few gulps. “Thank you, John.”, he smiled sadly. 

“Listen, about Dutch...”, he began. 

“Don’t. You don’t need to say anything.”, Cathryn cut him off. “Things are rough, believe me, I know.”, John looked at her, unsure what she meant but nodded. No one else needed to hear this. They waited a few moments, ensuring they looted as many bodies as they could. When they heard gunfire go off in the factory, they all ran back, ready to fight if needed. It wasn’t long until Dutch came out of the factory, his face emotionless as he came down the steps. 

“I’ve got them, the state bonds.”, he showed a slip of paper to Cathryn. “We are on our way.”, He pulled her close, kissing her firmly. A few more shots broke through the factory and Cathryn pushed away to see Arthur, holding tightly onto Eagle Flies who had been shot in the stomach. 

“Oh god...”, she whispered and went over to them. “What happened?”, Arthur couldn’t reply, he was in a state of shock, then he looked directly at Dutch. 

“Let’s go Arthur.”, Dutch said. 

“You...You ran away.”, Arthur accused at Dutch, Cathryn looked back to Dutch in horror. 

“I did no such thing.”, Dutch defended, putting his hands up in the air. “Don’t be a fool, they will be back here any minute.”, Arthur took a step back, as if he had been shot in the chest. “We did it gentlemen...”, Dutch turned to the rest of the gang. “We got some money, and with the train job...we are on our way...”, he looked towards Cathryn and offered his hand. “Everything is coming together, exactly as I planned.” 

“I’m taking the boy to his father.”, Arthur said, his face grim as he dragged Eagle Flies to his horse. 

“I’ll go too.”, Cathryn responded, turning to Arthur. 

“No.”, Dutch said, his hand reaching out further for her to take it. “You’re coming back with me; we need you checked out.”. Cathryn watched Dutch, he was nervous, something obviously happened in the factory and she needed to find out. 

“I promised his father I would take him home; we don’t have enough time left.”, Cathryn tried to reason, walking to Arthur. 

“I forbid you.”, Dutch shouted, everyone turned towards them. Micah did nothing to hide his slimy smirk. 

“I’ll be back soon Dutch.”, Cathryn replied before mounting her horse. She needed to get out of there fast. 

*** 

Arthur, Charles and Cathryn only just made it to Rains Fall in time before Eagle Flies passed. Rain fell as the tribe began their mourning; the sound of cries could be heard a mile away. Dutch got what he wanted, and Eagle Flies paid the price. Charles decided to stay behind to help them relocate, the moment the army heard about the factory there would be a massacre. 

“Dutch will be angry when we return...”, Arthur said as they slowly rode back to camp. 

“You don’t know the half of it. He knows that you kissed me...”, Arthur turned to her, fear in his eyes. “You shouldn’t have told John.”, she reprimanded him softly. 

“I just needed someone to talk to, didn’t think he would go telling everyone...”, Arthur sighed, rubbing his face. 

“He just told Abigail, but Dutch overheard them.”, Cathryn explained, shivering as some water dropped down the back of her shirt. 

“That explains why he kept going on about betrayal...explains how he left me to die...”, Cathryn looked back to him. 

“What happened back there?”, she said in confusion. 

“We found the bonds and were ambushed, when we thought we came through okay we tried to leave but I was tackled. They had a knife to my throat, they would have killed me, Dutch saw and he just walked off. If it wasn’t for Eagle Flies, I’d be dead.”, Cathryn felt sick to her stomach in disgust, that just solidified her decision in leaving him. 

“You remember you said that if I was ready to leave you would help me?”, Arthur nodded. “I think it’s time...”, Arthur looked at her in shock. 

“What changed your mind?”, he whispered, though no one was around. 

“I’m pregnant.”, Cathryn admitted out loud, “I don’t know fully yet but I’m almost certain. Only Ms. Grimshaw knows...” 

“Not Dutch?” 

“I was going to tell him when I felt the time was right, after this was all over, but I don’t feel safe. Micah is planning something, if he knew about the baby then...” 

“He would convince Dutch it was mine.”, Arthur finished, he rubbed his face. Cathryn nodded, as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she had no clue what Dutch's reaction would be. “Alright, I’ll help you. I know a woman, lives on her own in the wilderness, could be a good safety spot until we have a better plan. I’ll need to check with her though...”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Thank you, Arthur.”, Arthur smiled sadly. 

“I know this isn’t what you want.”, Arthur said, “I know you would take him back if things were as they once was. You don’t need to worry; I don’t expect anything from this. When I told John, it wasn’t because I still want you. I love you but I know where your heart lies, I won’t take advantage of that.”, Cathryn stopped, tears forming in her eyes. 

“Thank you, Arthur. Thank you for everything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> brb, off to cry :'(


	60. To Insist

Cathryn took the last stretch to camp alone, Arthur and her had decided that would be best. She had no idea what Dutch's reaction would be after she disobeyed him in front of the gang and she couldn’t let Arthur take that risk. He said he had some jobs to do anyway and he also needed to speak to a woman named Charlotte about some accommodation when they could finally run. Cathryn thought about whether she should tell anyone she was leaving but thought against it, if Dutch heard the conversation between John and Abigail then he could hear anything. Especially now that he had two more henchmen to listen out for him. Camp was deathly quiet when she returned, though she could probably guess it was because most people were asleep. As she hitched up her horse, she noticed a few silhouettes by the fire, no doubt Dutch was still awake. She walked in silently, hoping no one would bring attention to her, the silence soon passed. 

“Well, look who it is...”, Micah's voice crawled across her skin. “The little bird has flown back into her cage. Did Arthur finally keel over?”, he chuckled, sauntering over to her with Joe and Cleet. They looked at her the same way Micah did, thankfully they wouldn’t do anything in such a public place. 

“No, he had a lead for some more money. Now, if you’ll excuse me...”, she tried to walk past them but Micah stepped in front of her, his men starting to surround her. 

“You know...Dutch is pretty pissed with you...probably safer if you spent the night with us...”, he whispered in her ear, brushing her hair from her face. 

“I would rather die.”, Cathryn said, slapping Micah's hand from her face. 

“That could be arranged.”, Micah threatened. 

“Micah?”, Dutch called, coming out of his tent, Micah stepped back quickly. 

“Hey Boss, I found this little one. She seems to have lost her way.”, Dutch stared at Cathryn for a moment, she went stiff, suddenly very frightened. Dutch was so unpredictable right now, she had to do everything she could to not spook him. She took a few steps forward, coming into the light. 

“I managed to get to Rains Fall just in time.”, she said softly. “Eagle Flies didn’t make it.”, Dutch glanced to the floor and took a deep breath. “Charles is helping them relocate before the army find them.”, Dutch looked back to her. 

“And Arthur?”, he asked, staring intently. 

“He said he had some leads regarding a stage coach, said it could help for when we move.”, Dutch continued to watch her. “Can I come in?”, he slowly nodded and gestured towards the open tent. Micah chuckled as she walked past. As she walked into the tent, she felt Dutch close behind her. He then sat on an armchair and opened a flask, taking a swig. “I’m sorry for what happened earlier, I just needed to make sure he got back okay. If we had gotten there any later, he wouldn’t have been able to say goodbye.”, Dutch leaned back, surveying his flask as if it were the most interesting thing in the room. Cathryn sighed; she obviously wasn’t going to get through to him. 

“Where is Arthur?”, he asked, Cathryn looked up to him, his attention still on the flask. 

“I already told you, he had a lead on a stage coach. He didn’t say where it was and I didn’t honestly care, Eagle Flies had just died and I was worried I had upset you.”, that answer didn’t seem to please him though. 

“I am so close...we are so close to getting everything we have ever wanted. All I ask for is obedience and faith, in this final stretch, and you can’t even give me that.”, despite how angry she knew he was inside he kept up a calm tone, that somehow made things worse. 

“Dutch, please listen to me, you aren’t yourself.”, she tried to reason. “You know I love you.”, Dutch finally looked at her. 

“Really?”, he asked. “I told you, no, I ordered you not to go off with Arthur and you did it anyway. How does that make me feel?” 

“Eagle Flies was dying!”, Cathryn objected. 

“I don’t care about Eagle Flies!”, Dutch shouted, standing up. Cathryn cowered in fear, terrified of what was to come next. Dutch sighed, rubbing his face and the back of his neck. “Sleep here tonight, I have some things to take care of.”, he walked over to the tent entrance and left without another word. When he was gone Cathryn felt herself begin to hyperventilate. She gripped onto anything she could and tried to ride through the panic, after a few moments she felt herself calm down, tears staining her face. How she managed to sleep that night, she would never know. 

*** 

When Cathryn woke up, she realised that Dutch must not have slept that night, at least not in his tent anyway. She was still wearing the clothes from last night so quickly changed into some trousers and a shirt, it would hopefully make her feel a little bit more hygienic. As she walked out of the tent, she noticed that everyone was gossiping, hardly any work being done, she walked over to Abigail. 

“What’s going on?”, she asked. Abigail sighed, running her fingers through her hair, Jack was reading a book. 

“Mr. Pearson, Uncle and Mary-Beth snuck out last night.”, she whispered. “Dutch isn’t happy, scared they are gonna betray us.” 

“They wouldn’t do that, probably just scared...”, Cathryn replied, she looked over to see Dutch sat down with Micah. They looked engrossed in some plan. 

“That train is coming today, the one with the army supplies...”, Abigail said. “Dutch said that’s the final job before we can all leave. I’m just not sure I believe it...”, Cathryn nodded sadly. 

“I know what you mean.” 

“I just want a normal life, a safe life. Just me, John and Jack. Where we don’t have to worry about the law.”, Cathryn smiled, it sounded like a good dream. 

“You’ll get it, one way or another.”, Abigail smiled and pulled Cathryn into a hug. 

“I’m sorry about the other day, we really threw you in the deep end.”, Abigail frowned. “I had no idea we were being listened on. You’re my friend, Cathryn. No matter what’s going on with Dutch I don’t want to lose you.”, She squeezed onto Cathryn's hands tightly. 

“It’ll be okay. We just gotta get over this hurdle...”, Cathryn said. “Speaking of Dutch, I should probably see him.”, Abigail nodded understandingly and let her go. Cathryn could see the bags on Dutch from a mile away, he obviously didn’t sleep last night. “Morning...”, she greeted. “Can I get you anything?”, she kissed the top of his head. He turned to her, unable to muster a smile. 

“I’m fine, we need to head off soon anyway.”, he stood up and kissed her softly on the lips. 

“I could have slept somewhere else...”, she started. 

“It’s fine. I wouldn’t have been able to sleep anyway, this is the final job.”, they stayed silent for a while, watching each other. “Listen, I...”, his gaze was averted as Arthur finally came into camp. Cathryn quickly looked back to Dutch as Arthur came towards them, she didn’t want Dutch to pick up on anything. 

“Dutch...”, Arthur greeted, as if Dutch hadn’t left him for dead the day before. 

“Well, at least you ain’t run off...”, Dutch grumbled, putting his arm around Cathryn's waist. “Pearson left, Old Uncle too and Mary-Beth...said to Tilly they were going to save themselves. Traitors, the lot of them.” 

“So, it goes.”, Arthur sighed. 

“They are god-damn cowards. Of all the time we spent together...to just run off...”, Dutch said, becoming more agitated. 

“They just don’t wanna die Dutch.”, Arthur tried to reason but it made Dutch angrier. He hissed under his breath, dragging Arthur and Cathryn along to the backside of his tent, away from prying eyes. 

“This is a tough time...”, Dutch explained as Arthur began to cough violently, holding his hand over his mouth. “I know you ain’t doing too well and things are messy...”, Dutch glanced at Cathryn. “But we, our community, we will survive. They will not crush us.”, Arthur finally stopped, taking a deep breath. 

“I hope so...but...”, he thought for a moment and then carried on. “If we let Jack, and the women free...”, he gestured to Cathryn. “Maybe we could-” 

“There is no freedom for no one in this country no more, Arthur.”, Dutch argued, as if he had said the same thing a million times. “This is our final big score, then we have the money to leave. You can go wherever you like; they can go wherever they like and so can we...”, he pulled Cathryn to him again, she tried to stay silent. “All this turmoil has the army and Pinkertons spinning. We take a boat and slip away...” 

“It just seems like I’ve heard this all before.”, Arthur said, holding his ground. Cathryn began to get nervous; she could feel Dutch tensing beside her. 

“It’s one more train...” 

“It’s always a god-damn train!”, Arthur exclaimed, rubbing his tired eyes. His coughing started up again. 

“Arthur, this is different.”, Dutch came forward, patting Arthur on the back. A moment of softness during an argument. “We know this is full of cash, army payroll, money and supplies to repair the bridge that you three blew...”, he gestured to Cathryn. “This is all going to plan. We rob Uncle Sam and we leave.”, He walked over to Cathryn, caressing her cheek. “The poetry of it all.”, he admired, smiling, as if he were no longer angry about yesterday. “What do you think?”, he asked Cathryn but Arthur responded. 

“It sounds wonderful.”, Dutch turned back to Arthur. “Hell, I ain’t got anything to lose. But...the women and the children...”, Arthur gestured to the camp and to Cathryn, Dutch looked around. “John and his family...I’m afraid I will have to insist.”, Dutch turned slowly back to Arthur, his body tense again. “We have to let them go, because if the Pinkertons come through again...they will kill everyone.”. Cathryn watched Dutch, she could feel the anger radiating from him, but Arthur was none the wiser. 

“John?”, Dutch asked in disbelief. “Insist?”, his voice heavy. Cathryn felt her heart hammering as Dutch turned into a cobra, ready to strike at a moment's notice. If Arthur wasn’t dead already then he would be soon. Dutch still didn’t trust John, now he was beginning to piece Arthur in with the puzzle. Arthur thought for a moment on how to respond, but in the end, he was determined to not back down. 

“Yes.”, he took a deep breath. “Insist.”, the tension between the two was heavy for the few moments Dutch spent staring at Arthur, trying to figure him out. He then smiled; a fake one Cathryn had only seen a handful of times. 

“Of course, pal, whatever you think is best.”, he patted Arthur on the back. “I shall personally see to it. Now, we gonna rob a train?”, Arthur nodded, feeling even more vulnerable than he did when Dutch was angry. 

“Sure...”, Dutch nodded then, taking Cathryn by the arm and walking towards the camp-fire. “We will survive.”, he said to Arthur. “We will flourish.”, as they made their way to the fire, Dutch called out. “Alright everybody! Let’s go! We’re gonna borrow a little money from old Uncle Sam, and be out of his hair, once and for all.”. The gang then stood up, making their way to the horses. Cathryn was ready to go but Dutch pulled her back. 

“What? I thought we were leaving?”, Cathryn asked. 

“I don’t want you coming along.”, he said. 

“Why? Sadie is going!”, Cathryn argued. 

“Sadie isn’t going to be my wife when this is all over. You are...and I want you safe. My mind has to be on the train, on the money, I can’t be worrying about you.”, he came close, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. “You gotta promise me that you will be here, waiting, when I return.”, Cathryn sighed, nodding, it would give her some time to prepare to leave and spend some final moments with the others. 

“Alright, I’ll be waiting for you.”, she said, Dutch smiled and pulled her in for a kiss. 

“That’s my girl.”, he then pushed away and went over to the Count, it wasn’t long till they all vanished into the forest.


	61. Faded Facades

An hour or so after Dutch and the rest of the gang had left, Cathryn found herself playing with Tilly and Jack. Abigail had gone just out of camp to get some last-minute supplies and has asked the two of them to look after her son, at this precise moment he was teaching them how to construct the perfect flower crown. 

“Then, when you think it will stay on your head you loop it back this way...”, Jack said, concentrating hard on finishing his flower crown. Cathryn smiled at him, he was such a sweet boy, John had no idea how lucky he was. Out of the thicket, Cathryn heard the whinny of a horse and looked to the forest. They were a little out of the way of camp but close enough in case there was any danger, something seemed off to Cathryn. 

“Everything okay?”, Tilly asked, noticing Cathryn's unease. 

“Stay here with Jack.”, Cathryn said quietly, grabbing her bow and arrow. “Don’t leave this spot unless you have to.”, Tilly nodded, her face now serious as she tried to keep Jack quiet. Cathryn crouched down, creeping slowly to where she knew the nearest road was. The closer she got, the louder the noise: footsteps, mumbles and a cough or two. Thankfully the forest gave her ample protection and cover, she was able to slip past a few trees, trying to figure out what was going on. When she saw the mob of Pinkertons on horseback, her heart stopped. They were travelling directly into camp. To make matters worse, on the horse of one of the men was Abigail, tied up and gagged. Cathryn could tell she had been crying with her red, wet face. 

There were too many of them, it would have been a hard enough battle with the rest of the gang here. They had to escape, go back for Abigail later. Jack was her number one priority. Cathryn slipped back into the forest and ran as fast as she could to Tilly and Jack. If they got to camp, they might make it, but she doubted it. 

“What’s happening?”, Tilly asked in panic as she saw Cathryn's face. 

“Pinkertons, a lot of them. They have Abigail...”, Cathryn said quietly, Jack was still preoccupied with flowers. “No time to lose, we have to get to camp and warn the others.”, Tilly nodded and grabbed Jack, placing him on her horse. Cathryn mounted Rosemary and the two of them rode the little way back to camp. Everyone was up thankfully, though they seem alarmed when the two rode in. 

“What’s going on?”, Ms. Grimshaw asked, sensing the panic. 

“You have to leave, and hide, now! The Pinkertons are here, they have Abigail.”, Cathryn said, looking over her shoulder to see if she could hear them. “They’ll be here any moment, if you value your lives then go!”, Cathryn shouted. 

“What are you going to do?”, Ms. Grimshaw asked, concerned. 

“I’m gonna try and take Jack to John. Warn the others before they get here.”, Ms. Grimshaw nodded. “Stay safe.”, she ordered the others and then rode off into the direction of the train. All she could hope was that the rest of them got away. 

*** 

They had been riding for a while, terrified they were being followed, but when Cathryn finally saw Dutch on his white steed she sighed in relief. They were alive. 

“Dutch!”, she cried out, her and Tilly stopping to a halt. 

“Cathryn! What’s wrong?”, he asked, his face full of worry. “Are you hurt?” 

“I’m fine but it’s the Pinkertons...”, She panted, out of breath. “They found our camp, I managed to warn the others but they have Abigail.”, Arthur came forward, shaking his head in sadness. “We saved Jack but they took her.”, Cathryn looked around, trying to find John. “Where’s John?”, there was silence. “Where is John?”, she raised her voice. 

“He didn’t make it...”, Dutch answered, Cathryn's heart broke in two. 

“No... No he can’t be.”, she felt the tears slide down her face, another friend gone. Jack had lost his father. “We have to get her back. You know they’ll try her for murder.” 

“They’ve probably taken her to Van Horn.”, Sadie said, Cathryn smiled, a lead was a lead. 

“We’ve gotta let her go.”, Micah said, his opinion met with silence. Cathryn turned to him; her chest tight in anger. “Without John, she’s just bait...”. Micah then turned to Dutch, talking directly to him. “Dutch, we got what we came for. We can leave now, all of us. She’s just a girl, they won’t do anything to her.” 

“How dare you...”, Cathryn spat. 

“Me and the boys know!”, Micah interrupted. “We need to ride on this one Dutch. You know it, everyone here knows it...” 

“You can’t be serious?”, Arthur asked, riding forwards to meet Dutch. “She’s family!” 

“You’re actually considering this...aren’t you?”, Cathryn asked Dutch softly. She knew his face when he was weighing the pros and cons, she never realised that would extend to his own people's safety. At least with John he had put up a façade of getting him back at some point. Now, he had just given up. “What about Jack? You’re gonna make him an orphan?”, she pressed. 

“It ain’t like that!”, Dutch exclaimed, rubbing his eyes. 

“Then what is it like?”, Arthur pushed on. 

“I wanna live cowpoke.”, Micah stated. “I’ve got the choice! We all do!”, he came closer to Dutch. “Dutch, it’s just a girl...” 

“You’re right...”, Dutch conceded. 

“What?”, Cathryn exclaimed in shock, she never dreamed he would actually agree to leave her. “Dutch, no...” 

“It pains me to say it, Cathryn, but he is right.”, he tried to explain but Cathryn was having none of this. 

“You can’t do this Dutch!”, Arthur shouted. 

“My mind is made up!”, Dutch stated. “We have to go.” 

“You’re a monster.”, Cathryn spoke, causing everyone to stare at the pair of them. Tears welled in her eyes as she saw his reaction. She couldn’t hide her feelings anymore. “You can have this back...”, she took the ring he had given her off her finger and threw it at him, he caught it with one hand, staring at the trinket. “I don’t want it anymore.”, without another word she rode off into the other direction and through the forest. 

“She’ll be back, Dutch, I promise.”, Micah said, observing Dutch as he stared at the ring. “If not, I’ll go get her myself...”, he whispered. “Come on! Back to camp!”. He called out to the gang. Dutch looked to the road as the others passed him, still stationary with Arthur, Sadie and Tilly. 

“Get her back Arthur.”, Dutch ordered, his face like stone, before finally following Micah. 

*** 

“Well, that was brave...”, Arthur said as he came up behind Cathryn. She was staring at a small waterfall, finally at peace. “Surprised he didn’t go after you though...sent me to do it instead.” 

“Micah has a tight hold of his leash.”, Cathryn said, dropping a stone into the water. “Dutch is just a puppet now...”, she turned to Arthur. “We have to get Abigail back, for Jack.” 

“Well of course we do, we just came to fetch you first.”, Sadie said, joining them. “We gave Tilly some of the money from the train job, she’s gonna meet us at Copperhead Landing. She’ll keep Jack safe till then.”, Cathryn nodded, standing up. 

“So, you reckon Van Horn?”, Cathryn asked, walking to Rosemary, Sadie nodded. 

“Yep, they gotta put her on a boat so I reckon it’s the dock on the North end of town. We can sneak in behind them, shouldn’t be too far.” 

*** 

When they finally made it to Van Horn they dismounted, it would be quieter on foot. Arthur had started coughing again, Cathryn could hear that it had gotten a lot worse. 

“You okay?”, she asked Arthur, a hand on his shoulder. He nodded, trying to catch his breath. 

“I’ll be fine.” 

“Me and Cathryn will sneak in and you can cover us...”, Sadie suggested to Arthur. 

“Gee, thanks!”, Arthur said sarcastically. 

“I didn’t mean it like that, you’re just a better shot than me...”, she tried to calm him. “Just go in the Lighthouse and cover me.”, She offered Arthur her rifle and he reluctantly agreed. Cathryn watched as Arthur ran into the light-house as her and Sadie made their way into town. 

“Thanks for helping Sadie.”, Cathryn said softly. 

“Hey, no problem. Dutch's mind is all over the place, where are you gonna go now? Could always come with me...”, she offered. 

“I have a plan, but if it doesn’t work out then I’ll find you.”, Sadie smiled and nodded. “Ready?”, Cathryn asked as she saw some guards in front of them. 

“Ready.”, Sadie confirmed and the two hid behind a store, waiting for Arthur to get rid of them. Three shots were heard and Cathryn watched as the guards fell to the floor. There was no one else around so the two of them took the decision to run straight into the trading post. As they got through the door there was a gunshot as Pinkertons surrounded them. They grabbed onto Sadie and Cathryn, tying them up with rope and gagging them. Cathryn tried to struggle when she saw Abigail who was also tied up, at least she was alive. 

“Well well well...it seems Dutch gets the women to do all his dirty work.”, Agent Milton said. “Suprising really...anyone else with you?”, he put a gun to Sadie's head but she shook it. Cathryn watched as more Pinkertons came out of the trading post, there were a lot more men than she previously thought. Whether Arthur would come for them she had no idea. “Well, they will.”, he said, turning to face Cathryn. “Especially for you...Dutch's little play-thing.”, he placed the cold tip of his pistol on her cheek, running it down her neck. “I want word out immediately that Cathryn Blanchard is to be hung for treason!”, he shouted to an assistant. “We’re gonna draw him out, catch him and then make him watch as we hang you. No more second chances...”, Milton said. 

Gunfire was suddenly heard outside; Sadie and Cathryn looked to each other. Arthur had come to save them. Cathryn watched as Mr. Milton ordered more guards to come out as he disappeared behind a door. Damn him, Cathryn thought, he was going to escape again. After a few more minutes of gunfire there was a bang at the door, Arthur burst through. He was out of breath but relieved to see them all alive. He fired two more shots at the assistants and then put his gun away. 

“Okay Ladies...”, he said, first untying Cathryn. “Let’s get you out of here.”, a click of a gun was heard as the four of them turned to find Mr. Milton had returned, his gun to Arthurs back. 

“Calm down Mr. Morgan.”, he said, Arthur began another fit of coughing. “That’s quite a cough you’ve got there.”, Arthur put his hands up in surrender and circled around. 

“Tuberculosis.”, Arthur sputtered. “I’ll be dead soon, and you with me, Mr. Milton.” 

“You’ll be dead...sure...but I’ll be just fine.”, Mr. Milton leaned against a post, his arrogance fully on display. “We offered you a deal Mr. Morgan...”, Cathryn struggled, noticing how the rope around her wrist was almost loose. If she kept trying she might be able to break free. “You should have taken it.” 

“Well, I’m a fool Mr. Milton...”, Arthur responded. 

“Not all you boys have quite so may scruples...”, Milton continued. “Old Micah Bell...”, Cathryn turned her head at the name. Micah? He was the snake? 

“You mean Molly?”, Arthur asked in surprise, Cathryn felt her hand almost go free. 

“Molly O’Shea? We sweated her a couple of times, never said a word, we had to let her go.”, Cathryn felt a heavy weight in her heart. Molly never talked and Dutch...Dutch killed her. “Micah Bell...well we picked him up when you got back from the Caribbean and he’s been a good boy ever since.”, Cathryn felt sick, of course Micah was behind all of this, he was leading Dutch to his doom. Arthur began to cough again; Cathryn's hand was almost free. Suddenly, Arthur lunged for Milton, grabbing his wrist that held a gun and pointing it to the sky. The two struggled for a moment until Milton gained control, using his strength to push Arthur against a desk, the gun tilted to his head. 

“You’re losing your strength, Mr. Morgan.”, Cathryn felt her wrist go raw as she managed to get most of her hand free. 

“You’re still a yapping dog, Mr. Milton.”, Arthur spat, losing the battle. When all seemed lost, Cathryn ripped her bloody hand from her restraints, grabbed Dutch's pistol and shot Milton in the head. The four of them stared at each other for a moment, Cathryn looked down to see drops of blood running down her arm where her wrist had rubbed raw. 

“Shit, come on.”, Arthur said, covered in Miltons blood as he helped untie Cathryn. “Thanks for saving me back there.”, he took the gag out of her mouth. 

“No problem...”, Cathryn rubbed her aching jaw. When she was out, she started to untie Abigail whilst Arthur went to Sadie. “We’ve got to go back.” 

“You’re kidding?”, Sadie said. “What about Dutch?” 

“He needs to know about Micah, he played us all.”, Cathryn defended. “Dutch will believe me, I guarantee it.” 

“I don’t like the sound of this...”, Arthur grumbled, getting his breath back. “But you’re right. We have to tell everyone; we have to expose the snake.” 

“What happened to Jack?”, Abigail asked, finally free. 

“He’s fine, I helped him and Tilly escape before they found him. They’re waiting for you at Copperhead Landing.”, Cathryn said. “Listen, John didn’t make it...the train heist I mean...”, She wrapped her arms around Abigail. “I’m sorry.”, Abigail was silent for a moment, Cathryn could see she was holding back the tears. As much as Abigail hated to admit it, she still loved John, she would always love John. 

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine.”, she lied, trying to hold it together. “I just need to get back to my boy.”, Arthur nodded and the three of them got prepared to leave Van Horn. 

“This is gonna be fun...”, Sadie said, watching out the window as more guards were closing in. “We should go now.” 

“I’ll cover you.”, Arthur said, loading his gun. “Abigail, ride with Sadie.”, Abigail nodded and on the count of three they ran to their horses. Arthur took a few shots but then ran with the rest of them when he realised he was outnumbered, they quickly mounted and rode deep into the forest. 

“Some on the left!”, Abigail shouted as Cathryn got Dutch's pistol out and began shooting at them. There weren’t that many left however, most back in Van Horn, and they were quickly disposed of as they rode even deeper into the forest. When they were finally certain they were alone, the four of them stopped. 

“Sadie...”, Arthur said, out of breath “Take Abigail to Jack and Tilly, then go...”, Sadie looked concerned. “I’d ask you to do the same...”, he looked to Cathryn. “But I know you haven't given up on Dutch.” 

“Arthur, you don’t have to do this.”, Cathryn said. 

“No, I do. I owe it to you and the gang; they need to know who Micah really is.” 

“You don’t owe anyone anything Arthur, you gave your life for us.”, Cathryn said, finally seeing how weak Arthur had become. He wouldn’t last much longer now. “I’ll be fine...” 

“No. I have to make sure, then I’ll take you to Charlotte.”, Cathryn frowned but nodded, Arthur was always stubborn, no matter how sick he was. 

“Arthur, please...”, Abigail begged, tears pouring down her face, she had finally broken. “John...” 

“John loved you.”, Arthur interrupted. “He loved you and Jack, he wasn’t perfect, but he did. I didn’t see him die but...this is what he would have wanted. Now go...”, he pointed down the path. 

“Arthur...”, Sadie said. 

“Not you too Ms. Adler. Don’t want to hear anything from you, I have to do this, before I get worse.”, Cathryn could see Sadie holding back the tears, she believed this was their final goodbye. “Now go!”, he shouted. 

“Wait!”, Abigail said, ripping a piece of rope from her neck, a key was attached. “Take this, if you’re going back, I don’t need it anymore.” 

“What is it?”, Cathryn asked as Abigail handed it to Arthur. 

“There’s a chest in those caves, in the back and to the left. It’s hidden under a wagon, it’s Dutch's chest.”, It was hard for Cathryn to watch this, but if Dutch had truly changed then she had no qualms about taking it from him. 

“I’ve seen that chest.”, Cathryn said. “Don’t know how much is in it, but knowing Dutch it’s a lot. I could take you to it”, Arthur nodded, staring at the key. 

“Abigail Roberts...”, he said in astound. 

“I always was a good thief!”, Abigail laughed under tears. 

“That you were...”, Arthur said, putting the key in his pocket. “Now go on, get out of here. Be with your boy.”, Sadie and Abigail nodded before riding off into the horizon. Arthur turned to Cathryn, a frown on his face. “You ready to face him again?”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Let’s end this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aghh it's all kicking off! What is everyones predictions? :-) The next chapter was the idea that sparked off this entire story so I'm really excited to write it!


	62. The Truth

“Are you ready for this?”, Arthur asked as they slowly made their way towards camp. “You can always turn back. I can do this alone.”, Cathryn shook her head. She had to tell Dutch the truth, had to expose Micah for the snake that he was. A small part of her hoped that Dutch would believe her and atone for what he had done but that seemed less likely with each passing second. 

“No, I need to do this.”, she said, feeling slightly more determined. “What about you? You don’t look so good Arthur...”, Arthur coughed a bit, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. 

“If I’m going to die it’s going to be out in the world, helping those I love.”, he said, a small smile on his face. “Rather that then in some itchy bed, begging for death to take me.”. Cathryn smiled, she loved how Arthur could joke even in the saddest of times. “If anything happens then head over to Roanoke Ridge, that’s where Charlotte is. She said she’d help you get on your feet, she’s a good woman.”, Cathryn nodded. 

“Thank you, Arthur, for everything.” 

“Nah, don’t mention it...we’re here.”, he stopped just before the entryway to camp, there was no one on lookout but Cathryn could hear Micah barking orders at Ms. Grimshaw. At least she survived the Pinkertons. “Alright, let’s do this.”, Cathryn nodded and the two slowly rode into camp. Cathryn couldn’t see Dutch but she was certain she would soon. 

“Well, look who it is!”, Micah shouted, grabbing everyone's attention. “See, Dutch? I told you she’d come back.”, Dutch then emerged from the tent. He looked weary and tired, like he had aged ten years in the hours she had gone. There was a sense of shock on his face when he saw her, his left fist clenched around something, a small smile and sense of relief flooded him. 

“Cathryn.”, he said, walking over to her. Cathryn and Arthur dismounted their horses, “Thank you for bringing her back to me Arthur.”, he said, patting Arthur on the back. 

“She came back of her own accord.”, Arthur said. Dutch nodded, a smile on his face as he embraced her but she couldn’t return the gesture. He took a step back, his smile replaced with a frown. 

“What’s wrong? We can talk about this, we can work things out.”, he said, full of concern. 

“I think we all need to talk...”, Cathryn said, walking away from Dutch and to the center of the camp, Arthur following with her. 

“There’s no time. We’ve got to move.”, Micah sighed. 

“We saw Agent Milton, Dutch.”, Arthur said. Dutch looked confused but walked over to join them in camp. “We went there to rescue Abigail, not that you really care...” 

“Arthur, I-”, Dutch tried to interject but Arthur raised his hand to silence him. 

“Cathryn shot him, saved my life, saved all of us.”, Arthur gestured to her. “You’re all rats, leaving Abigail like that. She was one of our own, she was family. Seems like all you people are forgetting what this is all about.”, Cathryn looked to Dutch, she couldn’t read him. He was closed off to her now. “Seems old Micah was pretty close with Milton.” 

“What the hell are you talking about black-lung?”, Micah spat, walking forward. 

“You talked.”, Cathryn said, standing with Arthur. 

“That is a god-damn lie. I don’t know what Arthur has been feeding to you Cathy, you’re confused.”, he said softly, taking Cathryn aback. Is this what Micah's plan was all along? String her along, keep her alive, make it seem like Arthur and John were manipulating her? Like she couldn’t think for herself? Well, she knew she was right, but convincing Dutch of that would prove difficult. 

“Dutch.”, Arthur called out, begging Dutch to see the truth. 

“Dutch...”, Micah copied, sauntering to his side. “Think of the future, think of everything we’ve been through. I have never doubted you; I have always been by your side. She’s just confused and angry...”, he whispered though Cathryn could hear every word. 

“I’m not confused!”, Cathryn shouted. “I was there, I heard it myself!”, she looked to Dutch, pleading he would listen to her. “Dutch, please...” 

“Or maybe...you’ve been betraying Dutch all along?”, Micah accused. “After all, it’s not the first time you betrayed him.”, he spat, pretending to defend Dutch but she could see the glimmer in his eyes. He was enjoying this. 

“It all makes sense now...”, Arthur said, Micah turned back to him, walking away from Dutch to face Arthur. 

“No, it damn well doesn’t.”, Micah responded. In an instant the two men raised their pistols at each other, a stand-off. Micah had set off the other gang members as well, Bill and Javier raised their shotguns on Arthur, Micah's friends too. It was five against one. Cathryn took a step back; this was worse than she imagined. She needed to get through to Dutch. 

“Dutch, stop this.”, she begged Dutch. He looked at her, confused, like he had no idea what was real anymore. 

“Dutch, think!”, Arthur shouted. 

“Dutch, be practical now...”, Micah hissed. Dutch shut his eyes tight, hold his fists up to his head like he believed he was about to explode. 

“DUTCH!”, a voice shouted from the camp entrance, Cathryn looked to find John limping into camp. He was alive, holding a wounded arm. 

“John!”, Cathryn shouted. “You’re alive?”, Arthur was as much in shock as she was. 

“You left me...”, he growled to Dutch, walking over to the group. “You left me to die!”, Cathryn gasped, raising a hand to her mouth. She turned to face Dutch, his face grey, refusing to look back at Cathryn. 

“My boy...”, Dutch said, hesitantly walking past Cathryn towards John. “I didn’t have a choice.” 

“You left him...”, Cathryn whispered, “like you left Arthur.”, Dutch tilted his head to the side, acknowledging that he heard her. 

“I didn’t have a choice.”, he spat, becoming frustrated again. 

“You left me!”, John shouted, Dutch flinched at the tone. 

“All of you...”, Arthur began, his gun still aimed at Micah. “You gotta pick your side now, because this is over.”, Cathryn took a step back, still overwhelmed that John was alive, that Dutch had left him and Arthur. Would he leave her too? John raised his gun shakily and stood beside Arthur. “All them years, Dutch, for this snake?”, Arthur asked, shaking his gun at Micah who stood there smirking. 

“Oh, be quiet cow-poke.”, Micah drawled. “Be quiet, you live in the clouds.” 

“No!”, Ms. Grimshaw shouted, joining Arthur and John with a raised shotgun. “You be quiet Mr. Bell and put down your gun.” 

“Dutch, stop this!”, Cathryn said, turning to Dutch. One final plea. He looked down to his left fist and uncurled it, the ring glinting in the sunlight. 

“Come here.”, Dutch said, offering his hand, offering her the ring back. “We can sort this out, just come back to me.” 

“You don’t believe me.”, she realised. “You don’t trust me...”, she took a step back. 

“Cathryn!”, Dutch called out, stepping forward. 

“The Pinkertons are back, I can hear them!”, Javier shouted. A shot was heard and Cathryn turned quickly to see Ms. Grimshaw fall onto the floor, screaming as she tried to stop the blood pouring from her stomach. Cathryn watched her for what seemed like an eternity. All the shock, fear, guilt and sadness left her body, all that remained was rage. Quickly she took out her pistol, the one Dutch had given to her, and aimed it at Micah. 

“I don’t want to hurt you Cathy...”, Micah said, glancing at Dutch. “Put the gun down and go to Dutch like a good girl.” 

“Fuck you.”, Cathryn spat, ready to shoot him right now. 

“Enough!”, Dutch shouted, raising his guns at both groups of people. “Who amongst you is with me?”, he moved forwards, between the two groups, then turned around and aimed again. “And who is betraying me?”, Micah and the others began to slowly move with Dutch, standing tall behind him. Dutch's guns now moved over to Arthur and John but his eyes were on Cathryn. 

“Bill, Javier...think for yourselves!”, Arthur shouted, hoping they would join him, but they stood by Micah. 

“Cathryn!”, Dutch shouted. “Come here.”, Cathryn adjusted herself, aiming at Dutch now. 

“No, Dutch. You know where I stand, where I’ve always stood”, she shouted back. “You’ve made your choice now.” 

“She’s lying Dutch...”, Micah hissed in his ear, Dutch regarded him for a second, small seeds of doubt. “They’re lying!”, he shouted. Cathryn released the trigger, ready to fire. 

“PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS!”, a man shouted before gunfire rained down on the group. The stand-off put on hold as everyone tried to take cover. The Pinkertons had obviously left with hopes to return once people came back to camp. Cathryn ducked behind a crate, next to John and Arthur. 

“Shit.”, she cursed, her heart beating fast. 

“You did good.”, Arthur said, squeezing her shoulder. He tried to hold back a cough. “We need to escape though; we won’t win against them.” 

“This is Agent Ross with the Pinkerton Detective Agency! Put your guns down!”, a man shouted in the distance. Cathryn looked over the crate and took a shot at a man ride into camp. 

“Dutch! We gotta go! Come on!”, Cathryn heard Micah shout, watching Bill and Javier escape through the trees. 

“Cathryn!”, Dutch shouted, “Cathryn, come here!”, Cathryn closed her eyes tight, hoping if she ignored him, he would go away. “Cathryn please!”, he begged. 

“Dutch! Now!”, Micah shouted, annoyed. Cathryn watched him pull Dutch away from camp. “We’ll get her back. They’re all yours Mr. Morgan!”, then the rest of them ran off into the trees, drawing some of the Pinkertons away. There was still a lot of gunfire though, they needed an escape route. 

“The cave...”, she whispered. “You reckon the cave has an escape route?”, she shouted, shooting down another Pinkerton. 

“Only chance we got!”, John replied. “Let’s go!”, the three of them ran into the cave, the Pinkertons hot on their trail. It was dark but thankfully the torches were still alight to light their way. Cathryn had no idea where she was going, there were so many tunnels but John seemed to have a good sense of direction. He had been down here before. 

“Find them!”, she heard a voice say in the distance, footsteps echoing throughout the cavern. When they finally turned a sharp corner, they were met with a ladder that seemed to reach up to the next level. 

“Up this way!”, John said, climbing quickly up the ladder. Arthur gestured for Cathryn to go next which she did quickly and he followed behind her. They climbed up another ledge and another, clawing their way till they hoped to see the open sky. 

“Thank god you’re alive John Marston!”, Cathryn said. “I was so worried.”, they started to run through another passage of tunnels. 

“Yeah, I’m glad I’m alive too!”, John joked with his dry sense of humour. “You holding up okay Arthur?”, he asked. Cathryn glanced at Arthur as they ran, he wasn’t looking so good. 

“I’ll be fine, just gotta get outside.”, the three pressed on, making their way up several slopes. Cathryn was panting, her lungs burning, they had to be near the top soon. When all hope seemed lost Cathryn saw the ladder, sunlight pouring into the cave from the top. 

“We made it.”, she sighed in relief, following John up the ladder. When she reached the top, she helped lift Arthur up. He was wheezing now, struggling for air. 

“Let’s keep going, stop off in the woods. It will give us some time.”, John said, grabbing Cathryn by the crutch of the arm and dragging her towards the woods. 

“Arthur...”, she called, looking back as he tried to catch his breath. He looked up at her, eyes bright red. 

“I’m coming...I’m coming...”, he then staggered along with them, running through the trees until they heard nothing but silence. They would be safe for now. Arthur collapsed, falling to the floor as he tried to breath properly. Cathryn knelt down beside him, rubbing his back. 

“It’s alright Arthur, we’re safe. Rest up.”, Arthur nodded, getting out his flask and taking a swig of whiskey. The three of them whistled for their horses, “John, you should know that Abigails safe.”, John looked to her, joy filled his face. 

“Thank God, I was worried...”, he said, rubbing his face with his hand. “Where are they?” 

“With Sadie...”, Arthur coughed. “At Copperhead Landing.”, John grabbed both of their hands, squeezing tight. 

“Thank you, Brother...”, he turned to Cathryn. “and Sister.”, Cathryn smiled, happy tears filling her eyes. “I’m so sorry, about not stopping you from that stupid mission way back when. Maybe if I had, things would be different now.”, he wiped the tear that fell onto her cheek. “You two will always have a place in my heart.”, he went to leave but Arthur pulled him back. 

“Don’t look back, like I said.”, Arthur pushed, squeezing John tight. John nodded and when their horses finally arrived, they mounted them quickly. 

“There they are!”, Cathryn heard Micah shout from the distance. A thunderous roar of horses coming closer, a glint of Dutch's white steed in the moonlight. 

“We gotta go!”, she shouted and the three of them rode as fast as they could, hoping to escape their once called family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved writing this chapter, this chapter is what inspired me to write this entire story and 60 odd chapters later, here we are! There is one more chapter left of this story and then three epilogue chapters. Thank you all for being so supportive and encouraging me to finish this project.


	63. Sun-rise

“Come on, we gotta get moving!”, John shouted as the three of them rode as fast as they could. There was danger everywhere, Pinkertons scattered the forest and the old gang was still chasing behind them. 

“Come on girl...”, Cathryn said, encouraging Rosemary to keep going. 

“They’re everywhere!”, Arthur shouted, a bullet passed by him. “In the tree ahead!”, he pointed. “Look out!”, Cathryn grabbed Dutch's pistol and shot once, twice and finally she saw the body fall to the floor. The horses ran through a shallow river, the noise behind them subsiding as Dutch and the others became preoccupied with more Pinkertons. Cathryn rode up ahead, Rosemary regaining her strength. 

“Shit!”, she cursed as she saw more Pinkerton wagons. “They’re blocking the road; we need another way.”, she noticed a more downtrodden path to her left and turned quickly to follow it, Arthur taking a few shots so the men wouldn’t follow them. 

“Theres a whole army of these sons of bitches!”, John shouted, following behind her. “At least they’ll keep the others busy!” 

“I’m counting on it!”, Cathryn replied, riding up a steep hill. 

“Cathryn!”, she heard Dutch shouting from a distance, the sound caused an ache in her heart. 

“Shoot those fucking traitors!”, she also heard Micah shout, a bullet flew past her, too close that time. 

“Up this rough patch!”, John said, going off the path and even higher up the mountain. Cathryn turned, going higher and higher, she felt the impact before she heard the screams of her horse. Cathryn was flung into the air, hitting the ground hard on her back as her horse fell down, almost crushing her leg. Cathryn turned as she heard Arthur and Johns horses shot as well. She looked to Rosemary and crawled to her. 

“No, no, no...”, she whimpered, stroking Rosemarys face. “You’ll be okay...”, she whispered. “You have to be, you can’t leave me too...” 

“We’ve gotta go Cathy!”, John said, pulling her up. “Come on Arthur!”, Cathryn turned, Arthur too was mourning his steed. Arthur always had a way with horses, treated them greater than any human ever could. It was a quality he passed down to her. Arthur stroked his horses mane for the last time and stood up. The three of them would have to escape on foot. 

“What about the money?”, Arthur asked, pulling himself together. “Abigail gave us the key...” 

“I head down there and I’ll be dead in five minutes.”, John said. “I got a family, that’s more important.”, Cathryn nodded, agreeing with John. “If you want the money though Arthur, you head down. I gotta go to my family.”, Cathryn turned to Arthur, she would follow him to the end, regardless of his decision. 

“It could start a new life for you...”, Arthur said, turning to her. “You wouldn’t have to ever struggle...” 

“Family is more important, Arthur. We gotta help John.”, Cathryn said, smiling sadly. She knew he was doing this for her, but she couldn’t abandon John. 

“Alright then. Let’s get you two out of this bullshit, if it’s the last damn thing I do!”, Arthur said, putting his hat back on and making his way up the mountain. 

“Shit, we need to get to higher ground!”, John said as he heard more gunfire. “Don’t worry about the others Cathy...”, he looked to her. “They’ll be going back for the money.”, Cathryn nodded, he was right, money was all that mattered to Dutch. They ran alongside the cliff, hiding behind the rocks as more bullets rained on them. Travelling higher, and higher until Cathryn could see the sky start to light up. Cathryn turned, Arthur was slowing down, struggling to get up. 

“Come on Arthur, just a little further!”, she encouraged. Arthur nodded; he could make it. Cathryn saw a glimpse of Dutch and his horse ride across from the cliff. “Shit.”, she cursed, quickly hiding behind a boulder. 

“Come on Cathy.”, John said, offering his hand. Cathryn took it and climbed up even higher. “It’ll be okay. Come on Arthur! Keep pushing!”, Arthur was trailing behind them, panting. “Shit! Down!”, John shouted, Cathryn crouched down just in time as a bullet went past her. 

“They’re everywhere!”, Cathryn shouted, her blood pumping. 

“Just keep down!”, Arthur ordered, taking out his rifle and shooting the Pinkertons behind them. After the shooting quietened down, John dragged her behind the cliff, no one would be able to shoot them from there. Arthur trailed behind them, coughing violently, blood spewing from his mouth. Cathryn watched in horror as he wiped the blood across his face. 

“Come on Arthur, we’ve gotta go.”, John said, looking for a way to escape. 

“No. You two go.”, he said, trying to catch some air. 

“You can do this Arthur, it’s just a little further.”, Cathryn begged, she couldn’t lose him now. 

“No, no I’ve pushed all I can.”, Arthur said, his word was final. “You two need to go, I’ll distract them.” 

“No, I’m not leaving you Arthur.”, Cathryn said, gripping onto his coat. “We’re in this together, sink or swim.” 

“I won’t let you die for me.”, he said calmly. 

“I won’t let you die alone.”, she replied, stroking his cheek. “You can’t get rid of me Arthur, should know that by now.”, Arthur sighed, thought for a moment and then agreed. He knew there would be no changing her mind. 

“We’ll draw them off your scent John.”, Arthur said. “Then when the time comes...”, he grabbed onto both of Cathryn's hands, “You’ll sneak off, to Charlotte, no looking back.”, tears filled his eyes. “Promise me!” 

“I promise!”, she said, hugging him tight. Cathryn turned to John. “It’ll be okay, Brother.”, she ran her fingers through the back of his hair. “I’ll be with him.” 

“I can’t...I can’t leave you both...”, John said, trying not to let his emotions get the most of him. 

“Go on.”, Arthur said, patting his back. “Do it for me.” 

“Arthur...”, he tried again. 

“Get the hell out of here and be a goddamn man!”, Arthur shouted, a bit too harshly but time was running out, and he needed John to escape. 

“Alright, Brother.”, he said, conceding. “Thank you both, for everything.” 

“Go John.”, Cathryn said. “Go to your family. If I escape, I’ll find you.”, John nodded, staring one last time at Arthur before running off down the cliff side. 

“You’re stubborn as a mule.”, Arthur said, coughing again. “Wonder where you got it from...”, Cathryn smiled, a last moment of peace before what was to come next. 

“I got it from the best.”, she said as she held his hand, squeezing tightly. She would stay with him till the end. “Now, let's go kill some sons of bitches.”, Arthur chuckled and took out his gun. They ran out from their hiding spot, gunfire immediately on them. If they could take out a few, it would be enough, Cathryn knew the likelihood of surviving this was slim. As long as John got back to his family, that was all that mattered. Family was all that truly mattered. A few Pinkertons managed to get up the ridge but the two of them held firm, shooting them all quickly so they never got too close. 

“I think that’s most of them.”, Arthur said before a large shout startled them. Micah ran towards Arthur, appearing from nowhere, pushing them both off the edge of the cliff onto a landing further down. Cathryn ran to the edge, watching Micah punch Arthur repeatedly. 

“Arthur!”, she shouted, about to load her pistol when she realised she had run out of bullets. “Shit.”, she looked around, trying to find a way down that wouldn’t break her legs. There was a small slope that led to a jump, it would have to do. 

“You rat!”, Arthur shouted, “You rat!” 

“I’m a survivor, Black-Lung!”, she heard Micah shout as she quietly slid down behind them. Micah was too preoccupied with assaulting Arthur. “I’m a survivor! That’s all there is-living and dying!”, Cathryn ran forward, pushing Micah off of Arthur and wrestling him to the ground. 

“Get off him!”, she spat, trying to keep him down as Arthur slowly got up. 

“You fucking bitch, I’ve had it with your interfering.”, Micah grabbed hold of her hair and threw her off him and into the cliff edge. Her head hit the rock hard and she fell to the ground, vision blurry, unable to think clearly. She heard the two men grunting behind her, the sound of groans made her head ache as they wrestled each other. She took a few deep breaths before pushing up from the ground, trying to roll over to see what was happening. 

“Oh, Black-Lung, you don’t know how much I’ve longed to do this.”, Micah laughed as he punched Arthur in the jaw. Cathryn had fully turned over by now, watching Micah overpower Arthur. She slowly started to get back up, her head pounding. She couldn’t let Micah win. Arthur threw Micah back but he just kept coming back up, as if he had found some hidden strength. “You’re a weak fool.”, he spat. 

“You rat!”, Arthur shouted, punching Micah down again. Cathryn was standing now, holding herself up against the wall. Arthur pulled Micah forward, headbutting him and breaking his nose. Micah swore, kicking Arthur in the ribs so hard he fell down. 

“Still got a little fight in you, have you, boy?”, Micah teased, now over his injury, still ignoring Cathryn. 

“You can’t even kill a dying man.”, Arthur mocked, spitting to the ground by Micah's feet. Micah then roared, running and throwing Arthur against the cliff face, he fell to the floor, no longer moving. 

“No!”, Cathryn screamed, running at Micah. He turned quickly and managed to dodge her; it was like there were two of him. She ran her fingers through her hair as she caught her breath, her scalp sticky with what could only be blood. 

“You know, even with the bloody hair and the black eye...I would still fuck you senseless...”, Micah joked, watching her intently. 

“Screw you, you piece of shit.”, she spat. She would die before Micah touched her. Micah laughed, licking his lips. 

“You know, thinking about it, would Dutch really believe you if I did?”, Cathryn ran towards him full of rage but he side-stepped her, she fell to the floor. Her head was spinning. 

“Dutch...”, she whimpered, tears filling her eyes, her head hurt so much. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m gonna send you back to him. Pretty much threatened to kill me if I didn’t find you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna have some fun before that.”, she heard his voice get closer, when she felt his breath on her she swung her fist out but he caught it easily. “Shit, I hit you pretty hard. Maybe if I hit you again afterwards you won't even remember...”, he pinned her down then, admiring her like a prized possession. 

“I’d rather die...”, she spat. 

“After all...who wouldn’t want a piece of the pussy that drove Dutch van der Linde mad?”, Micah laughed, running his thumb across her lip. “I thought I was gonna have to get rid of you at first but then, wow, it was like you were helping me and you didn’t even know it. We could be partners, you and I...”, Cathryn spat in his face, causing him to growl. 

“You disgust me, you snake!”, she heard Arthur groan beside her as he became conscious again. Micah followed her glance, his scowl now a wide grin. 

“Ah, hello again black-lung, hope you’re ready for the show.”, he then leant down to whisper in Cathryn's ear. “Don’t worry, I don’t think he’ll be interrupting us.”, Cathryn found an opportunity, bringing up her knee and hitting him in the balls. He let go briefly, cursing in pain as she managed to crawl away but the next moment he grabbed onto her hips and dragged her back towards him. “Fucking bitch...”, he spat. Cathryn screamed but Micah pushed her face into the dirt. 

“Cathryn...”, she heard Arthur groan, trying to find her. 

“Wanna bet that he’ll die before I finish?”, Micah whispered. “I’m gonna take my time...”. He pulled on her trousers at the waistband, trying to tug them over her hips. “Fuck, I’m gonna enjoy this.” 

“Dutch-”, Arthur groaned before a shot echoed through the mountain, Micah's body went limp on top of Cathryn, crushing her. Cathryn quickly turned around, screaming as she saw Micah’s blank face and used all of her strength to push him off of her and down the cliff-side. She watched as he tumbled down into the darkness, a flock of birds flew off disturbed. She turned back to see Dutch staring at her, his gun raised, breathing heavily. They watched each other, unsure of what to do when Arthur began coughing again, Cathryn turned to him and crawled over. 

“Arthur...”, she called out, his face blotched from blood and bruises. “Arthur he’s gone...it’s over...”, she tried to clean the dirt from his face. He was struggling to breath now, his body slowly shutting down. Tears filled her eyes as she tried to fix his clothing. “Please, don’t go...” 

“Arthur...”, Dutch began, stumbling to his knees. “I’m sorry.”, he grabbed both of Arthur's hands, holding tight. “I’m so sorry. I failed you...I failed everyone...” Cathryn watched as droplets fell on Arthurs hands. “You were right, you were right all along. I was blind. I was so blind...”, Arthur coughed some more, trying to get the strength to talk. 

“I gave you everything I could Dutch. Micah-”, he coughed some more. 

“I know. I know now.”, Dutch said, brushing the hair out of Arthurs face. “You were always good to me, son. I never should have doubted you.”, Arthur turned his face slowly to Cathryn, removing his hands from Dutch and gripping onto hers. 

“You’ll be okay...”, Arthur whispered. “You’re stronger and smarter than you think. I’ll be with you, always.”, Cathryn sobbed, not wanting to let go. “Dutch...”, Arthur said, looking back on Dutch. “Promise me...” 

“Anything...”, Dutch said, his voice cracking. 

“Listen to her...trust in her...”, he coughed some more, his breath raspy. “Let her go, if that is what she wants...”, he gripped Dutch by the shoulder. “Be a god-damn man...” 

“I will...”, Dutch swore to Arthur. “Whatever she wants.”, Cathryn turned to Dutch, seeing that he was completely serious. He would let her go. 

“Good...”, Arthur sighed, slowly turning his face towards the rising sun. “It’s so beautiful...” 

“Cathryn, help me.”, Dutch said, grabbing Arthur. Cathryn followed him and took his legs, propping Arthur up against the cliff edge so that he could watch the sunrise. 

“We did it.”, Arthur said, squeezing Cathryn's hand, still staring at the sun. “We won...”, Cathryn nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. 

“We did, Arthur.”, she stroked his fist with her thumb. “It’s okay, you can rest now.”, Arthur took a deep breath, squeezing tight one last time. The three of them stayed like that for a while, watching and waiting until the sun lit up the once dark sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over, and I totally didn't cry writing the ending...
> 
> I know that this ending may not please everybody but I think it makes the most sense, I knew this was how it was going to end when I first started planning this story. So I hope that most of you will like it. 
> 
> Whilst this is, technically, the end...I will be writing 3 epilogue chapters. If you want to leave this fic as it is and have your own ending then that's fine but the next three chapters will be what I envisage. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for supporting! Whether that was a Kudos, Comment or Book-mark - it all meant so much to me and kept me going. This is an amazing community and I'm proud to be part of it!


	64. Epilogue Part 1: Haunting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your sweet comments. I am so happy that you have liked this story and I really hope you enjoy this Epilogue.
> 
> Also this chapter was really inspired by the song O Children by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. So I really recommend listening to it either after or before to get the feel of it! I dont usually attribute songs to writing but this song just really stuck with me.

Cathryn crouched low to the earth, fingers touching the imprints on the ground. The deer had passed through this part of the forest recently, and from the size of those hooves it would be enough for a feast. She had been tracking all morning, finally tired of the small creatures Charlotte had been catching. She’d mourned over Arthur for long enough now, she needed to focus. As she slowly made her way through the undergrowth of the forest, she caught a glimpse of movement to her right. There he was, the giant stag she had been following for the past few hours. He was a magnificent animal, if she shot him it would be her largest kill yet. She wasn’t sure how she would get the beast back to the cabin but she’d be a fool to let him go, the weather was already starting to turn. She crept forward to a small ledge, giving her better access to the stag, he hadn’t seen her yet. She slowly drew an arrow from her quiver, placing it against the bow string and pulled back. She took a few deep breaths and aimed, ready to bring the stag to its death when it looked directly at her. It didn’t move, it just stared, knowing she was there. She willed herself to let the arrow go, to shoot it down, but she couldn’t. There was something about this stag, something that compelled her not to hunt it. She cursed under her breath, feeling weak in that moment. She rubbed her eyes, hoping to bring herself out of this trance. When she looked back up the stag had gone, she would have to settle for rabbits. 

*** 

Cathryn dumped the rabbits on the table, still annoyed she hadn’t shot the stag down. Venison stew sounded really good right now, and these rabbits wouldn’t last long. 

“Thanks Cathryn.”, Charlotte said. “These look great, the pelts will be good for the winter as well.” 

“It’s alright.”, Cathryn replied, her voice unusually sharp. 

“What’s wrong?”, Charlotte asked, sitting down across from her. 

“Just feel like a lot of ghosts are following me today.”, Charlotte frowned, placing a hand on top of Cathryns. 

“It’ll be okay. You’ll move past it...”, Cathryn nodded, she knew she would, but that didn’t make any of this any harder. 

“Any idea where Dutch is?”, Cathryn asked, she hadn’t seen him when she woke up. 

“Probably out getting more wood, said he was going to build me a new chair, that way one of us won’t have to sit on the floor.”, Charlotte laughed. Despite the change in Dutch's mood, Charlotte seemed to like him, then again, she didn’t know him beforehand. The man was a shell of himself since losing everything, he seldom spoke but was grateful to Charlotte for allowing him to stay with them. The two of them hadn’t rekindled their relationship, the wounds were too deep. He slept on the living room floor whilst the women shared Charlotte's bed. Charlotte probably had no idea the pair used to be lovers. It had been two months since Arthur died, their only saving grace was that the threat from the Pinkertons had gone incredibly quiet. She had no idea where Javier and Bill had run off to, in all honesty she didn’t care too much. She just wanted to know if John made it back to Abigail and Jack alive. 

“I’ll see if I can find him.”, Cathryn said, standing up and putting on her hat. “You okay to skin those rabbits?”, Charlotte smiled. 

“I’ll have one roasting for when you two get back.” 

*** 

Dutch had gone further out this time, the first few weeks he had refused to leave the cabin unless necessary. Now he would go a bit further out each day, as if he was scared of what the world had become. She heard him before she saw him, grunting and almost shouting each time he swung the axe. The raw release of emotion she had only seen a couple of times since Arthur's death, it seemed that being alone was the only time he felt safe enough to let his anger go. Anger almost entirely aimed at himself. 

“I think that’s enough wood.”, Cathryn said, emerging from the forest. Dutch stopped, slightly embarrassed she had caught him in this state. 

“I promised Charlotte I would build her a chair.”, he explained, eyes to the floor. 

“Could probably build her two with that much wood.”, she came closer to him. “I think we should talk...”, Dutch sighed and started to put the wood in a large sack. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”, Cathryn put her hands on her hips. 

“I think there is...”, she said. “You can’t just keep acting like this!”, Dutch turned to her, his jaw clenched. 

“I don’t need to hear this, I don’t need to talk!”, he shouted. “What do you want me to say, Cathryn? That I fucked up? That I failed everyone? That it’s my fault Arthur is dead? Don’t you think I already fucking know that?” 

“Dutch...”, Cathryn tried to calm him down but he wasn’t done ranting. 

“I can’t remember the last time I slept all night. I can’t remember the last time I slept without seeing their mangled faces, shouting at me and chasing me, trying to make me pay for killing them.” 

“Who are you talking about?”, she asked confused. 

“Hosea! Arthur! Ms. Grimshaw! All of them...”, he sat down on the ground, “even Molly...”, he hid his face in his hands. “Vengeful spirits, all around me, waiting until I pay the price for my sins.”, Cathryn watched him, unsure of what to say and what to do. In all honesty she still blamed him for a lot of what happened, if she were a stronger woman, she would have left him on that cliff but despite all that happened between them she was terrified of being alone. 

“We have to go.”, Cathryn said, trying to change the subject. “Charlotte is roasting some rabbit and she’ll be wondering where we’ve gotten to.”, Dutch still didn’t move, so Cathryn decided to leave without him, finally hearing the sound of his footsteps after a few meters of distance. 

*** 

Cathryn woke up with a start, she had a nightmare about Micah and what would have happened if Dutch hadn’t found them. She rubbed her eyes and looked over to Charlotte who was still sleeping. It was still dark out but when Cathryn looked out the window she saw the sun was ready to rise. She walked into the living space, expecting to see Dutch sleeping on the floor but he was gone, a note on the table with the ring he used to propose. After all this time, he still kept it. She picked up the ring, caressing its edges with her thumb. Instinctively she held it to her lips, kissing it softly before placing it back on the table. She then turned to the note and read it quickly. 

_To my Dearest Cathryn,_

_It has been two months since Arthur's death on this very day. Every day I have counted, hoping that time will go fast and eventually I will move on. It was a selfish dream; I realise that now. I have no idea why you let me escape with you that morning, why you did not kill me for what I did to you, what I did to everyone. Maybe that was to be my punishment, to see the woman I loved every day and to see the hatred and pain I had caused her every time she looked at me. My existence has brought pain and suffering to everyone I have ever loved or cared for. I saw myself as the hero but perhaps deep down I was worse than Colm O’Driscoll. I preached about love and freedom and family and yet I turned my back on everyone. The truth is, I am a coward, and I cannot stand this suffering any longer. The spirits I have betrayed will be put to rest soon, after they have dragged me to the darkest pits of hell. I am sorry to leave you alone, my love, but we both know you will be better off without me. At the bottom of this note I have enclosed the address of the treasure we obtained in Blackwater, under my mother's grave. It should be more than enough to get you started in life. My dying wish is that you should be comfortable and never want for anything. I love you, my darling, and I always will._

_May God judge me fairly,_

_Dutch van der Linde_

Cathryn stared at the note in shock, turning over the note to see if anymore had been written but it was blank. She had to find Dutch, had to find him before he did something stupid. She ran outside, noticing how The Count was missing before grabbing Charlotte's horse and tracking the horse prints as long as she could. Cathryn rode through Roanoke Ridge, keeping her eyes peeled for the white stallion. When she finally saw Dutch, staring out onto the open horizon at the edge of a cliff she jumped off the horse and ran to him. 

“Dutch! Stop!”, she shouted, stopping a few feet from him. He didn’t move, as if he hadn’t heard her, or couldn’t bear to see her face. “Dutch please, don’t do this.” 

“All my life, I thought I could do this. I thought I had the power to stop what was happening to this country. I was wrong...”, he said, staring into the distance. 

“Dutch please, come back...”, Cathryn begged, not interested in his monologue. 

“But we can’t always fight nature. We can’t fight change. We can’t fight gravity. We can’t fight nothing...”, he turned to her, tears filling his eyes. “My whole life all I ever did was fight, it’s all I thought I was good for.” 

“That’s not true. You don’t have to fight anymore Dutch, you lost...”, she said, trying to make him see that he had to find a new future. 

“But I can’t, I can’t Cathryn. It’s a paradox...”, he laughed to himself. “I can’t fight my own nature either...”, he looked back to the horizon. “Our time has passed...” 

“You can’t just leave me, you can’t just die...”, she said, trying to find anything to say that would make him stop. “You have to find a new future, a new purpose, you can’t just give up!” 

“All I have done is bring pain and suffering to everyone I meet.”, he said. “You’d be safer and happier if I was gone, if I freed you of your love for me...” 

“That’s not true, Dutch.”, Cathryn said, tears filling her eyes. “I spent so many years waiting for you and searching for you...I’m so sick of being alone. You can’t do that to me Dutch!”, she wiped the tears from her eyes. “After all you have put me through, you can’t just leave with a stupid note! I thought you loved me, I thought I meant more to you than anything!” 

“You know I do!”, Dutch shouted back, refusing to look at her. 

“No, you don’t! Because if you did you never would have left! Not unless I asked you to!”, she broke down, crying in her hands. “And I never did...I never asked you to leave...”, she took a deep breath. “They haunt me too...”, Dutch turned to her confused. “Because they know that despite everything you’ve done I still love you and I will never forgive myself for that.”, his eyes softened at her appearance, wanting nothing more than to comfort her. 

“I’m sorry...”, Dutch apologised, his eyes heavy and red. He had been crying too. 

“I’m pregnant.”, she confessed, her head still in her hands as she refused to see his reaction. “I’m terrified...please don’t leave me alone...” 

“You’re pregnant?”, he asked in shock. “I had no idea...” 

“That’s why I was so sick before the train heist. Ms. Grimshaw noticed and told me; I was unsure but now I’m certain. I haven’t bled in three months...”, she looked up at him, her eyes blurry. “I know I should have told you but I was so scared...”, she sobbed, falling on her knees. A few moments later she felt him embrace her, pulling her tightly towards him. 

“You don’t have to be sorry about anything.”, he whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I won’t leave you; I promise. No matter how hard it gets. I promised Arthur I would listen to you, that I would trust you. I haven't been very good at keeping that promise.”, Cathryn held onto him tight, sobbing into his shirt. She had pent this up for so long that she felt like she was crashing down. “I love you so much, my darling girl.” 

“What are we going to do?”, she asked, terrified for the future. 

“We’ll take it slow, one step at a time.”, he pulled her right hand up to kiss it. “Whatever makes you comfortable. No matter what, I promise I’ll be here for you.” 

*** 

The next couple of months were long and difficult for the pair, rekindling the relationship brought back painful memories and emotions that could not just be disregarded. There were some days where the guilt and anger Cathryn felt made her unable to even look at Dutch. When things became unbearable, they would travel to the middle of the forest and scream at each other, releasing the pent-up energy and frustration that still lingered in their hearts. But after the final insults and curses were exchanged, they would embrace one another, terrified they had gone too far. After a while they no longer felt resentment, there was no need for more outbursts, their pain was numbing and they could take the next step. 

When the leaves started to turn orange and gold, they finally decided to travel to Arthur's grave. Burying him was the first thing they did after he had died. He was buried high on a hill where the sun could shine over him, wild flowers had begun to grow there now. Cathryn knelt down, pressing a kiss to her fingertips and tracing the name Dutch had carved in stone. Dutch did the same. They sat there until the sun began to set, reminiscing on the old stories of when they had been a family, when Hosea, Bessie, Arthur and Ms. Grimshaw were alive. She laughed as she recalled how Arthur had thrown her in a lake, not realising she couldn’t swim and saved her before she had drowned. Before they left, they placed a small piece of bread by his tomb-stone. We’ll return soon, they said, one last lingering look. 

Cathryn would still have nightmares, they seemed to never go away. She was terrified she would wake Charlotte with her cries in the night but she slept like a rock. One night she left the room, and found Dutch still awake at an unreasonable hour, reading a book by candlelight. He also found it difficult to sleep. For some strange reason all she wanted to do was sit by him, rest into the warmth of his chest. He obliged; nervous she would be angry in the morning but she never was. Sleeping beside each other brought them the first night of peace they had in months, though both of them refused to admit it. 

The day Cathryn finally shot her first big kill they decided to celebrate, as much as they could for three people living in a small cabin in the wilderness. They lit a bonfire and Dutch brought an old gramophone that he had found and fixed. Cathryn had begun to cut up the deer, focused on her work, when she felt the eyes of another on her. She looked up to see Dutch staring, his eyes full of admiration and pride. She smiled at him, the first real smile in what seemed like forever. After they had feasted, Charlotte went off to sleep claiming she had a headache, leaving Dutch and Cathryn alone. He slowly walked up to her, offering his hand which she took cautiously. He helped her up and pulled her into his arms, turning slowly. The music cut through the silence of the forest; the heat of the fire kept them warm as they continued to dance. Cathryn closed her eyes as she rested on Dutch's shoulder, her heart fluttered, shaking off the dust in her chest. They danced for what seemed like eternity, saying nothing and only pulling apart when the music stopped. A soft kiss between two lovers, their hearts had almost healed. 

Cathryn's pregnancy was starting to show when they finally decided it was time to move on. Charlotte was sad to lose the company but she knew that this was what the pair needed. She gave them some provisions and a few pieces of furniture she no longer needed, wishing them safe travels and a happy future. Dutch and Cathryn thanked her for the shelter and her kindness, promising to write often and visit soon. They waved goodbye as they rode off in their wagon, unsure of what the future would hold.


	65. Epilogue Part 2: New Beginnings

**1906**

Cathryn rode the wagon into Black-water, grateful that they had once again had a safe journey. Despite her previous relationship with the law, she had to admit that they managed to crack down on a lot of attacks on the road. She thought that perhaps one day she would be able to travel without her gun but by that point she might be too old and frail to travel. Cathryn hadn’t gone this way in a while and she normally never travelled so far from home but there had been shipping issues near their home in the North with supplies running dangerously low. People had the option to either wait out the storm or find their own food, Dutch and Cathryn refused to sit back and wait in case things got worse. 

“How much longer?”, a small voice beside her. 

“We’re almost there Edith.”, Cathryn said, stroking the top of her head of thick black hair. Edith had been a good girl the entire journey, happy to bury her nose in her book. “You must have finished that by now...”, Dutch had given it to her for the journey, he wanted it to be a challenge for the five-year-old. 

“Have you ever seen a lion, mama?”, Edith asked, looking up in curiosity. 

“I’ve seen a mountain lion, thankfully it didn’t see me.”, Edith thought for a moment, her nose scrunched. 

“Maybe it did see you but was scared.”, she finally said, looking back down to her book. Cathryn laughed to herself. 

“Perhaps...”, she could see the outskirts of Blackwater up ahead, maybe she should look for another book for Edith, she remembered Blackwater used to have some collections. 

“What about a wizard? Have you ever seen a wizard?”, Cathryn thought for a moment. 

“Perhaps, most wizards had to go into hiding the last time I heard...”, Edith looked up in alarm. 

“Why did they hide?” 

“Alot of people were scared of magic and other people wanted to use the Wizard to do terrible things. Now they can live in peace, but it makes everything else quite boring.”, she pulled up by the general store, Edith still slightly upset that she wouldn’t ever meet a wizard. “Don’t worry Edith, maybe one day you’ll meet a wizard, you may just not know it!”, she tapped her daughter lightly on the nose and lifted her down onto the ground. “Stay there.”, she then went around to the back of the wagon, taking the money Dutch had given her and headed back around the front of the store. “You ready?”, she asked, taking her daughters hand. 

“Yes, mama.”, the two of them walked into the general store, Cathryn could already see the larger variety on offer. She should be able to get enough supplies to last for a month or so. 

“Hello Ms. What can I do for you today?”, a friendly face asked her, wiping his hands on his apron. 

“I was wondering if you had any of these items in stock?”, she passed the man a note with everything Dutch had written down. “I’ve got a wagon out back that needs loading up.”, The man read through the list, nodding every so often. 

“Yes, I think we have most things here. Let me guess, supply issues up north?”, Cathryn nodded. “I’ve had quite a few travelers make their way down this way.”, Cathryn smiled. 

“Well at least business for you is going well.”, she joked and the man chuckled to himself. 

“Gets bread on the table! It may take a while Ms. so feel free to look around.”, Cathryn nodded, checking the money in her purse as the store clerk went about his business. 

“I thought I recognised that voice.”, she heard behind her, the rasp in his voice so recognisable. 

“John?”, she asked, turning around. There he was, John Marston in the flesh, looking much better than when she last saw him. “Oh my god, it is you!”, she ran up to him, embracing him tightly. “I had no idea whether you escaped, I was so worried for so long!”, she pulled away, suddenly filled with a million questions. “Did you find Abigail? Are they alright?”, John laughed. 

“We’re all fine, got ourselves a ranch just a bit away from here.”, Cathryn laughed, arms on her hips. 

“John Marston, living on a ranch...never thought I would see the day...”, the two of them laughed before John finally noticed the small child next to her. There was no doubt who this child's father was. 

“Cathy...I had no idea...”, he said in shock, kneeling down to the ground. “Hey sweet-heart. What’s your name?”, he asked softly, finally a family man after all. 

“Edith...”, Edith said after a small pause, it always took her a while to meet strangers. She spent most of the time in their home. 

“Well, nice to meet you Edith.”, John said, reaching his hand out for her to shake. “She’s beautiful Cathy.”, Edith ignored the compliment and shook his hand, John's smile going wider. He stood back up. “You should come see the ranch! You won’t believe it but Sadie is here too! Charles as well and Uncle! I know Abigail would love to see you.”, Cathryn thought for a moment. She wanted to see them more than anything in this world but she suddenly became very scared, talking often lead to questions, and she doubted they would be happy she had stayed with Dutch all this time. 

“I’m not sure...”, she said, looking to the floor. 

“Hey, I know Jack will want to see you too. He’s real big now!”, John said, placing a hand on her shoulder. 

“Alright...”, Cathryn conceded, excited to see her old friends. “Let me just finish getting these supplies and then we can head off.” 

*** 

Beecher’s Hope was a quaint ranch just down the road from Blackwater, John had told Cathryn all about it and how he had managed to build it on their journey over. She could tell John loved this place with every fiber of his being. It was the perfect place to build a new life and help raise Jack. 

“You can park the wagon just there Cathy!”, John said, pointing to a spot near his home. Cathryn pulled up as a dog ran over to the wagon, barking loudly. 

“A dog!”, Edith shouted, pointing at the small sandy dog, his tail wagging rapidly at new visitors. 

“That’s just Rufus.”, John said as he came forward, petting the dog on the head. “Jack's pride and joy, don’t worry, he’s real friendly”. Cathryn smiled, she always loved dogs. She got down from the wagon, giving Rufus a small scratch and then helped Edith down. Although hesitant, after not seeing a dog before, Edith remembered the small dog in her story-book and giggled as Rufus licked her hand. 

“Good doggy!”, she said, petting Rufus just like her mother did. 

“Let’s go inside.”, John said, beckoning the two over. “Boy, is Abigail gonna be happy to see you!”. John led the way into the Ranch, Cathryn admired how beautiful their home was. Abigail always said if she ever got a house it would be the prettiest one anyone had ever seen, she wasn’t wrong. “Hey Abigail! Look who I met in town!”, John shouted. 

“John Marston! I got enough guests in this house! How am I-”, Abigail walked around the corner and upon seeing Cathryn went speechless. “Cathryn!”, she shouted, running over and pulling Cathryn into her arms. “I can’t believe it! And look at you, like you haven't aged a day! Consider me jealous!”, she laughed. 

“And this is Edith...”, John said, taking a step to the side to reveal the black-haired child. Abigail looked down, and stared at the child for a moment. She looked back to Cathryn in shock. 

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry! I had no idea!”, Cathryn winced, unsure how she should take that comment. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”, Cathryn said, stroking her daughter's hair. She decided to change the subject. “Your house is lovely.”, Abigail snapped out of her trance and nodded. 

“Yeah, I’ve done as much as I can with what we have. Oh, come in! Come in! Sadie, Charles and Uncle are here too!”, with that Abigail rushed back into the living room and Cathryn followed her, holding Ediths hand. “Everyone! Look who’s here!”, Abigail shouted as Cathryn turned the corner. There they were, even more faces she never expected to see again. 

“Cathryn!”, Charles exclaimed. “It’s good to see you!”, they all crowded around her, Edith hiding behind her mother's leg. There were too many strangers today. 

“You got away!”, Sadie laughed, “I had no idea what happened to you, when I found John he just said that you stayed with Arthur to draw the Pinkertons off him.”. Arthur, Cathryn thought, just hearing his name brought back so many memories. 

“Who's this little one?”, Uncle asked, poking his head around to the side to see the little girl in the red dress. 

“This is Edith, she’s a little shy.”, she stroked the top of Ediths head to comfort her. “It’s alright Edith, these are all friends. You can say hello.”, Edith clung tightly onto her mother's leg but poked her head out to the side. 

“Hello.”, she said quietly, everyone gushed. 

“Why don’t we sit down.”, Abigail said, gesturing to the chairs. “Let me just get Jack, oh Cathryn he’s grown too much!”, Abigail called for Jack and Cathryn was surprised at how truthful Abigail was being. Jack had grown a lot since she last saw him. He must be around the same age that she lost her parents, time had gone so fast. 

“Hey Jack.”, Cathryn said, lost for words. “You’ve grown a lot since I last saw you.” 

“Cathy...”, Jack said, recognising her though his memory was blurry. “I remember...”, Cathryn smiled, shocked that he did still remember her. Then again, they had many unpleasant memories together. 

“Jack, why don’t you take Edith outside and show her the animals?”, Abigail asked. Cathryn was hit with a wave of anxiety, she hated letting Edith leave her side unless she was with her father. Abigail sensed the distress. “Oh, don’t worry Cathryn! This ranch is very safe, Jack goes out all the time on his own!”, Cathryn nodded reluctantly, it would be good for Edith to play with someone around her age. Edith looked at her mother, uncertain what she should do. 

“I’m sure Rufus is outside if you want to play.”, that made Edith smile and she quickly ran off with Jack. 

“So, what happened?”, Sadie asked. “What happened with Arthur?”, Cathryn frowned, playing with her fingertips. She knew she had to tell them the truth and they weren’t going to like it, they may even distrust her for it. But she couldn’t lie to them. 

“We fought off some of the Pinkertons and then Micah found us and started attacking Arthur, I tried to stop him but he just started attacking me as well. Arthur was on the brink of death, I thought Micah would kill him for sure. He....”, Cathryn took a deep breath. “He tried to force himself on me...”, she looked up to see the rage in Sadie's face. “But Dutch found us and shot him.” 

“Shit, that’s intense.”, John said, Cathryn nodding. 

“Arthur was still alive so we helped him up and spoke to him, assured him everything was okay. Dutch apologised for everything he had done...then we watched the sunrise together. I can mark on a map where we buried him if you want to see his grave.”, she said, looking to John. 

“Thank you, I want to pay my respects.”, John said and Cathryn nodded, smiling sadly. 

“What about Dutch?”, Sadie asked, eyes narrowed. Cathryn sighed, unsure of where to look. 

“I’m not asking you to forgive Dutch. When I look back on how everything turned out I am still filled with rage and betrayal, I won’t take that from you.”, She looked back to John. “But I was scared and alone and Dutch...I couldn’t leave him.” 

“He left John...”, Abigail said, frustrated that her friend had made what she deemed a terrible choice. “You stayed with him?” 

“It wasn’t easy.”, Cathryn said, trying to defuse the situation. “It wasn’t like I ran into his arms and everything was as it was. It took me months to even be able to speak to him properly...”, Cathryn sighed, “He knows what he has done, he is remorseful for it, he’s changed. I’m not asking for you to forgive him, nor am I asking for you to visit and see him. I just want you to respect my decision, like Arthur did.”, Abigail stayed silent, unable to look at Cathryn. 

“So, are you with Bill and Javier still?”, Charles asked but Cathryn shook her head. 

“I have no idea what happened to those two. We stayed with a friend of Arthurs for almost half a year until we found new lodgings and work. Then Edith came along...it was hard but we managed to find a place of our own. You know Dutch can talk a man into anything...”, she laughed but no one else found it amusing. 

“What about the law?”, Sadie asked, Cathryn shrugged. 

“We’ve had no trouble but then again we’ve kept quiet. It’s an honest life and it’s kept us safe. There’s something more important now...”, the group stared at her, unsure how to proceed with the conversation. “I’m sorry.”, Cathryn said, standing up. “I shouldn’t be here...” 

“Cathryn it’s alright.”, Charles said, standing too. “It was a difficult situation. As long as both you and Edith are safe and happy...that’s all that matters.”, Cathryn smiled graciously. 

“Thanks Charles but this is their home...”, she turned to John and Abigail. “If you don’t like my decision and if you don’t trust me then that’s fine...I understand. I just really wanted to see you.”, tears filled her eyes and when she was met with silence she walked out. No one stopped her when she left the house, the hot air hitting her face. She saw Edith running around after the chickens, Jack watching and laughing. 

“Edith!”, she called out. Edith turned her head and ran over to her mother, a big grin on her face. 

“Can we get a chicken?”, she asked, Cathryn smiled, her sadness washing away. 

“Perhaps we can persuade your father.”, she picked Edith up, cuddling her tightly and proceeded to walk to the wagon. The look on Abigail and Johns face had been unbearable, she just wanted to leave. 

“Cathryn, wait!”, John shouted, running over to her. Cathryn stopped and turned around; she didn’t want Edith hearing this. “Look, I’m sorry. It was just a shock. Everything is fresh to us still, the Dutch we know is the one that turned against us.”, Cathryn looked down to Edith, unsure of what to say and kissed the top of her head. “But I meant what I said when I left you and Arthur, you’re my family. You’re my sister.”, he came closer, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I would be a fool to let you go again because of Dutch...it’s been too long...”. Cathryn sniffed, trying not to cry. 

“Every day since I made that decision, I was terrified to see you. Terrified what you would think of me...Seeing your face just then was all my nightmares coming true.”, she felt a stray tear fall down her cheek. “He’s a good father and he’s a good husband. I wouldn’t let him around her if he wasn’t, if I didn’t trust him. You know that, don’t you John?”, John nodded, looking upon her sadly. 

“Look, it will take some getting used to. I promise I’ll talk to Abigail about it but you gotta know that Charles and Uncle and Sadie, they understand. You still have us Cathryn, I’m sorry it didn’t seem like it.”, Cathryn sniffed, wiping a stray tear and propping Edith on her hip. 

“I should go, John. It’s getting dark soon and Dutch will be wondering where we are.”, John nodded, frowning, wondering if he said something wrong. 

“Can I write to you?”, he asked, hoping she would say yes. She nodded. 

“I’ll write a letter for you tomorrow, and give you the direction to Arthur's grave.”, she said, helping Edith onto the wagon. “Thank you, John. Despite everything, I’m glad I saw you and your beautiful home. You should be really proud.”, John smiled. 

“I am.”, he pulled her into a tight embrace before letting go. It was unusual behaviour from John but she was sure that, like Dutch, he had mellowed into family life. “Have a safe journey, I look forward to your letter.”, Cathryn smiled, climbing onto the wagon and saying goodbye, Edith waving madly at Jack and the chickens. 

*** 

“We’re home sweet girl...”, Cathryn whispered to Edith who was half asleep. She had tried to stay up for so long but those chickens had tired her out. She picked her up and jumped from the wagon, Edith barely stirred. “Let’s get you to bed...”, she walked towards the front-door and opened it, grateful for the warm fire and smell of food. Dutch looked up from his chair, and smiled. 

“There you are.”, he stood up and walked over to them. “Little girl is out cold.”, he took Edith from Cathryn's arms and propped her up on his chest. 

“She had a run in with some chickens.”, Cathryn smiled, stroking her hair. “We shared some food on the way home so best put her to bed.”, Dutch nodded and the two of them walked over to Ediths room, a small bed in the corner. Dutch laid her down onto the mattress and pulled the duvet up across her body, tucking her in tightly. Cathryn watched as he kissed the top of her head before pulling away. 

“Is everything alright?”, he asked, walking over to her. “You should have been back earlier. Did something happen on the road?”, he stroked her cheek. Cathryn shook her head. 

“No, I just met some old friends.”, Dutch raised an eyebrow, gesturing for them to sit down by the fire. “I saw John...”, she said, staring into the fire. 

“John Marston?”, Dutch asked, Cathryn nodded. “What happened?” 

“We just bumped into each other. He showed me his new home, he’s turned into a rancher.”, Cathryn chuckled. “Abigail was there and Jack...Edith loved Jack. Sadie, Charles and Uncle were there too...” 

“Almost the whole gang...”, Dutch said, staring into the fire as well. Cathryn looked to him, unable to read his expression. 

“They were shocked I left with you in the end, Abigail probably angrier than I hoped. I’d seen that look in so many nightmares...that look of betrayal...”, Dutch turned to her concerned. 

“How do you feel?” 

“I understand it...when they hear your name, they see the man you were. Whereas that man is a distant memory to me, a dream that I’ve woken from. I was happy to see them but it was a painful reminder of the past.”, Dutch pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her frame. “I know you; I’ve seen you change. I love you for it.”, she looked up to him and the two kissed, content to spend the rest of the evening in an embrace with nothing left to disturb them.


	66. Epilogue Part 3: The Escape

**1911**

Cathryn sighed as she felt Dutch pepper kisses down her stomach, her fingers ran through his hair as his moustache tickled her skin. The sun was just starting to peak over the mountains, the room slowly filling with light. These days any moment of peace was taken advantage of quickly, lest they were to be interrupted by the children. 

“Such a good girl...”, Dutch whispered as he kissed between her thighs. “I love you so much.”. Cathryn moaned as he licked her softly. 

“Dutch...”, she whispered, trying to hold back a moan. It wouldn’t be the first time Edith ran in on them in the middle of the act. Dutch came back up, kissing her passionately. She could taste herself on his lips, the haze was intoxicating. 

“Fuck, I want you.”, Dutch whispered against her ear, nipping at her neck. She felt his hard cock rub against her wet thighs, begging to be let into her warmth. “That’s it sweetheart.”, he praised as she opened herself wider for him. He positioned himself and thrusted inside of her, groaning as he was met with her wet heat. The two lost themselves in their love-making, blind to the world around them, all that mattered was each other. When they had finally climaxed, Dutch pulled Cathryn to his body, content to stay in her embrace for the rest of the morning. 

“Are we doing the right thing?”, Cathryn asked when she had finally caught her breath, looking up at Dutch. 

“We can’t stay here much longer...”, Dutch whispered, kissing the top of her head. “The law is riled up again, obsessed with finding the ones that slipped through their fingers. If they find out I’m alive...it’s over.”, Cathryn began to trace patterns on his chest, his hair now starting to turn grey. 

“I know. It’s just this has been our home for so many years now, and it’s going to be difficult travelling. Maybe we wait a few more months, get some more money together”, Dutch took Cathryn's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing softly. 

“The summer is the best time to head up north, we don’t want to get stuck in a storm. Plus, I found a potential buyer yesterday. He’s willing to pay quite the price for our home...”. Cathryn nodded; she knew they would need to leave eventually. But Edith would find it difficult, she loved this house so much. Cathryn remembered when they first bought the place, it was cheap and secluded, it needed a lot of love and care. They fixed it up together, from the windows to the roofing, even with a newborn baby. As the house was mended, so was their relationship. She knew Dutch wouldn’t have wanted to leave this place unless he thought the threat was serious, she was surprised at how long they were able to lay low in the first place. Many believed Dutch van der Linde and his gang to be dead after the attack by the mountains, but old names were starting to reappear, much to the embarrassment of the Pinkertons. Their reputation was at stake with many people terrified of a return to mass crime, so now they were everywhere. A cry was heard from the next room, Cathryn sighed and stood up, putting on her night-dress. 

“Well, that was nice while it lasted...”, Cathryn said, pulling her hair out from the neckline. 

“Very nice...”, Dutch smirked, making no attempt to hide his staring at her body. Cathryn scoffed and left the room, turning into the small bedroom to her right. A bawling babe lay in the corner in a hand carved crib, made entirely from his father's own hands. 

“Shh...”, Cathryn cooed as she picked up the child, wiping his puffy red face. “It’s okay, mama’s here...”, she bounced him up and down and soon the little boy quietened down. “Do you want to see papa?”, the baby babbled and Cathryn took that as a yes. She went back into her room, and sat down on the bed, quickly enveloped by Dutch's arms. 

“Hosea’s getting big, almost a year old now.”, Dutch said, leaning over and stroking his clothed belly. When Hosea grabbed Dutch’s finger tightly Dutch laughed. “And he’s got quite the grip!” 

“Aww, are you mad that Papa didn’t say goodnight to you last night?”, Cathryn teased, her heart alight as Hosea smiled widely at the attention. 

“Well, excuse me, young man. I was trying to teach your sister how to figure out numbers. Don’t worry, I’ll have all the time in the world to teach you when you’re older and you will despise me for it just like she does!” 

“It can’t have been that bad!”, Cathryn chastised, laughing at Dutch. 

“She may have her father's love for reading but money is another matter!”, Dutch smirked, “she’ll get over it soon, once she realises you need money to buy books.”, Cathryn passed Hosea over to Dutch and stood up. 

“Unless she turns to a life of crime! Then she’ll really be following in your footsteps.”, Cathryn joked, finally getting properly dressed for a day of packing. 

“Literacy is a cause I can get behind, my dear.”, Dutch said, his attention now fully on little Hosea. 

*** 

Dutch was right, the potential buyer was serious and was willing to pay them a lot of money for the house. It would be enough, along with the rest of the Blackwater money, to start a new life across the border. It wouldn’t be ideal to travel so far with a child and baby but they had no choice. Dutch had started to see a couple Pinkertons in town, though thankfully none had recognised him. They packed as much as they could into their wagon and began their journey the moment the sun had risen. It would take a few days and they needed to catch a boat in Blackwater, but it would be worth it. 

“Apparently Bill Williamson runs his own gang now, down south...”, Dutch joked as they rode through the countryside. “Surprised he isn’t dead to be honest, not the brightest man.” 

“Javier must have gotten away too.”, Cathryn replied, thinking back on the man. 

“No doubt returned to Mexico, a lot of good money in the civil wars that rage there I hear.”, Dutch said and Cathryn chuckled to herself. 

“This is where you tell me that we are heading to the other border and you’ve joined some rebel leaders cause for Mexican liberation.”, Dutch smirked, taking a puff of his cigar. 

“Maybe if you asked me ten years ago.” 

*** 

The route to Blackwater was relatively calm and the weather was nice enough that the family could relax and enjoy themselves. 

“What’s that one, mama?”, Edith asked, now a girl of nine, pointing to a creature across the plains. Cathryn looked closely. 

“It’s a pronghorn.”, Cathryn said. “They’re very fast, difficult to hunt unless you’re hidden.”, Edith nodded, watching them graze on the grass. 

“When can I go hunting?”, Edith asked, she always wanted to follow her mother when she went out hunting but Cathryn always said no. 

“Maybe when we get to our new home, I can teach you how to set a trap first. We can catch you a rabbit and make you some gloves for the winter.”, Edith smiled, nodding fast, then went back to reading her book. 

“I can imagine her face when she kills something for the first time.”, Dutch whispered to Cathryn. “Little one’s gonna be heartbroken.”, Cathryn nodded. The first kill was always the hardest, but Edith would have to get used to it. Hunting meant survival. 

They soon arrived in Blackwater; Dutch tipped his head to the graves as they rode past. This may be the last time he ever goes back to his mother's grave. It was a shame there wasn’t enough time to stop and lay flowers, but the boat would be leaving soon. 

“Blackwater’s changed a lot.”, Dutch said, surveying the town. He hadn’t been down this way since they retrieved the Blackwater money. “I can already see the Pinkertons have infested the place.”, he tilted his hat down across his face. “How John lives so close to this place and hasn’t been caught, I will never know.” 

“It’ll be fine, we have everything we need to leave.”, Cathryn reassured, though she was also frightened. To escape the law they needed to go through the belly of the beast. This time it wasn’t just about them though, they had something more important to protect. Cathryn turned to Edith. “Edith, listen to me...”, she looked up from her book. “I need you to be quiet and on your best behaviour, understand?”, Edith nodded, understanding the seriousness of the situation at such a young age. Cathryn smiled and stroked the top of Ediths head before turning around, they were by the docks now, the boat they would be boarding to take them to Canada was docked. 

“John.”, Dutch said, tensing up. Cathryn looked forward to see John on his horse, surveying the area. Dutch hadn’t seen John since the gang had fallen apart, it was an unexpected complication. “You said he stopped writing?” 

“Yes, about six months ago.”, Cathryn said. “But I used my fake name and we never wrote explicitly about the gang.”, Dutch nodded, trying to formulate a plan. John would recognise them if he saw them and Dutch was paranoid. There would have been a reason for John to stop writing, there had to be. “Just act normal, I’m sure he won’t see us unless we draw attention.”, Dutch nodded and lowered his face, riding closer to the boat. There was a queue of people with wagons, waiting for their possessions to be loaded onto the boat. 

“Ticket and identification please?”, a short man asked and Dutch quickly grabbed the tickets and forged documents. “Thank you.”, the man said, scanning the papers. “Everything appears to be in order Mr. Vandenberg, some men will grab your luggage in a moment. Have a safe journey!”, the man then returned their documents and went to the wagon behind them. Dutch took a sigh of relief. 

“See?”, Cathryn said, holding Dutch's hand tightly. “It’s going to be okay?”, it was that moment that Hosea decided it was not okay and screamed out for his mother. Cathryn tried to sooth him, bouncing him up and down, begging to God for her baby to be quiet. She had fed him before they left, he shouldn’t be hungry. 

“Everything alright Mrs?”, Cathryn looked up to see John, both of them stared in a state of shock. John then looked behind her, realising that just across from her sat Dutch van der Linde. The man that had left him to die. Dutch had aged, his hair starting to go grey and he was sporting a full beard now, but John could remember those eyes anywhere. 

“Hello John.”, Dutch greeted, his eyes never straying. “It’s been a long time.”, John backed up with his horse, fear filling his face. 

“You can’t be here.”, John whispered to Cathryn. “The Pinkertons...” 

“We’re leaving John.”, Cathryn said, Hosea had finally stopped crying. “This is our last ticket out of here.”, John sighed, looking around. 

“They have her, they have Abigail and Jack.”, John admitted, that was why he hadn’t been writing. “The Pinkertons, they’re making me track everyone from the gang. They’ll release my family if I do what they say.”, Dutch tensed up, he could sense the threat from a mile away. 

“What about us?”, Cathryn asked, hoping John hadn’t released any information about their whereabouts. John shook his head. 

“I didn’t tell them about you, you have to believe me. But they believe Dutch is alive and no matter what I tell them they aren’t satisfied. I had to track Bill and Javier for them...but they say it’s not enough...”, John looked to Dutch. “They want one more big score.”, Dutch bristled behind Cathryn, the irony not lost on him. He once wrongly believed John betrayed him for his family, now this time he could be proven right. John would do anything to get Abigail and Jack back. 

“John, please. Don’t do this.”, Cathryn begged silently. “Dutch van der Linde is dead, as am I.”, John looked to the right, there were a group of Pinkerton officers. 

“John...”, Dutch said, commanding John's attention. “They won’t let you go; they’ll kill you first. That’s what they do, they use you until they no longer find a use for you and then they let you swing.” 

“Think I don’t know that?”, John snapped. “I’ve been through it before, perhaps you’ve forgotten.”, the words stung but they rang true. No matter how much Dutch had changed he couldn’t run from his past, couldn’t ignore the effect he had on John. 

“Then let them go.”, Dutch said, Cathryn stared at him shock. “They aren’t looking for them, they want me. If you have to bring me in then let them go.” 

“No, you can’t do that Dutch.”, Cathryn whispered, clinging onto him tightly, Edith was staring to listen in. “I won’t let you.” 

“Yes, you will.”, Dutch said, entangling her hands from his arm. “You’ll ride this boat and find a new home, a safe home.”, he took Cathryn's face in his hands, wiping away her tears. “We can’t run from this, if John tells them I’m here it will put us all at risk. Believe me, if I could I would fight my way through every single one of them. But it would just put you and the children at risk.” Cathryn shook her head, turning back to John. 

“John, I beg you.”, she cried. “You can’t take him from me. You can’t take him from his children. They need him, we may not make it without him. Turn a blind eye, just this once. I have never asked you for anything.”, John looked conflicted, once again looking over to the group of law enforcement. “Please John...you know what Arthur would have done.” 

“Mama, what’s going on?”, Edith asked, suddenly very nervous at seeing her mother so upset. 

“Everything alright Marston?”, one of the men shouted over, Cathryn felt her heart hammer in her chest. This was it, everything hung in the balance of this next line. 

“I’m fine, Sir. Just double-checking papers.”, John shouted back, he turned to Cathryn, uncertain if he had done the right thing. “I wished we had run, but we were too confident...we thought we had gotten by...”, John said, glancing to the baby in Cathryn's arms and to Edith. “I don’t think they will ever let us be together, they’ll kill me first.”, John looked back to Dutch. “Look after them, please.”, Dutch tipped his hat to John. 

“I will.” 

“Never thought I would see the day Dutch sacrifice himself for others...”, John said, turning to Cathryn. “You were right. If I took him in, I’d be no different from Ross and his men. Dutch van der Linde is dead, died a long time ago from some drunken bar brawl and his body floated down the river, never to be seen again.” 

“Thank you, John.”, Cathryn said, a sad smile on her face. “I hope you find Abigail and Jack, you know if I could I would help you get them back.”, John nodded. 

“I know, Cathryn. You’ve always done so much for me and my family.”, John turned to leave but then looked back on the family. “Safe travels to all of you.”, then with a sad smile, John rode away. Knowing he had lost an opportunity to get his family back, but it was the right thing to do. 

“Mr Vandenberg?”, some men asked, walking up to the wagon. “You ready for us to unload?”, Dutch nodded, still shaken up by the ordeal. 

“Yes, thank you Gentlemen. Come on dear, let’s go aboard.”, Dutch said, offering his hand. Cathryn looked back on Blackwater, on the life she had lived and the pain and joy she had experienced living it. She could see John in the distance, her heart was heavy with sorrow. 

“I’m ready.”, she said, taking his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the final chapter of To Insist. Thank you everyone so much that has stuck with this story and supported me in anyway. Every view, kudos, comment and bookmark has meant the world to me and encouraged me to keep writing. This was a huge project for me, I had always wanted to write and finish my own fic so I'm incredibly proud of myself right now!
> 
> In terms of upcoming projects I'm thinking of doing another fic with Cathryn but this time 'what would have happened if she had never been captured by the law?", each chapter would be like a one-shot and people could comment any scenarios they might like to see, regardless of time-jump. I just thought that would be fun and I could see where the story takes me! But right now I'm focusing on my studies so I'm unsure when that will start! 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone and I hope you have enjoyed my work!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first RDR story so I hope you enjoy!


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